Chapter 7 Naomi #2
“It was me, Tweety,” I admitted. “Things were going so well, and all of a sudden the weather turned insane and this massive boom of thunder got my adrenaline going, so I guess my brain shut off.” To her credit, my friend didn’t interrupt me even though each word out of my mouth felt like it had its own personal weight.
“I got carried away, really. And I tried to kiss him right on the lips on our first date without even checking in with him.”
“Whoa,” Tweety said after another long pause. “That’s really unlike you.”
“I know! I know! And that’s what’s so crazy about it. I’ve never done anything like that because I’ve never had a date like this one. Rowan was sweet, he was funny, and just awkward enough to make me feel more comfortable with my own stuff.”
“And he wasn’t a catfish at all?”
“No! He looked even better in person! The guy totally has a sleeper build. I only suspected it at first, but I felt it when we were dancing together.”
“Wait, you two danced? Hell, that does sound like a fairy tale.”
“Right?” I said miserably before plopping my chin in my hands. “And I ruined it. Because I was stupid. I know this sounds a bit histrionic, but I don’t think there are many guys like that just rolling around single nowadays.”
I thought back to the many times I’d made him laugh, how his eyebrows would shoot up almost as if he too was surprised at how hard he was laughing, his nearly blindingly white teeth flashing as he guffawed. It made me feel witty. It made me feel clever.
And perhaps it was a little crazy, but it made me feel so goddamn valued in a way that was completely foreign to me.
I liked the way I looked, sure. I liked my muscles, I liked the swell of my hips, and I liked watching my own boobs do the Thing? whenever I was doing my confident girl walk.
But as much as I appreciated those things about myself, I never really felt like others saw any deeper.
I had my one-night stands. My hookups. Even Jason made it clear he saw me as good enough for his bed but not enough to be by his side.
But when it came to them liking Naomi as a whole, that just never happened.
But it did when Rowan looked at me.
And I’d gone and fucked it all up.
“Wow, babe, I gotta admit, I didn’t expect this. You’re always so cautious, ya know? Kinda guarded. Which, I do not blame you for at all.”
“I know. That’s why I’m so fucked up about it. If he was a dick, he would be just one of many. But what if I ruined something truly special?”
“That’s… Jeez, I’m sorry, Naomi. That’s a lot. Have you tried texting him?”
I shook my head before I realized we weren’t on video call, so I cleared my throat and spoke. “No. I keep trying, but what do I even say?”
“How about the truth?”
I didn’t mean to, but I scoffed. “I’m sure that confessing I’m a broken wolf shifter who can’t get a date with my own kind so I turned to a human app, wouldn’t really solve much.”
“Okay, not that truthful. I mean, just tell him you were having such an amazing time, and that along with the weather, got you a bit carried away and you’d like to apologize.”
“You really think that would work?”
“Look, girlie-girl, you are too old to not be aware that you’re a total fox—”
“—wolf,” I corrected quickly. Was I upset? Absolutely. But one didn’t pass up a good opening like that with a friend.
“Har-de-har, hilarious. But as I was saying, you’re a total smokeshow, and if this connection was as good as you say it was, I’m sure he doesn’t want to miss out on you either. Maybe he’s got anxiety, or even some hangups about being used if he’s as hot as you say he is.”
I paused, thinking about what she said, and that was when something hit me like a freight train.
“Oh. My. God. Carolina.”
“Whoa, government name? What’s going on there?”
“I just realized!” I let out an aggravated sound and resisted the urge to slam my head into my desk. “He basically told me he was a part of this social group that didn’t care about him and were just using him. What if he thought I was trying to do the same thing?”
Although I hadn’t exactly been pleased with my actions, the sudden revelation made me feel so much worse.
Fuck on a duck! I’d been interpreting the whole scene as him just being offended about me coming on too strong, but what if my whole frame was askew, and it was actually him being afraid I was only interested in his body like whoever was in his failed LARP group?
Man, I had really fucked up. But somehow, that seemed so much easier to clear up than what I had thought previously.
“Hey yeah! That could be it! Especially if he’s the hottie with a body like you said. Why don’t you just try communicating with him before you assume the worst?”
“Tweety, you’re the best,” I said, returning back to her username. “I owe you for sure now. Lemme take you out for dinner this weekend?”
“Worry about me after you touch base with this possible Romeo of yours,” she said with a laugh. “With any luck, your weekend will be very occupied.”
“Um, I’m not really keen on swallowing poison or stabbing a dagger through my tit, so maybe more Rowan and less Romeo,” I said with a chuckle. “But yeah, lemme get back into my base, then I’ll text him.”
“Oh, you’re gonna do that now?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t text much during the day anyway. He’s probably sleeping because of the whole night shift stuff.”
“Right, I forgot about that. I can’t imagine not rising with the sun.”
“That’s because you crow at it,” I shot back.
“Wow, what is it, standup night?”
“And yet you’re not denying it.”
She let out a snort. Tweety, like many harpies, slept in three-hour increments throughout the entire day and night, so she was simultaneously always awake and always asleep.
“Should I deafen myself for a bit?”
“Nah, I’m just gonna text. But I’ll be quiet for a while.”
“Okies dokies, artichokies. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Yes, she would be. And I cherished her for that.
I opened my text chain with Rowan and stared at it for a long time before typing.
Me: Hey, I know things didn’t end the best last time, and I want to apologize if I made you uncomfortable in any way.
I was having the most incredible night, and I’m afraid that in getting ahead of myself, I might have given off the wrong impression. I’d love to have a second chance, sans cataclysmic summer thunderstorm, to be on my best behavior and enjoy a night out on the town.
No hard feelings if not, but I have to admit that I really felt like our date was something special.
Best wishes,
HowlingAloneTogether, but hopefully heavy on the together part.
I read it once. Twice. A third time to be sure. And then a fourth time just in case. But once I had it memorized, I hit send.
Of course, there wasn’t an answer. I hadn’t expected there to be, and yet I was a bit disappointed, nonetheless.
“It’s done,” I said, and Tweety’s supportive voice answered me almost instantly.
“Good job, I’m proud of you. No matter what he says, I know your heart was in the right place.”
“Thanks, Tweets. I appreciate that.”
“No probs. Now, you wanna go End raiding with me?”
“You know what? Sure!”
I settled into the game and somehow managed to push the matter to the back of my mind for a bit. However, that didn’t last for all that long, because once the sun fully went down and the dark cloak of night settled over the city in earnest, my phone buzzed with the distinctive pattern of a text.
I grabbed it so fast I nearly knocked over my empty coffee cup. Sure enough, it was Rowan. My stomach rolled, and I was too terrified to open the text. Was that silly? It felt a bit silly.
“You’ve gone quiet. Everything okay?” Tweety asked.
“It’s him,” I said simply. Naturally, she didn’t need any other explanation.
“What did he say? What did he say?”
“I dunno! I haven’t even opened it yet!”
“Well, what are you waiting for?”
“Maybe a dark web hacker to get me a new identity when Rowan inevitably tells me to kick rocks.”
“Okay, now that’s histrionic. Come on, open it.”
She was right, so I did. And his words stared back at me in brilliant white against my night mode settings.
Rowan: I think there has been some miscommunication, and I believe I owe you an apology.
An apology? I was utterly baffled, and that was about the last thing I expected.
My thumbs hesitated, but only for a few moments, then they began to fly across my keyboard, almost too fast for the haptic feedback.
Me: For what?
Rowan: I’d like to talk about it in person, if you’re open. Then, after that, if you’re still interested, I’d like to take you up on that offer of a second date.
I was confused. I was intrigued. I was a bit wary.
But most of all, I had a second date to get ready for!