Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
OUR MOMENT
LOLA
I look at the calendar. No, that can’t possibly be right.
I am so late on my period and didn’t even realize it.
I’ve been so overwhelmed with school and work.
There’s also drama at home. According to my sister, my parents are fighting nonstop, and my dad is acting completely out of character.
I don’t know if he’s having a midlife crisis or what, but for my normally chill sister to be freaking out, I know something’s not right.
That’s the least of my worries right now, though.
I look at the time and try to think of the closest place that would still be open this late, and I get in my car and rush to the twenty-four-hour drugstore. My hands are shaking as I go to check out. I set the test on the counter and jump when I hear my name.
“Lola, it’s awfully late for you to be out alone,” Daniel says.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Why do I have to run into him here, of all places? Now, of all times? I will him not to look at the counter, but of course, my luck has gone to shit. He looks down, his eyes widening in surprise. The cashier rings up my test and tells me the amount. I pay, glancing back at Daniel again.
“Well, you’ve got a lot going on, don’t you?” he says. “Does Tully know?” He pauses. “Is it Tully’s?”
I grab the test from the clerk and glare at Daniel, not answering him before I walk out. I hear him jogging behind me, and I turn to face him.
“That was uncalled for,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t respond.
“This is an important time for Tully. He’s garnering a lot of attention right now. This is when it’s make-or-break for him. It’s just not the best time—”
“You think I don’t know that?” I cut in.
“I don’t know why you seem to think I’m trying to work against you and Tully with his career.
I’m not. I’m his biggest fan. I’m cheering him on so hard.
” My voice cracks. “I want him to succeed. I want him to have everything he wants. Do you really think I want to stand in the way of that?” I burst into tears and angrily fling them off my face.
“You think I don’t know that this is not the ideal time for a baby?
” I hold up my bag and shake it. “Hopefully it’s not positive. ”
I turn and get into my car, slam the door, and drive away. When I take the test fifteen minutes later and then check the results a couple of minutes after that, the world as I know it changes.
Positive.
It’s a busy time for both Tully and me, so it’s not altogether unusual that we don’t see each other for the next couple of days, but he calls on his way to practice and asks if everything’s okay.
We haven’t talked as much as we normally would, even going in separate directions.
I lie and tell him I’m okay, but I can’t stand keeping this secret from him, so after class, I stop by the rink and watch him practice.
His happy smile is enough to make my eyes well up, and I try to get it together when he comes over and kisses me between drills.
“I’m so happy to see you,” he says.
“I’m happy to see you too.” I lean on my tiptoes and kiss him again.
“Can you stay, or is this just a quick stop?”
“I’ll stay until you’re done,” I tell him, even though I’m exhausted and feel like I could sleep standing up.
“Love you,” he whispers.
“I love you,” I say before he skates off.
“Lola,” I hear behind me, and I turn to see Daniel standing there.
“You’ve gotta stop sneaking up on me like this,” I tell him.
He gives me a sheepish look, but I can tell he’s not sorry.
“So, are we having a baby?” he asks under his breath.
“We are not having anything,” I say, pointing between the two of us.
He rolls his eyes. I really despise this man. It’s been a gradual dislike since the first time we met, but it’s skyrocketed to a fervent detesting.
“I need to know what I’m dealing with here, Lola. I’ve got a lot riding on Tully’s future. Your boyfriend has a lot riding on the rest of the school year.”
I take a step closer to him, and I can tell it surprises him. “We’ve already been over this, and I think it’s really inappropriate how you keep talking to me about it. This,” I say, waving my hand over my body, “is not your business. I don’t really know what you want me to do.”
“So it was positive then.” He sighs. “Fuck.”
I turn and leave, and he follows me out.
“Leave me alone,” I say.
“Just hear me out, Lola. Is this really what you want? Tully says you want to open your own tattoo shop one day. I could make that happen for you. But is that really the kind of life you want for your baby? You working in a tattoo parlor, and your boyfriend gone all the time? What kind of life is that for a child? What kind of life is that for any of you?”
He’s not saying anything I haven’t already thought about nonstop ever since I found out I’m pregnant.
Before meeting Tully, I wasn’t sure I ever even wanted to have kids. But he makes me want everything, all of it.
Tully calls when practice is over.
“You okay?” he asks. “I didn’t see you leave.”
“I’m sorry. I was just exhausted and not feeling great, so I came home.”
“Aw, you’re not getting sick, are you? Need me to bring anything over? Medicine, soup?”
“That’s so sweet, but no. It’s okay.”
“You can ask for anything, you know.” His voice turns playful. “Ice cream?”
“Soup does sound kinda good. And ice cream.”
He laughs. “That’s my girl. Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
He’s there within half an hour. I’ve spent that time being completely unproductive. I tried to read and watch TV. I ended up just sitting on my bed with my back against the headboard and my knees pulled to my chest, staring at nothing.
I open the door, and he comes in carrying a paper bag in one arm and a plastic one hanging from his wrist, his hair still wet from his shower. He puts his hand on my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek.
“So sorry you’re not feeling well.”
“I feel better now that I’m seeing you.”
He smiles and drops everything on the kitchen counter as he shrugs out of his jacket.
“I went to Lund’s and got their chicken noodle and the sourdough bread you like.” He’s already opening the cabinet and pulling out a bowl. “And I forgot to ask which ice cream you were most in the mood for, so I got mint chip and chocolate peanut butter.”
“Oh my goodness. You didn’t have to do all that.”
He glances back at me over his shoulder. “I wanted to.”
“Thank you.” I come up behind him and wrap my arms around him. “You’re the best there is.”
“I think you’re confusing me with you,” he teases.
We end up on the couch, his legs stretched out on the coffee table and my feet tucked under a blanket. The soup is gone, and he’s holding the mint-chip ice cream between us, both of us eating right out of the carton.
“Can I ask you something?” I say.
“Always.”
I pull at a loose thread on the blanket. “When you picture it—in the spring, when you decide where you’re going, when everything actually starts—” I pause. “What does it look like? Specifically for us?”
He’s quiet for a second. “Well…I think it’s going to be a lot of figuring it out as we go.
” He turns toward me a little more. “There’s going to be distance, at least for a while, which will be hard.
Wherever I land, you’ve still got your own stuff to figure out—where you want to be, what you want your career to look like.
And I want it to be somewhere you’re happy with, not just based on where I’m going, if it’s not where you want to be.
We’ll see each other as much as we can.”
“You say that like it’s simple.”
“I don’t think it’ll be easy. I’ll miss you like crazy. But we’ll make it work. Right?”
My throat constricts. I look down at the blanket and nod.
He lifts my chin so my eyes meet his. “I want to marry you one day, Lola. I know that’s down the line, not right away, but—that’s where I hope we’re going.”
“What about kids?” I ask.
He smiles. “Yeah. One day. I mean, I’m not ready yet.” He laughs. “Right? Not even close, honestly. But—” He pauses, and when he looks back at me, his face is unguarded, and it almost undoes me completely. “I think a lot about our future together.”
One day. Not even close. Eventually.
I make myself smile, and it’s not entirely fake because he loves me, and what he’s describing is a future that still has space for everything.
It’s just that our one day is happening a lot sooner than either of us want, and I don’t know how to explain that yet without blowing up every careful structure he’s just laid out.
“Yeah. I do too,” I say instead.
He reaches over and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “Feeling any better?”
“A little.”
He sets the carton on the floor and pulls me into his side. It’s late, and I can tell he’s as worn out as I am. He falls asleep first, and I enjoy the weight of his arms around me. I press my hand flat against my stomach for a second.
I’ll tell him when the moment is right.
Instead of telling him, I pretend nothing has changed. I put on a happy face. I avoid the rink in case I run into Daniel. Tully comes to my place, or I go to his, and I live in a little bubble with my love.
My sister calls one night after I’ve gotten off the phone with Tully, and I pick up, thinking it might be him again.
“Hello?”
“Lola.” My sister bursts into tears.
“What’s wrong?”
“Mom kicked Dad out tonight.”
“What?”
The thought is so outrageous, I’d think Isla was joking if she weren’t crying.
“I don’t know what’s going on. It’s been so crazy around here. And I know what you’re thinking—our parents are weird. But they’re not with each other!”
“I wouldn’t have expected to feel so sad about it,” I say softly.
“Me either! It’s freaking me out!” Isla sniffles and then blows her nose. “It feels wrong. You and I have each other and Luca, and our parents just have each other.”
“Have you asked Mom what’s going on?”
“She’s shut herself in her room and won’t come out.”
“They probably wouldn’t answer my calls, but I’ll try.”
“Thank you. I’ve tried calling Dad too. Maybe he’ll cave with one of us.”
“Would you like more to deal with…since there’s already a lot going on?”
She snorts. “Sure. Why not?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Silence.
“Isla?”
“You’re serious.”
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
“My God, Lola. How are you doing with this? How is Tully handling it?”
“He doesn’t know…and I guess I just want to…hold on to this news by myself for a little longer.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m just not ready to deal with it,” I whisper. “I’ll get there. I’m just not there yet.”
“That’s understandable. You do what you have to do to be okay.”
“Thanks. It does help to tell you.”
“Maybe it’ll help to tell Tully too.”
“Maybe.” I sigh and look at the time. “I think I’m gonna try Dad. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay. I love you. Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re pregnant.”
“Trust me. It keeps shocking me too. Please don’t say anything to Mom yet. Or anyone.”
“I won’t. Promise.”
I get off the phone with her and immediately call my dad. To my surprise, he answers.
“Looooola,” he sings.
“Dad?”
There’s a lot of noise in the background.
“Where are you?”
“I’m…out.” His t is drawn out.
“Yeah, I can tell.” I laugh quietly. “Are you okay? Are you drinking?”
“You heard the news,” he says.
“Yeah, Isla told me. It was quite a surprise.”
“Your mom is fed up with me.” His voice cracks, and the sound of him crying is even more surprising than Mom kicking him out. He must really be drunk. “I think we might lose the house.”
My mouth falls open. “Dad! Why?”
In the background, I hear a loud machine go off. Maybe the loudest bar ever.
“I’ve gambled it away,” he mumbles.
“What did you say? It sounded like you said you gambled it away,” I say, sitting up straighter.
“Yep.” His p pops. “Thasss what I said.”
“Dad. What happened?”
“Gotta go, sweetie. Gotta win it back.”
“You’re at a casino?”
“Wish me luck. I need 300,000 dollars.”
The line goes dead, and I sit there, brain swimming.
What next?
The next afternoon, Daniel is waiting for me when I get to work at Rebel Mark.
“What are you doing here?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“I have an offer for you,” he says.
His smile makes my stomach curl.
“I have to get inside, Daniel.”
“Hear me out.” He looks around and leans in. “I’ve been doing a little digging. It’s part of this business. Gotta know what my clients are getting into.” His smile grows. “Sounds like your dad’s got a little gambling problem.”
My insides burn. “Are you spying on my family now?”
“Like I said, gotta know what my clients are getting into. Don’t want any of this coming back to bite Tully.
His offers are getting better by the day.
So here’s what I’d like you to do for me, Lola.
” He pauses for effect. “I’ll give you half a million dollars to walk away.
You can do whatever you want with it. Keep it to yourself to build a new life with your baby.
Keep some and help your dad out. Hell, I don’t care.
Just cut all ties with Tully, and I’ll make sure your dad doesn’t lose his business as well as his house. ”
I stare at him in shock. “I underestimated you.” I swallow hard. “I knew you were creepy, but I didn’t realize you were capable of this. Why would I walk away from the man I love and leave him to deal with someone like you?” I spit out.
“Oh, I’ll take good care of him, don’t worry about that. But if you stay, I’ll make your life a living hell.”
I start shaking uncontrollably. “No, I can’t do this. I can’t hurt him like that.”
“Let me put this another way: If you don’t leave, I’ll turn him against you, and it won’t be as tidy and mysterious as your leaving him would be.
” He holds out his hands and lifts one. “I’m doing you a favor anyway.
Saving you from a future heartbreak. Did you really think you’d meet the man you’re gonna marry in college?
” He scoffs. “Please. Tully is just getting started. He gets on the road for a month, and I promise you’ll be history. ”
He shakes his head and stares at me before putting his finger in my face.
“You have twenty-four hours to make a decision and get out of town, and if you don’t, I’ll start dismantling your life piece by piece.”