Chapter Fifty
Fifty
Kian
My email chimes and I don’t bother getting up to check it, but Scarlett gasps. “That’s your exam grade.”
“What? How do you even know that?”
“It’s four p.m. on a Friday in December. It’s your grades. I know it!”
“Only you would memorize when grades are released,” I say. “It’s probably just a coupon for Uncle Frank— Holy shit!” I stare back at Scarlett, who arches a brow, crossing her arms like I should know better than to question her knowledge of all things academia.
But when I hover over the view grade button, I can’t do it. This is the last grade I need, the one that determines if I completed all my credits to graduate in the spring. My heart is in my ass and my leg starts to shake.
“I can’t look.”
Scarlett laughs softly, coming up behind me. Her arms slide over my shoulders, her chin grazing the top of my head. “Yes, you can. You’ve been working your ass off for this. Now click it before I do.”
When I do, my grade pops up on the side: ninety-one percent. “Holy shit,” we say in unison.
I narrow my gaze at her. “Why are you surprised?”
She closes her mouth. “I’m not! I totally knew you would do well.”
“This well?”
“Okay, this is crazy. I’m not even sure if I scored that high on the final,” she admits.
I beam, pulling her to me. “So you’re saying I’m smarter than you?”
“Hey! That’s literally my one thing. Don’t take it away.”
“Nah, you have plenty of things.”
Then, as if the excitement can’t stay contained, I lift her in my arms, spinning her. When I plant her on her feet, she runs her hands over my ears. “You earned that, Kian. Be proud of yourself.”
Just when I lean in to kiss her, I glance down at my phone and see Kiyomi’s name flash across the screen. My stomach tightens, and I answer immediately.
“Ki?”
“Hey, pip. What are you up to today?” she asks.
Scarlett’s watching me, stepping away to sit on the desk chair as if to give me space.
The tension in my chest doesn’t ease. I’m still listening for something off in my sister’s voice.
“I—uh, nothing really.” Then I glance at Scarlett, who urges me to tell her.
“Well, actually, I just got my grade for the stats final. I aced it.”
“That’s amazing, Kian. Are you celebrating with Scarlett?”
I can’t help but smile. I like that she knows about Scarlett, and that my life, my plans, include her now. “We haven’t decided yet.”
“I can’t wait for your graduation. Dad would be so proud,” she says brightly. “Mom’s been doing better, by the way. The doctor prescribed new meds, so none of the awful side effects this time.”
“Really?” I keep my voice careful, wanting her to keep talking. There’s no sadness in her voice this time and for the first time I don’t feel the weight on my heart either. It almost scares me.
“Yeah. I can send you the email from her doctor if you want. Oh, and if it’s okay, I’d like to put you down as Mom’s emergency contact.”
“Of course that’s okay. And if you need anything, you know I’m here.”
“I know. Actually…” She hesitates. “If you’re free, and it’s not too much of a drive, maybe you could stay with Mom tonight?”
It takes me a second to process. “Stay with her?”
“Just for tonight,” she rushes. “Joban called, and I thought I might go see him. I don’t have to—”
“No. Go. I’ll do it. I want to.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Her exhale sounds like relief. “Okay. And if you want, bring Scarlett. Mom’s been talking about ‘the girl with the fire hair’ since she visited the hospital.”
“She has?” I glance at Scarlett, who’s pretending to be focused on her laptop. “Okay, yeah, I’ll ask her.”
“And Kian? I know this hasn’t been easy,” she says abruptly. “And I worry that I messed everything up. Messed you up. But you still smile and make jokes and have so many people who love you that it makes me wonder how it didn’t completely ruin you.”
There’s a gravelly tone to her voice that seems to settle in my chest.
“Because I had you, Kiyomi.”
She’s silent until I hear a tiny sniffle. “Right. See you at seven, pip.” Then she hangs up.
I’m smiling to myself when Scarlett looks up. “Whatever you’re about to ask me, it’s a yes.”
···
Scarlett’s putting together a puzzle with my mom.
I had no idea she even brought it with us until we got inside the house and she pulled it out of her bag.
It’s the big pieces, easy to see and grip; apparently it’s made specifically for dementia patients.
When I asked how she knew to get a puzzle, she told me she’d been researching it, studying up on the disease.
If my sister wasn’t standing right there, I would have dropped to my knees for this girl.
“There’s food in the fridge, but I left some money on the counter if you want pizza. The emergency numbers are listed, but I’ll always answer. If you need anything, I’ll be back right away. I’m one call away.”
I hold on to Kiyomi’s shoulders, my body eclipsing hers, but her eyes holding a much heavier distance. Our six-year age gap has never felt so clear. “We’ll be fine. Go get laid.”
“Kian!” She smacks my arm. “We’re just talking. Joban knows I don’t want anything right now.”
“You can, though, you know? So if something were to happen tonight between you two, we can sleep here. You still have that spare room, right?”
“Nothing is going to happen.” She blushes when she says it. “Be good, pip, I’ll be back soon.”
“See you tomorrow!” I shout, and she’s smiling on the way to her car. I watch her leave, smiling to myself that my sister finally wants to live again.
“Tomorrow?” Scarlett asks. “She’s totally getting laid, huh?”
“Oh yeah.” I nod, sitting on the seat opposite her. My mom is so focused on the puzzle, I join in.
When the clock hits nine, I do as Kiyomi’s notes say and get my mom’s medication. When I hand her the pills, she just stares at them, her lips pressed tight.
“Mom,” I say gently, “you’ll feel better once you take them.”
She shakes her head, eyes narrowing, and that familiar edge of irritation creeps in. My stomach knots because I’ve seen that look before. But before I can push, Scarlett’s already beside me.
“Kiyomi’s note says we can give them with apple juice,” she says softly. “She likes that.”
I glance at the list taped to the counter. “It also says ‘call me’ after every single step.”
Scarlett tilts her head, calm as ever. “How about we wait a bit? I read that giving her space can help. Then we’ll try again when she’s distracted.”
“But she’s supposed to take it now.”
“Kian,” she says gently, meeting my eyes, “you’re stressed. Breathe. She’s your mom. You’ve got this.”
I exhale, nodding, though it feels like I’m still wound tight.
Ten minutes later, Scarlett comes back with two glasses of apple juice. My mom’s bent over the puzzle at the kitchen table, completely focused.
Scarlett slides the juice in front of her, casual as anything. “Kiyomi had apple juice. Can you believe it? It’s my favorite.”
My mom glances at her, taking the glass easily. “Mine too.”
I hold out the pills like they’re nothing more than vitamins. Mom takes them without hesitation, washes them down, and goes right back to fitting pieces together.
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Watching her, I can’t stop thinking about how many times Kiyomi’s probably had to do this, guessing moods, finding the right moment, walking that tightrope between care and patience.
And it just cements the fact that I really want to learn, I want to get to know my mom again, even if it means in moments like these.
My phone buzzes a few minutes later.
Kiyomi: Anything happen at pill time?
Kian: She didn’t want it at first. But it’s handled.
Kiyomi: I can come home.
Kian: Let me do this, Ki. I want to learn.
Kian: Have fun for once.
Kiyomi: Ok.
I stare at the messages for a while, smiling faintly. Then I look back at my mom, who’s humming quietly to herself, and I think I recognize the song as she places a piece that fits perfectly. Scarlett cheers, high-fiving her.
As much as I miss how it used to be, when my dad was still here and my mom was the one I’d known my whole life, I think I’m okay with this. These small pockets of good.