Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Phoebe had almost forgotten what it felt like to walk through the front door of her former home without her heart being weighed down by something.
She had sent word ahead of her visit, which followed the letter she had written in a haste to assure her siblings that she was well, following the incident at Jane's garden party.
She had done her best to make the letter sound reassuring and promised to see them as soon as she was up and about again — an idea that took a few days to manifest due to Edward hovering over her in concern like a mother hen.
Phoebe hoped that her brother and sister would have been comforted by the letter but judging by the way Anna came barrelling down the front steps before the carriage had even fully stopped, she suspected she had not entirely succeeded.
“Phoebe!” Anna's arms were around her as soon as she had both feet on the gravel, holding on so tightly that Phoebe nearly lost her balance.
“You are here. You are truly here, and you are well, and – oh, I have been so worried, sister. Your letter said you were recovering, but it was not the same as seeing you with my own eyes, and I could not stop imagining all manner of terrible things–”
“Anna.” Phoebe laughed, though it came out slightly breathless from the force of the embrace. “I am here. I am well. Please release me before you crack one of my ribs — or split me in half.”
“You speak as if I am that strong,” her younger sister mumbled as she pulled back just enough to study her face.
It was clear that she was searching for any sign that Phoebe was merely putting on a brave front, the way she so often did. Phoebe simply smiled softly in return and whatever she found seemed to satisfy her, because some of the tightness in her expression eased.
“You look well,” she admitted, somewhat begrudgingly. “Better than well, actually. You have some colour back in your cheeks. This is the best I have seen you in a long while.”
“I told you I would recover,” Phoebe stated, blushing slightly.
“Last time we saw, you had us convinced that you were simply tired and things were fine,” Rowland remarked dryly, appearing in the doorway with his arms folded. “Are we to take your word for what they’re worth or trust them like we did before?”
There was no heat in his tone, but there was something steady and assessing in his gaze as he looked at her – and she recognized the particular expression he wore when he was deciding whether a matter required more from him than he realized.
“Rowland,” Phoebe sighed with a smile. “Good afternoon.”
“Phoebe” He came forward and embraced her as well, briefer than Anna's but no less sincere, and when he drew back, he did not immediately release her shoulders. “You gave us quite a fright.”
“I am sorry for that. Truly.” Phoebe reached up and covered one of his hands with her own. “It was not my intention to cause either of you distress.”
“I am certain it was not,” Rowland said, a worrying crease appearing between his brows.
“But I find myself needing to ask you something, and I would appreciate an honest answer rather than the sort you are inclined to give when you are attempting to deviate attention from the help you actually need.”
Phoebe felt the familiar prickle of unease that always accompanied her brother's particular kind of bluntness. “Ask, then.”
“Is your marriage well, Phoebe? I understand the nature of the arrangement you entered into.
I understood it when you explained what would be required of you, and I understood the reasons you believed it necessary.
But I will not stand by and watch you sacrifice your health, your happiness, or your wellbeing for the sake of an agreement – not for the duke's comfort, not for the dukedom, and not even for what remains of this family's circumstances. If something is wrong between you and Montford, tell me now, and I will see it addressed.”
Something in Phoebe's chest went warm and a little unsteady at the fierce protectiveness in his voice. She had spent so many years being the one who held things together for her siblings that she had nearly forgotten what it felt like to have someone else stand for her, on her behalf.
“Rowland.” She squeezed his hand. “I promise you, there is nothing that requires addressing. Come inside, both of you, and I will tell you everything.”
They settled in the small parlour that only further restated the comfort Phoebe had felt because she was truly home, surrounded by memories of the good and the difficult times she had spent together.
She found herself smiling before she had even begun to speak, simply from the comfort of being back somewhere so familiar.
“Things are well,” she began. “Better than well. Edward and I–” She paused, feeling a flush rise in her cheeks even as she said his given name aloud, still faintly astonished by how natural it felt now.
“We have found our way to each other, in a manner of speaking. It was not easy, and there were weeks I feared it never would happen at all, but he loves me. He told me so, and I believe him with my whole heart, because I have watched him prove it to me every day since.”
Anna made a small, delighted sound and clasped her hands together. “Oh, Phoebe, I am so happy for you. I knew it. I told you there was something between the two of you from the very start, did I not?”
“You did,” Phoebe conceded, with a shy giggle because somehow, she did not expect to be speaking about this to her siblings. “You were quite insistent that I admit my own feelings at least, as I recall.”
“And if that is how things progressed to this point — with you both in love, then I am thankful that I was very insistent.” Anna's grin faded into something softer.
“I am glad, truly. You deserve this. You deserve every good thing that comes to you, sister, after everything you have given up for us.”
Phoebe felt her throat tighten and reached for her sister's hand with a watery smile. Truly, happiness felt the best when it was shared.
“There is something else,” she mentioned, once she had gained some sort of composure. “Something I have not yet told anyone outside the estate.”
Rowland's eyebrows rose slightly, and Anna leaned forward with unconcealed curiosity, both of them seemingly waiting for the news with bated breaths.
“I am with child.”
The air in the room went silent for a moment, and then Anna let out a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a shriek and threw her arms around Phoebe's neck all over again, nearly upending the tea tray in the process.
“A child! Oh, Phoebe, that is wonderful – I am going to be an aunt, can you imagine–”
“I really cannot imagine you being an aunt,” Rowland stated with an expression of disbelief, which softened as he faced Phoebe with a warm smile. “Congratulations, sister. I am happy for you. Truly. I know that you will make an exceptional mother.”
Phoebe had been pondering about it as of late, worried that she might fall short and disappoint Edward somehow during the process of raising their child together. But hearing her brother confidently state his faith in her, she felt hopeful for what was to come.
“Thank you,” Phoebe managed, through the tears filling her eyes once more. “It means the world to me to hear you say so.”
“I still expect,” Rowland added, once Anna had finally released her, “That should the duke ever treat you with anything less than the devotion you deserve, you will inform me at once, and I will not hesitate to make my displeasure known to him directly.”
“I would expect nothing less from you,” Phoebe nodded, her lips pulling into a smile of amusement. “But I do not think that will be necessary. He is a good man, Rowland. He has simply needed time to believe he was allowed to be happy.”
Rowland studied her for a long moment, then nodded once, as though satisfied.
“Then I am glad you found the patience to wait for him to arrive at that belief,” he stated. “Family looks after its own, in whatever manner it can.”
Phoebe thought, not for the first time, that she had been given a family far more precious than she had ever believed she deserved – first in her siblings, and now, impossibly, in the husband she had once thought would never feel anything for her.
“Will you stay the night?” Anna asked, once the initial excitement had settled into something quieter, more contented.
“I have missed simply having you in the house, Phoebe. It is not the same, rattling about these halls with only Rowland for company, and he is a poor choice for decent conversation.”
“I am an excellent conversationalist,” Rowland exclaimed , though the minor ounce of disbelief in his voice was almost unfounded.
“You can hardly say so when you only give me grunts in response whenever I tell you of the things happening amongst my fellow ladies of the ton!” Anna snapped, looking ass though the mere memory of what she had been through sparked irritation through her once more.
“That is the best I can do when I hardly know any of those people and why they do the thing that they do. It is ridiculous!”
Phoebe laughed, the sound coming easily and light.
It struck her, watching her siblings bicker fondly across the parlour, how much had changed in her without her quite noticing the shift.
She no longer flinched from mirrors. She no longer measured her worth by the attention – or lack of it – that strangers paid her scar.
“I will stay,” she told them, once Rowland had calmed down somewhat. “Though I ought to send word to Edward. He worries dreadfully when I am gone longer than expected these days.”
“As he should,” Rowland nodded sagely. “A husband who does not fret over his wife in her condition is a husband not paying proper attention.”
“He pays a great deal of attention,” Phoebe assured him, smiling at the thought of just how much attention Edward had taken to paying her these past few days.