Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
“What’s wrong?” Ronin asked.
Lara dropped her spoon into the bowl he was holding and looked up at him.
She’d spent the last four days in constant discomfort and pain.
The drowsiness and disorientation caused by the laudanum had lingered a long while after she’d awoken, and she’d refused more when Nancy offered.
She wanted to remain awake and alert. She wanted to feel it all, because no matter how unpleasant, it meant she was alive and healing.
“Why didn’t Warlord kill me?” she asked.
A crease formed between Ronin’s brows. “As far as he was concerned, he did.”
“He hunted us down like animals. Why not finish it? He…” Her throat constricted. “He killed Tabitha. Why not me, too?”
“What he did to Tabitha was meant as an example to everyone in Cheyenne. She suffered, but death was the point. With us, he was only concerned with inflicting suffering. There was no one around to witness it, and no one from Cheyenne would ever find us out there. He wanted us broken, wanted you to die slowly and in agony, all alone.”
Four quick gunshots rang out in her memory. While Warlord had beaten her, the twenty feet that had lain between her and Ronin’s deactivated body might as well have been a thousand miles. If it hadn’t been for Newton and the spare power cells in the shelter, she would’ve died in the Dust.
“What did Warlord do to her?” Lara asked quietly. “What example did he make?”
He was silent, eyes dropping.
“Ronin. I deserve to know.”
His silence persisted, and when he finally spoke, his words were heavy with sorrow and regret.
“They beat her to death. Her body was covered in bruises, her facial bones were shattered, and blood matted her hair. But brutality wasn’t enough.
They chose to desecrate the remains. They dismantled her synth companion, laid his face over her groin, and put his detached penis in her mouth. ”
She grabbed his wrist, drawing his gaze back to hers.
The sudden movement sent stabbing pain through her side.
Despite the bindings around her chest, her ribs still hurt like a son of a bitch.
But it was nothing compared to the pain in her heart.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Ronin? Why did you bring me to the bot district in the first place? ”
“I didn’t know, Lara. Didn’t know depraved he is, how irrational, how mercurial and cruel.
Even when I found Tabitha, I didn’t truly understand his nature.
And her death affected you deeply… That’s why I didn’t tell you the details.
I didn’t want to heap more pain atop your grief.
I didn’t think it would’ve helped, but I’m sorry I chose without consulting you. ”
He’d been trying to spare her more pain, trying to prevent her from collapsing beneath the weight of loss. Even if she didn’t appreciate him keeping information from her, she couldn’t fault his motivation for having done so.
She’d been close enough to crumbling without knowing the gruesome way her sister had been murdered.
“Apology accepted. But Ronin…” She sighed and massaged her throbbing temples with her forefinger and thumb. Her heart was thumping in her chest, and whispers of the terror she’d felt during the ambush brushed along the edges of her mind. “Warlord could have killed you.”
“Takes more than a change of batteries to keep me down.”
Despite the nature of their conversation, Lara had to stifle a laugh; it would’ve hurt too much thanks to her fractured ribs. She shook her head and lowered her hand to her lap. “I can’t believe you choose now to joke.”
“You’re alive and recovering. What better a time for smiles?”
“Even smiling hurts.” Lara’s faint smile fell as she turned her face from Ronin. “Bet I look like shit.”
She recalled her appearance after her first encounter with Warlord.
After he’d raped and beaten her. She’d stared at herself in Tabitha’s little mirror for a long time, and she hadn’t recognized the person staring back.
Her flesh had been discolored by bruises, her eyes and lips had been swollen, and she’d sported several nasty scabs where her skin had been broken.
Based on the tenderness and aches she felt now, she had to look even worse.
“You don’t look nearly as bad as I did after I blew up.” Ronin took gentle hold of Lara’s chin and guided her face back toward him, forcing her eyes to meet his. “And you’re always beautiful to me, Lara.”
“You always say the nicest things,” she said thickly, her eyes stinging with tears. “You’re gonna make me leak again.”
Ronin stroked her jaw with his thumb before releasing her. “Don’t cry.” He nodded to the bowl. “Eat, Lara.”
Carefully, she raised a spoonful of soup to her mouth and sipped it off. Even that simple act was agonizing. The soup was already cool, but still flavorful—an assortment of vegetables in a spiced broth.
“Why did you have to wake while I was gone?” Ronin asked after she ate a few more mouthfuls. “Every moment I wasn’t being questioned by the leadership, I was here with you, waiting for you to open your eyes.”
Lara paused, spoon hovering with soup dripping off it, as she met Ronin’s gaze.
Despite their electronic nature, his eyes held so much emotion as they stared back at her.
She could only imagine the devastation he must’ve felt while she’d been unconscious, lingering on the brink of death, but she was intimately familiar with the helplessness he must’ve experienced along with it.
She knew what it was like to feel powerless to help someone you loved. She’d wallowed in it both times he'd left her alone to go scavenge, and it had swallowed her up when he’d dragged himself home, scorched and damaged beyond recognition.
“Ronin…” Setting the spoon down, she took his hand in hers and guided it to her cheek.
“I remember your voice. Don’t leave yet.
I focused on those words, and I held on because of them.
You also asked me not to leave you. I didn’t want to.
I didn’t want you to leave me either. I…
felt your presence when you were near. I don’t know how, but I knew it was you with me. And every time you left…I felt so cold.
“When I woke up, there were people arguing. Nancy and a man… Dan, or Dave, I think.”
“Arguing?”
“Yeah. They were fighting about me taking up too many resources, and whether I’d wake up or not.”
Ronin frowned deeply, and his eyebrows sank low. “It’s a rational argument for them to make. They have limited supplies, just like everyone else. But when it comes to talk of letting you die, rationality can go fuck itself. I wouldn’t have let them.”
Lara smiled and lightly kissed his palm. “I know. Nancy pretty much told him that, too.”
Placing the bowl on the bedside stand, he leaned forward, slipped his hands into her hair to cup the back of her head, and pressed his mouth to hers.
A shiver stole through her. The kiss was slow, tender, his mouth caressing hers with a dreamlike intimacy that made her feel weak.
Lashes drifting closed, Lara succumbed to him, her own lips parting to allow him to deepen the kiss, uncaring of the sting it caused.
Because she needed him. She needed this, this assurance that they were still alive, that he wanted her.
There was more to the kiss than intimacy. There was desperation in it. She felt it in the pressure of his fingers, in the strength of his hold, in the tenseness of his body. Ronin was holding himself back.
The curtain flapped.
“How is our patient today?” Nancy asked.
Lara opened her eyes, and Ronin broke the kiss, releasing her as he eased back in his chair.
Cheeks warm and lips tingling from the kiss, she looked at the woman. “Alive, sore, and ready to get the hell out of this bed.”
Not looking forward to the pain of getting up though…
Nancy took gentle hold of Lara’s wrist and stood in silence for a few moments before bending down to examine her face.
“I think that can be arranged. The bruises are fading, and you still have some swelling, but overall, you’re healing well.
You need to take it easy on the ribs, but I think it’d do you some good for Ronin to give you a tour of the base. ”
“I’d like that.”
“I’ll be back in a moment, then.” Smiling, Nancy walked away.
Lara looked at Ronin. “How big is this place, anyway?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen all of it yet, and I doubt I ever will. It’s big.”
Lara grinned, the skin around her mouth pulling tight against her still-healing cuts. “I bet not knowing bothers you quite a bit.”
“I understand their reasoning for restricting my movements. But yes, it bothers me. There must be multiple entrances, but if we had to get out of here quickly, I only know of the way we came in.”
The curtain rings scraped over the rod when Nancy returned and flicked them open. She pushed a chair with large wheels attached to it into the partition. “This should help you get around.”
“What’s that?” Lara asked.
“A wheelchair. You’re not going to make it very far on foot in your current state.”
Lara grunted, and the blast of pain from her ribs made her immediately regret it.
Nancy had forced her out of bed every day since she woke up.
Every step, every breath, had been agony.
Though Lara would be exhausted before even reaching the curtain, she took pride in pushing through despite the difficulty.
Warlord had tried to kill her, yet here she was, back on her feet already, driven by sheer human stubbornness.
Even if it was only for a few minutes at a time.
She wasn’t sure how she’d feel about being carted around in this chair, but at least it would give her something more to look at than this room’s featureless white walls, curtains, and ceiling for a while. And she couldn’t deny her curiosity about this place.