TWO EMILY
TWO
EMILY
Ican’t believe that I convinced him to come to this retreat with me at Ironcliff Falls. A co-worker told me about this place a long time ago, and they’re hosting a couples retreat week. She attended with her husband once and kept raving about how it saved her marriage.
So, I took the chance and asked Devin if he would like to participate, to rekindle our dying flame of love, I told him. He reluctantly agreed. He attempted to get out of it by saying he had to work, but it’s the holiday, and he has plenty of time to get away.
The traffic has thinned out as we make it out of Richmond and drive up to Ironcliff Falls, which is by the Blue Ridge Valley.
We’ve only ever gone to see the valley and surrounding woods a couple of times since moving to Virginia over a decade ago.
The drive isn’t terribly long, and the views are breathtaking.
“At least the holiday traffic has died down,” the sound of Devin’s deep voice over the low hum of the engine startled me.
We haven’t said a word to one another since we left this morning. It’s not unusual for us to not speak when we are together; at first I thought it was because we felt comfortable in silence. Now I know it’s because we have nothing else to say.
“Hmm,” is my only response.
I’m busy remembering the evening of our anniversary a couple of months ago. We went to a place we haven’t been to in years, not since before Devin’s constant absences. It was a place we would go to celebrate all of life’s milestones: a new job, buying our home, promotions at work.
Now, it’s a sad place for me because there are no more milestones in our lives.
I’ve worked my way up to the highest position in my company, Devin has done the same, and our lives have become stagnant.
We never wanted children, so that’s something we will never get to celebrate either.
Some days I wish we would have had a child; most days I am grateful I don’t have to raise a little one that might be an exact replica of their father.
I pull out my phone and look through the schedule of events for the week I received by email.
Devin has never been much of a camper, so instead of a tent for the week, we opted for a cabin.
It’ll be way too big for just us two, but that’s fine.
I appreciate the extra space so we don’t have to be so close to one another.
The campground has a pool, a dog park, offers kayaking on the lake, and has a hiking trail in the valley.
It’s large enough that we can do something different each day and won’t get bored.
We plan on being here for the week; whether we use the time to ‘work’ on our marriage or just enjoy some time outside of the house, it should be an eventful trip.
“We’re almost there.” Again, his voice makes my heart rate go up.
There was a time long ago when hearing his voice was soothing, and it would give me butterflies in my stomach. Now, it sours my stomach and makes me nervous. Every word he speaks is filled with venom lately.
There is a row of trucks, SUVs, and campers waiting to get into the campground.
It’s the Fourth of July week, so I figured it would be busy.
Devin sighs and gets in line; his fingers drumming on the steering wheel in annoyance make me tense.
Just a little thing he does that makes me aware he is unhappy.
I’ve spent the last 18 years making sure he was satisfied: a clean house, a fridge full of food he likes, dinner on the table right when he gets home, and his laundry always washed and dry-cleaned. All while never being told ‘thank you’ or any kind of appreciation.
I used to think it was just because his communication skills were lacking in that department and it was my job to be a good wife. Now, I just do it out of habit and to keep him from saying anything to me. Better to be safe than sorry.
“Where are we supposed to go? Do you even have a map of this place?” He snaps.
“I have a small map on my phone. The email the campground sent told us to check in at the front office. It’s right when we get in; that’s probably the holdup right now.”
Devin sighs and looks out his window. I don’t need to look at his face to know he most likely rolled his eyes at what I said and is contemplating an excuse to get out of here early. Some things never change with him, but that’s ok; after this week, my life will certainly change.
For the good.