19. Tucker #2
“Oh, I’m completely satisfied by that entire interaction.” She looks up at me and smiles.
I bend down and capture her lips. Unfortunately, the elevator interrupts us too soon and I have to break away from her. I can’t wait to get her home and lose myself in everything that is Baylee.
It’s been two months since Baylee moved in with me, and a little over a month since we became more than roommates. We can’t get enough of one another, and I won’t lie, I’ve never been happier. She brings me a type of happiness I never imagined possible.
When I felt this connection between us last year, I honestly believed it would pass. Now that I’m with Baylee I see what I would’ve walked away from, and I feel like a complete idiot. She’s added so much to my life and had I not taken this leap, I would’ve missed out on so much.
The fall season has kicked in with a cold front that we already feel to the core.
I just got back from a trip to Connecticut to grab some winter items Baylee had left behind.
Her roommates let her keep some of her jackets in the closet as she wasn’t going to need them until later in the season, but I told her I’d make the trip out there to bring it back for her.
Baylee hasn’t returned to the state, nor to the apartment, since that fateful night.
There is a pre-trial set for later this month and she’ll be headed back to Connecticut for that, which the attorney just contacted her about.
Baylee has been incredibly nervous to return and I can tell she’s hesitant to see Myles again.
I’m currently driving to my mom’s place to take her to an appointment. Baylee had stopped by to have lunch with her parents earlier, but she has class, so I won’t see her in our old neighborhood when I make it over.
I pull in and recognize the truck sitting in my neighbor’s driveway. I take a deep breath, hoping my old best friend won’t walk out right now. I’m not in the mood to see him. Even though we have shifts together at the station, I know he won’t be civil outside of that.
He still checks in on his sister, but that’s as far as his contact goes.
The way his glances over at me at work have become glacial makes me believe he knows Baylee and I are an item.
The way he has avoided me at work, I assume I’m the last person he wants to see.
I know we need to clear the air, but today isn’t the day.
I’m here to care for my mother and nothing else.
I get out of the car and I’m striding over to my mom’s place when I hear the neighbor’s front door open. Out of habit I glance over and see Rios shooting daggers in my direction.
“So, it’s true. You’re really with my sister even though you know how I feel about it?!” he yells in my direction.
I cast my gaze down and breathe through my nose, trying to tamper my frustration. I just wanted to come over here and care for my mother. This wasn’t about him, but of course he has to make everything about him .
“You already know the answer to that, Rios.” No point in stretching this longer than it has to be.
“Some best friend you turned out to be, man,” he spits back.
“Rios, you have some nerve. I stopped when you asked me to. I walked away initially. I did exactly what you wanted. I ignored my feelings for her the first time.”
“Some good that did. I told you she was off limits!” he yells.
“Yeah, and you told me what a shit friend I was then, remember? You guilted me to believe she could do better. Then she walked into the hands of a monster!” I yell back.
“You’re not good enough for her, Malloy. I told you to stay away from her. You were supposed to keep away from her. That’s why I made you go on that date with Abby. So, you’d stay away from my sister!” Rios yells.
“I did stay away. For as long as I could, because you’re my friend, I respected our friendship—” I’m cut off by the front door of the Rios household opening.
“What is he talking about?” Baylee walks out of the house, surprising me with her presence.
“Baylee, what are you doing here? You have class right now.” I look over at her stunned.
She’s looking at her brother, but the frustration she wears on her face is directed at both of us.
“Daniel, what the fuck is he talking about?” Her icy tone is full of anger.
“Baylee, I did it for you. He’s a player. He isn’t someone you can count on like that.” He looks at her.
“What the fuck, man?” I hold my hands out. “What are you talking about?”
“Come on. All you do is go on dates left and right. You haven’t had a girlfriend since high school,” he throws at me.
“So what? Who are you to judge? That’s why I can’t date your sister? That’s why you forced me to go out with Abby?” I yell at him.
“You forced him to go out with Abby?” She looks at her brother horrified.
Then she swings her gaze at me. “You agreed to that date because my brother made you take her out and you did it to please him ? Like you bow down to him or something? What the fuck, Tucker? That’s fucking pathetic! ” she yells at both of us.
“Baylee, let me explain.” I start walking toward her, but she puts her hands up.
“Please save your excuses right now. The ripple effect of your decision that day resulted in pain I now have to live with. I have scars embedded deep in my soul that I’ll never know how to explain.
And here I thought you didn’t want me during that time, so I accepted that monster.
I welcomed him because I thought that was what I deserved,” she chokes out.
Fuck, her pain is my pain.
She hangs her head for a moment, then something snaps in her, and she pulls her shoulders back and looks at Rios, determination in her gaze.
“Shame on you, Danny, for making a decision you had no right making on my behalf. I stayed with Myles, partially because that’s what I thought I was worthy of and partly because I liked that you approved of him.
Damn, I’m so stupid. You’re my brother, not my keeper.
I know in your head you think that was a decision made out of love; but it wasn’t, it was a selfish decision. Shame on you.”
Then she directs her gaze back to me and the power of her stare feels like a dagger straight to my heart.
“Tucker, I’ve felt like my heart has been yours since the day I understood what the power of love signified.
I was willing to give it to you for years, and I was waiting for you to acknowledge me.
I thought you saw me last year, I really did.
But all you saw was his sister.” She points at Rios.
“Because if you saw me, you would’ve chosen me regardless of what my brother wanted, like you did in that hospital that night. ”
She doesn’t give me a chance to speak. She turns around and walks back in the house and slams the door.
“Shit, she’s pissed,” Rios says.
I look over at him and I don’t even acknowledge his comment with one of my own. I’m about to walk over to the Rios front door when I hear my own childhood front door open, and my mother calls my name.
“Tucker, come in here, son,” my mother calls me inside and I oblige.
I don’t even look back at Rios and stalk over toward my mother.
She looks a little more frail today, and I don’t know if it’s the treatment or if she hasn’t been eating well lately. I’ll have to ask her while we visit to see if the medication is making her ill.
The moment I walk through the threshold, she pulls me into an embrace, and it feels like all my troubles are less overwhelming in that moment.
“Hi, Ma,” I whisper.
“It’s good to see you, Tucker,” she says into my chest.
My mother is much shorter than me. I inherited my height from my father, so I tower over her. But no matter how much taller I am, her comfort surrounds me in her embrace.
“Why don’t you take a seat and tell me what’s going on?” she tells me.
“First, why don’t I get you a snack and some tea,” I deflect.
“I already had my tea today.”
“Are you sure?” I look down at my watch. She usually has her tea later in the day.
“Yes, Baylee came over earlier and had tea with me.” She smiles softly. “Now, go sit.”
The minute I sit down, I look over at her and I spill.
I tell her everything about last summer, from my feelings about Baylee, to the fake date with Abby, and finally how things have evolved with Baylee now.
Once I catch her up, I sit back, feeling the weight on my shoulders dissipating, yet feeling like Baylee may have walked away from what we just started together.
My mom sits next to me and pulls my hand into her frail one. Why is she so weak suddenly?
“Ma, what’s going on with you that you’re so much weaker than the last time I saw you? You don’t look so good.”
“The doctor just says I’m adjusting to this new medication they started me on.
” She pats my hand to reassure me, but it does little to comfort the unease that’s creeping in.
“Now back to Baylee. You need to tell her how you feel. You need to explain how conflicted you were last year, and how you really didn’t want to lose a friend—how you didn’t want to lose what was comfortable to you.
That’s understandable. She’ll see both sides, son. ”
“But she’s right to be upset. I wasn’t honest when we started this up. I should’ve told her. I felt like that was between her and Rios. If I’d simply been honest with him and with her, she could’ve avoided all this with that asshole ex of hers.” I run my hand through my hair.
“Tucker, you know there’s no way you could’ve known that person would be so horrible to her. There’s no way you could’ve predicted that for her.” She moves her hand to my cheek.
I nod because I do know that in the logical part of my brain, but it doesn’t make me feel better. I hope Baylee is still there when I get home and will hear me out while I pour my heart on the ground and beg for her forgiveness.