Chapter 28
The same daythat Isaac was released from the hospital was the same day that Soren left town. It was one of the most bittersweet days I’d had in a while.
She had barely looked my way when she walked out the door, and I didn’t know what to do, or say. Because I had no idea what the fuck happened, and she didn’t seem to be inclined to talk it out.
Had Jude’s torture been too much? Had I turned her away and ruined everything we had?
Had she realized she enjoyed bringing him pain, and didn’t like that side of herself?
These questions and what ifs plagued me, and I didn’t feel I’d ever get the answer to them. If she didn’t talk to me, how would I know?
ME
I hope you’re doing alright.
I hope you’re safe.
I miss you.
Every text I sent to her remained unanswered and I couldn’t stop thinking of worst-case scenarios. Although it was incredibly likely that she had blocked my number as soon as she’d left. I knew she could take care of herself, but fuck if her safety wasn’t the thing that kept me up at night.
Without her usual witty banter keeping me company, what else did I have to do but sulk, which is exactly what I’d been doing the past week.
I’d stayed camped out on the couch in the living room, takeout containers and empty beer bottles littering the coffee table, and empty bottles of all the aged bourbon I’d saved up for a special occasion on the floor. I couldn’t remember the last time I showered or shaved, let alone left my house.
I also couldn’t remember the last time my brothers had left me the fuck alone. Even Maverick had been blowing up my phone, which was unusual enough as it was. I left it on for the first couple days, hoping they’d all get the hint, and secretly hoping to hear from Soren, but eventually I’d had to turn my phone off just to get some peace.
I’d even given Astrid time off, paid and indefinitely. I wanted to be holed up for as long as it took to get Soren off of my mind and out of my heart.
And I wanted to do it in misery.
She was the best thing to happen to me. I felt like getting up each day was chasing something that I could never have. I was chasing a temporary happiness. It was as if I was putting a bandaid on the gaping hole where my heart used to be.
I wanted to roll my eyes at myself for being so dramatic, but I didn’t even have the energy to do that.
A knock sounded at the front door, and I made no sudden move to get up from my face down position on the couch.
I thought I had made it pretty obvious that I had no intention of leaving this house. Someone hadn’t gotten the memo apparently, and that much was clear when they continued to pound on my door relentlessly.
“Fuck off!” I barked, doing nothing to help the throbbing in my head.
“You’d do best to watch how you speak to your mother, Kade Andrew Luchetti!”
Fuck.
I flinched and groaned as I pushed myself to a standing position and made my way to my front door. Leave it to my mother to whip out my middle name when she was pissed off and standing at my doorstep.
“Mother,” I greeted in a mumble as I opened the door and got a full on look at the fuming woman who’d given me life.
“Son,” she replied, pushing past me into my house. “You look like shit. Where is Astrid? This place looks like a pigsty.”
I hung my head and closed the door as she inspected the house. Leave it to my mother to come in and kick a man when he’s down within two seconds of being here.
“Yes please, come in and tear my already fragile ego to shreds,” I mumbled.
“You have no reason for your ego to be bruised, Kade,” she snapped as she spun around, looking still thoroughly pissed off.
“What are you talking about?” I questioned, utterly confused by her statement.
“You have no reason for a bruised ego. You let Soren walk away. She didn’t leave you. I saw the way that girl looked at you, you fool.”
I felt the muscle twitch in my jaw as I clenched it in anger.
“As much as I love our chats, Mother, I think it’s best you leave,” I gestured to the door.
“I just got here, and I haven’t said what I came to say yet,” she replied, making herself comfy on the couch I’d just been wallowing on.
I sighed loudly, making sure she heard it, before sitting in the chair across from her and giving her my full attention. My father’s death had truly changed her, making her rather bold.
“I’ve watched you grow from a rambunctious little boy into a man, and I know you and your brothers like the back of my hand. I have never seen you affected so strongly by someone that isn’t your family before,” she began, and I watched as the fire left her eyes and was replaced by sadness.
I hated being pitied more than anything, but I knew every bit of negative emotion I was feeling, my mom felt it tenfold.
“Soren brought you a happiness I haven’t seen in a long time. A happiness you deserve. I don’t care what you have to do, you have to go after her. You can’t let her slip away. I know she would want you to.”
“I’m not good for her. I would just mess everything up and drag her right back where she didn’t want to be. She didn’t want the Mafia life anymore, ma. She made that perfectly clear. The life I live isn’t something she wants to be a part of.”
“My son, I think you’re forgetting that life is all about choices. You’ve chosen this life for many years. You’re the one who can leave it all behind and go after the life that you truly want. To be with the woman you truly want to be with before you let her go forever.”
I hated how my mom always had a tendency to be right. How she always seemed to have an answer for everything wrong in my life.
“Mom, I don’t even know where she went,” I groaned, dropping my head in my hands, feeling like what she was telling me to do was impossible. But nothing was impossible when it came to the people you loved, right?
“Luckily for you, Vanessa has been kind enough to confide in me that she has kept contact with Soren, and knows where she may be,” my mother said with a smile, and I knew she’d accomplished exactly what she’d come here to do. Not only that, but she had finally caught a glimpse of my heart that I’d kept locked tight for so long.
“Tell me,” I said, a new wave of determination running through my veins. Soren was the light in my darkness, and my mother was right. I was a fool to let her walk away.
I wouldn’t make that mistake again.