Chapter Five #2
‘Absolutely not,’ Brooke called over, having downed her champagne.
‘I am responsible for the due diligence of this pitch and it’s important there is a fair and robust process.
If you all do the same thing at the same time then nobody can accuse me – or any of us – of special treatment.
Both teams need to have an identical experience. ’
‘So, other than mealtimes – and the activities between mealtimes – we are free to do exactly as we please,’ I whispered to Heidi.
‘Free as caged birds,’ she seethed.
If the Excalibur account wasn’t so important we’d have both thrown ourselves overboard by now and started swimming for the shore.
But no, we had to work out how to sell these cruises differently, and quick.
Brooke didn’t rate the Cool Cruisers campaign.
Noted. So we needed something new that would sell more and do better.
And the best way to figure out what that might be was to become cruisers and immerse ourselves in the experience like method actors.
Whether we liked it or not, we were all here and in it together, and we had to get on with it.
‘Any questions?’ Dahlia asked, staring us down like an officious PE teacher. We shook our heads.
‘Excellent. In that case, ahead of us getting started tomorrow, I was gonna give you a real quick orientation of the ship,’ Dahlia said, her blue eyes shining.
‘Fantastic!’ Leo and I said at the same time jumping up, and even with his head bent down to read the map, I could see Zach smirking to himself.
‘Have fun, kids!’ Brooke gave us a wave then settled down to sunbathe as Dahlia led the way. ‘See you at dinner!’
‘Anything you wanna know, you go right ahead and ask. I’m new here, but I’ll be getting up close and personal with the guests – I always do.
It’s my job to keep them entertained, and there’s nothing more satisfying than transforming their vacation with an activity they love.
The light changes in their eyes, you know? ’
The Sun Deck went on and on, with cocooned daybeds for two, where the odd pair of legs poked out from snoozing cruisers.
I’d expected it to be more like an Alligator Park, full of writhing bodies on packed sun loungers, fighting for space, but it was much classier than that.
Dahlia opened the doors to another restaurant and we followed her in.
‘I’ll just do you a quick whistle-stop for now to help you get your bearings – we’ll be walking around for a week otherwise. Where you’ll eat and drink and where you need to meet me tomorrow for aqua.’
‘There’s plenty of time for us to see it all,’ Leo said, staring up at the crystal chandeliers, which twinkled in the sunlight.
The dining room was swanky and modern, with pale concrete tables and plum chairs.
Esmeralda was taking the brand up a notch, that was for sure.
Gone were the cheap wooden trestle tables and multicoloured carpets; the floors were now a textured stone and the ceilings were edged in intricate coving.
Greg was serious about trying to attract a different type of customer.
‘Exactly. So here we have the fine dining restaurant, where you’ll eat at the captain’s table. Dinner is served at eight on the dot and the food is divine.’
‘Black tie I presume?’ Leo asked.
‘Oh yes. The guests go all out to impress. Tailored tuxedos, kilts and sporrans… the works. Some of the dresses and shoes I’ve seen wouldn’t be out of place at the Met Gala.’
Heidi looked my corporate work wear up and down, and I could see her changing her mind. None of the outfits I’d packed were particularly Oscar-worthy. I’d have to go ‘Gaga’ and make a dress out of salami from the breakfast buffet.
‘Tell me you’ve got something appropriate,’ she murmured, and I nodded. There was no point both of us worrying about it.
Then on to the main bar, which was like stepping into the rainforest, with panoramic views of the ocean.
The air was fresh and balmy, with evergreen trees marking out the pillars and wisteria hanging down from the beams. A barman poured out porn star martinis and banana smoothies and guests were lounging around on the sofas enjoying them and making themselves at home.
‘Help yourselves to drinks,’ Dahlia said, and we all picked up a glass.
‘This is one of twelve bars on the ship, but the one we imagine a lot of people will use in the evening as it’s so close to the main restaurant.
The drag cabaret will be in here as well, with our resident queen Barbie Queue, who you briefly met earlier. ’
We all tittered and I wondered if she might be an interesting front for our campaign.
‘The salsa classes are in the ballroom, through those double doors,’ she said, pointing to the next section of the boat. ‘But let me take you downstairs and show you the activity pool where we’ll be doing aqua aerobics and water volleyball.’
We finished our drinks and followed her down the spiral staircase and out onto the deck. When she said whistle-stop, she meant it: I could barely keep up. The pool was already teeming with people, splashing about and enjoying the swim-up bar, which seemed like a recipe for disaster to me.
‘Are we OK to observe the aerobics? It’s not really my thing,’ Zach said.
Heidi jumped straight in. ‘Same here.’
Dahlia looked embarrassed at the question. ‘Sorry, guys, I’m under strict instructions to make sure you’re fully immersed, and Brooke wants you to take part.’
‘I’m happy with that,’ Leo said, with a winning smile. ‘I love activities.’
‘Me too!’ I said, not to be outdone.
‘That’s er… great,’ Dahlia said, giving us a strange look.
This trip was going to be hell.