Chapter 20
Telling Ida about his accident was cathartic.
Letting her know how it still affected him sometimes didn’t feel like the admission of weakness he thought it would.
She understood. If he was grumpy sometimes because of it, better she knew why.
A pang of guilt made him resolve to be more open with his mom when he got home.
He’d seen the hurt in her eyes when he snapped sometimes, but it was easy to push the guilt aside when he was hurting too.
But after all she’d done for him, literally nursed him back to health, she didn’t deserve that.
It had taken being away from her for a while to see it.
‘You know when you got here, you said you’d come to do family research. Have you managed that yet?’
He’d been waiting for the right time to bring this up and Ida had done it for him.
‘It’s hard to know where to start. I think my great-grandfather was from the Bergen area. He may even have worked on the farm, Strandg?rden, it was called then.’
‘We found a map when we were clearing out the house that had that name on. That’s amazing. Our ancestors might have known each other.’
‘Pretty amazing.’ He shifted in his seat. He loved Ida sitting on his lap but it was kind of uncomfortable at this point, and not because of his leg. This felt like the moment it was all going to come out.
‘What else have you found out?’
‘I found a newspaper article with a photograph of my great-grandfather. I think there’s definitely a link between my great-grandfather and the island.’
‘Isn’t that incredible,’ she said, her eyes shining.
It was too much. ‘Ida.’ He shifted so she had no choice but to get up.
‘Sorry.’ She got up and went back to her own chair. ‘You have to tell me when you’re in pain.’
‘I’m not.’
‘Liar.’
He sighed and rubbed a hand over the back of his head. He felt like a liar, but not in the way she meant, even though at the moment, it was an omission. He’d said all he could without actually telling her. And he didn’t want to tell her here.
‘Really. It’s just a hard ache from the walk up here.’
‘Liar.’
‘Ida…’ He smiled and shook his head. ‘How did you become so good at reading my mind in a few days?’
She grinned and shrugged then sipped her wine. ‘It’s my superpower.’
‘Huh. Want me to show you my superpower?’
She laughed. ‘Yes!’
He stood up and pulled on her hand until she was standing in front of him. She felt so good in his arms. He didn’t want to ruin these precious days by admitting that some of her brother’s land might actually belong to him. Once they got back to Bergen would be soon enough.
The following morning dawned bright and sunny again and Erik felt the urge to explore. Kayaking was a good option, not as strenuous as cycling but limited to the fjords, which he already felt he’d seen.
‘I have an idea,’ said Ida over coffee. ‘We could take the gondola to the top of the mountain. There are some great hikes we can do from there but it’ll give us a head start.’
That sounded good to Erik. He trusted her to choose what they did and knew he’d be able to tell her if he needed to tap out.
‘It goes from the centre of town so we can pick some food up on the way and maybe eat at the restaurant afterwards.’
‘It sounds like the perfect mix of exercise and relaxation.’
‘I aim to please. Also, I haven’t been on the gondola for years and I wouldn’t have been interested in hiking around when I got to the top.’
Erik laughed. ‘Are you being outdoorsy for me?’
‘Absolutely.’
With food and an extra layer in his backpack and sunscreen and water in Ida’s, they rode the gondola to the top of the mountain.
It was stunning. Instead of the huge peaks of granite that bordered the fjords in Bergen, these were flatter hills that joined together without deep valleys in between.
The trails were well-marked with something for everyone, whether it was a short walk around the top of the hill they’d arrived on, or a longer walk that covered several peaks.
‘We’ll go on this one,’ Ida said, pointing on the map to an eight kilometre walk. ‘It’s pretty flat, but it has superb views over the river.’
‘I’m good to go,’ he said, feeling confident.
Being such a lovely day meant that the summit was quite crowded, but once they headed away on their chosen trail, there were fewer people and the ones they came across greeted them with a ‘Hei!’
‘Everyone’s so friendly,’ he said, moving back to walk beside her after scooting in to let some others pass.
‘You’ve lived in a city for too long,’ said Ida.
‘Maybe so. How often did you come here when you were young?’
‘It felt like we were here all the time. It’s so easy to get to on the train. After the first snow, we used to come most weekends. We knew all the kids from the cabins around ours, and we could ski right from the door. It was so much fun.’
‘And you didn’t come in the summer? It seems pretty great right now.’
‘Bergen’s pretty great in the summer. We used to spend the holidays at the beach. Like the one we went to the other night, but on a bigger scale. The water’s shallow enough to swim without freezing to death. And my brothers liked to be out on the water in the boat. We really only came here to ski.’
‘Yeah, my place in Banff is only a great place to live in the winter. In the summer I’d rather be in Toronto to camp and kayak and stuff.’
‘Is it still going to be a great place in the winter?’
‘Yeah, I don’t know. Probably not. I know I’m not going to snowboard again but selling my place feels like admitting defeat. That sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.’
‘It’s not stupid. It’s drawing a conclusion to that part of your life. That’s hard.’
‘That’s why you guys haven’t sold your parents’ house yet.’
‘Yes. Because deciding to sell it means I have to have a plan and I don’t have one.’
‘Seems to me you’re confusing having a plan with having somewhere to live. Your plan is working at the hotel, helping Mats to grow the business as he expands?’
‘But is that me planning my life, or me taking the easy option of working for my brother?’
‘Does that matter if you’re enjoying it? That’s the important part, right?’
He could see Ida’s mind whirring away as they walked.
‘I do need somewhere to live. I love working at the hotel, but it feels like I’m avoiding the rest of my life.’
‘I’m the one doing that, Ida.’ He took her hand and kissed it. ‘You’re way too hard on yourself. Let yourself be happy.’
‘I am happy.’ The way she smiled at him made his heart lurch.
He felt the same way and he hadn’t let himself think too hard about anything else these past few days.
This place had him in its grip and he so badly wanted to stay, but it was a reaction to being out of Canada.
Being away from the place that made him feel like he’d failed.
It felt like all the possibilities lay here now, and that was frightening.
‘I’m so happy, Ida.’ He tugged her hand, and they stopped walking.
She leant her back against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her as they looked out at the view.
He dropped a kiss onto her head, and she kissed the hand that was resting on her shoulder and hooked her hands over his forearm.
‘Du kommer til ? knuse hjertet mitt,’ she whispered. Then she turned to him and said, ‘We’re going to break each other, Erik.’
He wasn’t sure she’d said in English what she’d whispered in Norwegian, but there was nothing he could say to that.
He couldn’t disagree; he felt like he’d fallen too far to leave without a backward glance, like he might have done if it had been a holiday romance.
And he had no business offering her anything either.
He didn’t know what life looked like for him beyond this vacation.
How could he bring Ida on that journey with him?
She turned in his arms and nestled her head in his shoulder. ‘I’d rather have this and be heartbroken than never have met you.’
‘Me too, Ida, me too.’ He held her so tight. Admitting that to each other was huge but he knew neither of them could envisage what a happy-ever-after looked like. And that was the problem. Had they met too soon? Too late? Whatever, it was bad timing.
They found a good spot to sit overlooking the river where people were rafting. There were pools of deep blue water linked by stretches of rapids.
‘That looks like fun,’ he said.
Ida shuddered. ‘Not my idea of fun.’ She pulled the water from her backpack and handed it to him.
He laughed. ‘You’re not a daredevil.’
‘And happy not to be.’
‘Hey,’ A guy they’d walked past a few minutes ago was standing behind them, looking at him. ‘This is going to sound weird, but are you Erik Anderson?’
Erik got to his feet. He was used to this happening, not outside of Canada, and not for a while, but he wasn’t as surprised as Ida.
‘Yes. Good to meet you.’ He shook the guy’s hand. ‘You a snowboarder?’
‘I’m a coach with the Norwegian ski team. I saw you compete at the Worlds last year. Saw you land that backside 2340. Man…’
Erik grinned. ‘Thanks. Yeah. That was a good one.’
‘Were you in Bulgaria this year?’
‘No. Injury.’
The man gave a sympathetic nod. ‘Double ACL’s took me out of competing a few years ago but coaching’s the next best thing.’
Erik nodded like he understood, even though he couldn’t fathom how being around the people still able to do what you love when you can’t wouldn’t hurt like hell. And he wasn’t about to ask.
‘Great to meet you.’
‘You too.’ The man went back to his partner who was waiting for him on the path.
‘Was he speaking English?’ Ida said.
Erik burst out laughing. ‘Want a translation?’
‘Yes!’
‘He saw me compete at the World Championships last year. I landed the most difficult jump in snowboarding and won the gold.’
‘No wonder he remembered you. You’re famous in snowboarding circles.’
‘I guess.’
‘Erik,’ she said, leaning into his side and trying to push him over. ‘Don’t be modest. Not snowboarding anymore doesn’t mean all of that never happened.’
He nodded. ‘But that’s exactly what it feels like. Or like it happened to someone else.’
‘Have you thought about coaching?’
‘Honestly? No.’
‘Maybe it’s too soon. You probably need more time to come to terms with what’s happened.’
‘There isn’t enough time in the world for that to happen, Ida. I know you think you’re going to break my heart but it’s already a little broken.’
‘I know.’
‘But being here has helped. Somewhere different with something different to concentrate on.’
‘You’re less grumpy than when you got here.’
‘That sounds like it was supposed to be a compliment.’
‘It is a compliment! Now can I get some food out of your bag before we start off again? I’m starving.’
By the time they got back to the cabin, Erik was a little sore but happy to be. They’d had the best time.
‘Mind if I take a nap?’
‘Not if I can take one with you.’
They lay on the bed, holding hands, and dozed off.
Erik woke. He was on alert, sure he’d heard the door of the cabin open. Ida was still asleep. He was stiff so couldn’t leap off the bed in the way his body was urging him to, and by the time he got to standing, there was a woman in the doorway of the bedroom.
‘Who are you?’ She was a little shorter than Ida and there were other things about her that made him think of Ida.
‘I’m Erik.’
‘Thea! What are you doing here?’ Ida leapt off the bed and ran over to embrace her sister.
Thea didn’t answer.
‘It’s great to see you!’ Ida said. ‘This is Erik.’
It amused him that Ida gave no explanation as to who he was. It was fairly obvious since they’d been on the bed together but also, what would she say? Friend? Lover? He smiled to himself as he watched the two women.
‘What are you doing here? You never come in the summer,’ said Thea.
‘Erik’s visiting the island and he needed a change of scenery.’
‘You do that for all the guests?’ Thea raised an eyebrow.
Ida laughed. ‘Erik and I are dating.’
‘Oh, okay.’ Thea smiled at him, her eyebrow still raised.
‘Good to meet you,’ he said, wondering if he should kiss her on the cheek or something.
‘Han er amerikaner.’ Thea said to her sister.
‘Canadian,’ he said.
‘He’s a joiner. Used to be a snowboarder,’ said Ida. ‘Come on, let’s have a drink.’
Erik shook his head and followed them out of the bedroom. Hearing himself described like that was kind of funny. A shorthand between sisters distilling his life down to a few words. Is that what he wanted those words to be?