Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
MATT
I’m trying to pick which suits to take on this trip, but all I can think about is how long ten fucking days is going to feel.
Occasionally a string of away games line up perfectly so that it makes more sense to just stay on the road instead of coming back home in between any.
So now I’ll be gone for a week and a half at arguably the worst possible time.
Ellie reassured me when I left this morning that she was feeling better.
She said she was planning to go to work and would make sure to text me the name of a podcast she heard about before my flight, in case I wanted to listen.
Something about sci-fi movie reviews, I think.
My heart swells at her thoughtfulness and then thumps so heavily I feel sick.
My sweet, sunshine-y girl was so sad yesterday she couldn’t get out of bed.
When I came back over after practice to drop off some hangover food before her shift started, I thought she was just oversleeping. Then I heard her delicate sniff and nearly dropped the takeout bags in my hands. She didn’t even hear me open the door.
The memory of her tearstained face and vacant eyes is going to haunt me every moment of this damn trip. I’m not sure if being there was helpful, but the idea of not being there if she goes through that again is just…unthinkable. I had to semi-force her to eat and drink.
Does one bad day mean she’s more likely to have another one soon? Or does it kind of reset? Did something trigger it? Are there even rules around this kind of thing? The questions are never-ending.
I feel so far out of my depth it’s almost laughable, except nothing about this is remotely funny. I’m trying to think of what I can do while I’m gone to not feel so damn useless. And to not worry myself sick.
We’re also over halfway through March and closing in on playoffs, which means every match-up is getting more crucial. Not having my head in the game isn’t really an option.
My phone buzzes, dragging my attention away from the suits in front of me. Looks like Ellie sent me that podcast. She says Zoey recommended it.
Suddenly an idea comes to me. Two ideas, actually.
I grab two suits at random and throw them in a garment bag. I know I have to leave in a few minutes to make the team flight, but I now have some calls to make and need to download a different type of podcast. The sci-fi one will have to wait.