Chapter 5 #3
“I know this probably doesn’t help in any way at all, but I do hope you take comfort knowing that you were with her on that terrible day.
That she was held by her mum and loved so much.
” Alba swallowed repeatedly, her voice thick with emotion.
“I’ve only just heard about this, but I can feel the love you have for your daughter. ”
Ellie lifted her gaze to Alba’s, and the pain on her face nearly unravelled Alba all over again. “I don’t know how I get out of bed each day. I don’t know how I function or run that school.”
“I do.” Alba smiled through her tears and lifted a hand, brushing her thumb gently beneath Ellie’s eye.
“You do it for her. Because of her. You do it because you’re dedicated to your job and those children’s futures.
I don’t know you, Ellie. I don’t know if I could be as strong as you are.
But I do know that from the moment I met you, I knew there was a reason I liked you so much. ”
“How can you possibly like me? I’m miserable.”
“I like you because even after everything you’ve been through, you still have respect for every single person in that school.
You go out of your way to be kind and helpful, and you put me at ease the day we met.
Perhaps your daughter is responsible for that in some way, I don’t know.
Maybe that’s just who you are, and you don’t see it yourself. ”
“Without my staff, the school wouldn’t be what it is. I may oversee everything, and my name may be on the sign outside the school gates, but without them…I’d be nothing.”
“And that’s why I think you should speak to them. Explain that it’s a work environment and you’d appreciate it if people could get on with their jobs without gossiping whenever they can.”
Ellie’s shoulders lowered a fraction as she took a few careful breaths. “You’re right. I’ve always been one of those people who doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and upset anyone.”
“And that just makes me like you even more, but by doing that, you are the one who walks out of that school each day upset.”
“You look at me differently.” Ellie searched Alba’s face, and Alba felt the full force of her gaze penetrate right through her.
Even now, tearful and shaken, Ellie was devastatingly gorgeous, but Alba had no idea what any of this meant.
Only that she wanted to be here. That whatever this was—friendship, connection, something still unnamed—she wasn’t walking away from it.
“Even though you know about my daughter, you don’t look at me the way they do. Like I’m broken beyond repair.”
“Because you’re not.” Alba dipped her head and smiled. “You’re trying to navigate a life you’d never imagined. That’s different in my book.”
Something shifted in Ellie’s expression—something fragile but grateful…
perhaps even almost disbelieving. And then Ellie was moving in.
She wrapped her arms around Alba’s neck and pulled her into what was surely the most perfect hug Alba had ever known.
Not because it was romantic and not because it was wanted in that way, but because it was needed.
Alba leaned in willingly, sliding one arm around Ellie’s back and soothing her palm slowly up and down between her shoulder blades.
“Thank you.”
“Thank you for sharing your story with me.” When Alba eventually drew back, the loss of Ellie’s warmth was immediate. “May I just suggest one thing?”
“Of course.” Ellie smiled and took Alba’s hand again as though she was unwilling to fully let go.
“Say her name, Ellie.” Alba lifted their entwined hands and pressed a gentle kiss to Ellie’s knuckles. “I know you think it’s too painful, but every time you speak her name, you’re honouring her life.”
Ellie’s brows drew together, emotion flickering across her features.
“I’ve been there. I lost my mum at a really young age.
I also found that I couldn’t say her name out loud.
I thought that if I did, I’d burst into tears every time.
I thought that if I spoke her name around Dad, it would just upset him.
But when I eventually did, I didn’t cry.
I smiled. I also found that I smiled a whole lot more every time I did so. ”
“What was your mum’s name?”
“Ava. And she was the most beautiful person in my world.” Alba lowered Ellie’s hand back to her lap and rose to her feet. “I think it’s time I put the kettle on, don’t you?”
Ellie stared up at her, her lips parted, but her eyes a little softer than before.
Less haunted, or perhaps she just felt less alone in all of this.
Alba knew grief didn’t disappear just because a hard conversation had been had.
It came and went as it pleased. Sometimes expected, sometimes viciously sudden.
But she also knew that even the deepest pain eased long enough, eventually, for life to let a little beauty back in.
“Eloise.” A smile spread slowly across Ellie’s mouth, small, trembling, but beautiful. “Her name…was Eloise.”
Ah. So that was why Ellie had reacted the way she had on Friday night at the bar. That was why hearing her full name from Alba had made something in her seize. “The perfect name for a mother and daughter to share.”