Chapter Thirty-one
Thirty-one
‘Quick, open it!’ Heidi hissed, grabbing my phone to see.
‘Let me connect my laptop and we can look at it on the big screen.’ I pressed a button, and the presenter went blank.
‘Hang on, I just need an adapter to…’ Leo had presented on a PC, and I was using a Mac.
I rummaged through the leads looking for the right one but couldn’t put my hands on it. ‘It’s in here somewhere.’
‘Hurry up!’ Heidi snapped. ‘Or give me the code for your phone?’
‘It’s eight-two-zero… here it is!’ I said, putting my hands on the adapter and plugging my laptop in.
The presentation flashed up on screen, and I quickly flicked through the slides.
Heidi and I in our power suits, the logos of our clients, our background story and the awards we’ve won along the way.
Blahdy, blah, blah… then into the creative.
Heidi gasped as I put up the first slide.
A boat full of twenty-somethings in bikinis and budgie smugglers, with cocktails and pints stood under the headline: ‘The new Booze Cruise.’ I flicked onto the next slide.
‘Cruising and Boozing for a new Generation’.
I felt the blood drain from my face. It looked like a drug-fuelled full moon party.
‘What the fuck did you brief them?’ Heidi asked, aghast.
‘Not this!’ I replied, increasingly bewildered as I flicked through the deck, desperate for anything that might save the situation. One visual that we could pin our pitch on and talk around. I got to the final slide, which was arguably the worst, as Brooke walked in.
‘Client alert,’ she tinkled, then stopped dead in the doorway. I stabbed at my computer to turn it off, but the screen had frozen on ‘Cruising for some boozing?’
‘Holy smokin’ hot bananas, what is that?’ she said, looking at the boat made of vodka bottles.
‘Wrong presentation,’ I said, frantically pressing escape. I was getting a migraine.
‘But that’s our logo?’ she frowned, fixated on the image.
‘Some confusion with one of our freelancers,’ Heidi said, standing on tiptoes in front of the screen to try and block it as I pulled out the power lead.
‘OK, dolls. Well, I’m countin’ on ya to put on a good performance here. My neck is on the line if you don’t shine. I want both pitches to be possible winners, ya hear me? I’ll leave you gals to it.’
She flounced out while I messaged Natalya.
Me: These designs are insane????
Natalya: James said you needed Gen Z Boozing?
Me: CRUISING.
Natalya: Ohhh. That makes more sense.
Me: Can you knock me something else together? I can’t share these. We’re on in 5 but won’t get to the creative for 20 mins. Cool couple on the Esmeralda. Use the shots we took or pull something from Instagram.
Natalya: *Thumbs up emoji*
Heidi was all tits and teeth, grinning like a mad thing. ‘I’ll do my slides, then leave the creative conversation to you.’
‘Great – thanks.’
‘Change the strategy slide to say we are focusing on new audiences.’
‘Mm-hmm.’ I clicked through to the strategy slide and quickly updated it.
My hands were shaking as adrenaline coursed through my veins.
We needed to be convincing with an entirely different approach.
New audiences… Which new audiences? Young people, groups of friends, men.
Anyone but old couples. I scanned our opening slides to check they still worked, and was deleting the creative at the back of the deck when everyone piled back in.
I switched to the start of the presentation, showing our agency logo with WELCOME in white letters on dark green.
Brooke clapped her hands together and made me jump. ‘OK, let’s crack on. Everyone got a coffee?’
‘Oooh…’ Heidi flashed me a look and I changed tack. ‘I’m cool with water.’
No coffee for us, then. Not that I needed the caffeine with all this panic pumping around my body.
‘Greg, Brooke, Mindy, Elizabeth, hello,’ Heidi said, with a maniacal grin on her face.
‘It’s a pleasure to be here today, talking about the account we love so much – and have loved for such a long time.
To present our thoughts for its next phase of evolution.
I’m sure you’ll agree that no one knows the marketing side of your business as well as we do. ’
Sycophantic with a sinister undertone. Weird choice. I flicked to the next slide, where the two of us were beaming out from the screen.
‘We need no introduction – we’ve known you all forever. I’m Heidi Caddel, the owner of Northstar PR. Thirty years in business and have worked with the likes of P that’s just the way we are with our clients: proactive, curious, one step ahead.
But the pitch has given us all extra permission to go big on the creative.
’ I fiddled around with the laptop to add the new slide into the deck, then blew it back up to full screen.
Mindy drew a sharp breath and Greg tutted, as I looked behind me.
‘Oh, er… hang on… sorry, that’s the wrong slide.’
‘Cruising for some boozing?’ Greg uttered in disbelief. ‘I have never in my life… seen anything like it.’
‘Is this what you think is next for us?’ Elizabeth added, her smile faltering.
‘No, not at all,’ I clicked onto the next slide. ‘I must have accidentally left one of the old ideas in…’
‘Modern technology is always a nightmare in these situations,’ Leo said, taking the attention off me, as all four clients turned in his direction.
‘It wasn’t so long ago everything was on paper or projector slides, so the presenter was always in control.
The laptops are always trying to catch us out. ’
‘So true,’ Brooke agreed, softening. ‘I was mid-presentation last week when an email flashed up reminding me of a waxing appointment.’ Everyone laughed while I put the correct slide in place.
‘Here it is,’ I said, giving Leo a grateful smile. ‘We believe Excalibur need A NEW GENERATION OF CRUISERS and we want to re-launch you to Gen Z as the ultimate way to travel.’
Brooke nodded encouragingly.
‘The TikTok crowd always seem to be on a countdown to death – do you know what I mean? You only get eighteen summers with your kids, you only get fifty summers yourself, you’ll be dead before you know it – that kind of thing.’
Zach sat completely still, like a bird of prey waiting to pounce.
‘We wanted to lean into that mentality.’ I was impressing myself with my own bullshit.
‘Cruising gives the young people exactly what they want. It’s the only mode of travel that allows them to easily work through their bucket list. You don’t have to wait a year between holidays; you can tick off several places at once and TikTok all about it. ’
Greg steepled his fingers with a smile.
I flicked the new slide onto the screen. ‘This is just one way we could juxtapose young people partying with a sophisticated couple enjoying cocktails against the ocean backdrop. Excalibur is the only destination they’ll ever need. Their portal to the rest of the world.’
‘With a nod to the old A to Z maps,’ Heidi added, spit balling. ‘Travelling across the world from A to Gen Z.’
‘Interesting,’ Brooke said, thoughtfully. ‘So, is the idea about a new generation or multi-destinations? Or the ship as a gateway?’
‘It encompasses all of those thoughts,’ I said, floundering.
‘I’m confused,’ Mindy said.
‘It’s very simple.’ Heidi smiled. ‘Gen Zs mapping their way across the world on a cruise ship via multiple destinations. AKA the cruise is their gateway.’
I caught Zach rolling his eyes at Leo and inwardly seethed.
‘I like it,’ Elizabeth said, and my shoulders dropped in relief. ‘But it’s a sector ad; it isn’t Excalibur-specific.’
She had a point. I tried out one of my NLP techniques and nodded to agree with her.
‘You’re right. And that’s because as the market leader, you do a lot of heavy lifting for the sector.
We’ve been working hard to shift perceptions on cruising for years and in owning that leadership position, you’ve become the go-to brand for cruising.
When people book a cruise, they consider you first. The original, premium, classic. ’
It was a word salad, but I delivered it confidently enough to get them all thinking.
Heidi joined in. ‘And we can layer on the specific activities that only Excalibur offer… and drill down into the individual boats. This could be the Esmeralda execution, for example.’
‘I see,’ Brooke said, scrutinising the shot. ‘And you only have one execution to share with us today?’
‘Yes, we felt this was the most powerful representation of the thought. The young couple sharing an intimate moment in the shadows, the party going on in the background, the boat on the move to its next destination.’
‘Is that you in the photo?’ Mindy asked.
I whipped round to look at it. ‘Erm… No… I don’t think so?’
‘Good spot, Mindy!’ Greg said, putting his glasses on to take a closer look. ‘With Leo, if I’m not mistaken?’
‘Hardly Gen Z then, no offence,’ Elizabeth piped up. ‘Clearly you’re enjoying yourselves though. Remember when we were like that, Greggy?’
The photo had the couple in shadow, but it was definitely me and Leo.
How had I not instantly realised? My cheeks flushed as I lost my train of thought.
Someone must have captured that moment after the Salsa class when we very nearly lost control of ourselves and kissed on the boat.
How had this photo ended up in the presentation?
‘So it is,’ Leo said, chuckling awkwardly, his eyes burning into me as he slowly raised his eyebrows.
‘It’s… er… just a positional,’ I said, desperate to flick on to the next slide, but knowing there wasn’t one. ‘We’d use much younger models to get the vibe right.’
‘There’s definitely a strong vibe coming through,’ Brooke murmured, and Mindy and Elizabeth giggled.
‘The point is that a focus on the younger audience is essential,’ Heidi said, trying to get the conversation back on track. ‘They need to be front and centre.’
‘Even though you haven’t shown a younger audience in your one piece of creative?’ Greg batted back, sharply. ‘Is that the end of the presentation?’
‘We’d like to invite any questions,’ I said, feeling weak. I switched my laptop off and the buzz of technology stopped, leaving us all in silence.
‘No questions from me. Anyone else?’ Greg asked, standing up and making it clear the meeting was over.
Brooke, Elizabeth and Mindy shook their heads.
‘Excellent, well then, thank you all for coming in and you’ll hear from us very soon.
’ He shook our hands, one after the other.
‘Ladies, gents. Brooke will see you out.’
And that was that.