10. Ben
Ben
T he fancy high-class restaurant was fancy and high-class.
I forced Rian to pick the restaurant since he was likely to be the most uncomfortable.
He chose Ascent, a swanky restaurant in downtown San Francisco.
It required me dropping my name to get a reservation on short notice but had the benefit of being a place I’d eaten before.
I tried not to admit it out loud, but I couldn’t shake the preference of being in public places I’d been to before. I didn’t have the floor mapped at Ascent, but we’d gone there for a birthday dinner a couple of years ago, so it wasn’t completely new.
We arrived early and took our seats. I set my cane next to my chair.
Ember assured us that once we accepted the date with Cindy, she’d had access to our profiles, so we weren’t springing it on our date tonight that I was blind.
Ember also told me she would call Cindy and make sure the beta had a safe space to ask questions, an extra touch I was impressed with.
Normally I hated it when someone “found out” I was blind, and I was still around. They always sounded shocked, like I’m managed to cleverly hide it from them.
Maybe because I didn’t wear dark sunglasses. Because I didn’t usually “act” blind, whatever that meant. Considering I’d been legally blind my entire life, I wasn’t sure what sighted people thought of as “acting blind.”
The waiter came over and brought us water, but we opted to wait for Cindy before ordering anything.
Before we left for the restaurant, I had my Seeing AI app read me the menu out loud. I already knew what I wanted, but judging from the slight rustle of paper to my left, Rian was flipping through.
“You want an appetizer? Those stuffed mushrooms sound good.” Rian touched my hand.
I’d already assumed we were ordering the stuffed mushrooms since my omega hadn’t met a stuffed mushroom he didn’t like. “Sure.”
“The garlic spinach and parmesan dip sounds good too.” Rian sounded distracted.
I mentally canceled the dip. I didn’t feel like navigating a first date while also trying to keep the dip on the chip and get it into my mouth. In public. I was secretly pleased I was comfortable enough at home eating dip that Rian didn’t think to question it.
So much of my disability was trying to maintain my skills, reminding people that I could do almost everything for myself, but also not being too proud to ask for help.
Could I have walked through the crowded restaurant without Rian being my sighted guide?
Sure, that was what my cane was for. Swinging the red-and-white cane in front of me showed me where tables, chairs, and other obstacles were, and also had the benefit of making people get out of the way.
But I didn’t mind his help, and it was a nice excuse to touch him.
It was the first time we’d been on a date with another person in ages, and I tried not to feel like it should have been Ember.
I’d keep an open mind and see what happened.
The soft cuff of Rian’s shirt was fun to trace my finger over. Rian told me he wore a white dress shirt with black slacks. I’d picked out my own outfit to complement his, and wore black slacks and a light blue shirt Rian told me brought out the blue of my eyes.
“Hi, I’m Cindy,” a bright, friendly voice said. She was close to the table and, judging by the sound coming higher than our heads, standing.
“I’m Rian.” Rian stood up and managed to sound halfway pleasant.
I stood up as well and gave her a smile. “I’m Ben. Nice to meet you.”
“Thanks for meeting me. What a nice place.” She laughed a little.
“I’ll get your chair.” Rustling sounds came next, and I sat down, timing it so I could match it to the scrape of the wood on the floors. I assumed Rian was pushing her chair in.
Movement to my right, and then Rian sat down in his own chair in a cloud of smoky amber.
“We haven’t ordered anything yet,” I said. “We were waiting for you.”
“Thanks.” Paper rustled again, and her voice took on a thoughtful tone. “I’ve never been here. I’ve heard amazing things.”
“I’m glad we chose it.” I listened to Rian shifting in his seat, and the soft clink of silverware, He was probably playing with his fork. The restaurant was lit nicely; it didn’t hurt my eyes even to sit near a light like we were.
The world was a layer of gray shadows and blobs. Even though Cindy was only two feet away from me, I only saw a big gray shadow that was slightly lighter gray than the person sitting at the table behind her.
I’d already had her profile read to me. Cindy was a blonde, blue-eyed, beta woman who worked as a marketing executive in San Francisco. She was thirty, five years younger than I was, and one year older than Rian. She liked the ocean, running along the beach, and going to aquariums.
I could see why the algorithm matched her so highly. She seemed like a nice blend of my and Rian’s personalities. She smelled pleasant, like baby power and freesia.
“We were talking about an appetizer,” Rian said. “Stuffed mushrooms?”
“Oh, sure,” she said. Her tone of voice was a little high-pitched. I didn’t know her well enough to say if it was nerves or she didn’t like mushrooms but was trying to be agreeable.
“We could order a couple of appetizers if you’d like,” I offered.
“Mushrooms sound good.” She paused. “Have you two been with Cosmic Bonds long?”
“Nope.” I drank from my glass, the water cool against my lips. “You’re our first date.” I injected cheer in my voice.
“That’s wonderful.” She sounded genuinely pleased. “I’ve been on three dates. It was fine, but the chemistry wasn’t there.”
“My name is Marco and I’ll be your server for the evening.” The waiter’s voice came from my left.
Years of practice kept the surprise off my face. Another reason restaurants weren’t high on the list of my favorite things. It was harder to hear people. The soft sound of conversations floated around me, and it took a lot of concentration to listen for footsteps on the plush carpet.
“Can I start us out with some wine?” the waiter asked.
“None for me. I’m the designated driver.” I winked at Cindy and she gave a nervous chuckle.
Rian tapped my forearm. “He thinks he’s hilarious.”
“That’s because I am.”
Rian let out a long-suffering sigh, and I grinned. I had an entire repertoire of blind jokes I used to make sighted people more comfortable. I was hilarious.
“Can I have a glass of Bordeaux?” A pause from my omega and he said, “What would you like to drink?”
“Oh, ummm, the Bordeaux sounds lovely.”
“Excellent choice.” The waiter shifted his weight, the fabric of his pants making a soft sound. “Can I start you all off with an appetizer?”
Rian ordered the mushrooms, and the waiter left.
“How did you get into executive marketing?” I asked. I would be kind and attentive, and this would be a nice first date. I wasn’t over the moon over her scent, but scents weren’t everything.
“I got a marketing degree, and the firm headhunted me after I graduated,” she said, and paused. “I don’t mean to be rude, but did you need help with the menu?” She sounded uncertain.
Annoyance flashed through our bond, and I pushed calmness at Rian. I’d already told him to expect questions about me being blind. I was fine with it. It wasn’t like she was a complete stranger off the street trying to interrogate me.
“I’m okay, thanks.” I gave her a pleasant smile. “There’s an app on my phone that reads out loud, so I do that before I come to a restaurant.”
“That sounds great,” she said. “Have you been blind your whole life or…”
“Basically.” I ignored more annoyance coming from Rian.
His chair squeaked a bit. I didn’t feel like going into the entire ins and outs of my diagnosis, but I figured giving her the big picture, ha ha ha, another funny joke, would satisfy some of her curiosity.
“My vision has always been really blurry, but it’s gotten worse over time.
I mostly only see gray shadows with blobs. ”
“I’m so sorry.” She sounded sorry too.
“It’s okay.” I tried for another smile. “I don’t really know what I’m missing. I enjoy the life I have.” I squeezed Rian’s hand, happy he hadn’t moved it from where it was last.
“Your appetizer,” the waiter said, and the click of a plate hitting the table came. A meaty aroma of baked mushrooms swimming in cheese and butter hit me. “Are we ready to order?”
A slight pause in conversation. I assumed Rian and or Cindy were looking at each other.
“I am,” I said. “How about you two?”
“Yes, me too,” Cindy said quickly.
I made life eating in public easier on myself and picked steak with some sides while Rian got his usual carb extravaganza of shrimp alfredo. Cindy ordered the salmon.
The waiter refilled our glasses. “Can I get you anything else?”
“I’m great, thank you.” Rian shifted in his seat, sounding less great by the minute. He was very protective of me.
I was used to people acting like my blindness was the worst thing they could ever imagine. It was annoying, of course, and people could be utterly selfish assholes, but mostly I lived my life.
Absolutely everything in our society was centered on the idea that you could see, but this was the twenty-first century. I was a lucky bastard to be born in the era of smartphones that could work around almost every issue that came with my disability.
My mouth watered as the scent of butter, parmesan, and earthy mushrooms wafted up again. Rian served me some mushrooms, and we made small talk. The weather, our different jobs, recent movies we’d seen.
The food arrived, and I took my time cutting my steak. I kept my water on my ten o’clock and my wine on my two o’clock. I almost spilled the wine when the waiter set the glass down in the wrong spot, but I managed to recover with a wobble.
Cindy spoke easily, but I could feel her attention on me during some of the pauses. Rian helped in that sense, because his annoyance always spiked at the same time.