18. Missing Pieces
18
MISSING PIECES
JADE
T here’s more to Maxum’s resistance, but I don’t push him to explain. When he’s ready to tell me the full story, he will.
A demon mating rut might be intense, but I’m sure there are ways to ensure my safety. Maybe we could chain him up… that would be hot.
But only if he’s ready to make that commitment.
It’s strange to have him wavering now. He was so confident about us until we found out about my demon nature.
Perhaps this has something to do with his aversion to the hell realm. Do I now remind him of what he left behind? What he escaped?
He holds my hand as we stroll back to the cabin. At least he hasn’t completely retreated from me. I won’t pressure him to be with me. He has to want this. Want us. If he’s having second thoughts, I have to find a way to be okay with his decision. I hope if he doesn’t want me, he will be my friend, because I don’t want to lose him completely.
We’re quiet, and I use the time to assess how my mate bonds feel with Arran and Flint. Separated like this, even if it’s not more than a quarter mile away, I can feel the cord pulling thin.
I wonder what it feels like when mates travel to different locations. Does it pain them to be apart? I suppose I’ll likely find out if we ever get to move on to a normal life.
I chuckle to myself.
“What’s funny?” Maxum asks with a curious expression.
“I was thinking about my life in the future and realized I won’t ever be normal again.”
“You will find normalcy within this new reality,” he assures me.
“I guess so.” I nod noncommittally. “It might take a while since there’s so much I don’t understand about supes and demons and whatever else I don’t have a clue about.”
“We will help you navigate it.” Maxum squeezes my hand. “You aren’t alone anymore.”
That simple promise hits me in the chest like a punch. I stumble with the emotions that come with it. He won’t abandon me.
I’m not alone.
“Fuck,” I mutter and grasp at my heart.
“Are you alright?” Maxum rushes to stand before me, holding my upper arms, fearing I might fall.
My eyes sting, and my throat closes up. “I never fully realized how alone I’ve felt all these years… my whole life, really. But now, it’s all changed.” I gaze up into his smoldering obsidian eyes. “I have you, and a pack to watch out for me.”
Maxum presses a kiss to my forehead. “We are pack. We will care for you with every ounce of our being.”
I collapse into his embrace and soak up his warmth.
We return to the cabin several minutes later. Flint and Arran collide with me bodily and I oomph out a breath.
What a weird, wonderful feeling to be missed.
For the next few days, I spend time with my guys, talking, kissing, snuggling, and magic training. At night, Osen and I spend my dreamtime talking, playing, and getting to know each other.
The guys take turns helping me channel my electric magic. I’m not perfect at it, but I can conjure a ball of energy to toss, and I’ve gotten pretty good at actually hitting a target.
Once Maxum is satisfied I can do that to protect myself, he agrees to take me to Calder’s death spot.
Of course, the entire pack is going since no one wants to leave my side.
Amira guides us out to beyond her magical boundary. As we pass it, I turn to see the cabins disappear.
“I plan to be back at sunset,” Maxum informs her.
“One of us will be here to cross you back over the wards,” Amira says. She looks at me. “Good luck.”
She must sense the strange weight I feel in my soul. The need to go to Calder’s spot has grown over the last few days.
Then the witch vanishes before our very eyes, back in the protections she has placed.
“So cool,” I whisper in awe. I’d love to protect my guys like this.
Although he’s been brave about returning to the place of his nightmares, I turn to see Calder as pale as I’ve ever seen him. “Are you sure you can handle going back?”
“Yeah. It’s just not the most appealing thing to do.” He then nods to Maxum.
Our demon takes the hint and leads us away from the magical border, and when he feels it’s safe, he opens a portal. We run through a few different portals before we end up with one that opens to the back of a run-down industrial building. From the lack of cars midday, I’d say we’re in a sketchy, desolate area.
Calder’s breathing becomes uneven.
Knowing he will probably deny me, I offer my hand anyway.
Staring at it, he frowns and shakes his head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. If I lose my shit, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Okay. But if you want it, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” Calder pulls himself together and leads us inside after breaking a thick chain around the doors handles like they were made of paper.
I always forget how strong these guys are.
Before I can step inside after Maxum, Arran pulls me into his arms. “Not yet. Let them check for traps first.”
Flint follows Maxum inside and Calder stands near us, scanning the surrounding area for threats.
After a few minutes, they come back. “Looks clear, and no one’s inside, but stay alert,” Maxum warns.
“I can help,” Osen says in my mind.
“Okay. Let me know if you pick up on anything.”
I’ve noticed he’s become stronger lately. As my magic grows, so does his energy in my body. He sounds more rational and determined to help. But he’s also been quiet when we are around the others.
I worry about him and how hard it must be to be like this—living, but not.
I’m wondering if I should offer him freer rein with my body. Allow him to speak to the others whenever he wants.
I had been so worried about him taking off without my permission again that I’ve been hesitant, but he’s trying his best not to be intrusive.
I no longer fear for my wellbeing.
I worry his mental health might suffer without an outlet. Who knows how long he’ll be with me?
But now is not that time.
I follow Calder and Maxum through the messy, dusty ruins of the abandoned factory. Arran and Flint protect my back. Even though the place is creepy, and death seems to linger in the air, I feel surprisingly safe with my monsters.
There’s trash strewn around, evidence of this place being used by the homeless, but it feels like it hasn’t been used in a long time. I wonder if anyone has been inside since Calder experienced his last death.
I’m careful not to touch a thing. Can a supernatural being get tetanus? Probably not. From what the guys tell me, most supes are immune to human illnesses. Guess that’s why I never even had a common cold before.
We can still be susceptible to magical ailments and poisons, so I make sure not to brush up against something or step into a trap. Fortunately, Maxum can sense stuff like that and is resistant to most witch curses.
That’s mostly what they are looking for. The witch that killed Calder might have left a boobie trap behind in case his friends came to help.
I don’t know what I’m searching for by coming here. Maybe a clue to the ASO’s plans. Or perhaps some part of my subconscious hopes to heal Calder.
As we approach a corner of the large room, my skin tightens and goosebumps.
Calder stops his slow walk, and I see his fists clench at his sides.
Everyone else goes on alert and freezes, waiting for what Calder might do next.
I can’t see his face from my angle, but I know he’s glowering at the place he was tortured to death. There’s a simple twin sized cast iron bed frame with no mattress on its support beams. Broken chains hang from the corners onto the floor.
Old blood stains the floor underneath and spreads out several feet.
Fuck . This is Calder’s blood, and I want to cry out for the pain and injustice he suffered.
He’s drawing in heavy, ragged breaths, his shoulders straining against his shirt. I expect his wings to spring free and light on fire, but they don’t. I suspect he’s too overwhelmed to do a damned thing.
“Open up your senses,” Osen prompts.
Taking his suggestion to heart, I open my psychic sixth sense as Osen taught me the first time we were on a field trip in the alleyway—at his death spot.
Another wave of death hits me hard. When I quiet the sensations, I see something I wasn’t expecting. Shadows moving in my vision. Not in the physical realm, but the astral or spiritual level. But these aren’t the shadows that an incubus commands.
There is a strange light flickering within each amorphous shade.
Shades …
Are these specters—echoes of some poor lost soul?
My gaze darts to Calder.
Are these fragments of his essence?