Chapter twenty-six
Devyn
After breakfast, my dad texted me and asked if I could come by his hotel room. I immediately said yes because I was curious. The fashion show had been the night before and I wanted to know how it went.
As soon as he opened the door, I knew something was wrong. His eyes looked tired like he hadn’t gotten any rest last night.
“Morning,” I said as I stepped inside.
“Morning, baby.”
I studied his face. “Did you go to the fashion show?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I kicked off my shoes. “How was it?”
“It was nice,” he replied. He paused then added, “You should’ve come.”
I clicked my tongue. “No thank you.”
A small smile appeared on his face. “I kinda figured you’d say that.”
“I have no interest in seeing that woman ever again,” I said.
The smile immediately disappeared from his face. And that was when I noticed that something was wrong.
I frowned and asked, “Why do you look like that?”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Like you haven’t slept all night.”
He looked away and my stomach immediately tightened.
“Daddy.”
He sighed heavily. “I had a hard night.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I know you didn’t go to no after party.” I gave him the side eyes.
That actually earned a small chuckle from him. “Nah. Nothing like that.”
“Then what?” I asked.
His smile faded again. “I met with your mother after the show.”
My entire body tensed. “Please don’t call her that.”
The words came out sharper than I intended because his eyebrows rose.
“What?” he asked.
“Don’t call her my mother.” I folded my arms over my chest. “Monique is not my mother.”
“Devyn.”
“No.” I shook my head. “If you ask me, she was a surrogate who fulfilled her and of the deal.”
He immediately went quiet. My father dragged a hand across his face, and the gesture worried me a lot.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked.
He looked up. “What you mean?”
“Why do you look so stressed out?” I took a step closer. “Daddy, are you okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Are you sick?”
“No,” he replied. “Nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?” I asked.
Concern settled heavily in my chest because for as long as I could remember, my father had always been my safe place. Seeing him like this made me nervous.
“Come sit down next to me, sweetie,” he said as he patted a spot on the sofa.
I immediately walked over and sat beside him because now I was really worried.
“What’s wrong?” I asked for the umpteenth time.
He looked at me for several seconds then took a deep breath.
“So, you know I went to the fashion show.”
“Yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “And Lord knows why you did that.”
A small laugh escaped him. “Yeah.” His smile disappeared almost instantly. “I kind of wish I hadn’t gone either.”
My stomach dropped because now I knew whatever he was about to tell me wasn’t going to be good.
“But I did.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And while I was there…” The pause felt endless. “I discovered something.”
I frowned. “What?”
Another pause. “Monique has a son.”
For a second I thought I had heard him wrong. I just stared at him waiting for him to laugh and say he was joking or explain what he meant. Instead, he just sat there looking miserable.
“She has a what?” I asked.
“A son.”
“She has a son?” I asked.
My father nodded. “Yeah.”
“Oh.”
I stared at the floor trying to process it and understand. Trying to make it make sense.
Finally, I looked up. “Okay.” My voice sounded distant, even to me. “How old is he?”
My father didn’t answer immediately and that scared me.
“Daddy?”
He swallowed hard then quietly said, “He’s ten.”
I jumped off the couch so fast my knee hit the coffee table. “TEN?!” My father closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. “TEN?!”
“Devyn…”
“She has a ten-year-old son?” I asked.
The words echoed through the room. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it.
“Ten?” I repeated.
“Yeah.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No.”
My father stood up and walked over to me. “Baby…”
“No.” I backed away from him. “Uh uh.”
The math was happening in real time, and every second made it worse.
“Were they together the whole time?”
“What you mean?” he asked.
“I mean did she raise him?”
Complete and total silence. But the silence was answer enough. I laughed a broken, angry laugh.
“Wow.”
“Devyn.”
“Just wow.”
Tears burned behind my eyes. I hated that they were there. I hated that this woman could still hurt me after all this time.
“So, she stayed for him,” I said in a quiet tone.
“Don’t do that to yourself sweetie.”
“How can I not?” My voice cracked as I tried to hold back the tears. “How am I not supposed to feel some kind of way?” The tears finally spilled over. “She left me Daddy but stayed for him!”
My father looked away. Maybe because he couldn’t argue with that.
“She left me.” I repeated again in a quieter tone this time. “And then she had another baby.”
“Devyn.”
“And stayed to raise him,” I said in a sad tone. “Why didn’t she stay for me Daddy?”
The words felt like glass coming out of my mouth… sharp, painful, and impossible to swallow. My father stepped forward but I stepped back because right now I didn’t want anyone to comfort me.
I wanted answers. “What’s wrong with me Daddy?” I cried.
His face immediately fell. “Nothing is wrong with you baby. Absolutely nothing.”
“Then why wasn’t I enough?” I asked as tears spilled from my eyes.
“Devyn.”
“Why wasn’t I enough for her?”
The tears came harder now… hot, relentless and humiliating. Why the hell was I crying over a woman who never gave a damn about me.
“If she could be a mother to him, why couldn’t she be one to me?” I pressed.
My father grabbed my shoulders. “I need you to listen to me sweetie.” I couldn’t even look at him. “Devyn.” His voice cracked as his eyes became glossy. “Nothing is wrong with you baby.”
The conviction in his voice made me look up. “Do you hear me?” I didn’t answer. “Nothing is wrong with you.”
“Then why didn’t she want ME?!” I cried.
The tears kept falling then he pulled me into his arms and for the first time since learning about Monique’s son, I let myself cry. I mean I really cried.
I cried for several more minutes before I finally managed to pull myself together. My dad stayed right there beside me the entire time.
He didn’t rush me or tell me to calm down or even tell me that everything would be okay. He just sat there and let me feel what I was feeling. Eventually, I wiped my eyes with a tissue and released a shaky breath.
“I hate her,” I admitted quietly.
My father looked down at his hands. “I know you do,” he said.
“I really hate her.”
“I know, baby and it’s okay to have those feelings. Just don’t let them change who you are,” he advised.
I glanced towards the coffee table and immediately spotted Monique’s business card sitting next to an empty coffee cup. The same one that had caused all of this. The one with her phone number and contact information on it.
Without thinking too hard about it, I picked it up and glanced at the front. Then I slid it into my hoodie pocket. My father was too busy watching me to notice. Or maybe he noticed and chose not to say anything.
I honestly wasn’t sure.
A few seconds later, he stood up. “I’m gonna extend my trip.”
I looked up at him and asked, “What?”
“I’m gonna stay longer. Maybe I’ll leave Friday or Monday,” he said.
“Daddy…”
His expression softened. “I don’t want you spending Thanksgiving here by yourself. Not after that happened,” he explained.
The lump immediately returned to my throat. “You know you don’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, I do. You’re going through something and you shouldn’t be going through it without family,” he said.
Before I could stop myself, I wrapped my arms around him. This time I was the one holding on.
“Thanks Daddy.”
His arms tightened around me. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”
And for a moment I allowed myself to just be his little girl again. Not the girl whose mother walked away. Not the girl whose mother raised another child. But Caine Vaughn’s daughter.
Eventually I pulled away and grabbed my coat. “I’ll see you later.”
“Love you sweetheart,” Daddy said.
“I love you too.”
Then I left. The entire walk back to the dorm felt like a blur. By the time I reached my building, my eyes were burning again. I didn’t even make it halfway down the hallway before Sahara spotted me. The second she saw my face, her expression changed.
“Oh no.”
That was all she said before she opened her arms. And that was all I needed for the tears to start back up immediately. I practically collapsed into her. She wrapped both arms around me and held me tightly.
“It’s okay.”
No, it wasn’t. Nothing about this was okay. But rather than say it out loud, I just buried my face against her shoulder and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. By the time we got back to our room, I felt emotionally exhausted.
Sahara handed me a bottle of water, and I took a few sips then sat on my bed. For several moments, neither of us spoke. Finally, she broke the silence.
“What happened?”
I stared at the floor then took a deep breath and told her everything.
I told her about my daddy going to the fashion show. About the coffee meeting they had afterwards. And about the little boy Monique had four years after she walked away from me.
Then I told her about the conversation with my father. By the time I finished, Sahara looked ready to commit a felony. She sat frozen for about three seconds.
“Let’s go find the bitch and kick her ass!” Sahara suggested.
The statement was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help it. A laugh escaped me, a real one. The first one I had all day.
Sahara pointed at me. “See.”
“What?” I asked.
“That’s the first time you’ve smiled since you walked in here.”
I shook my head. “Because you are crazy girl,” I replied.
“Maybe so.” She shrugged. “But if you need me to beat somebody up, I’m available.” Then she stood up and started kickboxing the air as another laugh escaped me.
This one was stronger than the first.
Sahara smiled proudly. “There she is.”