106 - Cage
Sadia eventually left in the late afternoon. The visit should have made Mariana feel better. In some ways, it did.
She had laughed. Complained. Listened to Sadia ramble about Leonhard for an unreasonable amount of time. For a few precious hours, things had felt almost normal.
But when the carriage carrying Sadia disappeared beyond the palace gates, the questions returned. And this time, they were louder.
The library felt quieter than usual. Mariana sat by one of the tall windows, a book open across her lap.
She hadn't turned the page in nearly twenty minutes.
Her gaze remained fixed on nothing. The world is collapsing.
The sentence echoed again. Not metaphorically. Not politically. Actually collapsing.
Villages were disappearing. People were dying. Even the Archmages had been attacked. Astrid herself seemed afraid. And somehow, the more Mariana thought about it, the more she found herself circling back to one person.
Zai...
Her fingers tightened slightly around the edge of the book.
His change doesn't make any sense...
The Zafiel from the novel and the Zafiel standing before her now felt like two entirely different people.
The original Zafiel had been terrifying. Cold. Ruthless. Brilliant. The type of character who loved strategically. The type who viewed emotions as weaknesses.
But this Zafiel...
Mariana lowered her gaze.
This Zafiel cooked breakfast every morning. He remembered what tea she liked. He adjusted blankets when she fell asleep reading. He knew exactly when she skipped meals. He had practically turned half the palace staff into a support team dedicated exclusively to her comfort.
And somehow, the realization made her pause.
He has never hurt me... not once.
Not physically. Not emotionally either, if she was being honest. Overwhelming? Absolutely. Possessive? Definitely. Concerning? Without question. But harmful? No. In fact, the opposite was true. The man seemed determined to make her life as easy as possible.
Mariana groaned and dropped her forehead onto the table. "This is complicated..."
Because trust was beginning to grow. Small. Unwanted. Annoyingly persistent. Like a flower pushing through stone. And she hated that.
Because if Zafiel truly had something to do with her being brought into this world... then trusting him could be dangerous.
Yet her heart kept stubbornly reminding her of every gentle thing he had done. Every meal. Every blanket. Every awkward attempt to make her smile. Every time he looked relieved simply because she existed nearby.
"... stupid."
She wasn't sure whether she was talking about him or herself. Then another thought struck her. Mariana froze.
Wait... what am I doing???
Slowly, she sat upright. Her eyes widened. The realization hit harder than expected.
I've gotten comfortable... far too comfortable...!
Her gaze drifted around the library. The books. The tea. The safety. The luxury. The endless freedom within the palace itself. Everything she needed was here. Food appeared whenever she wanted it.
She could read all day. Sleep whenever she liked. Walk wherever she wished inside the palace grounds. And somehow... she had started accepting it.
A gilded cage is still a cage.
Mariana pressed a hand against her forehead. "No." Her voice came out firmer. "No, no, no."
This isn't right... I can't stay like this forever...
She was an Archmage. One of the strongest magic users in the world. People were dying outside. The world was unraveling. And she was sitting here drinking tea and reading novels.
Then came another title-Saintess. The word carried weight. Responsibility. Duty. The people needed hope. Needed protection. Needed someone to reassure them.
Meanwhile, she was hidden away behind palace walls.
And then there was her family. A sudden ache settled in her chest. Forebros. Grand Duke Maximus. Everyone back home. Were they safe? Were they injured? Did they know she was alright?
Mariana clenched her fists. "I need to leave."
The words escaped quietly. Not because she hated being here. That was the problem. A dangerous part of her liked being here.
I think I... like the safety... the care... attention... and him-
She immediately shut down that train of thought.
Absolutely not...! No... not going there. Not today... or ever.
The library doors suddenly opened. Mariana looked up automatically and froze.
Zafiel stepped inside, his dark coat hung loosely over his shoulders. His cravat was half-undone. His hair looked slightly disheveled. There were faint shadows beneath his eyes. He looked exhausted-no, beyond exhausted. He looked like someone carrying the weight of an empire.
For a brief moment, his gaze swept across the room. Then he saw her. Everything changed. It was almost alarming.
The fatigue vanished. The tension disappeared. His entire face lit up, actually lit up like sunlight breaking through storm clouds.
"Iana." The affection in his voice was immediate. Warm. Deep. Unrestrained. Mariana's heart betrayed her.
For one horrifying second-one absolutely horrifying second-she wanted to run toward him. The realization nearly killed her. Her body even shifted slightly before she caught herself.
No! No, absolutely not! Control yourself!!
Mariana remained rooted to the floor.
Zafiel paused, then smiled softly. "Iana."
He said her name again. And somehow that was worse. Because nobody should be allowed to sound that happy simply from seeing another person.
Mariana looked away. "... welcome back, Zai."
The words came out reluctantly, almost grumpy.
Zafiel chuckled. The sound was low and warm, clearly amused. Which only made her more embarrassed. Without another word, he crossed the room and sat on the edge of the nearby bed. Then he released a long breath.
For several seconds, neither spoke. Mariana watched him carefully. His shoulders looked heavy, his eyes tired. Something had happened today. Something bad... again.
Eventually, Zafiel lifted his gaze toward her. "You can ask."
Mariana blinked. "What...?"
"Anything."
His voice was calm. "Anything you want to know."
Immediately suspicious, Mariana narrowed her eyes. "Anything??"
"Within reason."
"... there it is."
A faint smile tugged at his lips.
Mariana hesitated.
She had dozens of questions. Hundreds, probably. Questions about the world. Questions about Astrid. Questions about the attacks. Questions about herself.
But one question rose above all the others. The one that had been bothering her for days.
Her gaze sharpened slightly. "Why do you know so much about me...?"
Silence. The room suddenly felt very still.
Zafiel's expression didn't change. Yet Mariana noticed it. For the briefest fraction of a second-a glint. Something flickered behind his amethyst eyes, gone almost immediately. But she saw it.
Then he smiled. "I memorized everything."
Mariana blinked. "... what?"
"I memorized everything." His answer remained absurdly straightforward.
"I know your favorite foods." A pause. "The books you prefer.
" Another pause. "The songs you hum without realizing.
" Mariana froze. "You do that... thing when you're concentrating.
" His eyes softened. "You bite the inside of your cheek.
" Her face began heating up. "You tap your foot when impatient. "
"Stop-"
"You pretend not to care when you're worried."
"Stop talking."
"You always-"
"ZAI."
He fell silent, mostly because he looked amused. Mariana wanted to bury herself alive.
How does he know all that?! More importantly... why does hearing it make my heart beat faster?!
That was the truly alarming part. Because his answer should have frightened her. It was frightening. A normal person would absolutely find that frightening. Mariana did find it frightening. She was certain she did... probably. Maybe?
Her cheeks burned. She immediately looked away.
Dangerous... this man is dangerous...
Memorizing everything about someone wasn't normal. It was obsessive. Ridiculous. Unhealthy. And yet, a traitorous part of her whispered that it was also strangely touching. Mariana mentally smacked that part of herself with a chair.
No...!! Absolutely not!
She refused.
Across from her, Zafiel watched the ongoing battle on her face. The denial. The embarrassment. The confusion.
And despite the chaos threatening the world outside these walls. Despite the Harbinger. Despite the collapsing borders. Despite the bloodshed. For a single moment, he felt something close to peace.
Because she was here. Alive. Safe. Still looking at him. Still talking to him. Still letting him exist beside her. And for now, that was enough.
Even if he knew it wouldn't remain enough forever.