11. Baylee
Baylee
I’ve been avoiding Tucker since that day he dropped me off on campus for orientation.
Is it immature? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely not.
I just don’t feel like dealing with my emotional freak out with him right now.
I don’t want to have the conversation with him regarding how that rejection felt. It’s on me, not him.
I get it, he didn’t feel the same thing erupting between us that summer.
It’s embarrassing and I don’t want to dwell on it.
I assumed he was finally reciprocating my feelings back then and I was obviously imagining it.
But then to hear that the date he went on was fake just set something off in me, I had to get away from him. The car felt suffocating.
So no, I don’t want to face him and have him pretty much say, “Oh, Baylee, you silly, naive little girl, I don’t see you like that.
I just see you as my neighbor and my best friend’s little sister.
Please don’t hate me. And you’re living with me because I also feel bad for you that your sick, monstrous ex-boyfriend hit you and you need to recover. ” Blah, blah, blah.
Okay, I need to seek some help because I’m having full imaginary conversations now. But that’s how I imagine Tucker talking to me. He’s a pretty sweet guy and I doubt he’d be demeaning in any way. I need to get out of this hole of self-pity I’m sitting in right now.
In all my years of crushing on Tucker, I never sat around and contemplated it like this.
So why now? How is it consuming me this way?
It all comes down to the timing of my relationship with Myles and the way he sucked out my self-esteem.
This narrative I’ve written for myself is taking a toll on how I interpret the person I see reflected in the mirror today.
I’m walking on campus and today is the first time I haven’t been looking over my shoulder.
Officer Tamos called me last night, letting me know Myles was arrested.
The judge signed the arrest warrant and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.
I’m still in shock how long it took for the warrant to go through, but with his mother being a big-time attorney in the state, I shouldn’t have even questioned she would fight tooth and nail to ensure her son would avoid time behind bars.
I should simply feel grateful an arrest was made.
I have to come to terms with the fact that Myles will likely be out on bail though.
Officer Tamos explained the probability is high that it would happen quickly with his mother being motivated to get her son back to normal life.
Luckily, he has to stay within the state of Connecticut, so being in Boston, I should be safely away from him.
I sent a text to my family to give an update late last night.
I also sent a text to Tucker separately, even though he was in the next room from me.
I make it to my class and I’m greeted by Jacob and Sydney.
I met them at the orientation. They weren’t new to the school, but they were running the program that day and we instantly clicked.
It was simply lucky they were in my kinesiology class and were all in the same major.
Sydney is also double-majoring in sports medicine so she’s been helping me get acclimated into the university lifestyle and it’s been an easy transition .
I can’t ignore how much I miss my old roommates, though we’ve FaceTimed since I moved.
They got back to the apartment two days after the attack.
Danny was able to meet them there with the new keys.
They let me know Myles hasn’t shown up at all, nor have they seen him on campus.
My brother had gotten an alarm system installed that week after the attack, getting some cameras put in place for their peace of mind.
They’re planning a trip out to Boston to come visit me in the next couple weeks and I can’t wait.
Because of everything that happened with Myles, I’ve decided to stay here and they’ve been understanding about everything going on.
I know that with the charges I had to file I’ll have to make my way back to Connecticut once we get closer to a hearing date, but I won’t do so until I absolutely have to.
My brother left my car with my parents, but I’ve been able to either get a ride or use a ride share app to get around the city. All my things are now at Tucker’s apartment, and I’m fully settled.
“Hey, how are you?” Jacob smiles up at me.
I grab a seat next to him. “I’m good. Trying to get back into the swing of things now that classes have started.”
“I know. I want to throw my alarm across the room.” Sydney moans.
“Well, maybe if you didn’t go to every frat party.” Jacob nudges her.
“You should talk. Your frat is one of the ones I go to every week.” She yawns.
“You should come, Baylee,” Jacob tells me.
“They’re fun. We have a house off campus and the parties are usually Fridays and Saturdays.
Friday we have a home football game, and we’ll host a party, then Saturday we’ll just have something chill at the house.
I’ll admit, Friday will get a bit more rowdy though, so if you’re wanting something more laid back, Saturday is probably the way to go. ”
“They’re a ton of fun,” Sydney chimes in .
I laugh while grabbing my items from my bag. “Yeah, I don’t know.” I still haven’t told them everything that happened with Myles. I’m keeping it close to my chest.
“Please come. It would be fun to have you around,” Sydney adds. “The parties are epic. You can join me and my girlfriends. Just let me know if you decide to come. You can always text me, I’ll swing by your place and pick you up. I usually DD. I don’t care to drink at these things.”
“Let’s just say, Sydney sort of had a rough freshman year with Jose Cuervo, so she would rather dance the night away instead. She saw the contents of that drink coming back up and it was not pretty—ow!” Jacob yelps.
“I thought we weren’t going to talk about that ever again, Jacob!” she counters.
He looks over at me. “I never promised that. She looked like the exorcist that night.” He laughs as Sydney shoots daggers at him.
“Okay, I’ll let you know.” I chuckle at their exchange.
Our professor walks in and we quiet down.
It feels good to find my place bit by bit here, even if it’s just with two friends in such a big university.
I only have a year to get my classes done here and I’ll soon begin another chapter, this time in my professional life.
The bruises of my past are still healing and I honestly want to put that part of my life behind me.
But as I move forward, I’d like to take the old parts of me back.
I just hope I won’t carry the broken pieces with me.
I’m walking back to the apartment and I’m totally wiped after the long day of classes. Luckily, I don’t have too much work to do tonight. I’m just ready to change out of these clothes and get into pajamas.
As I get closer to the front door, I hear voices. I quickly realize they’re right in front of my door. I approach and the moment they see me, I notice their eyes bulge a bit.
“Um, hey.” I get my keys out.
“Oh, hi! You must be Baylee,” the brunette says as she moves a stroller by her side with an infant sleeping inside.
She’s short with long brown hair and stunning blue eyes.
I look over and the woman to her side is tall and blonde.
She looks straight out of a magazine. Her blue eyes are piercing and I have no idea who either of them are.
“May I help you?” I can’t hide the bite in my tone.
“Yeah, sorry, we’re waiting on Malloy,” the blonde one says.
“Oh, um, he’s not home,” I tell them. I unlock the door, but don’t hold it open to give them space to follow me.
“That’s fine, we’ll wait for him to get home,” the blonde one says.
Okay, what in the world is happening? And who are these women? Does he date two women at the same time? Is he into people with babies now? Not that I could blame him, they’re beautiful.
“I’m sorry. Can someone catch me up? Who are you?” I stand at the door.
“I’m so sorry. I’m Abby and this is Kennedy. This here”—she points at the sleeping baby— “is my daughter Ella.” She smiles down, the love pouring out of her.
Oh, now I feel like an asshole. This is the famous Abby. She’s breathtaking. And he had no attraction to this woman? That’s surprising.
“Tucker didn’t tell me you were coming over. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you,” I explain.
“We have book club tonight. It starts”—Kennedy looks down at her watch— “well, now. But he probably went to get snacks because he’s not prepared. Figures.”
“Kennedy, retract the claws,” Abby tells her.
“I’m hungry and River was being a pain in my ass. He keeps giving me demands for the wedding. Who knew the groom could be so fussy.” She rolls her eyes.
“Because you’re marrying a high maintenance child,” Abby says, and I can’t help the snort that escapes.
I’ve only met River a few times, but that’s an accurate description. He’s incredibly high energy and I can only imagine him being a lot to handle.
“I heard that snort, I like you already,” Kennedy says. “Now, can we come in?”
“Oh, yes. No problem. Sorry,” I tell them.
“Thanks so much,” Abby says.
“I hope you don’t mind. I’m going to go change. I’ve been in classes all day. Make yourselves at home. Do you want me to get you anything before I go to my room?” I ask them.
“No, don’t worry about us. We’ll grab it if we need anything,” Abby says.
“Okay. Just holler if you need me. I’ll be right back,” I tell them.
I’m walking back and I hear a quick “I like her a lot” from Kennedy, and a smile spreads across my face. I don’t know why having Kennedy’s approval means something to me. I barely said anything, and what I did say wasn’t very nice.
After freshening up and changing into something a little more comfortable, I make my way back into the living room. The moment I reach them again, Abby has Ella in her arms, but it’s the conversation that has me halting in my tracks.
“Okay, explain that again. You’re telling me that they’re injecting what where now?” That’s coming from Abby.
“Oh, you heard it right the first time. They’re injecting filler in their labia,” Kennedy explains.
“Why? I mean, no judgement, but why?” Abby asks.
How long was I in my room? Is this what women talk about after having kids? And how destroyed does someone’s pussy get after giving birth? Actually, I don’t want to know. I may never give birth if I find out .
“Because some women feel like it deflates too much after giving birth and they want to plump that area up,” Kennedy explains.
“I mean, Clay hasn’t complained.” Abby shrugs. “But now I’m going to ask.”
I’m still standing here like a statue, frozen in place as they have the conversation, although they can see me. I’m not invisible, but I wish I was.
“Hi, Baylee. Did you know women are injecting filler in their labia after giving birth?” Kennedy asks me like we’re lifelong friends.
I continue standing there, unable to form words. Damn it Baylee, you’re not a fucking scared woman that shies away from conversations like this. Why are you being this way?
I finally find my voice. “No, I can’t say I have.”
“I guess the camel-toe is in. First nipples showing through the bra, now this,” Abby says.
“Puffing up the kitty cat.” I laugh. But I don’t stop there, I gesture the words with a motion of my hands. Of course, I say this right when Tucker walks through the door.
Wonderful, this is a great way to start seeing Tucker again after my hiatus from us being around one another. Perfect. Absolutely beautiful timing.
“Ladies,” Tucker nods toward us, “I see you’ve begun corrupting Baylee.”
“Oh, I was well on my way to being corrupted before meeting them.” I laugh.
I make my way over to the kitchen to help him unpack the bags of groceries he places on the kitchen island.
“May I ask what in the world you’re talking about?” Tucker asks Kennedy and Abby.
“Yes, you may ask,” Kennedy says.
“We were talking about how the labia deflates after childbirth and now some women are opting to put filler into that part of the body to plump it up,” Abby says as she peppers kisses along her daughter’s face.
“Fucking hell,” Tucker says to himself. “Why do I hang out with you two again?”
“Because you don’t have friends,” Kennedy retorts.
“I could hang out with your significant others instead,” he says back.
“You know they’re not as cool.” She flips him off.
“You’re such an asshole, Kennedy.”
“There’s a baby around now, Malloy. Language.” She double-birds him.
A laugh escapes as I watch this juvenile behavior.
“Can you two stop? We don’t want to scare Baylee this early on in book club. She won’t come to the next meeting,” Abby says.
“She’s not in book club,” Tucker’s quick to add.
“She lives here,” Abby adds.
“Yeah, I live here,” I tell him, grabbing the pre-made tray, giving him the bird as well.
“I fucking love her,” Kennedy says.
“She hasn’t read the book,” Tucker continues to add.
“Yeah, but I did listen to a little bit between Anton and, who was it again Tucker?” I glance back at him.
He’s squinting at me. “Robin,” he says between gritted teeth.
“That’s right, Robin. I heard that little romp in the sack. They were in a heated labial pounding of their own. She might need filling after that thorough pummeling. Though, she had some filler of her own, didn’t she, Tucker?” I laugh.
Kennedy and Abby laugh and the redness that takes over Tucker’s face is priceless.
“Fine, she can be in book club. But if River or Clay ask to join, I won’t say no. I’ll give them a pass.” He points at Abby and Kennedy.
They both look unfazed. He then goes to grab Ella and she gives him a big toothless smile.
He snuggles her, and I think my ovaries explode at the sight of this big teddy bear of a man holding this tiny little baby in his arms. But then I remember my walls are up toward him at the moment.
So, I push aside my feelings of lust even though this man in front of me has the ability to melt my insides at every turn without even trying.