Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
T hree days back in California and it still didn’t feel like home without her husband. Emily did her best regardless of the constant uneasiness she felt. The first day, she blamed it on being tired from the drive. The second day, she thought maybe it was a stomach bug. The reality, though, was she couldn’t feel comfortable without him. On day three of living in her parents’ house, she rolled out of bed around five o’clock to go make a pot of coffee. To her surprise, it was already made. She noticed the light on outside, and her father, Richard, was already up and sitting out on the back patio.
“Dad?” Emily opened the French doors leading out onto the patio. “What are you doing up?”
“Trouble sleeping.” Lifting an eyebrow, he looked at her. “What’s your reason?”
Sighing, she came outside and shut the door behind her. “Same.”
Motioning to the lounge chair beside him, he offered her a seat. “Sit down and let the heater warm you.”
A small heater oscillating back and forth blew hot air toward the two chairs. She sat down.
“What’s on your mind? New job jitters?”
Emily had successfully slipped into a job back at her old school for the summer, this time as a teacher assistant in fifth grade for the summer school program. She was set to start that morning. “No. My husband . . .”
He took a swig of his coffee and set it down on the little table between the chairs.
“Sure. You spend that long with another human being, it’s going to take some time getting used to them not being around.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “It just feels so wrong.”
“What was wrong is his lying to you.” Sitting further up in his seat, he leaned over his armrest toward her. “The problem with guys like Ryan is the fact that they never change. Once a liar, always a liar. Who knows what else he has lied to you about? That girl you were worried about early on in your marriage? At that job he had in San Diego? Jackie or something? He probably had a fling with her.”
Uneasiness rose within her like tide waters. She shook her head as tears welled in her eyes. “Why have you never liked him, Dad? What was it about him that you couldn’t stand?”
Relaxing back into his chair, he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t trust him. Never have. But I’d grown to like him enough, until this whole moving debacle.”
“Liked him enough?” She shook her head. “Enough for who? God?”
Richard looked pointedly at her. “Don’t you dare try to judge me in my own house. I let you bring your kids and live here rent-free! I’ve given you everything, Emily. Learn to respect the gift I’ve given you and don’t question me.”
Pain. It was the only thing Emily felt in that moment. “I need to go inside.”
“Why? Uncomfortable for you?”
She nodded as tears spilled onto her cheeks. “Extremely.”
Going in, she hurried up into her room and fell into her pillow. Smacking it with a fist, she gave it a good few whacks and then relented, finally falling into it face first. Her heart felt broken, and she had never felt so alone.
Rolling onto her back with tears streaming down her cheeks, she closed her eyes and began to pray. “I’m all out of answers, plans, and ideas, God . . .”
Then she went quiet, just trying to focus on God and His majesty.
After a few moments, a tickle of comfort brushed against her soul, pressing onto her mind and heart an idea, not a voice. Good. Now I can work.
A pounding on his front door pulled Ryan from his sleep on the couch in his living room. Rolling over, he placed the pillow over his head to drown out the annoyance of knocking. He hoped whoever it was would leave his doorstep.
A few moments later, after he had drifted back to sleep, the doorbell began to chime, drawing him once again from slumber.
Lifting himself from the couch, he stepped over the pizza boxes and made his way to the front door.
Unlocking the door, he opened it and saw his brother.
“What do you want, man? Couldn’t get the picture when I ignored the knocking?” Ryan leaned against the door frame as he crossed his arms.
“What’s up with you? You’ve ignored my calls and texts, and Steven said you haven’t come in at all to the grill the last few days. You look like you haven’t showered or shaved in days.”
He shook his head and dipped his chin. “She left me.”
He walked back into the house, and Jason followed behind him.
“Why? What happened?”
As they sat down at the dining room table, Ryan explained what had happened with her discovering the last two transfers to Linda.
“You’re an idiot.”
“What?” Ryan furrowed his eyebrows and opened his arms out on the table.
“I said you’re an idiot. You have a good life with Emily and the kids. Sure, you’ve hit some hiccups here and there, but you have a life I hope to have one day in my own family. Three wonderful children and a wife who cherishes you.”
“You have a kid and a wife, Bro.”
“I know, but I still look up to you and your family.”
Ryan sighed, rubbing his neck.
Jason continued. “Look, I know you meant well helping this gal and her kid out. I get that. Dad would be pleased to know about that if he were alive, but he’s not here. You have to take care of your family and your wife. Breaking her trust over and over again will never get you anywhere, and it’s not a way to honor God or Dad.”
Ryan sighed heavily as he nodded in agreement. “You might be my little brother, but you have a big heart and a lot of wisdom. Maybe I’ll just pack up and move back to California.”
Jason stood up and shook his head. “No way, Brother! You can’t let Bill win. Plus, I need you.”
“You don’t need me. And I don’t see any other way where I get my family. My wife and children are in California, and I’m here. I need to stop fighting it and just go. It doesn’t help that Bill is planning to share our family dirt with the whole town in three days.”
Jason stood up and came over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder as he looked him in the eyes. “Pray, Ryan, and God will lead you in what to do. But lying on the couch and doing nothing isn’t the solution for anything .”
Walking Jason out to his car, Ryan came back inside and got down on his knees in front of his couch and began to pray. “I’m at the end of myself, Lord. Have Your way with me. Your will, not mine.”
It was the same school, same coworkers, same everything, and yet so different at the same time. Emily kept a smile on her face as she went throughout the motions of her day, but the smile hid how she truly felt inside. Her heart was breaking over Ryan. Why? She wasn’t sure. She had been so sick of him by the time she pulled out of that driveway, she couldn’t imagine feeling the way she did now. Was she crazy? She felt like it.
Emily wasn’t sure if the exhaustion that evening was from forcing a smile all day or just knowing she had to deal with her overbearing parents that night. Regardless, she was tired and on edge.
As she and the children sat down at the dining room table with her parents to eat, Emily fought back the tears that were welling in her eyes.
Her mother touched her arm after setting the platter of chicken in front of her. “Are you okay, dear? You look tired.”
“I’m fine.”
Elizabeth looked over at Emily. “Yeah, Mom. You look like you’re about to cry.”
“It was just a difficult day. Seriously. I’m okay.”
The dinner was mostly quiet. Her parents tried to ask questions about her job and being back at the school, but Emily barely replied.
After dinner, she took the kids out for a walk and down to the beach to play in the sand at the ocean. As the boys chased each other around a piece of driftwood, Elizabeth took selfies of herself with the ocean in the background.
Emily found a rock to sit on. She recalled coming down to the same beach with Ryan. The long walks on the beach hadn’t happened in years, but they were a reminder of the life they shared together.
Her phone rang.
It was him.
And though she was still upset with him and still angry for what he had done, she couldn’t help but feel her heart leap at his name appearing on the caller ID.
“Hey, Em. How are you? And the kids?”
She sighed. “I’m at my parents’ house. I think that says enough. How are you?”
He let out a long sigh. “I can imagine how fun that is . . . Honestly, I’ve been better. I’m kind of a wreck without you.”
Warmth and love radiated in her heart. How could the man she was so upset with make her feel so good and cause her to long for him?
“I see.”
“What have you been up to? I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. I’ve been upset and laying around for days now.”
“I got back on at the school as an assistant teacher in fifth grade for summer school. The kids are at my parents’ house during the day. Just settling in here the best we can.”
His voice dampened. “Oh. Well, that’s good.”
She let out a long sigh as she felt her spirit push toward being honest. “Ryan, I’m honestly miserable.”
“Then just come home, Em. Stop this pain.”
She started to cry. “I can’t. The lying, the long work hours, the lack of affection. It’s just too much for me. You broke my heart, Ryan. I don’t know how to deal with that . . . I don’t want to come back just for you to hurt me again.”
Silence lingered on the call between them.
Wiping her eyes, she sniffled. “I want things to work between us, but I don’t know how to do that.”
“Well, I’m going to keep praying for us. I hope you’ll do the same.”
She nodded and said, “I will.”
“Can you get the kids? I’d love to talk to them.”
Calling the children over, she let each of them pass the phone around and talk to their father. Watching each child as they talked, she saw them grow up too fast in those few brief moments. They shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of thing, and it crushed her. What was the way out of this? Should she go back to Cedarwood Creek? Or should she ask him to move back to California?
That evening, after the phone call with his family and while watching television, he had a thought come to his mind. It was something the pastor had told him. Go talk to Bill directly . . .
He knew where Bill lived, and he knew he was most likely home as well. Could he push himself to go over to the man’s house? Could he reason with him, or would it be a waste of time?
Letting the idea slip away, he kept watching television.
Then it came again.
Shutting off the television, he got in his car and drove over to Bill’s house.
Rapping his knuckles against the frame of the screen door, he took a step back and waited. As he did, he prayed. He begged God for gentleness and guidance in the conversation he was about to have with the man who had made it his mission in life to destroy his late father’s reputation and drive the Cedarwood Creek Grill into the ground.
Eyes wide as saucers lit on Bill’s face as he opened the door.
Through the screen door, still closed, Bill asked, “What are you doing here, Ryan?”
“I wanted to talk.”
Hesitation held the moment, then Bill opened the screen door and motioned for Ryan to come in.
The foyer and living room walls were covered in family photographs. Vacations, children, adult children, and a lifetime of memories were spread through each square inch of the walls. Bill appeared more human in that moment than any other moment since Ryan had met him.
“These your kiddos?” Ryan motioned in a sweeping gesture across a collection of photographs.
“Yes. I have four kids and eleven grandkids.”
Sitting down with Bill, Bill on the recliner and Ryan on the couch, Ryan closed his hands together. “Family important to you, Bill?”
“Of course.”
“It is for me too.”
Bill shook his head as he shook a finger at him. “I know where you’re going with this. You must’ve talked to your brother. You can’t—let me correct that—you won’t convince me to not share the information with the town. They need to know the truth about Frank.”
Rising to his feet, Ryan shook his head. “How’d you figure it out? Your nephew?”
Reaching under the coffee table, Bill retrieved a folder and handed it to Ryan. “No, he couldn’t figure it out beyond a certain point. Photographs my private investigator captured. Also, he talked to some of Linda’s coworkers at the diner.”
Shaking his head, Ryan handed the folder back. “If family really meant something to you like you claim it does, you wouldn’t move forward with this. While I didn’t hire a private investigator to go dig into your family, I’m sure there are secrets and things you'd rather not want aired in public. Just ask yourself something, Bill. Does this decision honor Christ? Is it gossip? Remember, anything that lowers one person’s opinion of another is considered gossip.”
Walking to the door, Ryan stopped when Bill stood from the recliner. “You’re more than welcome to come to the town meeting, Ryan. This isn’t a witch hunt. It’s a fact find.”
“I’ll be there.”