LAILAH
TWENTY-THREE
Since Jay and Cami made breakfast, the rest of us pitched in to clean up, even though Cami argued the whole time. "Guys, this is not how this is supposed to work, I'm here to help out and take off some of the pressure."
"Cami, you did that when you made breakfast, we have a rule between all of us that whoever cooks doesn't clean," Brayden explained. "There are a lot of us and so it's really not that much of a burden."
"Yeah well, we don't have the idiot helping us this time so that helps," Micah commented, acid in his tone.
At the mention of Parker not being there, I was brought to an abrupt halt as my heart ached with his absence.
Even though my brain was pissed at him and knew he didn't deserve to be here with us right now, it didn't do a damn thing for my heart, who missed him terribly.
"Has anyone heard from him?" I whispered, half hoping no one would hear me, but I wasn't that lucky.
"Dylan texted me, letting me know they took him to your parents for the night," Jay answered. "Dylan also said that everyone wanted to come over to check on you, but I also think it's because he has questions."
Unable to deal with the simple task of putting the leftovers in a container, I shoved it away and splayed my hands on the counter. "How can I tell him there's no hope for Phoebe? No matter what plan we come up with, it will always end in Phoebe dying."
"Angel," Brayden ventured, reaching out to me.
I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted to be left to feel angry about the situation. "Don't, please." I snapped as I stepped away from him. "I'm going to get some clothes on and call my parents."
"Alright, we'll be around if you need us," Brayden said, assuring me he wasn't upset with me.
I just nodded and headed upstairs, feeling all their eyes on me as I walked away. In the refuge of my own room, I slid down the door and crumpled to the floor as the pain I'd been pushing off gutted me full force.
He left me—no it was worse than that. Parker, my grinning, goofball of a boyfriend, betrayed me and left not even putting up a fight.
He just let Micah beat him to a pulp and let me leave, without trying to stop me!
So what if I told him to fuck off, if he really wanted me he should have said something… right?
Tears streamed down my face as my body shook with the effort to keep my sobs quiet so the guys wouldn't come up here.
They were going through their own emotions over this, but they didn't know what it felt like to have a piece of your soul ripped out of you, while at the same time you weren't sure you were going to live.
Could someone even come back from a fuck up as big as this?
Would the angels allow us to form another Bond if he broke his Oath to me and them?
Why?! Why the fuck was I the one who had to deal with all of this?
Hadn't I suffered enough for this goddamn calling?
If I was supposed to be some mythical weapon to end the hold the darkness had on this world, it would mother fucking help if they didn't keep kicking me while I was down.
Letting out a growl, I pulled myself to my feet and wiped my sleeve across my face to dry my tears, before tossing it off.
Yanking open one of the drawers that held my work out clothes, I pulled out what I needed and slammed it shut.
I made quick work getting ready, tossed my hair up and out of the way, snagged my headphones, and jogged down the stairs.
"Lailah," Jay called out to me as I brushed past him out the front door. "Do not ignore me."
The tone he used made me pause long enough to look him in the eyes and toss out what he wanted to know. "I'm going for a run. No, I don't want company."
"We are not the enemy, and I don't appreciate being treated as such," he barked, making me flinch.
Whirling on my heel, I turned to face him. "That's what you think this is?"
"How would I know differently when you won't take the time to speak to me?" Jay reasoned, his arms crossed, face unreadable. "You only run from those you don't want to be around."
Something about the way he said that made me snap.
"I can't think with all of you constantly listening in on my emotions and trying to make things alright when it's not, Jay!
Nothing is okay right now, I'm broken, pissed, and in pain.
A pain that no one understands but me, and everything is so fucked up I can't process anything, so I need to go for a run.
That okay with you, or do you plan to stop me because the world is too dangerous out there to be trusted on my own? "
"Don't pick a fight you can't win, Beautiful," Jay warned but he relaxed slightly after my outburst. "Go have your run, all I ask is that you take your phone with you."
I opened my mouth to say something sassy, but he was right. I was trying to pick a fight. So I just nodded my head and showed him my phone attached to my arm. "I will… and thanks."
In true Jay fashion he didn't say anything, just turned and walked back into the house.
Guilt compounded on my other mix of emotions, making me need this run all that much more.
I walked to the end of the drive and took a moment to stretch against a tree so I didn't do more harm than good.
Thankfully, the stitches didn't pull that bad as I started at a light easy jog, following the beat of my running playlist set up just for this purpose.
It surprised me that I was in even better shape now than I had been running track all through high school.
I was up to my old times and distance, even being able to outdo them with a little effort.
That wasn't what today's run was about though, I needed to clear my head and this is how I always did that best. The slap of my feet on the asphalt, the music in my ears, and the breath moving in and out of my lungs was all I focused on, bringing me back to center.
Having no idea where I was running or the layout of the community, I just decided to stay within the gates and GPS my way back if I needed to.
Although I had a feeling if I took too long, Jay would be showing up at some point.
He would let me have my space but that didn't mean I wasn't being tracked by him, either through my phone or some other way he found to keep an eye on me.
Either way, I would take the illusion of being on my own for now and deal with that when it happened.
Now that I was good and warmed up, I put some real effort into my run feeling the need to push myself, to feel the burn of my muscles getting used, the stress of things slipping away with each droplet of sweat.
Interestingly enough, my thoughts drifted to Micah's idea about using his aunt as the bait for Mozog.
What if I approached the Dark Lord and used him just as he was using me to get the job done?
He of course, would expect us to kill Mozog but we would capture him instead, in the hope we could gain some knowledge about the Dark Lord, or even what Mozog's own plans were.
The whole situation would be a gray area in following the rules, but I believed that to get this mission done we would need to walk that edge of the knife as best we could without falling.
I was responsible for killing many innocent people, regardless of the fact they had been possessed by demons and infected with the serum.
Everything about this whole situation was a blurred line depending on how you looked at it.
The only things I refused to do was become callused to the suffering of those being used and their lives lost. If I felt for a second I no longer felt guilt or remorse over the things I'd done, I would end it all in a heartbeat, because that was not who I was.
Lost deep in thought, I didn't notice the car until it was moments away from hitting me.
Diving out of the way, I landed in the bushes that bordered someone's front yard with the car sounding a long and excessive honk as they kept driving.
"What the hell?" I swore, picking myself up off the ground and pulling the branches out of my hair trying to get my heart rate to calm down.
"This is exactly why I never understood why Synergy was going to be a human, you're just so fragile," a voice said from behind me on the other side of the bushes.
I froze as my brain registered that it was Phoebe's voice who'd spoken. Slowly turning, I came face to face with none other than Lilith, Mother of All, using Phoebe's body.
Lilith pouted when I met her all-black eyes. "You don't look very happy to see me, Synergy… or should I call you Lailah? Just a few months ago, you were destined to be my conduit so I could stop using these filthy human flesh sacks. "
"What are you doing here?" I demanded, finally getting over my shock.
"I would think that would be obvious, I'm here to steal your body of course," Lilith laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"While this one does have a deliciously dark heart, I'm just too powerful for her body to contain.
If it makes you feel any better, she absolutely planned on crushing your brother's heart and stealing Parker from you.
How could I resist helping her and you for that matter.
I exposed the bastard for the man he truly is. "
"Don't you dare say his name," I snarled, my power pulsing around me in anger. "You manipulated and used him for your own sick and twisted enjoyment."
Lilith looked down at her nails, feigning boredom as I spoke.
"Blah, blah, blah, like I haven't heard it all before.
Babe, my own children locked me away, drained all my power, throwing away the key because they feared and hated me…
what makes you think you're a threat at all?
God, it's like you're a mouse squeaking away at the lion who's playing with you. "