Chapter 18 #2
Since we are halfway through renovating this cabin, there aren’t any glasses anywhere, so we drink shots out of our empty beer cans while we play a card game I don’t know the name of.
It involves a lot of fast movements to grab cards, which none of us are in the state to do right now.
It’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time.
“Were you waiting for me? You guys clearly were not drunk enough when I got here,” Codie winks.
“You fixed us,” I slur. A bead of sweat falls down my face. I’m burning up in here. It feels like a sauna. “You guys really aren’t too hot? I feel so hot right now. It feels like I’m inside of an oven. And ovens are notoriously hot.”
“No, but if you want we can open some windows,” Erin offers with a shrug.
“Yeah. Yeah maybe we can get a breeze in here,” I nod. This sounds like a great plan. I am on board with this plan.
Parker and Hunter stand from our picnic blanket on the floor to open the windows in the living room. A cool draft blows in, which helps a tiny bit, but not enough. I reach down and touch my skin. It’s pretty red. White marks stay for a few seconds after my fingertips leave my skin.
“Are you okay, Katie?” Codie says, putting her hand on my forehead. “You’re burning up. Do you have a fever?”
“No, I don’t think so. I feel fine. It’s just so hot in here.” I take the hair tie I always keep in my front pocket up, twisting my hair into a high ponytail on top of my head.
“Here, drink some of my water. You could be dehydrated,” Erin offers.
That must be it. Erin is a genius. I take a few swigs of the water and wait for it to kick in. I’m not sure if that’s something water does, but I’m willing to try.
“I’m going to go splash some cold water on my face.” I stand up, a little wobbly, and head to the bathroom.
The cold water feels great. I dry off my face and stare at my reflection for a couple of minutes, trying to cool myself down. So far it’s working. Until my vision goes fuzzy again, and I’m right back in Salt Lake City.
Miles stares back at me from the opposite end of the elevator, going up to the twenty-first floor of my hotel.
We told each other we were coming back here because it was too loud at the bar.
We wanted to talk. To watch a movie. To eat the snacks I’ve stockpiled in my room for this trip.
But we both know what’s going to happen the second we get alone.
His eyes travel up my body, leaving shivers in their wake. How is it possible he can elicit such a reaction from me without even touching me? I want to reach out and grab him but I can’t move from where I stand, leaning up against the cold steel wall.
Miles moves towards me slowly. I brace myself for his touch, to be wrapped up in his arms again. I’m a flame burning with a bright glow every time he touches me. My skin feels hot, like I could combust at any second.
My breath catches as he reaches out to touch my cheeks. But right before he can, the elevator dings, startling us both. Miles stops dead in his tracks before looking at the floor. I grab his hand before he can second guess anything and pull him through the door into the dimly lit hotel hallway.
The sound of loud laughter pulls me out of the memory. I may have been cooling down before, but remembering the night we met hasn’t helped at all. If anything, I’m redder than before. I splash water in my face once more for good measure, towel it off, and head back to the living room.
I thought this would take my mind off of Miles. I thought I could have one fun night without being reminded of the amazing night we had four years ago. Without being reminded that we aren’t like that now. Miles has changed. So have I, but not as much as him.
I miss his smile, his laugh, his casual affection. I had him for such a short time. Just a few hours. But he stuck with me all these years. I left the next morning in a panic because I knew I was in trouble.
That I liked him way too much.
He’s dangerous. The way he makes me feel is dangerous. But at least I always remembered him the way he was that night. Happy. Now, I know he’s not. I’ve seen his sadness, his anger, mostly directed at me. Even worse, I’ve seen his struggle watching his dad slowly get sicker and sicker.
Now that I know those sides of him, I’m more likely to wander too close to the fire and get burned.
I sit back down on the blanket with my new friends as they argue about who won the last round of their card game.
I’m not as drunk as I could be. Between that memory and the water, I’ve sobered up a bit.
Enough to feel a gnawing feeling in my gut, pulling me to Miles like a magnet. And he’s not even here.
“Codie, give me that bottle,” I say, reaching for the Tequila. One more shot will do it. I’ve only had a few anyway, it’s not like I’ve never gotten drunk off Tequila before. I’ll pay in the morning, but if it gets my mind off of Miles, so be it.
I take a swig right from the bottle, eliciting a few cheers from my friends. Codie shoves a lime into my mouth as a chaser, the sourness burning my lips.
As they turn back to their card game, as if some magical force is laughing at me for trying to keep the memories away, I fall into another daydream.
I fumble with the key card to my room as Miles stands so close behind me I can feel the heat radiating off of him. The door finally clicks open, but before I can finish stepping inside to reach for the light switch, he’s turning me around by my shoulders, lips crashing into mine.
Yes.
It’s all I can think, over and over again. Yes.
His hands travel through my hair and I arch into his touch.
I’m vaguely aware of Miles closing the door behind us and spinning us around.
Cold metal once again digging into my back.
Then, it’s my turn to explore him with my hands.
I play with the hem of his shirt as he lets a muffled groan out into my neck.
It’s the invitation I need to rip his shirt off completely. Even in the dark, I can see his eyes boring into mine, so much heat in his gaze I can practically see flames. Then, he’s kissing me again and I’m dissolving into his touch.
Right, right, right, my brain says on repeat. It feels so right. Miles is right for me. I don’t know him very well, but my soul is reaching out for him like we’ve known each other for years.
I’ve got to get out of here. Get some air. Anything to keep these memories from playing on a constant reel in my head. Stumbling a little, I make my way down the hallway.
My hand freezes on the door knob as I catch something out of the corner of my eye.
There, on the railing heading upstairs, is another brand.
Etched deep into the wood in black, as if it’s been there all along.
Even though I know for a fact it hasn’t, because I just finished sanding that exact banister.
Pine trees wrap around the banister, all different heights and shades. They’re drawn so intricately that I can see the needles even from a few steps away.
A bead of sweat trails down my temple. I must still be seeing things.
Miles’s weight settles on my hips, his knees nudging mine apart. A shiver races through me as he runs the back of his hand along my cheek. Those warm brown eyes bore deep into mine, not just looking at me, but seeing me.
“Are you sure about this?” His hand moves to my chin, tipping it up so our lips almost touch. His warm breath skates across my cheek. He dips down and presses a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth.
“I’m sure,” I nod. My hands roam of their own accord, tracing the indents in his back. I reach down, pulling his hips into mine until there’s no space between us.
He groans into my mouth as his tongue pushes past my lips. I let him in, deepening our kiss until we are a tangle of teeth and tongues. I can’t tell where I end and Miles begins. There’s no softness anymore, only urgency and need.
His hand slides down my body, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He stops just shy of where I want him, dipping just slightly under the waistband of my panties. A frustrated growl erupts from my throat as he draws little teasing circles on my skin.
“Miles,” I plead. Burning hunger rushes through me like a flame, bursting from my core.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “So impatient. I’m getting there, Mac.”
Flipping him onto his back, I reach down and fumble with his belt until it comes loose. As soon as I wrangle his jeans off his hips, I cup him through his boxers giving him just enough pressure to make him groan.
“So impatient,” I tease back at him with a grin. He smiles onto my lips.
My breath hitches as his arms wrap around my waist, flipping me onto my back again.
Miles peppers soft kisses down my neck, making his way down my stomach. Breath is hot against my skin. A molten hot ache fills my core. I reach for his shoulders, trying to get enough of a grip to pull him back up to me.
“Miles, please. I want you.”
His gaze meets mine, eyes dark and steely. “I want to take my time with you, Katie. Memorize every curve, every freckle, every fucking inch of you. You’re perfect.”
I blink away the memories, flinging the door open.
Wholly unprepared for what I see when I open the door.
All of those old feelings come flooding back to me so intensely I falter, almost falling down on the floor.
The only thing holding me up is sheer will.
I’m pulling on the door knob so hard I’m sure it’ll break off.
Black hair falling over his forehead. Eyes burning with a flame I can’t explain. One strong arm lifted as if he was about to knock. The only difference is the beard and the scowl on his face.
Miles.