Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Sam waited until Hillary hugged Max and sent him out the front door to settle in his recliner with a cup of coffee.
He had to talk to Hil, have something to bring to the breakfast table.
The kids had been watching a movie or something. It had been odd when he came in — Hillary wasn’t sitting with Max’s arm wrapped around her or anything, and there hadn’t been a kiss goodnight either.
Maybe they’d heard his truck. He didn’t know. It wasn’t sure it mattered.
“Did y’all have a good night?”
She came back to the sofa, shrugging as she plopped down and grabbed the fuzzy pillow that she loved even as little Vella climbed on top of it, the fuzzy beast all black eyes and nose in a sea of white. “We watched a movie.”
There was a dullness in her tone that set all his papa senses to flashing. “Anything good?”
She shook her head. “Some superhero thing. How about you? How did it go with Evan?”
“He’s a nice guy. We talked about some things, about maybe getting some custody stuff worked out, money stuff for the baby, that sort of thing.”
He waited for the explosion, but instead got—
“Yeah, he asked me to marry him.”
He was gonna puke.
“Uh-huh. What did you say?”
She stared over at him with tears in her eyes. “I asked him if he would have asked if I wasn’t pregnant. And he couldn’t answer that. It was all bad.”
He rubbed his forehead, shook his head. That boy was about dumb. “?Qué wey es!…Damn it, mi’ja.”
“I know, right? I mean, we’d only talked like two times before I found out, so…
” She sighed, shook her head. “I told him no. I’m not going to marry somebody because I’m pregnant.
This isn’t 1950. But what if he wants to have half the time, and the baby be in Massachusetts?
I can’t do that. I can’t give up my baby like that. ”
He knew, and they’d fight on things, but Max was the baby daddy. “That’s likely when they’re in school—it’ll be spring break and summers there, school year with you, but that’s not for a while.”
She sniffled, nodding, and he knew she was going to start crying soon. God, he hated himself when she cried, and it tore him right up. “I know, Papa.”
“At least he’s trying to do the right thing, sweetie.
” He didn’t know exactly what else to say, except he added, “It’s all messy, huh, but you’re doing the right thing for you, too.
You’re absolutely right. You shouldn’t marry him just because he’s asking and because you’re pregnant. Not if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t. I mean, I like Max a lot, and I think maybe if we got to know each other better, we could maybe be something, but we’re not. And he’s not from here, and I don’t want to go live there.” The tears were sitting right on the edge of her lower eyelids, and he knew they were about to fall.
“That’s okay, mi’ja. You don’t have to. But you are going to have to deal with him for the rest of your life.
You know that.” Sam needed her to be perfectly aware of that fact, and he needed her to take a deep breath and decide she was going to be a reasonable adult human being here and give him something to take to Evan.
Like she had read his mind, she took a deep breath, and then let it out, and straightened her shoulders. “So, what kind of things did you and Evan talk about? What do I need to know?”
“We talked about things like insurance and healthcare for the baby, we talked about child support, we talked about how Max has to be responsible for his own shit, even though his daddy has more money than God.”
“Yeah. I know, right?” She snorted. “He was just a cute boy, Papa.”
“He’s still just a dude. His daddy got money, not him.”
“Eee a la! Like me.” She chuckled and patted her belly. “So, we need baby insurance. We need to know that if he becomes some big hockey player he supports the baby, no?”
Oh, his smart girl. “See? That’s what I thought. And then I said no taking the baby for the first year. Not while you’re—” He motioned towards her breasts. “—nursing.
The thought sort of made him want to barf again. This was his baby girl.
“Still, I said maybe they could come down here when you were close and be here, if you wanted, to see the baby when it was new and then maybe you and me and the baby could go up that direction for spring break and see them so they could get to know the little one.”
“That sounds fair. I want to be fair, but I’m not sure Max and I even really are hot for each other anymore.
We like each other, sure, but do I want to have sex with him?
And it seems important, right? To want to have sex with somebody that you’re going to marry?
” She got up. “Do you want a thing from the kitchen? I’m really kind of hungry. ”
Sam thought she was more stressed than hungry, but that was okay. “I’ll come with you. We’ll see what we can find. Maybe we can have some ice cream or something.”
She giggled, the tears mostly gone now. “You don’t want to hear me say the word “sex,” do you?”
“No, mi’ja. I really don’t. In fact, every time you talk about having sex with that little boy, I want to pop him in the nose really hard, even though I know you were fifty-fifty with it.” He was going to have to get over that, and he knew it.
“Yeah, I’d say that that sucked, but you know what, Papa?
It’s kind of cool. Sometimes, when I think about being with him, I kind of want to pop him in the nose too.
He’s a good guy, but he’s just such a bro.
” She looked at him, obviously worried. “Do you think anybody’s ever going to want to be into me again once I’m a mom? ”
“Aye, mira, you know better. Babies happen. Cowboys love babies. You just got to remember to fall in love with a cowboy. Someone will be good to you. Someone from here. Those are the important things.”
He would never tell her that she couldn’t move away, but it would kill him.
He didn’t think he could function, especially now there was a baby coming. His nieto, his hija, right here where they belonged.
It was too much to ponder, so he changed the subject.
“Have you decided which extra bedroom you want for the nursery?”
She nodded, “Yeah, I’ll take the one that’s across the hall from me.
That way someone else can be asleep if they’re in the guest room, and besides, it’s mostly just storage in there.
” She grabbed the ice cream out of the freezer, then started hunting toppings.
“At some point, we’ll find out if it’s a boy or a girl, but I’m gonna paint the room yellow anyway.
I think it’s a pretty, cheery room color. ”
Hillary’s room changed about as often as the color in her hair did. She wasn’t scared at all about going to buy a gallon of paint and pulling everything down off the walls and changing colors.
Sam was more the stable type. Once he painted the kitchen walls blue, they stayed blue. Or once he put down Talavera tile in the front room, he wanted it to stay that way. But that was okay. And he was perfectly happy to have a yellow baby room.
“I like yellow, depending on what color it is. Now, you don’t want it to be piss yellow.”
“Ew, no. A baby yellow, something bright and cheerful, but also kind of pastel-ish, you know?”
She dug out ice cream into two bowls and then put chocolate fudge on hers and some kind of caramel sauce on his along with nuts and whipped cream.
“Don’t forget the cherries, mi’ja. You know I love those stupid fake red things.” He had a terrible weakness for maraschino cherries.
“Are they in the door?” She opened the fridge again, hunting them. “Oh, there they are. So you’re going out to breakfast tomorrow with Evan, too?”
He squinted at her, trying to figure out what that tone meant.
“I am. He’s not going to be able to stay here too much longer.”
“Same-same.” She shrugged. “Do I need to talk the legal stuff with him, or are you going to do it?”
“I’m going to talk with Evan and get this worked out. There’ll be legal paperwork at some point, and then you’ll sign it after you read it.”
“Okay, I trust you, Papa.”
“I know.”
Sam did. He was grateful for it every goddamn day. “I’ll take care of you and my little nieto.”
“She could be your nieta.”
He let himself go shocked, wide-eyed. “?Ay, de mi! Can you imagine two girls, two of you, little bows and cheerleading lessons, and more barrel racing, glittery hats?”
“You’d love it,” she argued.
“I love this baby because it’s part of you, Hillary.”
She grabbed his hand and put it over her belly. “I’m sorry. I’m so scared, Papa. I’m so ashamed.”
“Babies happen.” Of course she was worried, but ashamed? Bah. That would be all bad.
“Did you ever regret me?”
That was an easy answer. “No, not once, not one second.”
She searched his eyes, then she nodded once she found what she was searching for. “That’s what this baby will need, and that’s going to be me. No regrets, not one second.”
“That’s right, mi’ja. You will be the rock, the mama. No regrets.”
He grabbed his bowl of ice cream. “Come on. Let’s watch RuPaul. You can get more makeup tips.”
* * *
Evan called Bobby that night after he got back from dinner with Sam.
He was glad when his buddy answered the phone to hear that he sounded clear-headed and not groggy or drugged.
It had been a hell of a thing, the season being over and him having a fucking car accident of all things.
And actually, Bobby hadn’t even been driving; he’d been out for his run, and some guy had hit him right there on the street.
Hopefully he hadn’t broken so many bones that he was going to end his hockey career or anything. But it was going to take him all summer to recover from this, and when he went back to training, he was still going to be in rehab probably.
“Hey, Evan, buddy, how’s it going out there?” He could tell from Bobby’s tone that he was pissed off that Evan was having to do this for him. Not at Evan, of course, but at himself.
“Well, it’s awkward as fuck, man. Your boy is kind of a dipshit, Bobby.”
“Tell me something I don’t know, buddy. Tell me about the girl, her family. What kind of people are they?”