Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Phoebe stirred slowly, her mind still pleasantly foggy with sleep as she rolled from one side to the other.
It was a lot warmer than she was used to and when her eyes fluttered open, she soon discovered why that was, smiling unabashed as her husband pulled her to his chest, burying his lips in her hair.
“Morning,” he mumbled, his deep voice making her shiver slightly.
“Good morning,” she whispered in turn, playfully nipping along the curve of Edward’s jaw.
“Is it bad that I want to remain like this for a while longer? As strange as it sounds, this feels as though we are on our honeymoon,” he sighed, pressing chaste kisses to her forehead and chin.
“I know what you mean,” Phoebe nodded, staring into his deep green eyes.
“I cannot tell you how much I have dreamt of this moment. Simply having what seems like the most mundane occurrence. I wanted the simplicity that came with marriages, no matter how mediocre it might sound. I just wanted to be able to have something more than the restrictions that came with an arranged marriage.”
The confession felt as though she was cutting her chest open, but unlike before, she had no fear or concern over being honest with her husband. She knew that she was in the safest place and position to be as honest as she desired.
Her feelings were validated when he drew her close for a kiss that sent sparks dancing along her spine to her toes. She relished the gentle press of his lips to hers, the way he sweetly leaned back and dove in for another kiss seconds later, how he cupped her cheek tenderly and held her in place.
Phoebe could not think of anywhere else she would rather be then.
“I think... from our first night together, I had wondered what it would be like to see your face, first and foremost. I suspected it would make my morning and I can confirm that it has. I do not believe I would want it any other way, henceforth. I want this – us together from dusk to dawn, time spent learning more about each other and growing together. I want to be the best husband to you and love you like you deserve. I want to give you the world. So, do not hesitate to ask anything of me. Please,” Edward said, his hand on her hip that occasionally dipped to pat her buttocks distracting her slightly from his words.
“You are doing a splendid job already, because you are my world. I want nothing more than your attention and affection – along with the life we will build together. Let us not dwell on the things of the past, but walk towards the future together,” Phoebe told him gently.
“I would love nothing more,” he replied, claiming her lips once more.
Unexpectedly, their morning passed like that, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, stealing kisses and relishing in the new found bliss they had discovered in each other’s company.
“I wonder if we should begin to prepare the nursery,” Edward mused as they had a late breakfast in the sun room.
It had taken them quite a while to get out of bed, and it was even harder than that to keep their hands off each other.
Now that there was no need to pretend that there was no burning need in their veins and their feelings were not only accepted but also encouraged, they felt utterly unrestrained and hungry to learn even more about each other.
“So soon?” Phoebe questioned from her place by his side, attempting to reach for the bowl of fruit.
Edward lifted the bowl and brought it closer to her and she flashed him a smile of gratitude as she plucked out a grape and popped it into her mouth.
“Do you think it is too soon? I believed one can never be too prepared for such an event. We are talking about our child,” he stated, reaching for a crumpet.
“I do not disagree with you, but I feel as though it is still rather early. The child is barely the size of an orange at this time. We have many months to ready ourselves for the hurricane of change it would bring. For now... I would rather focus my efforts on getting to know my husband even more.”
Edward shifted his gaze from the table onto her, his breath catching in his throat as he laid his eyes on his wife.
Phoebe really was... the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
It was still strange for him to wonder how she had felt otherwise, how many had caused her to believe that was not the case.
The early afternoon sun streaming in through the windows cast bright rays of upon her hair that made her look ethereal and every time she smiled, her eyes sparkled beautifully.
He felt foolish, for orchestrating a life other than what they were living in currently and he swore to protect it with everything he had.
“You are right,” he nodded sagely, clearing his throat in a bid to ignore the growing fire in his groin. “I have heard that children are rather all-consuming. As wonderful generally are, it would be wise to focus my efforts on keeping you happy and pleased, while I have you to myself.”
Phoebe giggled as he leaned in to kiss her, smirking as a dark blush spread over her lovely cheeks.
“I am happy,” she sighed contentedly. “More so than I thought was possible. My parents... were everything to me, before they passed. They made every day of our lives feel as though we were living beneath a cloud of blessings. And I feared that I would never again be fortunate to experience such goodness again. And yet, here I am – so incredibly happy, it feels as though I am in a dream that I hope to never wake up from if that is the case.”
Edward reached out to her, gently caressing her cheeks as he murmured,
“This is no dream. I am real – and so are you. Even better than a dream is what we will make of this life we have together. There is much I wish to do with you, Phoebe. I... wasn’t much of an aspirational man.
I focused more on the facts and rules of life, than the potentials and possibilities within it.
I didn’t even believe that I would live to this age and I was scared to hope for more than what I had.
But you... you have lit a fire in me. You have returned my life to me – because I now can see that I was barely living.
And it might sound silly, but I can dream now and all I hope to see when I close my eyes is you.
I gave up so much because I believed it was the best course of action.
I couldn’t fathom the possibility of having more than I already did.
And now... I feel like a king. Phoebe, I cannot thank you enough, for loving me. For saving me.
“I knew my father had not meant to leave my mother behind, but I still thought it cruel that he had anyway. And while the fear of leaving you behind still hovers in my heart, persistent like a troublesome nuisance, I want to focus on the better things I have in my life, and not the possible eventuality of my death. I know that it would not be easy to deal with, but I still want to keep at it regardless. I hope that you will kindly lead me through my darkest days.”
Phoebe stared at him intently, before she moved closer and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. Instinctively, Edward wrapped his arms around her and focused his mind on the presence of her body against his.
It was almost funny, how a simply hug was flooding his senses with many different emotions that he could hardly fathom two days ago.
“We are partners, Edward,” she said after a little bit. “Together, we will navigate our difficult days and enjoy the good ones. You do not have to be afraid, Edward. I will never abandon you to face any hardship by yourself.”
She pressed a kiss to his jaw, smiling when he tilted his head downwards and kissed her lips, once, twice, soft and chaste.
“Neither will I,” he promised in turn.
And he knew they would do everything in their power to uphold their word.
“You are in a rather good mood today,” Barbara remarked with suspicion in her gaze. “That does not bode well for me.”
Edward chuckled, picking up the tea pot to pour his aunt a cup of tea. He always preferred to serve her himself, unable to keep himself from wanting to cater to her needs.
He had begun to experience a stronger desire for that when it came to Phoebe. He grew restless when he did not know how she felt and only her satisfaction would bring him ease. It was remarkable, how much he cared about and for her, even more so that he enjoyed catering to her every whim.
“Perhaps I am simply attempting to share my good mood with my favourite aunt,” he teased as he filled his own tea cup as well.
Barbara’s gaze narrowed. “Somehow, that is even worse. And I am certain that I am your only aunt.”
“I could have hundreds, and still, you would be the only one I adored endlessly,” he grinned, unrestrained.
Barbara made a face that portrayed irritation, but he could tell by the light in her eyes and the smile on her lips that she was secretly pleased.
“Are you going to tell me the reason why you are here interrupting my perfectly peaceful day? And where is that wonderfully charming wife of yours? I am somewhat perturbed that you believed I would be more interested in your company than hers,” Barbara said as she raised her cup to her lips.
“Can a man not simply wish to visit his relative with the intention of checking on their well-being?”
“A man could, but not a rather occasionally fearsome terror like you, dear.”
Edward laughed, pleased when Barbara joined him with soft chuckles of her own. When the noise of their laughter died down and a comfortable silence filled the air, he told her,
“We’re having a child, Phoebe and I.”
Her eyes widened and for a moment, she simply stared at him, speechless. Then she shook her head, leaning back in her seat.
“I suppose congratulations are in order, then.”
Edward nodded. “We are both excited, and a tad nervous, as well. But aside from that... I worry that this might be the one task I am not qualified for. I know that I held onto the resolve of having a child as soon as I could and I was intent on doing things my way – which might have ended up with me leaving the child’s upbringing to the duchess, solely.
However, things have changed. I have changed and I want to be involved in any and all the ways that I can be.
It is easier said than done, though, as I can barely remember much about my father, other than his sickly expressions.
I know he was a good man. I know that he was loved dearly.
But I need to know more. I need to understand what made him a good father – because...
I think he was. I might have been upset that he passed and left mother and I behind – and no matter how much I understand and acknowledge that it was not his fault, I still cannot feel as though it was unfair, still.
Nothing I say or think will change what happened, but I do believe he was a great man.
And I want to know if I have any chance of becoming a man he would have been proud of. ”
Barbara sighed and stirred her tea, watching as the liquid swirled round and round in the cup. Her silence might have unnerved some, but Edward knew she was merely pondering how best to respond to him. And he knew her well enough to be patient.
After a few minutes, she spoke,
“My brother was as stubborn as a mule. Even with his weak constitution, he was determined to live his life to the fullest. Our mother was always found wailing each time he climbed a tree or wandered too far from the house in search of excitement.
He was always apologetic, and ever so consistent in his ways.
He was immensely brave and strong, despite the shortcomings our father hoped he would outgrow.
He wanted to be more than his weakness and I dare say, he did accomplish nearly everything he wanted to do.
The only thing he might have been unable to witness was you growing into the fine man you are now.
He had such high hopes for you and I can safely say that he would be so proud of who you are now.
He might be concerned, by your previous refusal of any form of attachment, but I can see by the excitement in your eyes that you have changed your mind.
“There are no rules to this sort of thing – parenting, marriage, and the like. I think that as long as everyone does their best and handles their part efficiently, they will be able to yield even better results than they expect. And I believe that you are already on the right path to the best possible outcome. You should trust yourself more. You and your father are so alike in the sense that you were always seemingly eager to do more than you have to. You both worry needlessly, and you both easily assume the worst scenario possible. You have already gotten this far and you have a wife with a sound head on her shoulders. Allow yourself to rely on her. I watched you take on daunting responsibilities as a very young man and you have never once complained or tried to avoid your duties. You have come so far and as such, you have earned the right to lean on others. It takes a village to raise a child. No matter what happens, you have my support, and the support of those around you.”
Edward felt his heart grow calm as his aunt’s words washed over him in a soothing manner. He had known she was the only one who would understand his dilemma and was glad he had taken the initiative to come and see her as soon as he could.
She understood his plight better than he thought she would, but he was all the more grateful for it, despite her not so sly attempts to subtly ridicule him.
“And that is why you would be my favourite aunt in any reality,” he smiled sincerely.
Barbara scoffed and pointed at her cup, speaking as he refilled it,
“You are welcome, you miscreant. Bring your wife with you next time you visit. She is far more entertaining than you are.”
Edward nodded sagely, feeling utterly proud for some reason as he said,
“I most certainly will.”