Chapter Eight
The old Clarissa would run away to her sewing room and lock herself inside until she was able to deal with what happened.
That was the old Clarissa, the one who didn’t want to deal with conflict. She wasn’t the same person. In that moment, she realized she had changed in a very short amount of time, because Lorenzo had proven he wasn’t an asshole. At least, prior to this moment, he had proven he wasn’t an asshole.
There was no way he could have gone far, seeing as his clothes were still on the floor. He might be comfortable walking around their heavily guarded home completely naked, but she had some reservations.
Securing a robe, she wrapped it around herself and tied the belt before making her way out of her bedroom. She heard the sound of glass, and she knew exactly where he had gone—his office—it was where he went whenever he was in a mood.
Clarissa went to the office, and sure enough, there he stood, complete with a glass of whiskey in his hand, and he looked like he’d just received the worst news in the world.
“Do you want to tell me what I’ve done that is so bad?”
This is completely out of character for her.
Is it? Really?
She couldn’t help but imagine her sister’s voice.
For a second, Clarissa just stood there, looking across at her husband, as she thought about how pissed off her sister would be at the life she’d lived.
The fact she would lock herself away and refuse to speak.
She became a shell of her former self. She allowed herself to be controlled and manipulated.
Lorenzo turned to look at her, and she noticed his cock had lost its arousal. He was flaccid.
“This is not about you. You can go and do whatever you want. I’ll see you in a bit.”
The old Clarissa would turn on her heel, go and sulk back into her sewing room, and not give this another thought.
That was the Clarissa that didn’t want to make waves or be a nuisance.
The same woman who was afraid of losing everything.
Clarissa knew what it was like to lose everything, and she also knew what it was like to be pushed aside by Lorenzo, as well as treated like a friend.
She was not going to allow herself to be pushed into a corner.
“No,” Clarissa said. “Giving me an orgasm pushes you to drink, is that it?”
She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. Inside, there was a part of her telling her to go back to her sewing room, because this was not her place. She needed to retreat.
Lorenzo turned toward her, and she saw she’d surprised him.
If he hurt her, she would need to know that now. Although, he had never so much as raised a fist to her.
“What?” he asked.
“You give me my very first orgasm, which is what I assume I just experienced besides you telling me, and now you’re drinking. I think it is a fair assessment to say my arousal pushes you to drink?” she asked.
Her heart raced. It was the first time she had stood up to fight for herself, and she squared her shoulders and looked right at him.
“Why are you angry?” he asked.
Was he expecting her to step down? To not take him to task about what happened. She was not going to back down. Not now, not ever. She glared at him.
“You left. You gave me an orgasm and just left. Is that how it is going to be? Unless you get an orgasm, that is it, end of discussion?” she asked.
He looked shocked.
“You want more?”
“I don’t want you to run away and just leave me like that. You’ve made me feel like I’ve done something wrong. Did I do something wrong?”
He cupped her face and pressed his head against hers. Clarissa put her hands on top of him, not knowing what to do, she felt so lost. She closed her eyes, trying to make sense of what had happened between them. Nothing made sense to her.
“You did absolutely nothing wrong. I did. I’m the fuckup.”
“What?”
“I’m the one with the experience here. I’m the one that should have known what to do. Our wedding night was a complete and total disaster.” He shook his head, and Clarissa didn’t let go, even as he went to pull away.
“What about now?” she asked. “Our wedding night feels so long ago, what caused you to pull away now? Today? Tonight?”
“I’m not good enough for you, Clarissa. The way you came apart in my arms, it was the first real orgasm I’d given you—”
“And now you want to give up?” Clarissa asked.
He stopped and frowned.
“Do you have any idea how amazing that was?” she asked.
“I’ve never felt any of those things with anyone.
I ... words can’t even begin to describe just how amazing that was.
” She offered him a smile. “You don’t see me running away, and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing here.
Remember, you weren’t supposed to marry me. ”
“Stop that,” he said.
“I don’t give a fuck who or what I was supposed to marry. You’re mine, Clarissa. Mine for the rest of our lives.”
She stroked her hands down to his chest, and she didn’t know when or how she felt so bold, but she went onto her tiptoes and pressed a single kiss to his lips. It was just one kiss. Just a small taste of what they could eventually have. She pulled back and smiled up at him.
“Then how about we actually attempt to see where this could go?” she asked. “You’re here naked.”
“And you’re wearing too many clothes.”
Clarissa loosened the belt of her robe and let it fall to the floor, so he had nothing to argue with. Now, she stood before him completely naked, with nothing holding her back.
“Now I’m not wearing any clothes.” Even though her heart was thumping, she moved closer, put her hands on his chest, and slowly slid them up until they circled his neck.
“You’re driving me crazy, you know that, right?” he asked. “I’m trying to do the right thing and give you space and time.”
“I’ve had space and time, and I don’t think that is what we need anymore.” She put her hands at his waist and moved in a little closer, offering him a smile so he would relax.
“What do you think we need?” he asked.
“This.” She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his chest. She slowed her actions as she moved. “And a little more of this.” And she kissed across his chest toward his nipple and gave it a little nip. With her other hands, she delved down to grab his buttocks, and she felt the heat in her cheeks.
“And you’re going to have to teach me what else you want, because I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Fuck me, do you have any idea how sexy that sounds?”
“You like the idea of teaching me, Lorenzo?”
He stroked his fingers down her cheek. “I’ll teach you, but you’ve got to promise me, if at any time I hurt you, or there is something happening here that you don’t like, you stop me. You don’t put up with it and do whatever shit your parents told you to do. Got it?”
“I’ve got it.”
She smiled up at him, and it was strange, but she actually felt like they were making progress.
****
Lorenzo lifted Clarissa in his arms, carried her out of his office, and took her back upstairs. Only, he didn’t go to her room, but he took her to the room they’re supposed to share and placed her on the bed.
Staring down into her eyes, she reached up and cupped her cheek. It meant so much to him that she reached out to him, that she actually came looking for him.
Closing that distance between them, he kissed her, and with his other hand, he slowly stroked the tips of his fingers down her body.
He grazed across her nipple, then slid down, going toward her pussy, but he didn’t touch her.
He only wanted to heighten her pleasure.
He didn’t intend to have sex with her tonight. That was going to come later.
She needed to learn to trust him again. He wanted to give her endless pleasure.
Breaking from the kiss on her lips, he started to move down, going toward her tits, and he flicked each nipple with his tongue, before sucking it into his mouth.
She cried out and arched up. He made sure not to cause any pain.
The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
He just wanted to show her how good it could be between them. He’d already screwed up enough.
The truth was, he didn’t know how to be a husband, or a lover, or a boyfriend. He knew how to kill people and make people afraid. Clarissa wasn’t a person he wanted to have afraid of him.
Moving between each beaded nipple, he started to travel down, going toward her pussy, and he spread the lips of her sex open and took her clit into his mouth, tasting her. He circled her clit, then slid down, going toward her entrance, and started to thrust inside her.
She cried out, moaning, and he took her clit into his mouth, biting down.
Pulling away, he went back to her entrance and started to thrust his tongue within her.
He wanted to bring her closer to the brink, to take her right over the edge, and he pulled back, going toward her clit and suckling on it.
He felt the difference within her, and he didn’t stop, bringing her closer and higher toward that peak.
Once again, he listened to the soft sounds of her release as she came apart.
He didn’t stop until she couldn’t take any more, then he pulled back and moved up so he could look into her pretty eyes.
Clarissa really was a beautiful woman and he didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky.
He stared into her eyes, and if there had ever been any doubt, there was none right now.
He was in love with this woman. It’s why he’d never strayed and why he kept trying to make this work. He’d nearly fucked up big time
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“You’re not ready to know.” He cupped her face. And then he felt the tips of her fingers on his thigh, and he stared at her a little amazed.
“I want to make you feel good,” she said.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“You’ve given me two orgasms tonight, and I want to give you one. Don’t you want me to?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he didn’t need her to.
Instead, he took her hand and placed it over his raging cock.
He was so hard, and all he wanted to do was push her to the bed, spread her thighs, and plunge hard and deep inside her.
He held himself in check. He was going to take his time with her.
Lorenzo guided her hand to where she needed to be, and he stared into her, not looking away, just knowing this is where he wanted to be.
“Tell me what you like,” Clarissa asked.
He wrapped his fingers around hers and showed her exactly how he liked it. Each touch set him on fire for more. He was already close to losing himself, but he gritted his teeth and held on, trying to make it last.
It had been too long, and now, with Clarissa’s hands on him, he knew he wasn’t going to last.
Staring into her beautiful eyes, he came apart, moaning her name as he sunk into the abyss, and there was nowhere else he wanted to be.