Chapter 25
Iwas the first to be teleported with Jyuri to the small cabin in the dense forest just outside of Val’Naeris.
He could only take us one at a time, and the idea already irritated him, since it would drain more of his magic than he was willing, but Zorinna refused to spend the time traveling on foot to the capital from Nil’Faerith.
Much to his detriment, Jyuri seemed incapable of telling her no.
It was perhaps another facet of the bargain between the two of them, but I didn’t imagine he would tell me if I asked him outright.
Kaz was the next to arrive, and I couldn’t help the tears from welling in the corner of my eyes when I caught sight of him. His name rolled off my tongue in a strangled whisper. “Kaz.…”
He wrapped me up in one of his signature bear hugs, and today, I didn’t care that he was squeezing the air from my lungs.
I hadn’t seen my dear friend in twenty-five years, not while knowing who he was to me, and I missed his affection more than I’d thought possible.
Today, I squeezed him back extra tight, because I knew well what it was like to think you’d never have the opportunity to do so again.
The only reason I let go was to speak with him in private before the rest of the group appeared.
Sucking in a deep breath once he’d released me, I spoke. “I had hoped our reunion would be on better terms, but I’m so happy to see you, Kaz.” Try as I might to fight it, my voice shook with emotion, and a single tear wiggled its way free.
“Save those tears for our pretty little Elf. I shouldn’t be the reason you cry.” He grinned. “We’re going to get him back. You know that. I won’t let you down.”
I wiped at my cheek. “There is no one I trust more with his life. Do you know what the Divine Council has been doing to the cities they infiltrate?”
The smile fled his face as his eyes grew distant. “You need to see it for yourself.”
Lorian was the next to appear, followed by Kaelias and then Makatza. I waited until the three of them were together before I approached.
My crew. My saviors. My friends. I’d been harsh to them, accusing them of keeping things from me, and they had been, but not for the reasons I’d assumed.
They’d been trying to protect me, as they’d promised, and I hadn’t believed in them enough to trust that.
I owed them so much more than an apology for my behavior.
The reason I was alive today was because they hadn’t broken down and told me the truth.
They’d spared my mind from shattering at the cost of our strained friendship. Not anymore.
Lorian and I opened our mouths to speak at the same time. With a small smile, he motioned for me to begin.
“I should have believed in you when you promised you had my best interest in mind. You’d never led me astray. In all of my time on the Phoenix Heart, you’d protected me like your own family. I am so sorry, Lorian. You do not know how much you changed my life that day you found me in Tempestas.”
“You are family. You owe me no apologies, Nairu.” He stepped forward and pulled me into an embrace.
“When I learned the truth of your past, I was furious. It was agonizing to lie in wait and hope that your memories would return to you so that we could do something about it. I did not wish to lie to you, but I had no choice.”
“I know. I understand.”
Kaelias and Makatza had an arm wrapped around both of us in an instant, and it took everything in my power not to start crying all over again.
Makatza was the only one to shake me from my feelings, making me laugh. “Don’t become a crybaby all of a sudden, tzuk vartu. You’re part of a pirate crew. We have a reputation to keep.”
“If you’ll still have me.” I smiled.
Lorian nodded. “Always.”
Jyuri arrived with Zorinna next. The last of our party, but not the last person I needed to apologize to.
Zorinna I’d judged for her animosity towards Lorian, but I’d not known her then, hadn’t remembered the complicated past the siblings shared—a past which Zorinna had shared with me in confidence in my past life, only to have me behave coldly towards her in this one.
Both Lorian and Zorinna had their own reasons for their estrangement. Despite my deep care for them, I lacked the right to force their reconciliation. I would care for them both, whether or not they chose to repair their relationship. I would not—could not—choose one over the other.
Zorinna’s eyes met mine immediately, and a crease formed between her brows before she remembered herself, and the perfectly unshakable mask appeared. “Nairu… it’s been too long.”
I pulled her into a hug and whispered against her shoulder, “I am so sorry I was mean to you, Zorinna.”
She leaned back, patting the back of my head. “You were being protective of your friend. With the distance I was keeping, you did not know me as anything more than a stranger. I will not accept an apology I am not owed.”
I frowned. “You are being difficult.”
That made her smirk, and I grinned at the sight. This was the sarcastic, Elven princess I knew and loved. “As is my nature. The most egregious thing you’ve done to me was look at me like I was a bit of a bitch, and well… I can be.”
She glared at Jyuri, then. “I will apologize for his actions, however. I assure you he will not harm you in any way ever again. Good on you for giving him a taste of his own medicine, though. I will never let him live that down.”
To ensure our companions couldn’t hear, I pulled her close enough that our whispers wouldn’t carry. “I know you bargained with him… I owe you. I know that. If there is any way to transfer the debt…”
There was no use pressing Zorinna further.
She kept things close to her chest, a product of her noble training.
She’d not even shared the exact details of her Fae bargain to Jyuri with Alandris.
I knew only that Jyuri and his magic were hers to utilize until I was deemed ‘saved’ and that Jyuri could kill neither her nor myself.
It seemed too good to be true, and I could only imagine what pieces of herself she’d sacrificed to obtain it.
Jyuri cleared his throat. “As entertaining as this is, why don’t we stop the heartfelt reunion and begin planning our massacre? It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure of mortal blood on my teeth. I must say I am excited.”
“Rescue mission, not massacre,” Zorinna corrected with a glare. “We are getting Alandris out and removing the Divine Council’s influence from Val’Naeris. There will be no other deaths on our hands.”
“Oh, sure. The casualties will be justified. Don’t let anyone touch a hair on your pretty little head, and the bloodshed shall be minimal.”
Lorian coughed. “Choosing to ignore that…. We have reason to believe the Council will attack the main temple at the city’s south end.
Smaller, outlying temples have already reported grievances against their worshipers.
If the council hopes to force the royal family’s hand without directly inciting war, this is how they will do it.
King Zaelthrian could explain away the smaller infractions as rowdy bandits, but not an attack on the Temple of the Moon. They guard it heavily.”
I furrowed my brow. “What purpose would this serve other than to start a war with the Elven Kingdom? Surely, they are not powerful enough to take on Val’Naeris’s military.”
“The Divine Council will not claim this attack as their own, just as they have not claimed the others. They wish to oust the royal family from power,” Zorinna answered.
“They intend to turn their own people against them, make them question their ability to protect them, so when the Cardinal comes preaching salvation at the hands of their Goddess, they will accept it with open arms.”
“They’ve spread their numbers in secret, quietly, but ferociously.
They no doubt have their fair share of followers already in Val’Naeris,” Lorian added.
“Those followers will help sway the minds of the people after the Temple of the Moon falls. And anyone else who refuses to submit to their faith…”
“Will die,” I finished in a whisper.
Lorian nodded grimly. “They’ve been planning this in the shadows for hundreds of years. We only learned this much because of Alandris.”
“I told you, you were just the beginning of their plans,” Jyuri said, eyeing me. “You are a threat because you possess the magic of a god in a tangible, human body. They are relying on the people’s blind faith.”
“Are you saying the Goddess isn’t real?” I asked.
Jyuri shook his head. “It’s a complicated matter.
She is real enough to bless them with magic, but magic bestowed by the gods is far less powerful than what lies inside of you.
It is no stronger than the magic drawn from the natural world itself channeled through a conduit.
What you have is raw, godly magic which should not exist in this mortal realm.
You disrupt the balance. They fear you because you threaten their control.
” He narrowed his gaze at me. “Who would worship an invisible Goddess when faced with one in the flesh?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was no goddess.
I hadn’t even made a proper Saintess. Granted, I’d been trying to commune with a denounced Fae inhabiting my body, not the holy being I believed to be my god.
Nonetheless, I had no desire to be a symbol for the people of Lustria.
I’d witnessed the evil that faith manifested in the world firsthand.
I would never willingly choose to be a part of that. Never again.
I would save Val’Naeris, I would save Alandris, but I would not paint myself as someone holy to be revered.
“That is why you wish to use me as bait,” I murmured.
“If I show up there, they will have no choice but to show themselves. They will fight me with the magic bestowed by their Goddess, and then the people of Val’Naeris will know exactly who is behind the attacks on their temples.
The citizens will never turn their backs on the royal family to accept the Cardinal as their ruler. ”
“Precisely.” Jyuri wagged his finger. “And I will have the great, long-awaited pleasure of pulling their bones from their flesh.”
Zorinna groaned and turned to me with a frown. “If we don’t do it this way, we run the risk of them targeting Val’Naeris again. We must expose them for what they are.” She pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, Nairu. We wouldn’t put you in danger if there was any other way.”
“You will not be hurt,” Kaz added. “I will assure that.”
Jyuri mumbled through gritted teeth, so bitterly it was almost laughable. “As will I.”
The threat of death didn’t worry me. I trusted my friends unconditionally.
I even trusted Jyuri to keep me alive, given his bargain.
It was the fear of the aftermath that plagued me with worries.
That word—goddess—had triggered something inside of me that had made my skin crawl and my chest tighten until I could barely breathe.
I’d escaped my village… I was no longer a tool.
All that remained was to remove Zaelos, and I would finally be free.
I’d not thought about the ‘after’. What would I become when all that remained was myself and the power he’d left me with no leash to restrain me? It was already so much stronger with my memories returned to me. If he was gone too…
The Divine Council would view me as a veritable goddess, then. Not one to be worshiped, but one to be hunted. My safety depended on their annihilation. The realization hit me like a knife to the heart—Zaelos wasn’t the end for me. He never had been.
The tightness in my chest spread further until every muscle in my body seized up. My voice came out as a strangled gasp. “I—I need a moment alone.”
Rushing out of the cabin door, I collapsed to my knees on the forest floor.
Loose sticks and rocks dug into my skin, but I was grateful for the sensation.
Anything to distract me from the horrible feeling of suffocating.
I drew in as deep a breath as I could manage, but it wasn’t enough.
My shaking arms struggled to hold up my body weight, my head hanging between them as I dry-heaved.
When the worst of it passed, the numbness spread through my body first, then my mind—same as it always did, until I could barely form a coherent thought.
There was only one person I wanted at my side when this happened. Only one person who could bring me peace when it felt like my world was crashing down on me.
I whispered to the wind, my words slurred and nearly inaudible. “I will do anything to save him. To save the things he loves.”
A voice whispered in my mind, but it wasn’t Zaelos. Will you become the thing you fear the most?
“Anything.”