Chapter 19
The food that Heidi had given them was delicious.
They ate fresh, pink salmon, green leafy vegetables, and buttery slices of potato that had somehow all been baked to perfection in their foil parcels with no intervention at all.
They divided the food into two and sat closer to the fire now that the sun had dipped behind the mountain.
The lights under the ceiling of the old cabin came on by themselves once it was dark enough, thanks to a solar panel and a light sensor.
Once that happened, it transformed the beach into something far more intimate.
‘I asked Emilie if she could cover me for the next couple of days and that’s fine,’ Ida said, once she’d finished her food and was topping up their wine glasses.
‘That’s great. I hope you don’t mind, but I ran it past Mats and he thinks we could take an extra day. He said he’d cover for you so we can have a full day in the middle without travelling.’
Her first reaction was to mind very much that he’d been making arrangements for her when she was quite capable of making them herself. But she hadn’t wanted to ask Emilie to cover more than a couple of days and if Mats was willing, what was there to be upset about?
‘That’s a good idea. Thanks.’
‘You’re sure?’
She nodded, glad that he recognised the fact that he may have overstepped because it was much harder to be cross with him now than it had been a few days ago.
She knew now that when this happened, whether it was asking Mats to cover for her, or asking her to let him know when she got home, it came from a good place.
Everything with him came from a good place, and she could use some of that in her life.
Someone to look out for her for no other reason than that they wanted to make sure she was okay.
‘I think I’m owed some time off. Let’s enjoy ourselves.’
They grinned at each other, but Ida wondered whether Erik was thinking the same as her; that their days were numbered.
Because they were. And there was no way she was thinking of anything other than this being a holiday romance, because she couldn’t, but also it was horrible to think that it was all going to end in a few days.
They didn’t leave it too late to paddle back, because even though it wasn’t far, it was spooky paddling along this part of the fjord now it was getting dark.
The mountains seemed to close in around them and apart from the gentle splashing of the waterfall from around the corner, it was eerily still.
They left the beach and the old cabin exactly as they’d found it. ‘I wonder if anyone has ever come across this place by accident?’ said Ida as she climbed back into the kayak, reaching out to take the bag from Erik.
‘I guess Heidi would know. There are bound to be signs if someone else has been here. Things you’d only notice if you were usually the only person using it.’
‘It feels so far away from the island, even though it’s only around the corner.
It’s been here this whole time.’ It was quite magical.
And now it was a place that would always be special.
Maybe somewhere to come when she missed Erik, because she knew she would.
Or maybe that would be too hard after a few more days together.
It was hard to imagine that she’d come out of this unscathed to the point she’d be able to sit on that beach without sobbing.
‘So, onto the next adventure. Do you need to pack for tomorrow?’ Erik asked as the island came into view.
‘Yes. I think Mats is staying here tonight so he can do the first run over to Bergen in the morning. The shuttle boat won’t be up and running until after lunch. He could drop us at home so I can pack, then we can get a bus to the station.’
‘Great plan. I feel bad that Mats was alone for dinner tonight.’
Ida scoffed. ‘What were you going to do? Invite him to join us?’
‘No, but maybe we should have stayed and eaten with him.’
It was a nice thought, but there were so many times when Ida had been left home alone when Mats and Lotta went out; she didn’t feel bad at all.
They hardly ever suggested she go with them unless other people were going too, and it was a group.
‘We don’t need to do that. Don’t feel bad about leaving him out just because you’re workmates now,’ she teased.
‘I love my brother, but he can’t come on our dates. Sorry, Erik.’
He laughed and Ida smiled as she watched his shoulders bounce up and down. ‘Okay. I better tell him Voss is off.’
The following day they arrived at Bergen Station with enough time to grab a coffee and pastry to eat on the train.
Ida hadn’t been to Voss since the Christmas before last. The first one after their father died, when none of them could face being in the house in Loddefjord for a Christmas which felt the same on so many levels but was fundamentally never going to be.
The journey to Voss took just over an hour, and in that time, the train climbed through the mountains, giving them a wonderful view of the town when they reached Voss station. They’d left behind the slight drizzle in Bergen and stepped out of the train into a bright sunny day.
‘Can we walk to the cabin?’ Erik asked.
‘It’ll take us twenty minutes and it’s uphill. Shall we get a taxi?’
‘Let’s walk.’ He took her hand in his and smiled.
Ida led the way through the town, climbing gently upwards away from the centre, which was built up and newer, and into the edges of the town where older cabins were spread out across the lush, green hillside.
It was uphill, but it was a gentle incline and the views were distracting enough that you didn’t notice.
‘Here we are.’
The cabin was a simple one-storey building, but it was large.
The roof overhang at the front made a covered porch where a couple of chairs faced out over the valley.
Ida had a sudden vision of her parents sitting out here together, talking and laughing in low voices when they thought Ida and her siblings were asleep.
It made her smile to think of them like that.
It had been a long time since she’d been able to think of them as anything other than the people they’d been in the last weeks and months of their lives.
This was a welcome memory, and she was glad she’d come.
‘You okay?’
‘Happy memories,’ she smiled, wiping a tear away.
The key was underneath the doormat as always. Erik laughed when he saw that.
She opened the door and straight away knew that someone had been there recently. The place had a lived-in feel that was unusual. Being shut up for months on end made the air stale, and it wasn’t.
‘I think one of my sisters must have been here recently,’ she said.
‘You guys don’t tell each other when you’re using it?’
‘We always used to come together. We don’t have a system or anything.’
She headed through to the bedrooms. There were three.
One that had been her parents’, a tiny one with bunk beds for the boys and another with bunk beds and a single bed that had been hers and her sisters’.
The single bed was made up, which was odd.
Someone had forgotten to strip it before they left.
‘This place is cool,’ said Erik, standing in front of the kitchen window. It had the best view of all, looking across to the ski slopes. ‘Man, I would have loved to board here.’
‘We can do something if you’d like? Rafting? Cycling? Paragliding?’
‘I think I would prefer to pour my energy into something else.’ He fixed his gaze on Ida and she felt herself turn to mush.
‘Let me make the bed.’
‘What can I do?’
‘Bring some wood in? We might want a fire later.’
Ida went into her parents’ room. It was easier than at home because they’d never kept much at the cabin.
It was full of memories more than things.
When they’d come for Christmas, she’d brought new bed linen for that room, knowing that using the sheets they all associated with their parents’ bed would be too much.
With the five of them plus Emil, someone had to take this room.
In the end, she and Ingrid had shared it, and it had been fine.
She pulled the sheets out of the cupboard and made the bed. All she wanted to do was spend three days right here with Erik, but they were going to have to venture out for food at some point because the cupboards were bare.
Later that evening, after they’d strolled into town and back for groceries, they made a quick meal of pasta with a jar of pre-made sauce, and sat on the veranda with glasses of wine in their hands.
‘This place reminds me a lot of where I live in Banff. I haven’t been back there much since my accident. I thought it would be too hard.’
‘Is this hard?’
‘No. Maybe because I’m with you,’ he smiled at her. ‘But also it’s summer so no one else is boarding either. And I guess at home all my friends are from boarding. I’ve kind of avoided all of that.’
‘I know it’s not the same, but there is so much I’ve avoided since my parents died. I didn’t want to talk to anyone who knew them because they might not know they’d died, or they’d be sorry for my loss.’
‘That’s it though. It’s easier to take yourself away from all of that than put yourself through the heartache.’
‘But maybe you have to have some of that hurt to be able to move forward?’
He looked at her. ‘It was hard enough dealing with the fact I could hardly walk for months. I think that’s why even now, I still feel angry sometimes.’
‘About what you’ve lost?’
He nodded. ‘All because of some guy who was out enjoying himself and didn’t pay attention to what was going on around him. Sometimes I wish I could have five minutes with him to make him understand what he did.’ Erik’s eyes were fixed on the view but Ida could tell he wasn’t looking at it.
‘That would make you feel better for about five minutes but it wouldn’t change anything.’
‘I know.’ He sighed. ‘My whole life was ruined in a split second. It’s hard not to be mad about that.’
Ida remembered how grumpy he’d been in those first couple of days after he arrived at Lysg?rden. ‘If you’re still in pain sometimes, that makes it harder to put it behind you. It must have been pretty bad.’
He looked at her and she got the feeling this wasn’t something he usually talked about. He’d told her about how he was injured but she sensed the aftermath was almost worse.
‘Yeah. The guy went into my side, landed a jump on me. My leg took the impact, but with my arm broken too I couldn’t get mobile for weeks.
That set me back from the start. If it had just been my leg I could have kept my fitness up but once the cast came off my arm and I could use crutches, I’d lost so much. The rehab was just brutal.’
Ida reached over and squeezed his hand. ‘And you’re still recovering.’
‘I guess.’
‘Look how far you’ve come. You’ve done the hardest part already.’
He looked at her, his eyes shining with tears and his jaw tight. He nodded and Ida slipped out of her chair and onto his lap, taking him into her arms. She wanted to take all of this hurt away for him.
‘I’ve never told anyone this stuff before.
I think my mom knows but I don’t talk to her about it because she went through all of that with me.
She needs to think I’m okay now. And my dad…
it’s like he always thought the snowboarding wouldn’t work out.
He was waiting in the wings ready to take me on as a joiner when I failed. ’
‘You didn’t fail, Erik.’ She fondled his soft earlobe while she gazed into his eyes, wishing the hurt away.
‘It’s hard to remember that when I’m there. Coming here was the best thing I ever did. Somehow sitting here in a ski resort with you doesn’t hurt like it would at home.’
‘We haven’t seen a snowboarder today, maybe that’s why.’
He laughed. ‘Trust me. That’s not it.’