Chapter 26
Hannah had tried not to make it too obvious, but it was as though a different kind of madness now inhabited her.
She remembered her feelings when she first boarded the Ballygowan, how she’d thought herself filled with madness then, how she hadn’t known what to do with herself past running away from what Ian had done to her.
How the whole idea had been its own kind of craziness and she’d been sure she should have stayed at home and worked things out properly.
That it felt insane to be doing the opposite.
The more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself it wasn’t pure lust – although there was no doubting her absolute animal reaction every time she saw Louis – she was sure there was more to it.
And that was bonkers because this was a moment in time, a holiday romance, a rebound affair – there were so many labels she could apply to what was happening between them. Except she didn’t want any of them to be correct. The label she wanted to apply was ‘love’.
But how could it be? She’d never really understood the whole ‘insta love’ thing, hadn’t understood how it was possible to fall so fast and so hard for someone you’d only just met.
After all, her relationship with Ian had been built on solid foundations – and that was how Hannah had always supposed it should be.
It made sense to choose someone who slotted into the life you had.
And if Ian hadn’t messed around, she wouldn’t ever have looked further.
She’d been happy. She’d always believed in what they had, which in turn had made his betrayal so devastating.
But now all her logical thoughts and plans had been blown out of the water by this amazing man.
Louis had messaged her to come straight to the bridge.
She arrived to see him issuing instructions and answering questions for a junior member of the team.
The fluttering in the base of her stomach when he saw her, the smile she’d grown accustomed to as he wandered across to greet her – that couldn’t be wrong, could it?
And if it was wrong, she didn’t particularly want to be right.
‘Two minutes?’ he said.
‘No problem,’ she said, revelling in his gaze and the touch of his fingers against hers as he gave them a brief squeeze before continuing his checks. Hannah looked around for Portus, noticing him in his usual sentinel position on the stool by the window.
She headed across to him, appreciated the positive greeting of a yowly purr, the way he rubbed the edges of his whiskers against the hand she offered him.
‘Has Millie been spoiling you?’ she said.
The cat stood, tail on end as he assessed her.
‘Are you expecting me to get you something?’ she asked with a grin and was rewarded by a loud meow.
‘He’s having such a great trip,’ Louis said, appearing at her shoulder and reaching across to rub at the crown of Portus’ head. ‘Never usually gets this much fuss. Mind you, nor do I.’ Louis’ voice dipped as he added, ‘We’re both loving it.’
Hannah stifled a laugh, tipping her chin up to look at him. Struggled to remember, in that moment, that they were in a public place and she couldn’t simply stand up on tiptoes and kiss him.
‘Ready to go?’ he said.
They found a nook at the far end of a quiet Crow’s Nest and ordered a couple of ‘Angel Gabriel’s ginger beers’.
‘I wanted to ask if you have plans yet for St Lucia tomorrow?’ he asked.
‘I’ve never had such an unplanned Christmas Day in my life. I did think I might see if Millie wants to go snorkelling – apart from that, nothing is set in stone. I haven’t mentioned it to Millie yet, after what happened at the beach yesterday.’
Louis grimaced. ‘No. Poor kid. Cramp is so painful. But she’s all good today, I hope?’
‘Yes. Completely recovered.’
He flashed her a bright smile, his hand reaching for hers, briefly lacing their fingers together. He’d done the same thing in bed the night before, right before she’d… Hannah swallowed, bright pinpricks of heat flaming in her cheeks.
His smile dropped away, his expression becoming intense, his focus on her absolute.
‘I can’t quite believe this is happening,’ he said. ‘You were the last thing I was expecting on this cruise.’
Hannah gave a wry smile. ‘Yeah. I had other plans, too. Good job they didn’t work out.’
He leant across to kiss her, momentary and featherlight and filling her with fire.
‘I can have most of the day on shore tomorrow. We’re sailing past the Pitons tomorrow evening, while we have the Captain’s Christmas Dinner – so I’m officially on duty then, even though the bridge team will be doing the sailing.
But the day can be my own, once we’re safely docked. I’m all yours, if you want.’
Hannah frowned, wishing he would stop saying things that made the base of her stomach do peculiar things.
‘Or not, whatever you prefer,’ he said, misinterpreting her expression.
She shook her head. ‘No – I’d love to spend time with you tomorrow. Sorry, it’s just that every time you say something like that, my brain does the smuttiest thing possible with it.’
‘Say what?’ Louis’ face scrunched into a smile. ‘What… “I’m all yours” – you mean that?’
Hannah nodded, biting her lip between her teeth as she tried to stop herself from blushing even harder.
‘Well, I am,’ he said, his voice husky and low as he added, ‘So, what do you want to do with me?’
Ruth was struggling to understand the magnitude of coincidence required for Teddy to be on the same Caribbean island as her after – God, how long had it been.
Thirty years…? Had to be. What was that line from that film, the one about of all the bars in all the towns, or something like that.
Change that to art galleries and cruises, and it fitted the bill perfectly.
He looked well. More than that – Teddy looked the same as he had the last time she’d seen him.
Bits of grey showed in his otherwise dark hair, and he now wore glasses – that was different – but the rest was just how she remembered him.
Crow’s feet radiating out from eyes that glittered whenever he spoke.
A high widow’s peak in hair whose style basically hadn’t changed in thirty years – always classic and remaining so.
Ruth felt a pang of memory – her friends used to say he was boring.
But they’d never known him like she had.
He wore a short-sleeved button-through shirt, pale blue and matched with chino shorts and a pair of sandals revealing the scar radiating up from his big toe earned when he’d decided to DIY a set of shelves in her mother’s house.
A disastrous attempt at currying favour with a suspicious potential mother-in-law who had already decided they were far too young for marriage, which in turn ended with a trip to A it was my wife’s dying wish. I just don’t know how.’
Ruth hadn’t expected him to be so open. She’d expected him to brush her off, tell her it had been nice to see her after such a long time, but that he needed to get back to his perfect life. He began to wind his wedding band around on his finger, his thoughts elsewhere.
‘I’m sorry about your wife,’ Ruth said.
‘Yes. So am I,’ Teddy said, smiling wistfully. ‘She meant the world to me.’
Ruth swallowed, but the lump in her throat showed no sign of moving.
In a way she was glad she’d been so successfully replaced.
That had been the whole point of leaving, of cutting all ties with Teddy and allowing him to move on with his life.
But to hear her plan had worked so effectively stabbed deeper than she’d thought it would.
‘Are you on the Ballygowan? I didn’t see another cruise ship docked. Although, you know, I’m not the most observant person in the world.’
Ruth’s heart jumped at the news he was on the same ship. ‘Yes, we are. It’s lovely to see you again. You look really well, Teddy.’
‘So do you, Roo.’ He pulled in a breath. ‘Well, I’ll let you get on with your day. Maybe see you on board?’
Ruth nodded, unable to say anything else as she watched him walk away. There had been so much she wanted to say, but none of it was appropriate, or fair, to say to him. And it didn’t seem as though he was desperately interested, either. It was all too late.
‘Who was that, Mum?’ Millie asked.
‘Just someone I used to know,’ Ruth replied.