Chapter 30
Sun was pouring in through the paper-thin, translucent screen doors leading out to the veranda.
A ray of light hit my eye in just the right spot to stir me from my sleep.
In a half-asleep haze, I curled deeper into the fur covers, pulling them up to my chin.
I was far too warm and cozy to even consider waking up, especially knowing that another rough training session was awaiting me.
A soft chuckle from in front of me elicited a grumble of protest from my lips.
I begrudgingly opened one eye to find the source of the noise propped up on his elbow, blanket scrunched up at his waist, the rest of him drenched in the soft morning glow.
I opened my other eye only to get a closer look at the way it highlighted the curves of his muscles, brought out the blueish tones in his black hair.
His appearance in the moonlight had been stunning, but the sun loved him equally.
Voice deep and groggy with sleep, he said, “Nairu, it’s time to wake up.
” He dragged his fingertips along my shoulder, down my arm, and tracing along the curve of my waist and hip.
“Trust me when I say I’d love to stay here with you all day long, but there will be many more mornings we can indulge. After.”
“Are you sure I can’t convince you to spend the day in bed?” I mumbled, trying to burrow myself deeper into the covers.
His hand stopped at my hip and gripped me there. “You probably could. That’s the problem.”
“I don’t see a problem with it. You can still teach me… maybe something other than magic.”
He groaned as though it were physically paining him to deny me. “Don’t be difficult.”
“My mistake.” I snickered.
Yielding to his wishes at last, I sat up, clutching the furs to my chest. Realization dawned on me too late, and my mouth dropped open. “We left our clothes in the snow overnight!”
“Jyuri has spare clothes for the two of us here. Your coming here was always a contingency plan we knew may need to happen.” He motioned to the wooden wardrobe in the far corner of the room. “I’ll let you get dressed. When you’re done, meet me in the kitchen. We’ll eat before we begin.”
I waited for him to slip on his clothes and exit before making my way to the wardrobe and pulling out black leathers and a maroon linen blouse.
With any luck, my boots had made their way inside on their own because, if not, they’d be soaked through and freezing.
I certainly hadn’t had the forethought last night to grab them before… . My cheeks heated at the thought.
Sheltered as I’d been, I’d never been intimate with anyone before.
Not in this life, nor in any before it. The extent of my explorations came in the form of kissing strangers when my Keepers weren’t watching me like a hawk.
A stable boy here, a drunken patron of an inn there.
It’d meant nothing beyond satiating my curiosity.
Even in this life, after obtaining some freedom on the Phoenix Heart, I’d never wanted more than a kiss—until Alandris.
That inescapable draw to him was something beyond normal. It was as he’d said before—it is your soul I am in love with. Devoid of my memories, maybe deep down, I somehow knew it was my Alandris. His soul would always call to mine.
“What is there to eat?” I called out, exiting the room. My voice trailed off with the realization that the two of us were no longer alone. There in the middle of the kitchen were Jyuri and Zorinna, far earlier to arrive than the one week we’d been informed of.
Jyuri crinkled his nose at the sight of me, exhaling a sigh. “Remind me to burn this place to the ground later.”
Praise the gods, I hadn’t walked out naked. “You are very early.”
“Very,” Alandris agreed.
Jyuri clicked his long, claw-like nails together. “I would not have returned, but there has been an unfortunate incident.”
Zorinna scoffed, swinging her deep red hair over her shoulder. “That’s all you have to say about it?”
‘Unfortunate’ for Jyuri could be as small as a broken nail or as big as our entire realm catching on fire. “Please do elaborate,” I insisted.
He sighed once more. “This place is no longer safe for the two of you. Well, for none of my non-Fae toys, really. I have accidentally offended my Queen, and she is on a ridiculously nasty rampage, even for her. I fear she will need a few hundred years to stew in her anger before she forgives me.”
Zorinna rubbed circles along her temple. “By accidentally, he means denying a marriage proposal to one of her daughters.”
“That doesn’t seem so bad,” Alandris replied.
“Thank you!” Jyuri said, clapping his hands together.
“He called her a disgusting specimen and said he would rather flay the skin from his body than sully his hands with her filth.” She sent a pointed glance in his direction. “If you’re going to tell the story, at least do so honestly.”
I winced. So much for this being a safe haven.
If I had to take my chances between a pissed off Faerie Queen and the possibility that I would lose control of my magic with Zaelos being able to influence my thoughts, I’d have to choose the one that wouldn’t cause assured death—only probable death. Wonderful odds.
Alandris began pacing the room. “We’ll have to go back to the Consortium. I’ll figure something out from there. She’s close. We only need a bit more time, and we will be able to take her to the Soulseer.”
“She could kill someone, Alandris.” Zorina looked away from me. “I’m sorry, Nairu, but it must be addressed. Even Jyuri has trouble containing you when you lose control.”
“Only because you won’t let me kill her,” he mumbled in reply.
Both Alandris and Zorinna glared at him, the former speaking up in my defense. “What would you have me do? I will not have her go there before she is ready.”
Jyuri shrugged. “Does the Consortium have a dungeon?”
Alandris hissed. “I will not cage her like some rabid animal.”
“Can we please stop talking about me as though I am not in the room?” I shouted, silencing everyone around me.
I calmed before continuing, “This is my decision to make. With your permission, Alandris, I will return to the Mages Consortium. I understand the risks and will consent to whatever is necessary to ensure the Mages there are safe. If I need to have someone with me at all times, if you wish me to carry a poison to end my life in an instant, then so be it, but I will not be caged.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. It is your decision,” Alandris said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You are welcome at the Consortium, always.”
“I’m sorry too, Nairu. Between the rest of us, we can keep an eye on you.” Zorinna nodded in my direction. “That will have to be good enough for now. I’ll inform the Prince that I will be absent from court for some time.”
“My Queen could probably do with a break from seeing my dashing face,” Jyuri added, earning him a collective groan from the rest of us.
In truth, I was nervous about returning to the Consortium.
In the past, there had always been a clear line between Zaelos and myself.
When he whispered in my mind or affected my magic, there had always been a balance of control that teetered in my favor.
He’d never been able to fully take over my body to where I felt like the passenger.
I’d wrestled back my control this past time, but there was no guarantee that I could do it a second time.
It’d taken a group of trained fighters, a Grand Arch Magus, and a Fae Lord to stop me.
If I lost control while they were indisposed, the damage I could cause would be unimaginable.
I needed to be careful—mindful of Zaelos’s influence.
“Can you give the two of us a moment alone?” Alandris spoke up.
Jyuri nodded. “I’ll take Zorinna back first.”
He reached for her hand, softly weaving their fingers, and with a snap of his fingers, they were gone, the scent of magic lingering heavily in the air. Almost as heavily as the silence between Alandris and me.
“I am sorry,” he said finally. “In trying to protect you, I fear I’ve been overbearing. I know how you value your freedoms, and I have no right to make your decisions for you. If at any point this isn’t what you want… I hope you feel comfortable telling me.”
I brought my hand to his chest. “I cannot imagine what it feels like to lose the one you love, to think them gone forever. Unlike you, I didn’t have to endure the memory of losing a lover as you did for twenty-five years…
. I think I can spare you some grace in understanding why you are being overprotective.
But let me be very clear—this is what I want. Whatever we face, we do it together.”
“Together.”
“And I can do it.”
“I know you can.” He smiled.
Jyuri returned moments later, holding out his hand impatiently. “Time to go.”
I slid my hand into his, and the world around me blurred.
When I came back to, opening my eyes again, I was faced with the familiar sight of the Consortium.
Looking at it now with my memories returned felt different.
I’d dreamed of coming to this place once upon a time.
Alandris had made it sound like some secret paradise tucked away in the corner of the world, and in a way, it was.
He’d freed the Mages here from corruption. He’d saved this place.
I refused to be the reason it all came crashing down.
We’ll see about that, my little monster.
The blooming pain in my head was instantaneous, and I had to grind my teeth to +it without crying out. The last thing I needed to do was show my weakness right after listening to everyone worry that I’d cause a catastrophe.
“Rough trip?” Jyuri asked, releasing my hand.
“No. No, I’m fine.”