Tyler #2
“Just because we haven’t spoken doesn’t mean I don’t consider you a friend, Indy. You can talk to me. What’s up?”
Finding a place to sit, she takes a moment, looking around, almost contemplating if she wants to share. At first, I think she’s going to reconsider and keep walking. Then she takes a deep breath and finally relents and takes a seat.
When she pulls her sunglasses off, I realize her eyes are puffy, as if she’s been crying.
“Shit, Indy. You’ve been crying. What happened?” I reach out and touch her cheek.
Her chin quivers and she gives a slight shake of her head. “I feel like my world has just been rocked. I don’t know what to do about it, Ty.”
She looks away again. It’s only then I realize a tear is falling down her cheek.
“Did Derek hurt you?” I feel my molars grind.
Derek was her boyfriend up until a few weeks before graduation.
They broke up right before prom. I heard through the gossip mill he started dating one of her close friends and it was a whole thing between the senior class.
He was always a dick. But, then again, everyone at the school—Indy aside—was a jerk in my opinion.
“No, it has nothing to do with that. He’s an asshole, but I knew that already. I wasn’t planning on marrying him or anything, even if my parents loved him.” She laughs, but there’s no substance behind it.
“Then what is it?”
“Ugh, this is so hard.” She looks up to the sky and wipes the stray tears that are now falling uncontrollably. “I don’t want to cry, but once I start, I can’t stop.”
“It’s okay to cry. It’s just me,” I tell her. There was a time we used to tell each other everything. She would even pass me notes between classes. I loved those little moments together.
“Well, I’ve been sick. It’s been going on for the last few months.
At first, I thought it was nothing. And sorry for the overshare, but it’s been this weird digestive thing.
I won’t go into too much detail. But I was sort of ignoring it.
You know, thinking it was stress because of exams, and then the whole thing with Derek.
Then there was college applications, and getting ready to move into the dorms. The whole nine yards; it was all piling on.
” She gestures with her hands in a circular motion.
“Well, this morning, I was nearly toppling over in pain. My stomach was really bad, so my parents got worried and they took me to the emergency room. To give a little backstory. You know my brother, Bryce?”
I nod. I’ve seen him in passing, but he’s four years older than us, so I don’t know him well. He’s in college studying something way too complicated for me to try to understand well.
“Well, he did this complex assignment a while back regarding genetics; he only did it on my parents and himself. Turns out he and my parents are type O blood. Then today, while at the hospital, they did bloodwork on me and once they got those back, I saw I’m type AB.
” She swings her gaze at me. “Tyler, if both my parents are type O—there’s no way I can be their child.
Not biologically at least. So, I confronted them about it. And it’s true; I’m adopted.”
Right then, two tears escape down her cheek. The look of devastation nearly cripples me. “Oh, Indy. I’m sorry.” I pull her to my chest.
She sobs into me and I rub circles over her back. I kiss the top of her head.
“They’ve lied to me all these years. This whole time, they could've told me and they haven’t. They’ve asked for honesty and respect from me. They’ve asked for so much from me and they couldn’t even give me honesty in return. Why, Tyler? Why couldn’t they just do that much for me?”
Her questions and heartache are valid. I have no answers for her.
So, all I do is hold her and continue rubbing reassuring circles as she cries.
And she sobs into my chest even harder. I hold her until I feel her breaths even out.
I wish I could've held her in my arms forever, the warmth of her body in my arms feels like home to me, something I didn’t realize I was missing after all these years.
She pushes at some strands of hair that have clung to her forehead.
“And it’s not that I’m upset that they adopted me because they’ve given me a great life.
It’s that they’ve given me such restrictions to my life.
They’re so strict. Look how they treated you!
” She throws her hands in the air in protest. “I’ve lived a confined life in many ways.
I’ve even been punished when I went outside the lines, but they couldn’t even be straightforward about my own past. How is that fair? ”
“Did they give an explanation as to why they made that choice?” I ask her.
“They said they got scared I would leave them or not love them.” She rolls her eyes. “That feels so unfair though. They never gave me a chance to form that opinion. I hate that they did that to me. You know?”
I nod because that’s unfair that they pushed her life into a corner without her knowledge or consent. Especially as she got older.
“I have friends that are adopted, and their parents made their adoption story so positive. It doesn’t have to be a negative thing. I just don’t get it.”
“Your feelings are valid. I’m so sorry.” Her green eyes have a halo of gold, then in the center it’s brown.
It’s the most unique eye color I’ve ever seen.
Now that I know she’s adopted, it makes sense why she looks so different from Bryce.
Her brother has the darkest hair and eyes compared to her, although their fair complexion is similar.
“Were you able to get any answers about your health? I mean, it seems you need to figure out what’s going on there?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “No. I left in such a hurry. I got a ride-share to my house and grabbed my car. Then I came straight here. Bryce called me and asked me to fill him in on what happened. I guess our mom called him in hysterics.” She rolls her eyes and continues, “And he wants to know if I’m running away or something. ”
“Is that what you’re going to do? Run away?”
“I mean, I feel like I’ve lived a life by their standards, and I sort of don’t want to anymore.
Remember I told you I didn’t want to be a surgeon like they wanted?
I mean, that’s their life. They're cardiac surgeons and I was doing that to stay in the family business, but I don’t even want to do that. ”
“Yeah, you mentioned that, but then said you had grown to like the idea of it. I think someone at school said you got into some big school in California,” I tell her.
“Yeah, I got into Central Coast University. It's a big deal. A huge deal. But that’s their old school, where they met. It’s their life, not mine. I was doing it to make them happy. But it’s not what I want. And I’m sick of living the life they want for me,” she tells me.
“What do you want then?”
“I want my own life, as hard as that might be. I think that’s what I need to do— find my own happiness,” she says.
“Then do whatever’s needed to achieve that. You won’t be able to live a fulfilling life until you run after the life you want.”
“But how do I do that? How do I go after that with a health issue now? I mean, I need insurance. I’ll need a job and I still want to go to school, but I won’t go on their dime.
I’m going to do it on my own. I’ll put myself through the future I see for myself, even though it’s going to suck. ” She drops her head into her hands.
I look out over the view, the calm in front of us providing the serenity we’ve both come here to find. This day has had so many winding turns, each one with its own obstacles.
“What if I gave you a solution to the insurance part?” I look over at her.
“What do you mean?” She looks over at me in confusion.
“I can at least help with one. But it will require a bit of rebellion on your part.” I give her a sly smile.
“What kind of rebellion?” She laughs.
“The kind that’s more my style than yours.” I nudge her with my shoulder.
“Oh gosh. I’m scared to ask more.”
“Do you trust me?” I ask her.
“You’ve never lied to me before,” she says, her smile growing.
I stand up, putting my hand out for her to grab.
Hours later, we lay together in a hotel room; laughing, making promises, and holding each other.
Wrapped together in the hotel sheets, I memorize every little piece of her.
I’m cataloguing each touch, each motion, each second, because I have no idea if I’ll ever get to feel this close to Indiana again.
Then I grasp her left hand in mine, and the feel of our wedding bands touching is a reminder of our little secret. I’ll carry it with me as we start our lives; moving in separate directions after this. But I’ll hold a piece of tonight with me every step of the way.