6. Mean
MEAN
BISHOP
I faintly hear a feminine voice calling my name as I stormed across the clubhouse. But the only voice I want to ever hear saying, Bishop, is letting a motherfucker grind against her ass.
Both of them must want me to show my ass tonight. Everybody here should know that she is off limits. And Blue has lost her goddamned mind if she thinks I'm going to let that shit fly.
We may have been doing this little dance for a few years now, but she knows better than to test me. The brothers see me as wise and come to me for advice, but there’s a reason that I’m one of the scariest motherfuckers in this place.
“Back up,” I growl at Slam. He’s a brother from our New Mexico chapter.
Slam gets a good look at my face before he slowly removes his hands from Blue’s hips. He backs up and raises his hands in the air like I have a gun pointed in his face. I’m cool with every brother in here, but I won’t hesitate to put a motherfucker down if they try me.
“No disrespect meant, Bishop.” Slam nods, walking away.
“Why would you do that?” Blue asks me calmly.
One of the things I’ve noticed and respect about Blue is that she always keeps her cool. I suppose it is also one of the many reasons that she’s such a great nurse. I’ve seen her assess situations and stay calm many times.
However, the coolness in her tone is pissing me off. I can see the fire in her eyes, and I know she’s pissed as fuck. But she keeps up this cool facade to make me think she doesn’t care. But we both know that’s not true.
“Don’t play with me, Blue. You know exactly what’s up. We’ve had this conversation already.”
“You mean the conversation where you said you couldn’t give me what I wanted?
Or when you threatened to beat any brother’s ass who dared to look in my direction?
You didn’t think I knew about that, huh?
So, which conversation are you talking about?
Fuck you, Bishop.” Blue waves her hand in my face contemptuously, scowling.
I grab her hand and pull her flush against my body. I sway us to the music that’s still playing and tuck my face into the side of her neck. I can never resist her when she’s this close to me. I always take her attention however she will give it to me.
Even though I know it’s wrong, and I can’t make her mine, I press our bodies together as close as two people can get. I love the feeling of her body against mine.
It takes a full minute before Blue sighs and relaxes into me. I continue moving us to the beat when I feel her fingers glide to the back of my neck. The lightness in her caress has a way of calming me down like nothing else.
I wish I could have her.
“Why do you keep doing this, Bishop? You made it clear that we could never be together the way that I want. You’re the one who said you didn’t want a relationship.”
“And I told you that if you fucked another motherfucker I would beat his ass,” I growl into her ear.
“Oh, how I love the sweet nothings you whisper in my ear.” Blue rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
I can see the disappointment written all over her beautiful face. I want to reassure her that things between us can be different. But I know that’s not true.
Blue is not the kind of woman that you can just fuck and leave alone, and I can only do fucking. And if I do say so myself, I do that incredibly well. But if I fuck her, I know that it will set us on a track of heartbreak. I don’t want to take that chance.
“You know what’s up. I told you from the jump, so don’t act like this is all my fault.” I pull her head back so she can look me in the eyes.
Blue’s big brown eyes are still narrowed.
I know she’s feeling some type of way, but I don’t care.
She’s being stubborn right now. I know what I can give her and what I can’t.
Some might call me an asshole, and that might be true.
But I won’t lead a woman like Blue on, even though the thought of her being with somebody else makes me see red.
“I don’t want to play this game with you anymore, Bishop. It’s been almost two years of this semi-platonic bullshit. I haven’t dated a Hellhound, mostly because all you guys know how to do is fuck. But I feel safe here. I can be myself here.” Blue shakes her head again.
“Of course you’re safe here, baby. I’d do anything to protect you. I’d do anything for you, period. You know that,” I respond, rubbing my fingers against her soft cheek.
“Anything except be my man, right?”
“Blue…” I sigh her name like an unanswered prayer.
Blue stops our swaying and looks me dead in the eyes. I’m not sure what she sees, but when she nods and steps away from me, my heart shatters.
“I refuse to keep doing this. You don’t want me, and you don’t want anyone else to want me either. I’m getting off this ride to nowhere. Take care of yourself, Bishop.”
Blue walks away, but I refuse to just let her go. I call her name several times, but she doesn’t stop. I run my hands through my beard and sigh.
“Fuck!”
“So, you would rather chase some young bitch than be with a real woman, huh? Fuckin’ typical,” Trixie says, sucking her teeth.
I don’t know where the fuck she even came from. I had no idea that she followed me to the dance floor. I don’t know why she bothered. What I do know is, she’s got me fucked up if she thinks I’m going to let her talk to me crazy.
“You don’t worry about who the fuck I chase. You don’t run shit. Watch your fuckin’ mouth bitch.” I scowl at Trixie, giving her a once-over.
Trixie frowns, “So, that Black bitch can say whatever she wants, but I can’t?”
“No, the fuck you can’t. All you need to do is mind the business that pays you. And it ain’t mine. If I have to remind you again, you will have to find another place to party.”
“What? You would kick me out for asking questions?” Trixie scoffs in disbelief.
“You don’t ask me questions, bitch. Now, get the fuck outta my face before you piss me off.”
“Mean motherfucker,” Trixie mumbles, stomping off.
She ain’t the first bitch to call me mean, and she won’t be the last. Because I am a mean motherfucker. Especially when my heart longs for something it can’t ever have.