16. The Last Time
16
THE LAST TIME
KENZIE
I'm stunned, silent. My heart wants to believe him. But my mind questions everything. So, instead of ruining the moment I lay my head on Everett's chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"What just happened?"
"Nothing."
"I don't believe you. Look at me." He grips my chin between his fingers, and now I'm looking into his eyes.
"I'm not good at this, Everett. People leave. People change their minds. People have wives. And I want to believe you. I do… But…"
"I'm not him." He leans forward and kisses my lips. And I've never felt so safe, so cherished. "And you're not her."
I nod, and he pulls me close.
"Tell me about her," I say softly, breaking the comfortable silence. "About Jillian."
Everett tenses for a moment, then relaxes with a sigh. "It's not a happy story," he warns.
I prop myself up on an elbow, meeting his gaze. "I want to know. All of it."
He nods, pulling me closer as he begins to speak. His voice is low and gravelly, the pain of the past etched into every word.
"Jillian and I... we met in the military. I guess you could say we bonded over our shared ambitions and our dreams of serving our country." A wistful smile tugs at his lips, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "We were both so driven, so focused on our careers. When she got pregnant with the twins, we figured we could make it work."
He pauses, jaw clenching as he relives the memories. I reach up, trailing my fingers along the tense line of his cheek.
"For a while, it did work. We had our girls, got married...built a life together, as much as the military would allow." Everett's gaze grows distant, clouded by regret. "But the separations, the long deployments...they took a toll. Jillian started pulling away emotionally. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late."
A muscle ticks in his cheek, and I can practically see the walls going up, that stoic mask slipping back into place. But there's a rawness in his eyes that breaks my heart.
"She cheated on me," he says flatly. "While I was overseas, fighting for our country, she was back home, betraying everything we'd built."
My breath catches in my throat, and I tighten my arms around him, wishing I could absorb some of his pain. Everett lets out a shuddering sigh, leaning into my embrace.
"We tried to work through it, for the girls' sake. But in the end..." He shakes his head. "Jillian made her choice. She re-enlisted and left me to raise Hazel and Harper alone while she chased her career."
The bitterness in his tone is palpable, a stark contrast to the tenderness of his touch as his fingers trace idle patterns on my back. I shiver at the intimacy of the moment, the way he's baring his soul to me.
I stare into his eyes, seeing nothing but raw vulnerability. His jaw tightens, lips pressed into a hard line as he waits for my response.
"Everett," I say softly, reaching out to brush his cheek. "What happened with Jillian? That wasn't your failure. She made her choices, and you did the best you could."
His eyes flick away, guarded once more. But I catch the slight tremble in his fingers as they curl around mine.
"My Meme used to say… Sometimes shit is just shit ." He chuckles, and I press a soft kiss on his brow, my heart aching for this man who's been through so much. "At the end of the day, that wasn't your failure. It was hers. You did everything you could to make it work, and sometimes that's all we can do."
A flicker of relief passes over his features, and he pulls me flush against him, burying his face in the crook of my neck. We stay like that for long moments, bodies intertwined, drawing strength from each other's embrace.
When he finally speaks again, his voice is muffled but steady. "I never thought I'd find this again. Someone I could trust, could let in..."
"Thank you…" I press a soft kiss on his chest.
He's quiet for a moment, then asks, "What about you? Your family?"
I take a deep breath, steadying myself as I prepare to share the most painful parts of my past with Everett. His arms tighten around me.
"My childhood was...complicated," I begin, my voice catching slightly. "Mamma was never really cut out for the whole motherhood thing. She had us at fifteen, and she loved the idea of it, but the reality was too much for her restless spirit. "
Everett doesn't say a word, but his fingers trace soothing circles on my back.
"When Kendrick and I were just toddlers, she up and left one day. Just packed a bag and hit the road, chasing some dream or another." I shrug but the old hurt still stings after all these years. "We didn't see or hear from her for months at a time. It was like she'd just...forgotten we existed."
A muscle ticks in Everett's jaw, but his eyes remain soft, full of understanding.
"Meme—that's what we called my grandma—she stepped in and raised us as best she could. Lord knows she tried her damnedest to give us a stable home." I smile wistfully, thinking of the countless sacrifices Meme made for us. "But even her love couldn't fill that void Mamma left behind."
It's been so long since I let myself think about those years. It also hurt so much. But I smile at the thought of my brother. My twin heart.
"Kendrick...he took it harder than I did, I think. While I was trying to be the perfect kid and keep everything together, he was acting out in every way possible." My throat tightens as I recall those turbulent years. "No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to reach him, you know? He just kept spiraling further and further out of control."
Everett's hand finds mine, our fingers intertwining as I hold him like an anchor.
"The day they hauled him off to juvie was..." I look off, blinking back tears. "I felt like I'd failed him like I'd let down the last person in the world who was supposed to have my back. Meme tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't shake the guilt… the feeling that I should've done more to protect him."
I let the tears flow for little Kenzie and for my brother. We were just doing the best we could, and it wasn't enough.
I don't try to hide my pain or pretend this shit doesn't still hurt because it does. And I guess it will until my brother is released from that hellhole.
Everett presses a tender kiss to my forehead, and I take comfort in the steady rise and fall of his chest, letting the rhythm of his breathing ground me.
"After that, it was just Meme and me trying to pick up the pieces. She was my whole world. The one constant in a life that felt like it was constantly unraveling." I let out a shaky breath, leaning into the solid warmth of Everett's embrace. "Losing her last year felt like the last thread holding me together had snapped."
Everett doesn't offer empty platitudes or hollow reassurances. He simply holds me, letting the weight of his presence say what words cannot .
In his arms, I feel seen and understood in a way I've never experienced before.
We stay like that for long moments, our bodies intertwined, our breaths synchronizing. The intimacy of the moment is almost overwhelming but in the best possible way. It's as if we're baring our souls to each other, stripping away the layers of hurt and fear that have kept us guarded for so long.
Eventually, I pull back just enough to meet Everett's gaze. His eyes are a swirl of emotions—sorrow, empathy, and something deeper that makes my heart skip a beat.
"Thank you," I whisper, my voice thick with gratitude. "For listening, for...understanding."
Everett cups my face, his touch achingly tender. "You've been through hell, Kenzie," he murmurs, his thumb tracing the curve of my cheekbone. "But you're still standing, still fighting. That kind of strength...it's rare. Beautiful."
A lump forms in my throat at his words, at the raw admiration in his eyes. This man, this reserved, amazing man who's seen the darkest sides of life, looks at me like I'm something precious, something worth cherishing.
My heart whispers, this is home.
And instead of running, I do the next best thing… I kiss him.
His lips are soft, and he is hesitant as if he's not sure how I'll respond. I deepen the kiss, parting his mouth with my tongue, showing him exactly how I feel.
He groans, a deep, animalistic sound, and I'm wet again. As Everett's lips part from mine, a rush of desire surges through me.
My heart pounds in my chest, and his hands roam over my curves, sending shivers down my spine. His fingers trace the swell of my hips and the dip of my waist, and I moan softly into his mouth.
He pulls away, his eyes burning into mine. "You're incredible," he breathes, his voice thick with desire.
I cup his face, my fingers lingering on the rough stubble on his jawline. "I want you to make love to me."
Everett's gaze darkens, his cock twitching against my belly.
"You know," he says, his voice husky with need. "I think you're the only person that's ever said that to me."
He settles between my legs, his muscular thighs pressing against mine. The heat of his body envelops me, a stark contrast to the chill in the air.
I gasp at the delicious stretch as he fills me inch by inch. I arch my back, taking him deeper, and he lets out a low moan.
"You fit like a glove, baby. "
"Mmmm," I hum.
He starts to move, thrusting slowly, his hands never leaving my hips. His strokes are deep and deliberate, his eyes never leaving mine.
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met, inside and out," he whispers, his breath hot on my skin.
"Everett," I breathe, his name a plea on my lips.
"Tell me what you want, Kenz."
"You," I gasp, my nails digging into his back, urging him deeper.
"You already have me, baby," he growls, his lips tracing the shell of my ear.
"Everett," I pant, desperate for him. My hips buck against him.
"Fuck, yes," he growls, driving into me.
He's relentless, his thrusts hard and deep, his pace relentless. The bed shakes beneath us, the headboard banging against the wall.
He's leaving tomorrow. What if this is the last time we...
"Harder..." I cry out, my body tensing, pleasure coiling tight in my belly.
He fucks me, his hips pistoning, his cock slamming into me, filling me.
My thighs tremble, my back arches and I come with a strangled cry.
He grunts, his fingers digging into my hips, his pace frantic.
"Come for me," I pant, my pussy clenching around him.
"Fuck, yes," he growls, his cock throbbing, his rhythm erratic.
He pumps deep and hard, his body shuddering, his breath ragged.
We come together, his name on my lips, his face buried in the crook of my neck.
As we lay in the afterglow, I feel more connected to Everett than ever. We talk softly, sharing stories and dreams, spooned together. I want to tell him how I feel, to describe the emotions swirling inside me. But I know I can't. Not now, not when he's about to leave on a dangerous mission.
Instead, I show him with every touch, every kiss, every whispered word of affection. I pour my heart into this night, hoping he can feel the depth of my feelings even if I can't say them out loud.
As exhaustion finally overtakes us, I curl into Everett's side, his arms wrapped securely around me. I fight sleep, wanting to savor every moment of this night. But eventually, my eyes grow heavy, and I drift off, feeling safe and loved in his embrace.
My last conscious thought is a silent prayer: Please, let him return to me .