Chapter 1 #2
Gary ran a hand through his short brown hair with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Lara. We’re sorry. But with Maggie getting bigger, we’ve got less and less to spare.”
“Gary, please. Just…just think about it.” She rose on the toes of her boots to peer over his shoulder. “Can I talk to Kate?”
“No. Maggie’s sleeping right now. Please, don’t make this any harder. We want to help you, we really do, but we have to consider our chi—”
Lara shoved past him. He stumbled aside, stammering as she entered the small living space. She hated intruding like this, knew it was wrong, but the twisting, sinking feeling in her gut had her on the verge of panic.
“Kate, please, don’t—”
Lara stilled. Kate stood at the back of the shack with a worn, faded dress hanging from her tiny frame. Her brown eyes were wide as she stared at Lara, and she held her arms over her rounded stomach as though to hide it.
“Kate…” Lara breathed.
Everyone knew the rule—one child per human couple.
Gary swore, dragged the door back into place, and moved in front of Lara. He grasped her arms with strong, rough fingers, and bent down to her eye level.
“No one can know, Lara,” he rasped. “No one!”
Heart hammering, she shook her head. “I-I’d never tell anyone.”
“Mommy?” Maggie’s groggy little voice called from the back room.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” Kate said quietly. “Stay in bed. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Lara stared at Kate’s belly as the woman approached. “How…are you going to keep this secret?”
“We don’t know.”
Gary swallowed, throat bobbing, and released Lara.
“It’s getting harder to conceal, and we aren’t earning as much with me having to stay hidden. Maggie doesn’t even know, but she’s been asking questions.” Kate grasped Gary’s hand. “We can’t let the gearheads find out, but we have nowhere else to go.”
“We couldn’t tell anyone, not even you,” Gary said, his frown making the lines on his face harsher. “Kate and the baby need all they can get. We can’t spare anything more, not even in trade.”
Lara studied Kate and knew he was right; the dark circles under her eyes were in stark contrast to her pale skin, and her cheeks were hollow.
Gary dropped his gaze to the floor. “We’re sorry, Lara. We wish we could, but…”
“I know,” Lara said, nodding. “I understand.”
She was numb as Gary released Kate’s hand and slid opened the door. Two times in as many months, Lara’s world was falling apart.
Passing through the doorway, she paused and turned to look at Gary and Kate. They’d helped Lara in her time of need, selflessly, and likely at great cost to their little family. It was more than anyone else would’ve done. More than they should have done.
Lara held the pitcher out to Gary. “Here.”
His thick eyebrows rose. “No. We can’t accept that.”
Behind him, Kate covered her mouth with her hand.
“Please, just take it.” Lara’s grip tightened on the handle. There were at least a dozen other people on the street who were likely to trade food for the container, but who needed it more than these two? “As a thank you. For all you’ve both done for me.”
Kate’s eyes watered as Gary hesitantly accepted the pitcher. Lara ignored her pang of regret as she released it, busying her hands by drawing the strap of her bag over her shoulder and tugging the cloth back over her mouth and nose. “Be safe.”
“And you,” Kate said, voice thick.
Lara walked away, feeling oddly heavy despite her empty hands.
Her home wasn’t far from Gary and Kate’s, positioned on the northern edge of the human slums. Only a wide dirt and gravel road with long, rusted rails jutting from it like the bones of a forgotten world and the wall bordering it separated her from the bot district, where bright white electric lights were already turning on.
If they’d had the means, she would’ve convinced Tabitha to move as far away from the wall as possible a long time ago.
Would’ve convinced her to move as far away from Cheyenne as possible.
But they’d barely had enough to survive right here. They’d never stockpile the extra food necessary to make the journey to another settlement, especially since they had no idea where the nearest town was.
Like all the others, Lara’s shack was constructed of various materials.
The base was brick, scavenged from a building that had collapsed nearby when Lara was young.
The wood boards that formed the walls had come from the same place.
It was topped with a piece of sheet metal.
She’d always enjoyed the pattering of rain and sand on the roof during storms.
The chime hanging near the entrance jingled in the wind.
She’d used thin but durable lines—fishing line, Tabitha had said, though Lara didn’t know of any fish nearby—to hang a mismatched collection of spoons, forks, knives, and keys from a metal ring.
The music they created was random, but there was nothing else like it in the settlement.
She was surprised they hadn’t been stolen for scrap; it was likely because no one wanted to be in the wall’s shadow for long.
She slid the door aside and entered, tossing her bag onto her pallet. She left a wide gap when she closed the door. A bit more airflow would help release some of the pent-up heat.
Removing her head wrap, she dropped it into a pile of spare cloth and moaned at the feel of cool air on her skin.
She pulled the pin from her hair and let her long braid fall free.
Working her hair loose, she ran her fingers through the strands, closing her eyes as she massaged her scalp.
Dirt had worked its way in despite her coverings.
If water weren’t so precious, she would’ve rinsed her hair out.
What I wouldn’t give to fully submerge myself in a giant bucket...
Inhaling deeply, Lara opened her eyes and lowered her hands.
She walked across the small room, unfolded the sash at her waist, and removed the porcelain shard and her beat-up metal lighter.
The latter was one of her most valuable items, one she refused to trade.
Fuel wasn’t easy to come by, but having easy access to fire had saved Lara and Tabitha more than once during the frigid winters.
Lighter in hand, she moved to her lantern.
After a few attempts, the lighter sparked to flame, and she lit the wick, driving back the shadows that had been thickening within the shack with its gentle orange glow.
The simple lantern, consisting of a small glass container with some oil and a wick through the lid, was one of her only luxuries.
She probably used it too often, but it burned slowly and kept her from being alone in the darkness.
Returning the lighter to its place, she studied the porcelain shard again, turning it over in her hand.
She traced the design with her fingertip, marveling at the way the looping lines came together to create something so beautiful.
What purpose did it serve? Like so many of the remnants of the old world she’d found, the decoration had no practical use, couldn’t have aided in the item’s function.
Yet for some reason, such items spoke to her. She knew they were frivolous, a waste of time and energy to collect. But Lara couldn’t resist.
She placed the shard on the uppermost shelf of her little case, amidst the other pointless trinkets she’d gathered over the years—all items that weren’t worth anyone’s time to steal. They were pleasing to her eye, and that was enough.
Turning away from her treasures, she looked upon the rest of her home. There was the pathetic pallet upon which she slept, and the wooden crate beside it containing her few articles of clothing. Hunger reintroduced itself, gnawing at her gut, but there was no food to be found here.
Even the hollowness of her stomach wasn’t enough to distract Lara from the true emptiness inside her.
She was alone.
Tabitha was her only friend, her only family. Her big sister, her mother, her best friend. Tabitha had guided Lara, taught her, comforted her. And now…
Now, there was no one.
She had nothing.
With a cry of frustration, she sat down on the sturdy crate and yanked off her worn boots.
Rising, she lifted the crate, stuffed her boots beneath it, and slammed it back down.
For a long while, she sat hunched over, breathing heavily as she picked at the wooden planks with her fingernails.
Her body shook with the effort of keeping her tears at bay.
Crying couldn’t help anything. It certainly wouldn’t earn her any food.
From outside, the soft sounds of the chime rose above the constant drone of the wind. Lara’s muscles eased as the music chased away her sorrow and frustration. Anger wouldn’t help any more than tears.
She closed her eyes and listened to the music, conjuring a melody in her mind. Her body swayed with the notes. She couldn’t ease her hunger, but she could free her thoughts for a little while.
Lara hummed, the sound filling her chest and lifting her heart. Standing, she raised her arms, slid her fingers into her hair, and swayed her hips in time with the beat in her head, letting the music take her away. Letting herself forget.
She stepped forward blindly, knowing in her heart exactly where everything lay inside the shack. The cloth of her skirt brushed her legs, twisting and flaring with her movements. Night air swept in through the doorway, caressing her flushed cheeks in a brisk, fleeting kiss.
Lara danced, not once opening her eyes for fear that doing so would tear her from her dreams and drag back into a world of hunger, depravity, and dust.