Chapter 29
I sunkmy toes into the white sand of the beach, soaking up every bit of clear blue water that my eyes could handle. Coming to Bora Bora had been a split second, impulsive decision, but one I couldn’t bring myself to regret.
As soon as the money hit my account as promised by Finn, I decided that I wanted to take myself on a nice little vacation before I went back to reality, having chosen to settle down in Colorado. I wanted to be surrounded by mountains and trees, and my cute little cottage was already waiting for me when I got back.
But for now, I couldn’t get enough of the sun on my skin and the sand between my toes. I only had a couple days left; the week having flown by faster than I could handle.
I’d gotten a job at a quaint art studio in town not far from my cottage, about a ten-minute drive, and a second job bartending on the evenings and weekends. It seemed so normal that I relished in it. I hadn’t ever had a taste of normal, so I was going to jump in the deep end.
I’d never had to worry about money before or tending to things myself. I’d always had someone to guide me, or control me, or do things for me. Now I was truly on my own. It felt like I’d jumped without a parachute.
But a majority of the time, it felt like I had finally learned how to spread my wings and fly. I’d pushed back against the wind that tried to pull me down, sending me back to the hole I’d crawled so hard to get out of.
Nothing would take me back to that place again. I wouldn’t let it.
I had goals and dreams swimming in my head that I refused to let die again. I wanted to save up and open a huge exhibit in Colorado and showcase local art. I hadn’t wanted to take more money from my marriage with Jude and from Lilah’s death than I could swallow, wanting to cut my ties with them entirely. The two million dollars from Finn was just enough to not make me want to hurl every time I thought of it. It was always destined to be my money, even though they thought to take it for themselves, so it dulled the thought inside me.
It allowed me this time in paradise, a fresh start, a safety net, and the possibility to fuel my once dead dreams.
Laying in the sun, running a hand through my newly chopped hair, my mind couldn’t help but flash to Kade because he helped the girl with dead dreams who’d been growing soulless by the day get out of that hole she’d been in so long. I’d been screaming at the top of my lungs and clawing to get out, and he reached his hand out to grab mine and pull me out. It may not have been his intention at first, since he pulled me out for his own gain, but he ended up saving me, while taking my heart at the same time.
Never in a million years did I expect myself to actually fall in love with a Mafia man. Well, that’s not true. I’d hoped to fall in love with my husband, but he ruined that as soon as we said our vows.
I tried to have hope that something good could come out of the arranged marriage, and like some silver lining could come out of the bullshit. But no, I couldn’t be that fortunate. Instead I fell in love with the man who was supposed to be the secondary villain in my life.
I had no intention of ever leaving Kade, or turning my back on the one bit of love I ever truly felt. But asking him to walk away from his family was something I couldn’t bring myself to do. Not to mention he was acting so cold towards me when we got to his mother’s house for that meeting. It hurt less to walk away then, rather than have rejection staring me in the face later. At least walking away gave me control over the situation. I was the one who decided to cause myself pain for once, instead of someone else.
I tried to pull myself back out of that headspace, trying to keep with the good vibes. But fuck, I missed Kade. I missed the way his skin felt against mine, and the way he smelled, and the way I could make him smile, and the way he felt inside me.
I had an ache that I wondered if it would ever be filled. Nothing could replace that storm of a man who had blown into my life and swept me entirely off my feet.
I couldn’t help but feel pissed off at this man for wiggling into my mind while I was trying to relax and enjoy my little sliver of peace.
I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind, trying to clear it of all the negativity that strived to drag me down.
“Hello, princess,” a very familiar, deep voice came from behind me, belonging to the grouchy man who had just filtered into my mind.
How the fuck?
My eyes flew open, and I sat up and turned slowly, sure that I had just imagined his voice behind me. Because there’s no way on the face of the planet that he was here right now. I had done everything in my power to fly under the radar and avoid him finding me, but it wasn”t like I had expected him to show up anyway.
My eyes connected with a familiar pair of silver eyes, and I searched them, feeling like the air was zapped from my lungs. He looked absolutely delicious standing before me shirtless, and in a pair of swim trunks. He looked the most relaxed I”d ever seen him, and so incredibly out of his element.
Apparently, the lack of oxygen I was experiencing by seeing him made my brain slow to process the question of how he found me.
“Vanessa,” I grumbled, flopping back on my lounge chair. That little minx had spilled the beans on my location. I hated her but loved her at the same time, because while I felt dread at his presence, I also felt relieved to have him back at my side.
But I knew these feelings of happiness and relief were temporary. I’d walked away from that life, and I knew he didn’t have that capability.
“Glad to see you too,” he laughed, plopping down in the lounge chair next to me.
“What are you doing here, Kade?” I asked, avoiding the way his laugh made me feel.
“I came for you, love,” he said gently, and I felt like I was in a fever dream at the complete one eighty his personality had taken. I also felt like I was in that episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Izzy was sitting with her dead fiancé on a beach, after he said he had come for her.
She ended up being diagnosed with cancer. Was this the universe’s way of telling me I was dying?
The lack of oxygen was definitely getting to me now. I surprised both of us by laughing out loud, and I covered my mouth to try to stifle it.
His eyes turned to slits as he glared at me.
There’s the man I know and love.
“What’s so funny, princess?” He asked, his glare still going strong.
“I’d try to explain it to you, but it wouldn’t make sense,” I explained as my breathing slowed. “What do you mean that you came here for me?”
“I mean that I came here for you. I’ve come to take you home with me, where you belong.”
“Bold of you to assume I belong to you,” I scoffed.
“You do. There’s no question about it Soren. I love you, with everything I have. You were made for me. Your mind, body, and soul speaks to me. We’re forever intertwined. I don’t think I’d ever be able to get you out of my system. You are forever ingrained in my being, and I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you.”
I sat speechless because what do you say to that? What was I supposed to do? How does one process that love declaration?
I turned his words over in my mind, and I knew he meant every word he said. He was a man who felt things deeply and intensely.
But I couldn’t jump for joy and crawl into his arms yet. I had to remember why I’d walked away in the first place.
“Kade, you have no idea what that means to me, but I have to keep in mind that I walked away for myself. I walked away to escape the life that had kept me prisoner for so long. That life is all you know. It’s your family, and I can’t ask or expect you to walk away from your family. No matter how much my heart beats for you.”
The smirk that graced his features was full of mischief, and I couldn’t understand or tell what was going on in his mind.
“What’s so funny, Ace?” I asked, throwing his question and his glare right back at him.
“It’s funny that you think I wouldn’t give up anything and everything for you. I would burn the world down if you asked me to. I’d swim across the ocean if you needed me to. Which is why I’ve left the family business. My mother was actually the one who pulled me out of my emotional stupor,” he said with a laugh.
“But what about your family?” I asked, still not quite convinced.
“What kind of family would we be if we didn’t think about each other’s happiness and put it before all else?” He answered with a smile, and my heart cracked.
“I don’t know if I can put myself through heartache again, Kade. Your family is your life, and the Mafia is all you’ve ever known. How am I supposed to believe you’re willing to just give it all away for a girl you just met?”
“You’re not just some girl to me, Soren. You are everything I have been spending my entire life looking for without even realizing it. In the time that I’ve known you, you’ve healed what used to be broken inside of me. You’ve shown and proven to me that there’s more out there for me than blood and money, which I’ve been wanting to escape for years. If you didn’t come along, with your smart ass comments, your love for books and coffee who would I be? You’ve proven there’s still good in this world when I’ve been surrounded by bad for so long.”
I took in every single thing he said, tossing it around in my mind. Would I be willing to take the leap for him? Could I trust what he was saying? He’d had his moments before, but this time felt different. He’d literally chased me down courtesy of his sister-in-law just to tell me how much he cared for me, not even knowing if I’d give him another chance. Sitting here, pondering his words, I couldn’t hold myself back anymore.
I practically hopped up from my chair to throw myself into his lap, straddling him and wrapping myself around him. His arms felt like home, and his scent filled me with utter ecstasy, feeling like things had finally fallen into place.
“I love you, Kade,” I breathed, sitting up and meeting his eyes once more.
“I love you, princess,” he smiled, hitting me with a sucker punch of happiness. “I’ll never let you go again.”
He gently held my face, and the amount of admiration in his eyes was enough to make me melt.
He brought his face close, and his soft lips met mine, and all felt right with the world.
I pulled away from him, a devious idea already infiltrating my gutter of a mind. Especially feeling his chiseled muscles under my fingertips, and remembering the last time he had made me fall apart beneath him.
“Kade?” I asked breathlessly, glancing towards my bungalow on the beach, and hoping he got the hint.
“Yes, princess?” he asked with a smirk, and if the lust in his eyes and his erection growing beneath me were any indication, his mind was just as dirty, and his body was just as wanting as mine.
It’s what makes us so perfect for each other, right?
I said nothing as I peeled myself away from him, already missing the feeling of his skin underneath mine, I grabbed his hand and led him towards the beach house. I had never been so happy to splurge a little extra for privacy. However, I didn’t necessarily plan on having to worry about anyone hearing me screaming Kade’s name when I first booked it.
Liquid pooled in my belly just thinking of what was to come, and as soon as I walked through the doorway, Kade turned and shut the door, slamming me against it and crashing his lips to mine in complete and utter need.
His signature taste of bourbon filled my mouth, and I drank him in, never wanting to forget it. He took both of my hands and lifted them above my head, pinning them with one of his hands. He was holding nothing back in this moment, and I relished in it, not wanting him to slow down or go easy on me. If Kade had taught me anything about myself, it was that I didn’t have to worry about asking for what I wanted when it came to sex, and I liked it rough.
His free hand trailed down my body, skimming over my bikini top and already causing my nipples to pebble, before tortuously taking his time to my bottoms, and skimming the band of it with his finger.
As his hand moved back up, I heard his intake of breath as his fingers passed over my scar, and saw his eyes begin to sadden and the guilt begin to seep in.
That just won’t do.
“Stop blaming yourself, Kade. Enjoy this with me,” I said gently, and I could tell my plea didn’t entirely work, as his lips met mine again at a gentler pace.
A thought crossed my mind, one to distract him from his darkening thoughts, and I broke away from him, kneeling before him.
“Soren,” he groaned, already reading the intentions all over my face.
“Please, let me do this for you. Let me finally return the favor,” I replied, pulling his swim trunks down and allowing his erection to spring free.
I gasped slightly, my mouth already watering, almost forgetting how big this man was, and questioning how I’d ever taken him before.
“See something you like?” he teased, and I already knew my plan to keep him here with me and out of his mind was working.
“Always,” I smiled, before taking his length in my mouth slowly, savoring the taste of him and the way his cock felt against my tongue.
Never in a million years would I have thought I’d enjoy giving a man head, but watching Kade’s reaction alone to my mouth on him made me never want to stop.
“Undo your bikini bottom strings,” he rasped. “I want to watch you play with that pussy of mine.”
I moaned around him, the pleasure already too much from his demands. I kept working him over as I undid my strings with one hand, leaving me bare before him. I began circling my clit with my fingers, building up the pace.
“Fuck, Soren,” he growled, before gripping my hair and fucking my mouth, letting my other hand free. “Play with those perfect tits.”
I could have exploded with just his words alone, palming my breast and taking my nipple between my fingers. With his noises of approval and the stimulation I was giving to myself, I could already feel an orgasm cresting, and I began to cry out around Kade’s dick.
“Come for me, Soren,” he demanded, and it was enough to send me over, my fingers working quickly and sloppily over myself to work through my orgasm.
Kade took himself out of my mouth, his cock leaving with a wet pop, and practically dragged me over to the four-poster bed. He laid down flat on his back, ushering me on top of him so my legs were straddling him.
“Sit on my face baby, I want to taste you,” he said, wiggling down the bed so my cunt was hovering over his face.
I did what I was told as he gripped my ass in his hands, and he worked magic with his tongue, lapping up every bit of my arousal that I had to offer. It was almost enough to make me combust again, but I couldn’t resist not having him inside me anymore.
“Kade,” I whimpered. “I want you.”
“Where, baby?” He asked, his words muffled against me.
“I want your cock inside me, Kade, please,” I practically begged, for once feeling no shame at demanding what I wanted. If his moan of approval was anything to go off of, he was happy to oblige.
He scooted himself closer to the headboard, positioning my entrance right above him, ready for him to claim me again as his own, and to thrust inside me and fill all the cracks of my soul that were already beginning to heal.
We were staring into each other’s eyes, speaking without words, waiting to see who broke first. I couldn’t hold much longer, ready to have this man inside me.
But he beat me to the punch, slamming me down onto his cock, causing me to gasp at the way he filled me, stretching me deliciously around him.
“I can’t believe I forgot how perfect you fit around me. How your pussy was made for me. I’m going to need a reminder every day,” he said in between thrusts, pounding me without mercy. And I didn’t want mercy. I wanted him to give me everything. I wanted him to fuck away every little worry that was left in my head. I wanted him to take every thought away, so I didn’t have to process anything anymore. I wanted my brain and my body to only be filled with Kade.
And that he did, as I became lost in him, the only sounds being flesh on flesh, him fucking me relentlessly, and our heavy breathing. As my orgasm built so intensely, I knew that soon the room would be filled with me screaming his name.
“Kade,” I moaned, using his name as a way to let him know he was about to push me over the edge for the third time, and I wanted to take him with me.
“I’m there, baby,” he growled, using the last of his energy to thrust in me harder and harder, leading us both into release.
“Soren!” He practically roared, and I had never been more turned on to hear my name fall from his lips. It was the most erotic thing to hear him lose control and it was by my doing.
I fell against him, chest to chest, my forehead resting on his shoulder, and both of us panting for breath.
I felt like I could stay in this little bubble of ecstasy forever, thoroughly satisfied, and not having a single worry in my mind.
“I could get used to this,” I mumbled against him.
“I could too,” Kade agreed, finally pulling out of me, and moving me to his side so he was holding me in his arms.
“I don’t know where life is going to take us, Soren, but I can promise you that I’ll never leave you again. If you’ll have me,” he teased.
“I would love nothing more,” I replied, because he was right. Without a shadow of a doubt, I’d be by his side. He had sacrificed everything to be with me. If that wasn’t true love, I didn’t know what was.
I was just grateful that after everything I’d been through, I had finally found him.
Granted, he was my dark knight, but he had saved me nonetheless.