Chapter 43
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
She floated in darkness. It devoured her, suffused her, pulsing within and around her, it filled her bones with ice, wracked her with pain, and clawed at her consciousness. She longed to cry out, but she had no mouth, no lungs. There was nothing but agony and the endless void.
Until a voice penetrated the blackness.
Don’t leave yet.
Warmth bloomed through her, chasing away the cold for a fleeting moment.
She knew that voice. It was her only source of comfort, a shining beacon, the one solid thing to clutch at in this vast nothingness.
When it spoke, shimmering blue flickered through the darkness, like the rolling waves of an ocean she’d never seen.
But the voice and its light were gone so quickly it might never have existed at all.
The pain came roaring back, and she suffered alone.
There were other voices, distant, muffled, and unfamiliar, and she shrank from them. They came often, sometimes alone, sometimes in groups. They weren’t what she wanted to hear. Weren’t what she needed.
Time had no meaning. She didn’t have a name, didn’t have a memory, but she had that voice to cling to. That voice to anchor her, to keep her from spiraling into oblivion. It was the only thing to ease her pain, the only thing to anticipate.
Don’t leave yet.
She didn’t want to leave him. Not yet. Not even when the pain reached its worst, and the other voices grew louder while the darkness thickened.
Him? Yes, she knew that voice. She knew him…
Don’t leave yet.
The words echoed through the void, and she grasped at them. She didn’t want to be taken away, she refused to be.
Don’t…leave me.
Opening her eyes was the hardest thing Lara had ever done, but she forced her leaden eyelids up and stared through blurred vision at a blinding white light above her.
To her right, something beeped slowly and rhythmically.
As she blinked, the room gradually came into focus, but the shapes didn’t make sense.
Those unfamiliar voices were clear now.
“How long is this going to take?” a man asked from nearby.
“I can’t say for sure,” a woman replied. “She’ll wake up when her mind and body are ready.”
“It’s been three days, and she hasn’t so much as wiggled a finger.”
Focusing all her will through her confusion and pain, Lara twitched a finger.
“We can’t just force her to wake up, Dave. That’s not how it works.”
“She might never wake up at all, Nancy.”
“That’s a possibility. But I’m not—”
“Every moment we keep her here is a drain on our resources. Those machines draw power from a limited pool, and nobody’s making new medical supplies anymore. She’s an outsider, and she’s taking up the time of our medical staff.”
“She’s used hardly anything so far, and she’s a human being. Isn’t a life still worth more than a few plastic tubes and bit of my time?” Nancy demanded quietly.
“And if she never comes out of it? The cost only adds up as the days go by. She’s going to need to be fed, and that’ll cause more complications. We can’t let this go on indefinitely.”
“That’s not your call to make, Dave. And you’re stupid if you think her companion will let you cut her off.”
“He couldn’t lay a hand on me,” Dave said uncertainly.
“You think rules will stop him?”
Who were they?
Where am I?
Lara blinked again and dragged her gaze around the room. The glaring light had dissolved into solid objects in varied shades of white—the ceiling, the hanging cloths, the wall, the sheet draped over her body. No real place could be so pure, so clean.
The beeping picked up speed and volume.
She parted her dry lips, wincing as they split, and tasted blood when she slid her tongue out to wet them.
Her left arm was wrapped tight in a sling that looped around her neck.
She tried to move it, but she was stopped by a bone-deep ache radiating up to her shoulder and down to the tips of her fingers.
Lara lifted her right hand instead, only for something to tug at it, producing a sharp pain in the back of her hand.
Turning her head, she ran her gaze along the tubes and wires that connected her hand to the equipment beside the bed.
What the fuck?
“She’s awake,” Nancy said breathlessly. “Go get Ronin!”
People crowded around the bed, their features obscured by shadows as their bodies blocked the light. They all spoke at once, rapidly, using words Lara didn’t understand.
Her heart quickened. The beeping gained speed along with it, and Lara’s chest hurt, her every breath more labored than the last. She lifted her right hand again, moving it closer to her left. She needed to pull the foreign things from her body, needed to get away from these people, needed air…
“Hold her down, before she hurts herself!”
Hands fell upon Lara and pressed her down on the bed. She cried out.
“Lara,” Nancy said, “please remain calm. My name is—oh, no, don’t!”
Lara yanked her arm. There was a moment of resistance, another flare of sharp pain, and then the wires tore free. The beeping became a monotone, ceaseless drone.
She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs were on fire.
The hands closed around her arms and legs, dragging her down. Lara struggled against them. Agony swept through her body, and fear permeated her very soul.
Warlord stood above her, fist swinging toward her face, raining blow after blow after blow.
Lara screamed. She thrashed, battling the strangers’ holds.
They’d deactivated Ronin, had taken him from her, and Warlord kept hitting her, over and over, and the pain wouldn’t end. Her throat was raw from her screams, but the hands wouldn’t relent.
“Lara, I’m Nancy, I’ve been—”
Lara’s right arm escaped their hold, and she swung her fist. The blow struck Nancy, who cried out and flinched, blood oozing from her lip. More hands clamped around Lara’s forearm and forced it down.
No! I need to get to Ronin!
“Are you okay?” someone asked.
Nancy didn’t pause to wipe the crimson from her mouth. “I’m fine. We need to calm her down before she hurts herself.”
“What’s happening? Lara?”
Lara stilled at the sound of that voice. Eyes wide, she turned her head to look between the strangers, catching sight of Ronin as he approached.
He’s here. He’s alive!
Tears filled her eyes. She wanted to leap at him, to throw her arms around him, but even if she weren’t restrained, she wasn’t sure she had the strength.
All Lara’s tension and fear fled her as his name escaped her lips in a broken whisper. “Ronin.”
The strangers shifted aside. Ronin fell onto his knees beside the bed and cradled her cheeks between his hands, spreading warmth through her face. His beautiful, intense green eyes locked with hers. “I’m here, Lara. You’re safe.”
The restraining hands lifted away. Pulses of agony flowed through Lara’s exhausted body, but she ignored them. Ronin was here with her. That was all that mattered.
“I need to see her arm,” Nancy said.
Ronin gently stroked Lara’s cheeks with his thumbs, wiping away the slowly falling tears. “Be calm. No one here means you harm, and I won’t leave you.”
He eased aside to allow Nancy access without breaking contact with Lara.
Nancy curled her cool fingers around Lara’s wrist, turning it to examine the open wound left on her hand by the wires.
Lara stared up into Ronin’s eyes, chest swelling with so many confused, powerful emotions. It was only because of his steadiness that she remained still as Nancy softly prodded her hand.
“Where are we? Where’s Warlord?” she rasped.
Ronin smoothed back the stray strands of her hair. “We’re safe. Trust me on that.”
After bandaging Lara’s bleeding hand, Nancy turned to the other strangers and ushered them out of the little space. “We’ll be fine. Let’s not overwhelm her further.”
She drew the curtain closed behind the last of the strangers and returned to Lara’s bed.
“Look at me,” Ronin said, calling Lara’s gaze back to him. “These people are helping you.”
Lara frowned, and her brow furrowed. “Where are we, Ronin?”
His fingers trailed soothingly along her hairline. “Somewhere safe. I’ll explain it all later.”
Nancy held out a tiny cup. “Lara, I’d like you to drink this. It will help with the pain.”
Lara looked from the dark-haired woman to the cup. When she glanced back at Ronin, he nodded. Whoever Nancy was, Ronin trusted her, and that would have to be enough for now.
She took the cup and stared down at the reddish-brown liquid inside. It had a strange odor, not unlike the booze at Kitty’s, but something was off about it. Her instincts said not to drink it.
“Best to swallow it quickly,” Nancy said, offering a reassuring smile.
Raising the cup to her lips, Lara hesitated before pouring it into her mouth and swallowing.
It burned like fire going down her throat. The flavor of the alcohol fled quickly, overpowered by a bitter aftertaste worse than anything she’d ever had. She winced, shuddering as the bitter taste strengthened, then coughed. Agony exploded through her chest.
“What the hell was that?” she demanded through clenched teeth, taking shallow breaths. Anything deeper sharpened the pain in her side.
Nancy took the empty cup from her. “Laudanum, or as close to it as we can manage. Our options for pain management are limited, but most people say the relief is worth the taste, once it kicks in.” She settled a soft hand on Lara’s shoulder.
“Get some rest. You’ve been through a lot, but the worst is over.
I won’t lie and tell you it’s going to be a comfortable or pleasant process, but all you have to do now is heal. I’ll check on you a little later.”
Nancy walked away, slipping through the curtain.
“It hurts so much,” Lara whispered, touching her side.
The bed creaked as Ronin sat on the edge, placing his hand over Lara’s. He brushed the fingertips of his other hand over her cheek to tuck the loose strands of her hair behind her ear. “I thought I was going to lose you, Lara Brooks.”
Lara met his gaze. She’d never seen such anguish in it. Turning her hand over, she laced her fingers with his. Her memory of what had happened was unclear, but she’d heard gunshots, had watched the light fade from his eyes when the gearheads pulled his power cell, had seen the life drain from him.
“I did lose you,” she said, voice hoarse as her throat tightened and more tears welled in her eyes.
His smile was tinged with sorrow, but genuine. “Now I understand helplessness and fear.”
The tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.” He wiped away the moisture with his thumbs. “Rest. I’ll be here when you wake again, and I’ll tell you everything.”
Though she longed to stay awake, to stare at him and touch him and hear his voice, the laudanum was taking effect. The aches that wracked her body dulled, and the edges of her consciousness grew fuzzy. The bedding dipped, and Ronin’s warmth enveloped her as he lay down beside her.
Sleep claimed Lara.