Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
BLEEDING GREEN
TULLY
A week after Lola and I finally talked, Daniel calls on my way to the airport. I hesitate, not up for a conversation with him right now. Daniel has done amazing things for my career, but he’s only gotten pushier over time.
“Tully, my man,” he says when I answer. “How are you? I had a change in my schedule and think I might make it to New York for your game.”
“Oh, okay.” I try to inject enthusiasm into my voice. “Great. It’ll be nice to see a friendly face in the crowd…someone who isn’t wearing blue.”
Daniel chuckles. “I’ll make sure to wear something obnoxiously green.”
I snort. “I’d appreciate that.”
There’s a pause, and then he says, “So…you planning to beat the shit out of anyone tomorrow, or was the game with Martin a one-off?”
I rub the back of my neck. The bruise on my knuckles from that fight still aches when I flex. “That won’t be happening again.”
“We haven’t had much time to talk about it. Is this gonna be a problem with you and Martin? Looked personal from up in the suite.”
I exhale through my nose. “It was. He gave me crap about Lola.”
Silence stretches long enough that I check that the call didn’t drop.
“Lola?” he says in surprise. “As in…Lola Lola?”
“Yeah.”
A low whistle. “That’s a blast from the past. Jesus. What…do you guys even—do you still talk to each other?”
I stare out the window, taking in the last of the pretty leaves. They’ve lasted a little longer this fall, but one good wind and they’ll be gone.
“We haven’t for years. Until recently.”
“Well, that’s a surprise. I thought we were done with Lola,” he says quietly.
My eyes narrow, not just at his words, but his tone. It landed flat, with none of his usual teasing. I wait for him to fill the quiet, but he doesn’t right away.
“You were wrecked when she left. I’m surprised you’d want to hear a word she has to say. What is she saying these days? Anything that makes sense as to why she’d leave the way she did?”
My grip tightens on the phone. “No. I’m not sure she’ll ever tell me why she left. I’m gonna try to see her while I’m in New York.”
Another pause. Longer this time.
“Be careful,” Daniel says. “Know that some doors close for a reason.”
My mind turns over his words, replaying memories from that last month Lola and I had together—how she seemed so happy, completely in love with me, and then the morning she was just gone.
“Yeah,” I say finally. My voice sounds distant even to me. “I hear you.”
“Good.” He clears his throat, switching back to business mode. “Try not to get suspended this game, all right? I’d like to watch you play hockey, not see you nearly lose your teeth.”
I force a laugh. It comes out thin. “No promises.”
Outside, Manhattan moves past the window in its usual rush. Yellow cabs back up at the light, and a guy in a suit nearly steps into traffic without looking. I’ve been to New York many times, but knowing that Lola lives here makes it feel different.
We haven’t talked since our FaceTime. I’ve wanted to call or text her, but I’ve needed some time to think about all that was said. And I wondered if she’d find a way to get out of seeing me while I’m here…if I wasn’t pushing for it.
But now that I’m here, I open our thread. I have a few minutes before we reach the arena.
Hey. I’m here. You mentioned maybe coming to the game tonight—offer still stands if you want.
I read it back and delete offer still stands, which sounds like a transaction.
I change it to still good if you want to come, then delete that too.
I go back to the original version and hit send before I can talk myself out of it again.
Then I put the phone face down on my thigh and look out the window.
Roman is in the seat across from me with his headphones on, eyes closed.
Half the guys are already checked out, mentally walking through their warm-up routines.
We’ve had a great week, much better than last week.
I’m hoping I got it out of my system by punching Patrick fucking Martin in the fucking face.
No more thinking about that asswipe, I tell myself. He doesn’t belong in my headspace.
My phone buzzes.
I actually hold it for a second without flipping it over. Preparing myself for the polite exit. Oh, I totally forgot I have a thing, maybe next time. Something like that.
I flip it over.
Lola
I’ll be there.
I read it again. I can’t believe she’s coming.
My lips tip up slightly when I type back.
There will be a ticket saved at will call for Trouble Donavan
Lola
We agree on a place to meet in the arena after the game, and then I try but fail to put her out of my mind.
I play one of the best games I’ve played in a long time, for sure the best game of this season. Maybe my luck is changing. Maybe it was because Lola was in the crowd. Nope—not going down that rabbit hole.
I see Lola before she sees me. She’s standing near the end of the corridor outside the family and guest entrance, a few steps back from the small cluster of people, her coat dark against the cement wall.
I try to figure out what seems different about her now and realize it’s the way she holds herself.
She used to walk into a room and own it, in her own quiet yet bold way.
Now, she’s maybe even more painfully beautiful, but it’s almost as if she’s apologetic for taking up space.
What happened to her? runs through my mind yet again.
She turns and sees me, and her mouth curves up in a nervous smile.
“Hey,” she says.
“Hey.” I cross the space between us, and we do that brief, uncertain moment of figuring out if we’re going to hug or not. I finally hold my arms out and she walks into them, and we both take a deep inhale. She smells clean and sweet, like citrus and cinnamon.
“Great game—” she starts.
“Tully,” someone cuts in.
I reluctantly let Lola go, and Daniel appears at my elbow. His phone is in one hand, and his other hand curls around my shoulder.
“Way to show them how it’s done,” he says.
He stops and looks at Lola, and there’s a beat where they just stare at each other before Daniel extends his hand.
“Lola. It’s been a while.”
“Daniel,” she says.
She looks pale all of a sudden. There’s an awkward moment when she doesn’t take his hand right away, but eventually, she does. For a second, I think she’s shaking, but she pulls her hand back so fast, I can’t tell for sure.
“So you live in New York, huh?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Didn’t realize you and Tully were still in touch,” he adds.
Lola’s gaze meets mine, and she swallows before looking at Daniel again. “We aren’t. We keep running into each other…pure coincidence.” Her tone lightens, and she glances at me again.
“Yeah, I bet,” Daniel says.
His tone is sharp enough that I turn to glance at him.
“I actually should go,” she says. “You’ve got…things to do. Tully, it was…good to see you again.”
“What? No. You’re not leaving—we were—”
“Yes, please. Don’t let me interrupt you.
” Daniel stares at Lola. When she doesn’t say anything, his eyes narrow.
“Well, I’m glad I didn’t miss this one. You played a great game out there, Tully.
” He tilts his head back and looks at me.
“Got a few minutes? I’d like to talk to you about something real quick. ”
I shoot Lola an apologetic look. “Don’t leave, please. Will you stay?”
She presses her lips together and looks away before nodding.
“Just a few minutes, okay?” I say to Daniel. “I don’t want to keep Lola waiting.”
“She’ll be fine. Won’t you, Lola?” Daniel says.
Her cheeks flush slightly, and she nods. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
Daniel and I move out of hearing range, and I turn on him.
“What was that?” I ask.
“What?” he says, his face wiped clear of expression.
“Your attitude with Lola.”
“I don’t know what you mean. I didn’t have an attitude with Lola.”
“You definitely did. It was weird.”
He tugs on the collar of his shirt. “I just don’t want you to get hurt by her again. She never seemed good enough for you anyway.”
“I pay you for your expertise on my career, not my love life,” I say under my breath. “Now, did you have something you needed to talk to me about?”
His voice is tight when he responds. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”
I nod. “Okay. Works for me. Thanks for coming tonight.”
I walk away, the unease building when I see Lola looking like she might bolt.
“Hey. Sorry about that,” I say.
“No, don’t worry about it.” She watches Daniel walk away, and when she looks back at me, she blinks like she’s coming out of a fog. “He still keeps you on a short leash.”
“He likes to think so. Is it too late to get something to eat?” I ask.
She looks around, her fingers tugging her shirt.
“I don’t know…if this is such a good idea,” she says.
“You agreed to see me tonight. I want to talk.”
“I’m not sure it’ll do any good,” she whispers.
“Let’s do it anyway.”
She glances around one more time and then nods. “Okay. We’re right by one of my favorite diners that’s open all night.”
“Lead the way.”
We’re quiet on the short walk to the diner, and once we’re seated, we look at each other tentatively. The ease we had in Nantucket, and even on the phone, is gone. She’s anxious, and I’m—I don’t know what I am. Unsettled, I guess.
She orders pancakes, and I order a burger, and it’s quiet again when our server leaves.
“I’m just gonna come right out and ask you something,” I say.
“Okay.”
“Were you sleeping with Daniel back then? Is that why you left?”
Her mouth falls open. “What?” she whispers. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Seeing the two of you tonight…I always thought things were a little weird between the two of you, but I thought it was because you didn’t like him, and he didn’t want you to distract me.”
“Ew! He’s old! And just…gross. No, I didn’t like him. Still don’t,” she says. She looks down at the table. “I can’t believe that’s the conclusion you drew. As if I would ever!”
“I mean…I admit, it’s not something I’ve ever thought before tonight. He’s not that old, only forty, I think. But what is it between you? Because it’s not nothing.”
She’s quiet. Our food comes out, and she lifts her fork but doesn’t take a bite.
“He never wanted you with me,” she says. She looks around the diner, long enough that I look too. She leans in like she’s afraid someone might hear us. “He made it clear that he didn’t think I was the right fit for you.”
“He said that to you?”
“Yes.”
“Lola. I don’t even know what to say. I-I wish you’d told me. I don’t understand why he’d say it, much less think it. You are…” I shake my head slightly. “Were perfect for me.”
“I wasn’t, though. Because I walked away, didn’t I?”
“Was it because of him? He got to you that much?”
She exhales and looks out the window at the street. When she looks at me again, her face crumbles. “There was more to it than that, but…yes, ultimately, he did. I can’t blame him, though. Not completely. I didn’t have to…cave, but…”
A tear drips onto the table.
“I got pregnant, Tully.”