Chapter Twenty-seven
Twenty-seven
Esmeralda slowed to a standstill, chuffing smoke into the air as the crew ran around throwing ropes and the engines shut down.
I was glad to be back on British soil – well, almost. Our big cruising adventure was finally over, and we were back in Blighty.
Back to real life and real work. How depressing.
I’d been hiding in the loos to avoid bumping into Leo and had emerged cautiously as Thiago announced we’d reached the shore.
Heidi had been right all along: he’d been trying to distract me from the pitch and I’d fallen for it hook, line and sinker, and I hated myself.
I stood at the back of the pool bar, silently observing the other passengers as they lined the decks and readied themselves to disembark.
It was a mighty sight to see everyone in one place and humbling to be one among so many.
Leo was stood with Zach and Brooke, the three of them watching as the drawbridge eased down and people inched closer, ready to make a run for it.
He kept checking his phone then glancing around and had already sent me three texts.
Leo: Where are you? I want to say goodbye properly.
Leo: Have you fallen overboard? Drop me a pin and I’ll come and find you.
Leo: I’m starting to worry. Are you OK?
I debated ghosting him but didn’t want him calling out the RNLI.
Me: Just coming.
Leo: Thank God. Don’t do that to me. We are by the drawbridge.
I forced a big smile and marched over, channelling my inner Barbie Queue. I was a professional woman and could ab-so-lute-ly handle this situation. Bryce was in my ear – You’ve one hundred per cent got this. You know exactly what to do. I’d say a quick toodle-oo and be on my way.
‘Hey, you three, I thought I’d missed you!’ I said, grinning from ear to ear. ‘Where have you been?’
‘Same spot as always, sweetie,’ Brooke said. ‘In the coffee lounge.’
Leo frowned. ‘Where have we been? Where have you been?’
I carried on smiling, ignoring the question. ‘So, this is the end of the road then, huh?’
‘It sure is,’ Brooke said, giving me a hug. She was so small and fragile – I could easily have lifted her off the ground and popped her in my pocket.
‘Thank you for being such a fabulous hostess and letting us experience Esmeralda first-hand. It’s been an incredible trip.’
‘Not at all. It’s the Excalibur way – expect nothing less.’
Zach shuffled awkwardly, while Leo tried to catch my eye. ‘It’s been great getting to know you both,’ I said, deliberately shaking Zach’s hand first.
Leo gave me a strange look. ‘You too,’ he said, waggling my hand like a leaf of limp lettuce. ‘Pass on our regards to Heidi. I hope her emergency… got resolved.’
I met his confused expression with a tight smile. Firm and professional – he deserved nothing more. ‘Sure thing.’
The rows of cars waiting to board ferries at Dover port brought the reality of home flooding back, not to mention the biting-cold wind and drizzle.
The taxi rank wasn’t too far away; I just needed to locate my luggage and I’d be on my way.
I headed for the conveyor belt where Arlo was dishing out suitcases and waited patiently in the queue.
I could see mine on the trolley behind him, but he was stressed enough with everyone shouting and pointing so I took a step back to let the paying customers get in there first. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder.
‘What was all that about?’ Leo whispered in my ear.
‘All what?’
‘You blanking me then walking off!’
‘How is me shaking hands and saying goodbye blanking you?’
I wanted to be anywhere but here right now, but there was no escape.
‘You know exactly what I’m talking about. Going cold and vacant as if I’m nothing to you. I deserve more than that.’
‘And I deserve more than to be lied to, waiting around for you in my room like a fool. Although I’ve got to admit I’m almost impressed – it was a clever way to get rid of me on the last night and have Brooke all to yourself.’
‘I text you last night and I’ve been trying to find you all morning to explain. Zach and I ended up playing cards all night and I couldn’t leave without raising suspicion. Especially as I didn’t stay in the room with Zach the night before. I didn’t think you’d want me to take any risks.’
He seemed so genuine and apologetic – what a performance. I couldn’t believe he could lie to my face so convincingly.
‘You were playing cards with Zach?’
‘Yeah. Not just Zach, there were a few of us. Thiago, Arlo, some other staff and a couple of the guests.’
‘OK, fair enough,’ I said. There was no point engaging, he was obviously a compulsive liar. I just wanted my bag and to get in a taxi so I could go home.
‘Why are you so angry? I don’t understand.’
‘This is who I am, Leo. Sorry if that doesn’t work for you. I’ve got a pitch to prep for. I haven’t got time to mess around with the opposition. Real people are relying on me – their jobs are at stake.’
‘Mess around with the opposition? Are you serious? Is that all I am?’ He looked genuinely crestfallen, but it was clearly just another level in his ‘act’, and I wasn’t one of those na?ve, gullible types. I wouldn’t stand for it.
‘We both know it’s all about winning the competition for you,’ I said, flatly, while trying to catch Arlo’s eye. ‘You’re addicted to that feeling of success and will do anything to get it.’
He stared at me, mouth agape. ‘Where are you getting all this rubbish from? I’m not a win-at-all-costs type at all. Just goes to show how well you know me.’
I had to stay strong, however convincing he might be.
‘Kat – is this one yours?’ Arlo held up my battered old suitcase and read off the Excalibur label. ‘Kath-er-ine Brenn-an?’
‘Yes!’ At last. I could have kissed him.
‘Back to business then, is it? Just like that. The party’s over?’ Leo followed me and picked up my case as I signed for it. ‘After all we’ve been through?’ He lowered his voice. ‘After the bottom bunk?’
‘Words no man should ever say to a woman,’ I said, as my mask nearly slipped into a smile, but then I remembered how he’d made himself at home in my hotel room and crammed himself into my bunk bed, manipulating me into developing feelings while he was star-fishing away in Brooke’s emperor-penguin bed.
Who knew how many cabins he’d ‘tested out’ in the name of research.
‘You’re so cold,’ he said, looking me straight in the eyes as I tried to wrestle my suitcase off him.
‘I can’t believe you’re doing this to me again, but then I’m the idiot to have let it happen.
’ His gaslighting made my blood boil, but I wasn’t going to get into an argument with him here.
There were too many people around and it could seriously harm our chances with Brooke if she knew I knew.
Or even worse, found out Leo had been staying with me too.
For the sake of my future and the people who worked with me, I needed to keep schtum and shut the conversation down.
I marched off towards the taxi rank and Leo chased after me with my suitcase.
‘Where to, love?’ the cabbie asked, jumping out to take my case.
‘The station please.’
‘Kat, let’s not end on a weird note like this. Talk to me – what’s going on? Zach and I are getting a car back to London, you can jump in with us.’
‘No thanks, I need some time on my own.’
‘Can I call you tomorrow?’ he pleaded, a look of abject confusion on his face. He was putting on a good show; I’d give him that.
‘I don’t know what more you want from me, Leo.
I’ve said goodbye; what else is there to say?
’ His face was a picture of hurt and confusion, but I wasn’t falling for it.
This was what narcissists did – I’d had fair warning from Bryce in episode forty-four: ‘Mirror, mirror’.
I wasn’t going to play his game by offering up an explanation; he knew what he’d done.
I’d keep my powder dry until the pitch was done and won.
I got in the taxi and sat back in relief.
‘Bye then, Kat. Good luck with the pitch, yeah?’
‘You too,’ I said, not meaning it even a little bit. ‘Goodbye.’
I closed my eyes as we drove off, glad to be on my way.
‘Been away on holiday, have you, love?’ the taxi driver asked.
‘A work trip.’ I really didn’t feel like talking, but I didn’t want to be rude.
‘Oh right. Nice work if you can get it,’ he said, chuckling to himself. ‘Do you work on the cruise boats then?’
‘We do their PR,’ I said, and burst into tears. How much longer would I be able to say that? My whole life was hanging in the balance, and the pressure was too much.