Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Thrilled by just how smoothly her morning had run so far, Ellie stood at the top of the stairs outside the corridor that led to her office, her hands braced against the railing as she looked out over the heart of the school.
Children milled about below her, their voices filling the space with the familiar chorus that came with the first morning of a new term.
Some looked confident, others a little lost as they navigated unfamiliar corridors and the shifting dynamics of friendship groups that had inevitably changed over the summer.
It was always like this. A strange mixture of excitement and bedlam.
So far, though…nothing had gone wrong. That wouldn’t last, it rarely did, but Ellie was allowing herself this moment anyway.
Just a small pocket of calm before the inevitable mishaps of the day began.
And if she discounted the minor meltdown she’d had at home before leaving for work at seven-fifteen, she would even go so far as to say today was a good day.
And you have Alba to thank for that.
Ellie exhaled slowly, her grip loosening on the railing as she thought back on the conversation they’d shared the night before.
At that exact moment, Alba appeared in the main foyer below and started crossing the floor towards the stairs.
Considering this was only her first day teaching, she looked remarkably at ease.
There was no hesitation in her stride, and no flicker of nerves in the way she greeted the students who passed her by.
Instead, she wore that bright, open smile that Ellie was quickly discovering had a habit of warming the entire room. It was almost impossible to remain sad around her. How could she be anything other than grateful that Alba Clifford had joined her staff?
Alba bounded up the stairs two at a time, though the playful narrowing of her eyes suggested she had come with purpose. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”
“Me?” Ellie straightened, genuinely surprised. “Please don’t tell me something has happened. I was just saying to myself how great this morning has been.”
“Colin wasn’t speaking to me when I got home last night.”
Ellie frowned. “Oh?”
“Because he didn’t get to see you last night.” Alba huffed and shook her head. “He didn’t even sit with me. He sat on the other couch with his back to me until I called it a night. Charming.”
Ellie couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, that won’t do.” She nodded towards the code-accessible door that would take them to the quiet corridor housing her office and the staff room. “Maybe we should sit down and have lunch while trying to remedy the situation.”
“Honestly, I think it’s going to take at least a bag of fancy treats and a new toy before he’ll even consider liking me again.”
Alba followed Ellie through the door and down the corridor, the calmer atmosphere immediately settling around them.
Normally, Ellie ate lunch in her office, the safest place to be, but today marked the beginning of a new school year and a new Ellie.
People would question it when she joined them in the staff room; she had no doubt about that.
They would watch her carefully, searching for signs she was about to break down, but she didn’t care.
After the conversation she and Alba had shared the night before, something inside her had shifted.
She felt more appreciative of everything around her today.
She wouldn’t say she was happy—she hadn’t quite reached that stage yet—but she was closer to it than she had been in a long time.
“Let me get my phone from my office, and then I’ll be in to join you for lunch. ”
Alba smiled. “Cuppa?”
“Go on. I’ll have a green tea if you can find a teabag lying around in one of the many empty boxes.”
Ellie continued down the corridor. It wasn’t often she managed to enjoy an uninterrupted lunch hour, but the first day of term was usually less hectic. Students were still adjusting, and teachers were easing themselves back into their usual routines. She intended to take advantage of that.
Ellie opened the top drawer of her desk and retrieved her phone. For a second, she allowed herself a glance around the room…her sanctuary, her command centre, the place where she had hidden away for far too long. Then she shut the drawer again and headed for the staff room.
Ellie already knew what was about to happen. Everyone would fuss, they always did, but she had a delicious Greek chicken salad waiting in the fridge, and she was determined to eat it before anyone could interfere.
She pushed the door open, and the familiar swell of conversation greeted her instantly.
Laughter bounced around the room, mugs clinked against the counter, and chairs scraped across the floor.
It was nothing more than a typical school day.
And then she spotted Alba across the room, sitting at a table, waiting for her.
Here we go.
One…
Two…
“Ellie, I’ll bring your cup of tea through in a moment.
I’m just waiting for the kettle to boil.
” Susan hurried towards her with that look.
A look Ellie had grown to despise over the past eighteen months.
Soft, pitying, and protective in a way that once made her feel fragile, but now just made her blood boil.
“You know I always bring it to your office. This year is no different.” Susan laid a hand gently on Ellie’s arm. “Go on. I’ll be through in a moment.”
Ellie stepped away from the contact. “That won’t be necessary.”
“But—”
“But nothing, Susan. Alba has made me a cuppa, and I’d like to get my lunch, sit down, and eat it in peace for probably the only time this year.”
Susan frowned as she studied her. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. It always is. However, if I don’t get something to eat in the next thirty seconds, it won’t be.” Ellie sidestepped her and headed straight for the empty slouch chair beside Alba. “One down. Thirty-odd to go.”
Alba leaned closer. “I’m sorry?”
“Susan. She’s already caught me at the door. Sometimes I wonder if she just doesn’t like having me in the staff room.”
Alba nodded. “I see.”
“I’ll just get my lunch, and then I’m not moving from this chair until I absolutely have to.” Ellie groaned as her shoulders sagged ever so slightly. “My feet are already killing me.”
“Yeah. I’m feeling it, too.” Alba nodded towards the fridge. “Go on. Get your lunch before someone steals it.”
“They know better.” Ellie winked before turning for the kitchen area.
She could feel Alba watching her as she crossed the room, but she didn’t mind.
Alba had a way of observing people without making them feel scrutinised.
And Alba wasn’t likely to be looking at her.
Ellie suspected Alba was quietly taking in the measure of the room, while reading the mood and piecing together the dynamics of a staff she’d only just joined.
When Ellie turned around with her lunch container in hand, she spotted Susan standing in the corner with a small cluster of other teachers.
Of course she would already be recounting the brief conversation they’d just had.
Enough was enough. If they had something to say, they could say it here. Right now.
She looked down at Alba, who was halfway through what appeared to be a rather impressive club sandwich. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”
Alba raised a hand to cover her mouth. “I’d be offended if you didn’t,” she said around the bite she was chewing.
She swallowed and gestured to the cup of tea waiting on the table.
“Your tea is steeping. I don’t know how you like it, so I figured it was best to leave it alone and you could take care of that yourself. ”
Ellie’s shoulders loosened as she sat down. For so long, everyone around her had insisted on doing things for her. Small things, well-meaning things, but it just left her feeling as though she was incapable of looking after herself.
She leaned closer to Alba and lowered her voice. “Thank you for not being like the rest of them.”
“I don’t see you the way they do,” Alba replied, shifting her chair a little closer.
“And while I completely understand why they are the way they are to a point, you don’t need me to come in here and react the very same way.
” Ellie nodded and peeled the lid from her lunch container.
“Having said that, you also know I am here if you ever need a friend or to talk.” Alba lifted a hand.
“And now, I’ll say no more about it unless you instigate the conversation. ”
Ellie looked up. Every set of eyes in the room—every single one except Alba’s—was fixed firmly on her.
That was it; she couldn’t do this any longer.
Ellie stood and cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore.
The looks and the constant questions asking if I’m okay.
I know you all mean well,” she paused, forcing herself to meet each person’s gaze in turn, “You’ve all been there for me, and I’ll never forget that, but this is a new school year…
and if I have things my way, a step towards getting my life back in some way. ”
She glanced briefly at Susan before continuing.
“Moving forward, I’ll be eating lunch in here. I don’t need to sit alone in my office because everyone thinks it’s the best thing for me. I lost my daughter, and while I know I can lean on each of you if I need to, I’m ready to move on.”
“Ellie, love.” Susan stepped forward before catching herself when Ellie glared at her. “Sorry.”
“Every time one of you asks me how I’m doing, or if I’m okay, it just reminds me of what I’ve lost. I just…I need it to stop.” Ellie nodded once before sitting back down. “Now, can we all just enjoy this brief moment of calm before the shit inevitably hits the fan in one way or another?”