Chapter 17 #2
But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t choose for me like before.
“No riding just yet—at least not bulls—but you can start lifting weights. Nothing crazy, though. Low weight, high reps, okay? Don’t want to undo all your hard work. And you can start driving.”
I nodded. “Got it.”
“And avoid that again, if you can,” he said, pointing his pen at my bruised knuckles.
I flexed my hand, relishing in the subtle ache in the joints. “Yeah, that…couldn’t be avoided.” Just the memory of that piece of shit had my blood boiling. The way he looked at Savannah like she was trash, the things he said to her.
I should’ve hit him harder. Hit him until every moment he had with her was wiped clean from his undeserving memory.
“Figured. I’d say maybe another six weeks minimum before you’re okay to ride.”
Six weeks. Six weeks until I could feel the bull handle in my hand, hear the roar of a crowd, or say goodbye to it all. It felt like forever. It felt like no time at all.
I swallowed roughly. “Sounds good.”
“You’re way less excited than I expected,” Matt said, eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“Just a lot sooner than I thought, that’s all,” I replied. I shook his hand and promised to see him next week. On the way out of the rehab building, I tossed my sling in the trash, not wanting to look at it for another second.
“Six weeks,” I sighed, staring out into the parking lot. I sent Sav a text with the news, not exactly sure how she’d take it. And then I called the second person who needed to know.
“Weston!” Austin said as he answered the phone. His smile was thick in his voice. “Just the man I wanted to hear from.”
I rolled my eyes. If he wanted to hear from me so bad, then why not just call me? “Hey,” I said with about half his enthusiasm. “Just left PT.”
“And?”
“Said another six weeks.”
There was only silence. Silence long enough that I pulled the phone from my ear to see if the call dropped. It hadn’t. “Austin?”
“I’m here.” There was a long sigh. “That’s…a while. Not what I was expecting.”
My grip tightened on the phone. “Well, it was three months two weeks ago, so I’d say that’s pretty good progress.”
“Yeah, yeah. Of course. What about those plasma injection things? I’ve read those speed up healing. You could be back in half that.”
I scowled at the pavement. Was he serious? “I’m not injecting myself with shit just to get back before my body is ready,” I said through clenched teeth. Beau pulled up to the curb, watching me with a frown.
“It’s not shit. It’s your own blood. The cells—”
I cut him off. “I don’t care.” Beau tapped his wrist, and I held up a finger. I swallowed roughly. “Actually, I’m thinking about taking a step back.” I sucked in a deep breath. “Maybe even hanging it up.”
The words were deafening as I said them. I couldn’t believe my mouth could even form them. It somehow felt even more real now that I’d said it to someone other than Sav. Like the final snowflake that causes an avalanche.
Austin scoffed. “Hang it up? Are you kidding me?” I didn’t say anything. “You’re at the height of your career, Weston. Number three in the world. After everything we’ve worked for, after eighteen years of blood, sweat, and tears, retiring now would be a mistake. A colossal one.”
My chest burned hot like acid. “It’s my hard work that got me where I am,” I growled.
“No one else’s. Just like it’s my decision to make.
And what you’re not gonna do is pressure me into coming back before I’m ready.
” I ended the call before he could respond, sick of feeling like nothing more than a commission check to him.
Beau was quiet as I climbed into the truck, but I knew he wouldn’t be for long. “Thanks for getting me,” I murmured, looking out the window.
“Of course.”
“I’m cleared to drive now, so I won’t need rides anymore.”
He chuckled. “That’s good considering you drove last night.” There was a beat of silence. “Which was somethin’.”
I wasn’t sure which part he was referring to, so all I said was, “Yeah.”
“So what does that mean for, you know, you and Savannah?”
I ran my hands over my jeans, straightening in my seat. “Not really sure. There’s a lot to talk about.” I didn’t know if she was staying here or what I was doing. “A lot of decisions to make.”
“About what?”
“Her work…mine.”
He glanced over at me. “You thinkin’ about retiring?”
“Yeah,” I admitted, and something inside me chipped away. My identity or my fear of losing it, I didn’t know. “I just…” I ran a hand through my hair. “How did you do it?”
His brows furrowed. “Do what?”
“Pick between Claire and the Cavendish partnership.”
He was silent for a moment, thinking. “I took a hard look at myself and the kind of man I was: alone, lonely, workaholic. I thought I was okay with it, but really, I wasn’t.
I was miserable.” He smiled to himself, something soft.
“But then Claire showed up. And I realized I wasn’t walkin’ away from Cavendish, but towards her and the life I wanted. The life I thought I didn’t deserve.”
“Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been a part of the picture at all.
I’d still be alone, buried under even more work, and resigned to being the fun uncle.
” He shrugged a shoulder. “It sounds fuckin’ awful.
Yeah, I gave up millions, but no amount of money could replace the happiness I have now. ”
“First off, we all know I’m the fun uncle.” We both laughed. “And second, I don’t know how to give up riding. It’s all I’ve ever known, all I’ve ever been good at. It’d be like cutting off an arm.”
He put the truck in park and turned towards me. “Would you rather not have an arm, or not have a heart?”
The question hit like a slap of clarity. One I hadn’t seen coming.
“I know you love riding, and the world knows just how damn good you are at it. But that’s not all you are, Weston, and Savannah sees that.
Sees that better than anyone.” He rested his hand on my shoulder.
“Trust me, the love of a woman who sees you, sees all of you, is worth more than any buckle you could win.”
I nodded quickly, swallowing back the knot in my throat. My eyes burned as I looked out at the pastures. “Thanks, Beau,” I rasped, my voice gruff with emotion.
He was right. So right. And yet, I was still struggling to let go, and I couldn’t figure out why. I’d always been a bull rider, and maybe I wasn’t sure Savannah would love that version of me who wasn’t. If I would love that version. Whoever he was.
He clapped my shoulder and nodded once. “Always.” He climbed out of the truck, a hand on the door when he turned. “By the way, if you interrupt me and my girl again, I’ll kick your ass.”
I laughed, wiping away the tear rolling down my cheek. “Noted.”
He shut the door and went to the barn, leaving me to think over what he said, my mind a mess.