Chapter 37 Tyler
Tyler
Standing in front of Indiana’s door, I’m acutely aware this is my final chance with her. With the way my hands are shaking in anticipation of seeing her, I’m surprised I was able to ride my motorcycle here. I called Malloy to give me a pep talk on my way over.
Not sure what he gave could be considered pep.
It was more like a lecture. Then Baylee snatched the phone and told me not to “fuck things up”—her words, not mine.
She stated Malloy was moping around because I was sad.
Apparently, I was throwing her husband off.
That made me laugh. The guy is way too sensitive.
The minute I hung up, the nerves and tension returned. I thought it was our interaction at the pizza place that had her calling me. But Malloy admitted he handed off my letters earlier today. I assume that’s why I’ve been asked to come by.
I don’t want her to think I omitted those letters as a form of lying; that’s not the case. I just thought she’d either hear me out and accept me back, or not. It felt desperate to start throwing more letters in her face after she asked me to leave.
I’m about to ring the bell when Kalli swings the door open.
“Uh, hey, Kalli. I wasn’t expecting you.”
Kalli gives me a mischievous smile. “Oh, I know. Listen, Indy’s grabbing a jacket. I came by to watch Noah while you two get out of here.”
“Thanks.” I move my hands through my hair.
“You got this, Tyler. You’ve got to be honest with her, got it?” She looks me straight in the eyes. “I’m rooting for you.”
I smile shyly. “I appreciate that.”
“Tyler, hey.” Indy makes her way to the front door, and I can’t help the way my heart squeezes at the sight of her.
“Hi, Indy.” I smile at her. I see a small blush paint her cheeks.
Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, with a few strands falling down around her cheeks.
Her face is clear of makeup, unlike earlier tonight at the restaurant.
Her lips are fucking kissable, but I keep my distance, waiting at the stoop.
I felt possessive earlier, but now I let the nerves get the best of me.
“Okay, you two. Out you go.” Kalli pushes Indy out the door.
“Kalli!” Indy whisper-yells.
“I’m not getting any younger. Go, please.” She gives Indy a saccharine smile, then closes the door.
I can’t help the laugh that escapes while Indy looks at her front door that is now closed behind us. Bringing her gaze toward me, she seems a bit uncomfortable over what to do next.
“Shall we?” I gesture to my motorcycle that’s parked at the curb.
“Um, I can drive,” she says, her voice a little wobbly.
“Nope, you asked me to pick you up. I’ve got a spot in mind,” I tell her, handing her a helmet.
She’s dressed in jeans and I brought an extra jacket to protect her arms. Luckily, she’s wearing closed-toed shoes.
“I’ve never been on a bike before,” she says, eyeing mine.
“There’s a first time for everything,” I tell her with a smirk.
“I guess there is.” Grabbing the helmet, she tugs it over her head. I slide the jacket over her shoulders while she moves her arms through the sleeves.
I’m trying to compose myself, but seeing her in this getup is doing things to me. I take a moment to take in the sight of her.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Her voice is muffled behind the helmet.
“You look good, that’s all,” I say, moving myself over my bike. She follows behind me, tentative with her movements.
“You okay back there?” I ask her.
“As I’ll ever be,” she says, her hands a bit unsettled as she moves them along my sides.
I grab her hands and glide them so she’s holding me tightly. “We’re going to be moving fast. I’ll need you to hold on a bit stronger than that.” I move so she can feel the firm grip I have on her hands.
I turn on the engine, and begin our ride. The moment the bike is in motion, I hear a little squeak from behind me. I feel her grip tighten around me and I revel in the feeling of her hands on my abdomen.
As we move through the streets, I savor her body close to mine.
Her front on my back, the warmth of her against me is something I’ve ached for in more ways than one.
It dawns on me that I pushed this woman away from me and I will do anything to win her back tonight. I need to make sure she knows that.
It feels like forever, yet not enough time, as we move through the busyness of the city streets until we reach our destination.
I found this lookout point that faces the city skyline last year on a ride I took, and I’ve been coming here ever since.
The moment Indy texted me tonight and asked to be picked up, I thought it was the best place to come.
The sun is near setting, but there’s great lighting here, even after the sun has gone down.
We make our way to a good spot where we can see the beauty of the city and I can park my motorcycle, and I turn off the engine. As soon as there’s silence, I stomp the kickstand down. Indy pulls her hands off me and I miss her contact immediately.
She begins coming off the bike, and once we’re both standing, we take our helmets off. Placing them to the side of the motorcycle, I sit back down, facing the back of the bike. Then I pat the back, where she was sitting.
“What?” She looks at me quizzically.
“Sit down, Indy,” I tell her.
“No,” she says defiantly.
“Indiana, sit down, please.” I won’t back down.
“That’s too close.” She crosses her arms over her chest.
“Sit your butt down on this bike and let’s have a conversation.” I pat the bike again.
She looks at the seat like it has poison on it, then looks back up at me. She’s contemplating her options then finally rolls her eyes and succumbs to whatever internal battle she was waging.
She still keeps herself as far away from me as possible, but hopefully after tonight, we can put our differences in the past. No matter the mental turmoil, Indy and I need to talk.
“Hands to yourself, Tyler.” Her left eyebrow cocks up in a questioning gaze as she leans her body against the tail end of my motorcycle.
“Hey, I’m a complete gentleman.” I smile, but she can read me well.
My mind is racing with thoughts of her on this bike and my body doing dirty things.
All I want to do is move my hands up her legs.
Instead, I decide to focus on the task at hand.
“Why don’t you tell me why you asked me to take you out. ”
“I read your letters, Malloy brought them by. Why didn’t you tell me you had two more that you never sent me?” She doesn’t seem mad, just curious.
“I was grieving. One of those letters I wrote the day Georgie died. It was right before we headed out on that patrol. I didn’t feel like that version of myself anymore.
Then, when I wrote the second one, fear took over.
What if I sent it and you didn’t take me back because of the lie I told?
I feared the rejection. I ended up not wanting to.
” I look down at my hands. Finally, I bring my head back up.
“I just couldn’t bring myself to send it.
My therapist kept urging me to, but by then, I talked myself out of it, convincing myself you’ve finally moved on.
We still spoke through video sessions as I kept moving throughout the states.
I never imagined your life had imploded.
And I thought that by sending it, it would have just made things worse, so I kept to myself. ”
She sighs and looks away. I see her swipe at her cheek.
“Indy, talk to me,” I urge her.
She shakes her head, but it’s hard to stay rooted in place. She looks up at the night sky, probably in an attempt to keep from letting more tears fall.
“Tell me why you’re crying.” I finally reach over to touch her and move a strand of hair away from her forehead.
Her chin quivers, but she remains silent. I decide to push her further. “Indiana, we aren’t going to get anywhere if you don’t tell me what’s going on. Are you crying because of Roger?”
She shakes her head. “Roger and I broke up.”
Thank fuck.
“Are you scared of me?” Shit, did I read this wrong?
“Yes, but not like that. I’m scared you’ll leave me. You have to understand that I have a kid now. My brother trusted him with me. With us, actually.”
“I know, Indy. And what I did—” I halt at the realization of her words. “What do you mean us?”
Indy looks down at her hands and takes a deep breath. I can tell by the way she’s taking her time, that she’s choosing her words wisely. I wait until she finally looks up at me, tears pooled in her eyes.
“That’s why I’ve waited so long to end things between us.
When Bryce died, he knew about our marriage.
Remember when I told you I confided in him about our letters and all those packages I’d send you?
Well, I told him how my feelings for you had grown, too.
Besides you, Bryce was my best friend. I guess he wanted to know that Noah would be cared for if something were to ever happen to him.
” She looks up to the stars above us, the tears escaping as she closes her eyes.
When she opens her eyes again, she looks back at me, determination cast on her face.
“Did you know that a will is just a wish a parent relays when it comes to custody? The true determination comes down to the judge. Bryce stated in his will that he wanted Noah left to both of us in the event of his passing.”
I can’t help the way my heart is pounding in my chest. I just keep looking at Indy, hanging on her every word.