Chapter 49 The Villainess and the Male Lead
Esmeralda and Rael sat across from each other.
Too close to be comfortable.
Too far to pretend nothing had changed.
The small table between them felt like the only thing keeping the air from collapsing entirely.
Neither of them spoke.
Not at first.
The silence stretched—thin, fragile—like it would shatter if either of them breathed too loudly.
Esmeralda kept her gaze lowered, fingers lightly resting on her lap, though she could feel it—
Rael's gaze unable to move anywhere else but on her.
"Esme-"
"Let me talk first, Your Highness." She cut him off.
Rael paused.
He simply nodded and listened.
Esmeralda clenched her hands together.
"I..." she began, her voice softer now, stripped of its usual sharpness. "I'm not entirely sure if I am doing the right thing here. But I can't keep avoiding it."
The words hung between them.
"Honestly, I thought I was entirely over my unrequited feelings," she admitted, forcing out a quiet breath. "I convinced myself that I had moved on. That I wouldn't make the same mistake twice."
Her gaze dropped.
"But every time I feel like I had gotten over it," she looked away, "you tug at this fragile heart of mine like a string unable to untangle its bond at your fingertips."
Rael stilled. He was unsure what to say.
Esmeralda exhaled slowly.
"I don't trust myself enough because," she said. "Every time you speak... every time you look at me like that..."
Her fingers tightened.
"It feels like I'm being pulled back into something I barely escaped from."
Her voice softened.
"I'm scared that I'll fall the same way I did before."
Silence.
"So... if you can..." she hesitated, then forced the words out—
"...give me more time."
The room held its breath.
Then—
Esmeralda blinked.
Rael's mouth opened just enough to know he was shocked from what Esmeralda had said. He had called for her a few times, with no expectation of what Esmeralda had just revealed to him. He was just sincerely happy she allowed him her presence.
"Are you not going to say anything?" Esmeralda questioned, her chest tightened.
Rael's ears flushed just barely then-
he slapped himself.
?!?
"Why did you-!"
"Sorry for startling you, Esme. It's just... I cannot believe my ears right now. Am I dreaming? Because... at this moment, I feel like the universe had just disappeared and you're all that's around." He was looking at her now—directly, unwavering.
Esmeralda stared at him.
"You slapped yourself because you think you're asleep!? Are you crazy, your Highness!?"
Her voice trembled.
Rael let out a soft breath, the faintest smile ghosting his lips, though the flush at the tips of his ears remained.
"I just might be." he admitted quietly. "I've never been unreasonable with my actions but with you.. I'm crazy for you, Esme."
"-!" Esmeralda's face flushed, her heart stuttered.
Rael laughed just a bit.
Esmeralda cleared her throat, her gaze wavering before she forced herself to talk.
"I meant what I said," she murmured. "I need time. I don't want to fall the same way I did before. I don't want to lose myself again just because—"
"Then don't."
She blinked.
"...What?"
Rael leaned forward slightly, closing the distance just enough to make her breath catch.
"Don't fall, " he repeated, softer now. "Let me be the one climbing to where you are. Let me be the one chasing you this time."
Her fingers tightened on her lap, her eyes completely on him.
There was no distance in his gaze.
No indifference.
No hesitation.
Only certainty.
"I don't expect you to trust me immediately," he continued. "I don't expect you to forget everything you felt before."
A pause.
"But I want you to know, I am willing to do anything and everything for you."
"...You say that so easily."
"I don't," he replied quietly. "I've thought about it more than you think."
Silence settled between them for a while.
"I don't expect you to come to me," he continued, his voice softer now.
His gaze never left her.
"So I'll come to you."
Her fingers curled slightly against her skirt.
"I'll meet you where you're comfortable," he said. "I'll stop where you ask me to stop."
A pause.
"But I won't leave."
Her heart skipped.
"Even if you change your mind later on, I'll still be here."
"...Why would you go to such lengths.. for me?" Esmeralda asked, her voice shaking.
"Esme..."
Rael's voice was quieter this time.
Not the teasing kind.
Not the composed, princely tone he always carried so effortlessly.
This one was stripped bare and Esmeralda felt it immediately.
Her fingers curled slightly on her lap as she slowly lifted her gaze to meet his.
"...When our engagement was arranged," he began, exhaling softly, "I thought of it as nothing more than a transaction."
His eyes did not leave her.
"A means for the Empire to prosper. A decision made for the people."
Esmeralda's chest tightened.
The words weren't new.
But hearing them like this from him hurt more than she expected.
Rael noticed.
Of course he did.
A faint flicker crossed his expression, something almost apologetic, but he didn't stop.
"The expectations of the Empire..." he continued, his voice lowering, "they mattered more than anything else. More than my own thoughts."
A pause.
"...More than my feelings."
Esmeralda's lips pressed together.
Her gaze wavered—but she didn't look away.
"Not that I thought I had any to spare," he added quietly, almost self-mocking.
A hollow breath left him.
"So when you asked to break it off the first time..."
His brows knit slightly.
"I was taken aback."
A quiet breath left him.
"...No—"
He corrected himself.
"I was thrown off."
His gaze dropped for a moment, as if recalling it too clearly.
"I didn't know what to do with something I couldn't control."
The honesty of it made her breath catch.
"So I doubted you."
Each word came slower now.
"Your actions. Your words. The way you looked at me..."
His gaze softened, just slightly.
"They were all different. Or at least... I thought they were."
Esmeralda's fingers tightened against her skirt.
"But I was wrong."
He said it simply with no hesitation.
Her heart skipped.
"The more I watched you," he continued, his voice gentler now, "the more I realized..."
A small pause.
"...you had always been like that."
Her breath stilled.
"I just wasn't paying attention."
Silence filled the space between them.
Esmeralda felt something twist painfully in her chest.
Not anger.
Not quite sadness.
Just something deep. Something that lingered.
"And by the time I understood..." Rael went on, quieter now, "by the time I saw you for who you truly were—"
His gaze faltered just for a second.
"It was already too late."
Her heart dropped.
"You had already decided to move on."
His voice was softer now.
But it didn't waver.
"You had already let go of the feelings you once had for me."
Her fingers trembled slightly on her lap.
She looked away.
Unable to meet his eyes for a moment.
"And just like a child who had his candy taken..."
A quiet, self-aware breath left him.
"...I found myself chasing the one thing I had carelessly let slip through my fingers."
Esmeralda let out a small, shaky breath.
Her lips parted—
but no words came out.
"But it's alright."
She looked back at him.
Rael's expression softened.
"You deserve better."
Her chest tightened sharply.
"I know that," he continued gently. "I've known that for a while now."
A pause.
Then—
"...But I want to be the better you deserve." Rael said letting out a short laugh like he as mocking himself, "Selfish, right?"
Her breath hitched.
The air shifted.
"...So no matter how long it takes," he said quietly, his voice unwavering now, "I'll wait."
Esmeralda's fingers trembled slightly in her lap.
Her heart refused to stay still.
"Even if..." he continued, slower this time, as if each word mattered, "even if in the end..."
A pause.
"...you don't choose me. I will still choose to feel this way for you," he added softly. "Even if I'm the only one doing so."
Esmeralda's vision blurred for a brief second.
Her breath faltered.
"...Your Highness..."
A faint smile touched his lips.
"Because..." he exhaled quietly, a hint of amusement lacing through the vulnerability, "I'm insufferable like that."
"So—"
Rael stood from his seat and lowered himself onto one knee before Esmeralda. He gently took her hand in his.
"...Will you allow me to wait for you, Esme?"
Esmeralda's fingers trembled slightly in his grasp.
Her heart pounded so loudly she was certain he could hear it.
--
Meanwhile, At the Palace
"Where is His Highness?" Amaria asked the maid who was brushing her hair?
"He had gone to the Schuan household, my lady."
For a brief moment Amaria stilled.
Her fingers curled into a tight fist, nails digging sharply into her palm. The sting grounded her—just enough.
Before the skin could break, she slowly loosened her grip.
A smile tugged at her lips.
"You seem happy, my lady." the maid commented, catching her reflection in the mirror. "Did you think of something good?"
Amaria smiled innocently.
"I did," she said gently.
"...Something really good."