Chapter 18
Savannah
I read over the Agricultural-Residential zoning code for the county for the sixth time, the words blurring together until I couldn’t make sense of it.
I rubbed my eyes, sighing heavily. I planned on citing this code ten ways to Sunday for the zoning board hearing coming up. I needed to know it like I knew my Social Security number. The future of Golden Circle was riding on it—on me.
But I couldn’t memorize it when I kept thinking about Weston. About what happened at the Bull Pen with Stewart last week. About potentially not having a life to return to in Dallas. About possibly giving it all up when Weston still hadn’t decided what to do about his career.
I changed my position in my chair for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, sighing again.
“You okay over there?” Levi asked from across the hall, where he sat at his desk.
“Yeah,” I replied automatically. He arched a brow. I set my highlighter down, leaning back in my chair. “No,” I grumbled.
He got up and crossed the hall, leaning against my doorframe with his hands in his pockets. “Want to talk about it?”
“I just…” I ran a hand through my hair. “You were at the Bull Pen, you know what happened.”
He scoffed amusedly, scratching the back of his head. “The whole town knows what happened thanks to the Whispers.” He didn’t sound particularly thrilled about it.
“I couldn’t even bring myself to read it.” And I religiously read the Whispers like a dirty little secret, even when I was in Dallas and California before that. Delilah would send me a picture of it every morning.
“Probably for the best.”
“The guy that showed up, the one Weston hit, he was my kind of fiancé.”
Levi’s brows shot up. “How is someone a kind of fiancé?”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that his father is a managing partner at my firm back in Dallas. And since I ended things with Stewart, that probably won’t do me any favors with moving up in the firm.”
His lips went into a thin line, and he nodded once, getting it without me needing to explain the inner workings of a patriarchal firm that would punish me because I wounded a fragile ego. He sat down in the chair across from me. “What was your position with the firm?”
“I’d just been promoted to senior associate right before my mom died.”
“Are you serious?” I nodded, fiddling with my highlighter. “And you’re twenty-nine?”
“Yeah.” It was a feat within itself that I moved up so fast, especially in a firm as large as Kessler, Trammel, and Maddox. I gave up my twenties for that firm, worked my ass for it, had no life because of it. And to think I’d have nothing to show for all of that was honestly…devastating.
But I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back to that life either. One with no work-life balance, hollow conversations, having to always be on, not knowing who was real and trustworthy. I didn’t have to worry about any of that here.
“And one of the partners asked me when I’m coming back from bereavement leave, and I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing, which is even worse.”
“Because of this suit or…”
Or Weston. He didn’t need to say it.
“Both?” I leaned back in my chair, staring at the ceiling.
“I don’t know. I told myself and Claire that I’d stay and help with the merger.
But I didn’t know it’d turn into this,” I said, waving a hand at the stacks of paper on my desk.
Just looking at it filled me with dread. “Your family seriously sucks, Levi.”
He let out a scoff. “You’re telling me. I had to grow up with them.”
I slumped in my chair, resting my hands on my stomach. “I just feel kind of lost, I guess. And Weston doesn’t know what he’s doing either, so it’s not really helping. I don’t function well without a plan, without some kind of structure.”
“Here’s some structure,” Levi said, leaning forward.
“How would you like to be a partner? Here?” My breath hitched in the back of my throat, my eyes darting to him.
He glanced around my office. “I know it’s not much, especially not by BigLaw in Dallas standards, but it’d be yours. ” He met my stare. “With me, that is.”
“Are you…” I straightened. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” He chuckled. “Name on the door and everything. You’re a fantastic lawyer, Savannah, and I’d be stupid not to extend the offer at least. You wouldn’t be making the same obviously, but you’d have—”
“I accept,” I blurted. Then I slapped my hand over my mouth, my eyes wide. I’d never made a rash decision. Never. But this? It felt like taking charge of my life. It felt like doing what felt right instead of what sounded right.
Levi froze. “You…you accept?”
I blinked, my heart racing. I nodded, lowering my hand from my mouth.
“Yes,” I whispered, grinning.
A startled laugh left him. “Okay, then.” He licked his lips, eyes darting all over the floor in disbelief. He seemed just as shocked as I was. “I’ll uh…I’ll draw up the paperwork.”
I was shaking. “Great.” I stared around at the four walls that had just become my office in my law firm. It felt surreal. A dream come true. And absolutely fucking insane.
“Not that you asked, but some advice?”
“Sure.”
“The stuff with Weston,” he started. “I’ve found that focusing on work helps. Don’t avoid it, obviously, but also don’t let it consume you, either. If he’s figuring stuff out, give him the space to do it.”
“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” I said, arching a brow. “I saw you with my sister, you know. At the Bull Pen.”
I could’ve sworn every muscle in his body went rigid. “She’s my client.”
“You dance at the bar with all your clients? WCL must really embrace the interest part of conflict of interest.” Because that’s exactly what it was, if anything were to actually happen between them: a conflict of interest.
He looked down at his lap. “No. I don’t,” he said, quieter. An admission if I’d ever heard one. And I had…lots of them. “It’s complicated. For obvious reasons.”
“I bet.” Levi could be disbarred. Tess and Luke’s case could be in jeopardy. It was about as messy as it could get.
“Has she said anything to you?” I didn’t miss the slight hint of hope in his voice.
“No, but Tess always keeps her cards close to her chest.”
He scoffed, unsurprised. “You’re telling me.”
I clasped my hands on my desk. “Someone once told me to focus on work instead of personal issues. Really smart guy.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Smart guy, huh?”
“So far. He just offered me a partnership.” I shrugged. “I’d say it’s the smartest thing he’s done since we met.”
He chuckled, running a hand over his jaw. “I’d have to agree.” He looked up at me then. “I want to help with this case with Preston and my grandfather.”
I snorted. “Well, you’re just crossing all kinds of ethical lines today, aren’t you?” I knew as well as he did that he couldn’t officially help with this case, just like he couldn’t be romantically involved with Tess. “You sure I should become your partner?”
“Very sure. Just behind the scenes help. I might have some connections that can help us.”
“Okay, partner,” I said. I turned to my laptop, staring at my inbox and the email from Tim Maddox that I had ignored weeks ago. “I guess I should send in my resignation,” I sighed.
“I’m going to go draft your contract,” he said, standing. He stopped short, resting his hands on the back of the chair he was just in. He smiled. It was hopeful, sincere, genuine. “This is going to be good, Savannah.”
I looked up at him and nodded, hoping he was right.
Later that evening, I was with Wes by the creek while he fished, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Not the partnership, or my decision to give him space after Levi’s advice. “I need to tell you something.”
He flung the line out into the water. “Okay.”
“I was talking to Levi, and—”
He turned to look at me, already exasperated. “Oh God, what have they done now? Is there another cocked woodpecker? Something wrong with the goddamn air?”
My head reared back, looking up at him from where I sat on the ground. “What? No. This isn’t about Sterling and Preston. This is about me.”
The rod fell to his side, long forgotten. “Oh.”
I patted the blanket I was sitting on. “Come sit.”
He stared at the blanket like it was a trap. “You’re freaking me out, Sav, what is it?”
“Will you just come sit with me?”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on,” he said, putting his hands on his hips.
“He offered me a job. As a partner, actually.”
His jaw fell open, brows raised. “Are you serious?” I bit back my smile, nodding. He sat down next to me quickly, eyes searching mine urgently. “So you’re staying here? You’re not going back to Dallas?”
I shook my head. “No. There’s nothing there for me anymore.”
“Savannah!” I met the ground with a laugh as he launched himself at me, his arms wrapped around mine. “Oh my God, I can’t believe this.” He pulled back, his face hovering over mine. His eyes were sparkling, his smile bright. Brighter than the sun shining behind him. “Tell me this is real.”
“It’s real, Wes.”
All the air left my lungs from his kiss.
It was one of pure excitement and joy that I felt down to the marrow of my bones.
I ran my hands up his arms, along the tattoo he got for me, reveling in this moment because I knew it wouldn’t last. “I love you so much,” he whispered against my lips, kissing me again. And again and again.
“I love you, too,” I giggled, licking my lips. “That’s the good news…”
Weston pulled back, his expression instantly changing. “There’s bad news?”
“It’s not bad, so to speak.”
“What is it?”
I looked at his chest, running my hands along his arms still. “I think we need to take some space.”
He sat up, frowning at the ground. The air lost some of its warmth, its vibrancy. “Space? We just had a decade of space, Savannah.”
“I know, but I can’t keep being like this with you when you don’t know what you’re doing about riding. It’s not fair.”
Wes scoffed, incredulous. “Not fair? It’s not fair? Do you hear yourself right now?” His glare was cutting. “You want to know what’s not fair, Savannah? You ending our engagement and then not speaking to me for over a decade, that’s what’s not fucking fair.”
I looked down at my lap, picking at my nails. “I’m not going to make you choose between Pbr and me. And this isn’t me saying I don’t love you because I do,” I said, my voice wavering. “I’m doing this because I love you.”
“Bullshit,” he hissed. “You’re just looking for an excuse to run again.”
I flinched at the accusation. It was the furthest thing from the truth, but I understood why he felt that way.
“That’s not true. I don’t want you to make this massive decision about your life based on me.
I know how much riding means to you, Weston, and I think if there isn’t”—I waved a hand between us—“this, then your judgment won’t be clouded. ”
“So what? We’re just supposed to go back to how things were? Not seeing or speaking to each other? Fuck that.”
“No. We just won’t be…this.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “And what exactly is this, Savannah?”
“Us. Together.”
“And what if I don’t decide to retire? What then? Are you going to vanish out of my life again?”
“No.” I let out a shaky breath and took his hand in mine. “I’ll wait,” I said. “I’ll wait for you.”
He froze, the frost in his eyes cracking. “What do you mean you’ll wait?”
“When you decide to retire, I’ll be here, waiting.” I took his hand, placing it over my racing heart. The muscles in his jaw tensed, his eyes locked on where we touched.
He was warm, solid, against me, just like he’d always been. Solid in a way that assured me that this was the right decision, no matter how hard it’d be.
“You were right, there is no running from this. From what we have. And I don’t want to run from it.
My heart is yours, Wes, it has been since I was sixteen.
But I’m not going to come between you and your dream.
Your passion. Your life’s work. So if you want to keep riding, do it. I’m not going anywhere.”
He swallowed roughly, blinking quickly. “But you said you can’t…”
I squeezed his hand. “I’ll be ready to hit the resume button,” I said, using his words.
“What if you meet someone else?” he whispered. “Someone better.”
I shook my head, smiling. “There’s only you for me.”
His eyes met mine then. They were glassy, but not from sadness, not entirely. “You’d really do this for me?”
“Yes. You’re worth staying and waiting for. However long it takes.”
“I don’t deserve you. Never have,” he rasped, his chin quivering.
I leaned in, giving him a soft kiss. “Stop that. You’re everything to me.” I kissed him again.
“Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye again?”
“Because I am. For now. But not forever.” Another kiss because I couldn’t help myself, and I knew he wouldn’t deny me. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
“Are you sure?” He didn’t sound like this version of himself then, but the boy who had been left behind all those years ago.
I stroked his cheek. “Yes, baby, I’m sure.” I kissed him one more time. “This isn’t really goodbye. Just see you later. And it’s not like I won’t see you around. We’re neighbors.”
He nodded at the ground. “Okay,” he said quietly.
I stood, my hand lingering on his face as he looked up at me. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he said, and kissed my palm, holding it there for a moment.
And then I forced myself to leave, knowing it was for the best. For both of us.