17. Shadows of the Past
17
SHADOWS OF THE PAST
KENZIE
I wake up to giggles and tiny feet pattering down the hallway. For a split second, I forget I’m in Everett’s bed. Then it all comes rushing back.
He’s gone on his mission, and I'm alone with the girls.
"Miss Kenzie!" Harper's voice rings out. "We're hungry!"
I drag myself out of bed, throwing on Everett's discarded t-shirt from last night. It still smells like him, a mix of pine and something uniquely him . I push down the ache in my chest. No time for that now.
"Coming!" I call back, padding into the kitchen.
The girls are already there, perched on stools at the island. Hazel's got the cereal box in her hands while Harper's struggling with the milk jug.
"Whoa there, peanut," I say, rushing to grab the milk before it spills everywhere. "Let me help with that."
As I pour their cereal, my mind shifts through my daily tasks. Take the girls to school. Run by the grocery store. Load of laundry.
Two months ago, I was lost and alone. Now, I'm managing the Logan household.
I stop, and my eyes linger on Everett's stop at the table. I wonder where they are in the world. Did they make it to their destination? Is everyone okay?
"Miss Kenzie?" Hazel's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "When's Daddy coming home?"
My heart clenches. "I'm not sure, honey. But he'll be back as soon as he can."
"I miss him," Harper says softly.
"Me too, sweetie," I admit, praying time passes quickly. "But you know what? I bet he misses you girls even more."
"And you too?" Hazel asks.
Flashes of last night pass through my mind. Whispers of his promises. The heat of his skin.
"I think he misses all of us. Even Toady Toad," Harper suggests before shoveling cereal into her mouth.
"Uh-huh. Toady Toad is just nasty."
We laugh because Toady Toad is on the gross side. He's a huge frog we found on a hike last week. And somehow, he managed to find his way to our backyard.
The girls return to their conversation, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Crisis averted, for now.
As we eat, I run through the day's plan. It's Saturday, so no school. I need to keep them busy and distracted from Everett's absence.
"Hey, how about we spend the day at Miss Steph and Big Bear's ranch?" I suggest. "We could help with the animals. Maybe we can have a picnic?"
The girls' faces light up. "Can we ride the horses?" Hazel asks excitedly.
I laugh. "We'll have to ask Miss Steph, but I don't see why not."
An hour later, we're piled into Everett's truck (which still feels too big for me to drive), heading towards the Peterson ranch. The girls chatter in the backseat, and I let their voices wash over me, pushing away the worry gnawing at my gut.
Everett's fine , I tell myself. He's trained for this. He'll come back .
But a small voice in my mind whispers, What if he doesn't?
I shake off the thought as we pull up to the ranch. The girls are out of the truck before I can unbuckle my seatbelt, running towards Big Bear, who's waiting on the porch.
"Well, if it ain't my favorite troublemakers!" he booms, scooping them up in a bear hug.
I smile as I watch them. This is what family looks like, I realize. Not the broken mess I grew up with, but this—love, laughter, and unconditional support.
"Kenzie!" Mel's voice calls out. She's coming out of the barn, hay in her hair and a grin. "Glad you could make it!"
I hug her tight, grateful for her friendship. "Thanks for having us. The girls were going stir-crazy at home."
"Missing their daddy?" she asks softly.
I nod, not trusting my voice. Mel squeezes my hand. "He'll be back before you know it. Now come on, let's get these girls on some horses!"
The day flies by in a blur of laughter and sunshine. We ride horses, help feed the chickens, and even have an impromptu water fight when the girls decide to "help" water the garden. I'm exhausted but happy when we sit down for dinner.
Miss Steph's made her famous fried chicken, and the conversation flowed easily around the table. For a while, I almost forget about the Everett-shaped hole in my chest.
After dinner, while Miss Steph and Big Bear wash dishes with the girls, Mel pulls me aside.
"Come on," she says, tugging me towards the porch. "Let's have some girl talk. "
We settle into the porch swing, and the evening air cools my skin. For a moment, we just rock.
"So," Mel says finally. "Spill. How are things with you and Everett?"
I feel my cheeks heat up. "They're... good. I think. I don't know, Mel. It's complicated."
She snorts. "Ain't it always? Come on, give me details. Did you two finally..."
"Mel!" I laugh, shoving her playfully. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell."
"So there was kissing!" she crows triumphantly.
I bury my face in my hands, but I can't hide the smile spreading across my face. "Maybe a little more than kissing," I admit.
Mel squeals, and I have to shush her, glancing towards the kitchen window. "Keep it down! The girls don't know anything."
She sobers quickly. "Sorry. But seriously, Kenz. Are you happy?"
I pause, really thinking about it. "I am," I say slowly. "When I'm with him, it's like... I don't know. Like I've found a piece of myself I didn't know was missing."
Mel's quiet for a moment. "I get that," she says softly.
Something in her tone makes me look at her closely. "Mel? What's going on?"
She sighs, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "Can I tell you something? And you have to promise not to laugh."
"Cross my heart," I say solemnly.
Mel takes a deep breath. "I've had a crush on Axton since... I was knee-high to a grasshopper." She laughs, and there is a hint of self-mockery in her voice. "You'd think I'd have found someone else to obsess over by now!"
"Now you're ready to admit it?" I tease, remembering when she was tight-lipped about him a few months back.
She nods miserably. "I know, I know. It's stupid. He's never seen me as anything more than Everett's little sister's best friend."
"It's not stupid. Feelings are feelings."
"Yeah, well," she sniffs. "I think it's time I moved on. There's this guy, Jake. He asked me out on a date."
"That's great!" I say, then pause when I see her expression. "Isn't it?"
Mel shrugs. "I guess. I just... I don't know if I'm ready."
I take her hand, squeezing it gently. "Mel, listen to me. You deserve someone who sees how amazing you are. If Axton can't see that, then maybe it's time to give someone else a chance."
She looks at me, a small smile tugging at her lips. "You really think so? "
"I know so," I say firmly. "Go on that date. Have fun. And who knows? Maybe it'll be the start of something great."
Mel nods, wiping at her eyes. "Thanks, Kenz. You're a good friend."
We sit in silence for a moment, the porch swing creaking gently.
"What about you?" Mel asks suddenly. "Are you gonna give Everett a real chance?"
I sigh, leaning back. "I don't know, Mel. Part of me wants to just enjoy the moment, you know? But another part..."
"Is scared?" she finishes for me.
I nod. "Everett's... intense. It's like he sees right through me sometimes. And with everything that happened with Ian..."
"Ian's an asshole," Mel says bluntly. "Everett's not him."
"I know," I say softly. "But it's hard to forget, you know? And then there's the fact that I'm supposed to leave at the end of the year."
Mel's quiet for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Do you want to leave?"
The question hits me like a sudden blow, knocking the wind out of me.
Do I? A month ago, the answer would have been a resounding yes. But now...
"I don't know," I admit. "I've never had anything like this before. A place where I feel like I belong. People who care about me. It's..."
"Scary as hell?" Mel supplies.
I laugh. "Yeah, exactly."
"Well, for what it's worth," Mel says, bumping my shoulder with hers, "I think you belong here. And I think Everett sees that too."
Before I can respond, we hear the girls calling for us. "Miss Kenzie! Mel! Come look at the fireflies!"
We share a smile, standing up. "To be continued," Mel says with a wink.
As we join the girls in the yard, watching them chase fireflies and giggle, I think about Mel's question. Do I want to leave?
For the first time since I came to Silver Ridge, I'm not sure the answer is yes.
Later, as we're getting ready to leave, Harper tugs on my sleeve. "Miss Kenzie? Can we get milkshakes from Millie's?"
I hesitate. Going to Millie's without Everett feels... wrong somehow. But the hopeful looks on their faces melt my resolve.
"All right. But just a quick stop, okay?"
The girls cheer, and we head inside to say goodbye to the Petersons. I feel a warmth in my chest. This is my family, and I don't feel alone for the first time in a long time.
The drive to Millie's is filled with the girls' chatter about their day at the ranch. I keep an ear on their conversation, pushing down the nervousness in my stomach.
It's just milkshakes , I tell myself. What could go wrong?
Pulling into Millie's parking lot, I take a deep breath. "All right, girls. Let's make this quick, okay?"
They nod, but I can see the excitement in their eyes. We walk into the diner, and I immediately feel everyone's stares.
Keep your head up , I think. You have every right to be here .
We slide into a booth, and Betty comes over with a warm smile. "Well, if it isn't my favorite twins! Where's your daddy tonight?"
"A business trip," I say quickly before the girls can say anything too much. "We just stopped in for some milkshakes."
Betty nods, her eyes softening with understanding. "Coming right up, sugar."
As we wait for our shakes, I hear the whispers around us. I try to focus on the girls, asking them about their favorite parts of the day at the ranch. But it's hard to focus with people staring daggers in my back.
Finally, our milkshakes arrive. The girls dig in eagerly. I don't want to admit it, but being here without Everett makes me feel exposed and vulnerable.
"Miss Kenzie?" Hazel's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "Can we come back tomorrow with Daddy?"
My heart clenches. "We'll see, button. Your daddy might be tired when he gets back."
Harper's lower lip trembles. "But he promised to take us for ice cream when he got back."
I reach across the table, squeezing her hand. "I'm sure he'll keep that promise as soon as he can. Now, finish up your shakes. It's getting late."
Everett didn't tell the girls he'd be away for at least three days. I guess I'll have to keep them occupied at the house until he returns.
As the girls slurp the last of their milkshakes, I stand up to pay the bill. That's when I see him.
Ian.
He's standing by the door, his eyes locked on me. My heart starts racing, and I can feel my palms getting sweaty.
Not now , I think desperately. Not with the girls here .
I turn back to the booth, trying to keep my voice steady. "All right, girls. Time to go. "
They must sense my urgency because they don't argue. We make our way to the door, and I can see Ian's eyes following us.
As we step outside, I hear his voice. "Kenzie."
I freeze, my hand on the truck door. "Girls, get inside," I say quietly.
They scramble in, and I turn to face Ian. He's closer now, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath.
"What do you want, Ian?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Can't a guy say hello to an old friend?"
"We're not friends," I say firmly. "Please, just leave us alone."
I turn to get in the truck, but he grabs my arm. "Kenzie, wait. I just want to talk."
The girls scream, and I feel a surge of protectiveness. "Let go of me, Ian."
He releases my arm, holding up his hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just... I miss you, Kenz. I made a mistake."
I shake my head, keeping my voice low. "Ian, that's not possible. You lied to me."
"I know, and I'm sorry," he says, his voice pleading. "But I was going to leave Paige for you. I still can. We can start over."
I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "Ian, listen to me. What we had... it wasn't real. You were married. You lied to me. We can't go back from that."
His face darkens. "So that's it? You're just gonna throw away what we had?"
"We didn't have anything real," I say softly. "I'm sorry, Ian. But this needs to stop."
He's quiet for a moment, and I think maybe he's finally understood. Then he speaks again, his voice low and dangerous.
"It's because of him, isn't it?"
I tense, ready to defend myself, but then I remember the girls. They're watching, scared and confused. I need to end this, now.
"Ian," I say, keeping my voice steady. "This isn't about Everett. This is about you and me. And there is no you and me. Not anymore."
He stares at me, and for a moment, I see a flicker of the man I thought I knew. Then it's gone, replaced by anger and hurt.
"Fine," he spits. "Have it your way. But this isn't over, Kenzie."
He turns and stalks away, and I let out a breath. My hands are shaking as I climb into the truck.
"Miss Kenzie?" Harper's small voice comes from the backseat. "Are you okay?"
I force a smile, meeting her eyes in the rearview mirror. "I'm fine, peanut. How about we go home and have a bubble bath?"
The girls cheer, momentarily distracted from the scene they just witnessed. As I pull out of the parking lot, I catch a glimpse of Ian watching us leave. And not far behind him, I see Paige, her eyes filled with hate.
A chill runs down my spine. This isn't over, not by a long shot.
The drive home is quiet, the girls subdued after the encounter at Millie's. I keep glancing in the rearview mirror, half-expecting to see Ian's car following us.
Calm down, Kenzie , I scold myself. You're scaring the girls .
As we pull up to the house, I take a deep breath. "All right, ladies. Who's ready for that bubble bath?"
Their excited chatter fills the air as we head inside, and I feel some of the tension leave my body.
We're home. We're safe.
I run the bath, adding extra bubbles and even digging out some of the girls' bath toys. As they splash and play, I sit on the closed toilet lid, my mind racing.
I should call Everett. Let him know what happened. But what if he's in the middle of something important? What if I distract him and he gets hurt?
"Miss Kenzie?" Hazel's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "Can you tell us a story?"
I smile, pushing my worries aside for now. "Of course. What kind of story would you like?"
"A princess story!" Harper chimes in.
"Okay," I say, settling in. "Once upon a time, there was a brave princess..."
By the time the story's over, the water's cooling, and the girls are yawning. I help them out, wrapping them in fluffy towels.
"Bedtime for you two," I say, herding them towards their room.
As I tuck them in, Harper looks up at me with wide eyes. "Miss Kenzie? Is that man going to come back?"
My heart clenches. "No, peanut. He won't bother us again."
"Promise?" Hazel asks sleepily.
I lean down, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads. "I promise. Now get some sleep, okay? Good night, my sweet angels."
I wait until their breathing evens out before slipping out of the room. As soon as the door closes behind me, I lean against it, releasing a shaky breath.
What am I going to do?
I make my way downstairs, double-checking all the locks. I know it's probably overkill, but I can't be too careful after tonight.
As I settle onto the couch, my phone feels heavy. I should call Everett. But what would I even say?
Hey, my psycho ex showed up and scared the crap out of me and the girls. Oh, and by the way, I think I might be falling in love with you .
Yeah, that'd go over well.
I toss the phone aside, burying my face in my hands. How did everything get so complicated? A month ago, I was just trying to survive, to make it through each day. Now...
Now, I have two little girls who depend on me. A man who makes my heart race with just a look. Many people have become more like family than I ever thought possible.
And I have no idea what to do about any of it.
As I sit, lost in thought, I hear a noise upstairs. In an instant, I'm on my feet, heart pounding.
It's probably nothing , I tell myself. Just the house settling .
But after tonight, I'm not taking any chances. I grab the baseball bat Everett keeps by the door (and isn't that a whole other conversation we need to have) and creep up the stairs.
The noise is coming from the girls' room. I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and open the door.
Harper's sitting up in bed, tears streaming down her face. "Miss Kenzie?" she whimpers .
I drop the bat, rushing to her side. "What's wrong, sweetie?"
She throws her arms around me, burying her face in my neck. "I had a bad dream. The scary man was trying to take us away."
My heart breaks as I hold her close. "Oh, baby. It was just a dream. You're safe, I promise."
Hazel stirs, blinking sleepily. "What's going on?"
"Your sister had a bad dream," I explain softly. "Want to come over here?"
She nods, climbing out of her bed and into Harper's. I wrap my arms around both of them, holding them close.
"How about I stay here until you fall asleep?" I suggest.
They nod, snuggling closer. As I sit, stroking their hair and humming softly, I decide.
I'm not going anywhere. Not as long as these girls need me. Not as long as there's even a chance that Everett might want me to stay.
Silver Ridge might not have been the fresh start I was looking for when I got on that bus. But I'm not letting gossip rob me of my girls or Everett.
As the girls' breathing evens out, I feel my eyes grow heavy. I should get up and head to my own room, but with my two little angels resting peacefully in my arms, I can’t bring myself to move .
So, I stay, drifting off to sleep, their small bodies nestled against me. I close my eyes, savoring the warmth and tranquility surrounding us.
Just two more days until Everett's home.