Everly
EVERLY
I put Rhett to bed, brushing a lock of hair off his forehead. He gave a contented sigh, stretched, and in seconds, he’d fallen asleep. I remained in place for a few minutes, watching his little chest rise and fall. I’d worried the altercation between me and Paul earlier today would spoil his fun, but watching him hurtle around the track, his performance better than ever, and seeing his bright, shining eyes and happy face when Nico returned him to me, I knew it hadn’t. Even Paul had seemed moderately proud of what his son had achieved.
Back in the living room, Paul had his feet up on my coffee table, remote in one hand and a glass of something alcoholic in the other. A comedy played on TV, but I wasn’t in the mood for laughing. I needed him gone, but not before I’d set a few ground rules. What happened today at Nico’s racing school could never happen again.
“Turn the TV off,” I said, sitting in the chair adjacent. “We need to talk.”
“Is that him?” Paul said, ignoring my request, his eyes glued to the screen in the corner of my living room. “The guy you cheated on me with?”
My mouth gaped wide open, and I just stared at him for what felt like minutes, but in reality, only seconds passed us by. Paul didn’t shift his focus the entire time I sat there, stunned into silence by his question.
“ Cheated on you? ” I bit out.
“Yeah,” he said, sliding his eyes to mine. “It’s clear to me you’ve been fucking that guy. He’s lucky I didn’t smack the proprietary expression off his face.”
I choked out a laugh. “I’d like to see you try.”
“Cripples turn you on, do they, Ev?” he asked, a cruel tilt to his lips.
I ground my teeth together. “Nico is not a cripple.”
“I did a little research on him while you were putting Rhett to bed. No wonder you spread your legs for him. He can certainly afford to pay you. Although, you must have improved in that department since I last had you. As I recall, you were pretty lame in the sack.”
Rage built within the pit of my stomach, like a hot spring unable to deny the force of the earth beneath it. I dug my fingernails into my palms, willing myself to remain calm. I couldn’t afford to lose it, not with Rhett in the next room.
“I’d like you to leave, Paul,” I said, changing my mind about the setting of boundaries. “Right now.”
He sipped his drink, his eyes returning to the TV. “I’ll go when I’m good and ready. Besides, I can’t afford that motel for much longer, so I’ll be moving in here by the end of the week. Find a way to deal with it, Ev, because I’m back for good.”
I shot upright, my legs acting independently, sending me into a standing position. I snatched the glass from Paul’s hand, the contents sloshing over the sides. “Get out of my house.”
Paul lazily turned his head and ran his tongue along the underside of his top teeth. “Make me.”
Glowering, I set the glass on the coffee table. “Spare me the veiled threats, Paul. You don’t scare me. And you are not moving in here. I suggest you find yourself a job and a place of your own if the motel is too pricey.”
“I don’t scare you, huh?” He stood, and before I had a chance to move, he snapped a hand around the back of my neck, yanked me hard against his body, and kissed me.
Panic crawled into my throat as I fought to get him off me. I twisted to the side and clawed at him. He let me go as three lines of blood appeared down the side of his face.
“You fucking bitch.”
I ran to the front door, wrenching it open. “Get out. Get out, Paul, or I swear I’ll scream so damn loud the entire neighborhood will come running.”
He went to walk by me, then gripped my chin, painfully digging his fingertips into my flesh. “This isn’t over, Ev.”
The second he set foot outside, I closed the door, turned the lock, and slid the chain into its housing. And then my legs went from beneath me, and I sank to the floor. A sob burst out of me. I clamped a hand over my mouth. If Rhett heard, he’d want to know what the matter was, and I could hardly tell him his father had attacked me. God, for one awful second, I’d thought he was going to rape me, and I wouldn’t have stood a chance of fighting him off. My threat to scream had been just that, a threat. With Rhett in the house, I wouldn’t have risked traumatizing him.
“Nico,” I whispered. “I need you.”
I climbed to my feet and collapsed into the chair. I reached for my phone, the urge to call Nico swelling within me until I could barely stand it. I didn’t call, though. Not yet. I needed to work through what just happened in my own mind before trying to explain it to him. And what if he didn’t want me anymore. I’d put on hold what we had, all in the name of my son, who deserved a much better father than Paul could ever be.
I might have no choice other than to give Paul visitation rights to Rhett, but I’d be damned if he ever set foot in this house again.
My throat felt raw when I awoke the next morning, and my body ached as I eased back the covers and climbed out of bed, probably because I’d spent the entire night tensing every muscle, straining my ears for signs of Paul returning. Why had I allowed him to strut back into our lives without a single explanation of where he’d been? I should have been firmer, told him that if he wanted to see Rhett, he could apply to the courts. But the shock of his unexpected return had meant I’d gone into a kind of daze. I’d spent so long praying for his return, at first for myself and Rhett, and eventually just for Rhett, that when my prayers were answered, I keeled over, letting him take complete control.
If wishes were kisses… I’d be waking up beside Nico, with Paul a distant, fading memory.
I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, horrified at the image staring back. Lips swollen to twice their normal size, a slight bruise where Paul’s fingers had dug into my chin, and dark circles beneath my eyes. In all the years I’d known him, he’d never behaved violently toward me, yet last night that violence had appeared from nowhere, igniting from barely a spark.
Who was Paul Lawson, and where had he spent the last two years?
I covered the evidence of Paul’s rough treatment with makeup, then padded into the kitchen and put on some coffee. Rhett appeared, yawning loudly, his hair in disarray. “Do I have to go to school today?” were the first words out of his mouth.
“Yes,” I said, forcing a laugh for his sake. “But good try, honey.”
He huffed out a big breath. “Can we go and see Nico after school?”
A pain as sharp as a shard of glass went right through my chest. It was the first time he’d asked for Nico since Paul returned. I pressed a fist to my sternum, shaking my head. “Not today. You can see him on Friday at the track.”
“Okay,” he said, his eyes filled with resignation as well as disappointment.
I waited for him to ask about Paul. He didn’t. I decided not to broach the subject either, preferring to pretend he hadn’t come back, hadn’t kissed me and threatened me.
I dropped Rhett off at school and headed for the grocery store. I needed a few things before heading home. But as I pulled into the parking lot, I discovered I’d left my purse at home. Goddammit . I had a ton of work to get through today. I didn’t have time for this shit.
I drove the three miles back home, dashed into the house, and retrieved my purse. As I locked the door once more, a shuffling noise had me spinning around. A man stood behind me, a stranger, about six feet two with broad shoulders, a mop of red hair, and thick-rimmed glasses. I held my car key between my fingers and readied myself to attack. Not that I’d stand a chance if he decided to come at me, but I wouldn’t go down without a fight.
“ Lawson?” he queried, holding his hands in the air and taking a step back. He must have read the alarm on my face.
“Who wants to know?” I glanced around. The street was empty, but if I screamed, someone might come. I’d read somewhere that it was better to yell “Fire!” than “Help!”
“I’m not here to hurt you. My name is Nick Grayson. I worked with Paul. Can we talk?”
I scanned the street again. Still no one milling about.
“Maybe you’ll let me buy you a coffee? I saw a coffee shop a few minutes away.”
A public place. That would work. I was curious about his visit. If he knew Paul, then maybe he could shed some light on where he’d disappeared to for the last two years.
“Mallory’s?” I queried.
“That’s the one.”
I jerked my chin at my truck. “I’ll follow you there.”
“Great.”
I watched as he returned to his car and drove off, and for a minute, I considered getting in my truck and going straight to the grocery store. Then again, he knew where I lived, and something in the set of his jaw, the determined look in his eyes, meant he’d only return at another time, probably pissed that I’d left him hanging.
Parking outside Mallory’s, I spotted his car a short distance away, and as I glanced in the window of the coffee shop, there he was, fiddling with a napkin, waiting for me.
I went inside and slid into the seat across from him.
“Thanks for coming,” he said, pushing a menu in front of me. “I didn’t know what you’d like.”
“A latte is fine. Thank you.”
He nodded, lined up at the counter, and returned with two lattes. He added three sugars to his. I added none to mine.
I cut to the chase. “What’s this all about? How do you know Paul?”
“We worked together.”
“So you said.”
He picked up his cup but didn’t drink. “How much do you really know about Paul Lawson? I’m guessing you don’t know him at all.”
I rubbed the space between my eyebrows. “Look, Mr. Grayson. I don’t have time for this. Why don’t you just get whatever it is off your chest, and we can both carry on with our day?”
He wiped his fingertips over his mouth, even though he still hadn’t drunk a drop of coffee. “Do you want to know why he turned up here the other day, completely out of the blue? Because he has nowhere else to go. When he knocked you up, he broke every rule in the book. He kept it quiet, though, but I uncovered his secret. I’d have kept quiet, too. We all make mistakes, but after what he did, I decided the time had come for payback. I told his superiors, and they kicked him out.”
I wrinkled my nose, confused at the stream of consciousness he’d laid on me. “Okay, back up. I have no clue what you’re talking about. What rules? You’ve completely lost me.”
“What did Paul tell you he did for a living?”
I was getting mightily fed up with this game of twenty questions and zero answers. “He’s in construction.”
Grayson laughed. “No, he’s not.”
I let out an exasperated huff. “Then you tell me. It’s obvious you’re dying to.”
“You’re right. That bastard deserves everything coming to him. Paul Lawson is—was—an undercover cop. He formed a relationship with you because you lived right across the street from a gang of drug dealers Paul had been trying to nail for months, without success. And nothing gets in the way of Paul and a bust. He thought it’d be six months, tops, but these weren’t your average drug dealers. The Mexican cartels backed them. Clever, wily, too careful to get caught. It took him four years of meticulously gathering evidence before he had enough to charge them with multiple counts of drug trafficking. As soon as he nailed the gang, his superiors called him back in from the field. Then it was ‘Bye-bye, .’ But getting you pregnant wasn’t part of the deal. The rules of undercover allow the formation of a relationship as a means to an end, but they do not allow for kids or marriage. Nothing long-term.”
My head swam trying to take in everything Nick Grayson had said. Paul, an undercover cop? Used me so he could watch a house across the street. Abandoned me and his son so callously as soon as he’d caught the bad guys.
I covered my face with my hands, my whole body trembling. Shock. That was what this was. Too much. Far too much.
“Hey, are you okay? Shit, I’m sorry. But you deserved to know.”
All those nights I’d go to bed and Paul would make excuses to stay up, or he’d start a fight over nothing and I’d retire early just to get away from the terrible atmosphere caused by Paul in a mood. All of it created so he could watch the comings and goings of a drug house.
For years.
Years.
Jesus Christ.
I shoved my hands into my hair and left them there. My entire adult life was a lie. At twenty, I’d been a sitting duck for an experienced, single-minded man like Paul. The perfect stooge. His abject rage when I’d told him I’d gotten pregnant by accident made sense now. He’d gone on and on at me for weeks to get an abortion. When I’d refused, he’d seemed to accept it, and I’d expected a marriage proposal to follow, but from what Grayson had said, that was never in the cards.
“Why are you telling me this?” I rasped. “Why now?”
His eyes grew hard, cold. “Because that fucker screwed my wife. They’ve been having an affair for over a year. Once I found out, I went all out, determined to unearth something on that bastard. Undercover cops are full of secrets. We lie to everyone. All I had to do was find one chink in his oh-so-perfect armor. Imagine my delight when I discovered he’d fathered a kid. Boom! Bye-bye, career.”
I have to get out of here before I puke all over the table.
On shaking legs, I stood. “Thank you, Mr. Grayson. You have a pleasant day now.”