Chapter 15
I pulled up at Essence’s house in my father’s brand-new Lexus LS 500, the engine purring like a cat that had just found the perfect spot on a sunny windowsill. The deep blue paint gleamed under the streetlights, starkly contrasting the snow gently falling, dusting everything in a blanket of white. I took a deep breath, gripping the steering wheel too tightly. I needed this night to go just right. I couldn’t afford to mess this up.
I caught my reflection in the rearview mirror, noticing the nerves written all over my face. That wasn’t the look I was going for. It felt like the first time I’d taken her out all over again. I smoothed down the lapel of my coat, trying to get a grip. After all, how hard could it be to pick up a woman for dinner? But this wasn’t just any woman. This was Essence, the mother of my son. After that heart-to-heart with Kelly, I knew I had to switch up my game—stop pushing hard and let things flow naturally. Tonight was about showing Essence that I was here for her and my son, plain and simple.
As I approached her door, the biting cold cut through me. Before I even had a chance to knock, the door opened, and there she was, looking like a vision in that deep green sweater dress that hugged her curves just right. Her eyes lit up like the Christmas lights in Rockefeller Center.
“Hey,” I said, my voice rougher than I’d planned.
“Mark,” she greeted, her voice smooth and sweet, like honey dripping off a spoon. There was a hint of surprise in her tone, maybe even a touch of nerves, which made me smile.
“You look amazing.” For a second, I forgot about the cold, my nerves, everything. It was just her.
“Thank you,” she replied, her eyes locking onto mine. There was a softness there, an openness that hadn’t been there before, and it gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I was finally getting through to her.
“As much as your beauty warms my soul, it’s kind of nippy out here,” I teased, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, blushing as she stepped aside to let me in. As I closed the door behind me, I couldn’t shake the feeling that tonight was the beginning of something new, something I’d been waiting for without even realizing it.
“You look fabulous,” I said, my dimples deepening as I spoke. “That color on you takes my breath away.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” she flirted back, innocently batting her eyes at me.
That was my cue to get this evening started. “You ready?”
“I’m ready,” she nodded, then entered the closet for a long wool coat I helped her into. She locked up, and I took her hand and led her down the steps to the car.
“It belongs to Pop,” I commented when I noticed she was looking for my Denali.
Essence smiled, that smile that always messed with my head. “Very nice.”
I nodded in agreement. “Pop bought it a few weeks ago and barely added thirty miles. I thought I’d test it out tonight.”
I opened the car door for her, trying to keep it cool, but the moment she slid into the passenger seat, I knew it would be a struggle to focus on the road.
As we drove through the quiet, snow-covered streets, the atmosphere in the car was thick with a mix of anticipation and nerves. I could feel her glancing over at me, and when I finally looked at her, I saw the same thing in her eyes—nervousness. We were both on edge, and I knew I had to break the tension before it swallowed us whole.
“Essence,” I started, my voice softer now, “Are you as nervous as I am?”
She let out a small laugh, looking relieved. “You have no idea. I thought it was just me.”
We both laughed then, a sound that seemed to lift the weight from the air. “Well, at least we’re in this together,” I said, smiling over at her as we pulled up to the bistro.
The valet took the car, and I helped her out, our hands lingering just a little longer than necessary. I definitely wasn’t complaining. The cold winter air nipped at us as we walked into the bistro. Snowflakes clung stubbornly to my coat but melted softly as the restaurant's warmth quickly wrapped around us, making us both relax a little more.
The whole spot was dressed up for the holidays—twinkling lights draped over the windows, a massive wreath hanging proudly near the entrance, and the smooth sounds of classic holiday tunes playing softly in the background. I couldn’t help but feel like it was the perfect cozy, intimate vibe for the evening, with the holiday spirit in the air.
We were seated near a window that offered a view of the snow-covered street, the lights from the buildings reflecting off the glass. I slid into the seat across from her and watched Essence take in the scene, a soft smile playing on her lips. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
I noticed her hands fidgeting with the edge of the menu. I reached across the table, placing my hand over hers. “Hey, it’s just me,” I said, trying to soothe our nerves.
She looked up at me, her eyes softening. “I know. It’s just… I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”
“Maybe because this feels different,” I admitted, squeezing her hand gently. “In a good way.”
Essence nodded, her smile growing. “Yes, in a good way.”
We ordered our meals, and the nervousness slowly faded as the evening continued.
Conversation flowed between us like we’d been doing this forever. We could have been the only two people in the room. She had my undivided attention. The food was delicious. We both had a house salad with homemade Italian dressing and fresh-baked bread. Essence chose the seafood pasta with a white sauce, while I chose the house special—spaghetti. We laughed and talked about everything—how Tyler couldn’t stop talking about Santa, how she’d decorated the house with more lights than Times Square last year, and the craziness of holiday shopping. It felt easy and comfortable, like slipping into my favorite hoodie on a cold day.
When she laughed, this melodic sound warmed me from the inside out. I found myself leaning in closer, hanging on to every word, every smile. This was different from before. Better.
“I can’t believe we were both so nervous,” Essence said, smiling as she sipped her wine.
“I think it’s because we both know how important this is,” I replied, eyes locking onto hers. “This isn’t just another dinner. It’s us starting over, taking things slowly, and doing it right now.”
She nodded, her expression serious now. “You’re right. I don’t want to rush anything.”
“Neither do I,” I said, meaning every word. “I’ve realized that if we make this thing between us work, I gotta let things happen naturally. No more trying to control everything by demanding you marry me. Just… letting us be.”
Essence smiled at that, her hand finding mine again. “That sounds perfect.”
The warmth from the nearby fireplace was pleasant, but it didn’t compare to the heat sparking between us. I took a moment to drink her in—how her curls framed that gorgeous face, how the lights danced in her eyes, making them shine even brighter.
As the night continued, the cold temperatures frosted the windowpanes, but inside, the warmth between us only grew. I told her about my last deployment—the long nights, the close calls, the buddy I lost in a car accident. Stuff I didn’t talk about with just anyone. She listened, her hand reaching across the table to rest on mine. That simple touch grounded me in a way I hadn’t expected, reminding me I didn’t have to carry all that weight alone.
The bistro was the kind of place that made you want to linger just a little longer. By the time the check came, I knew this night was what we both needed—time together, without any pressure, just enjoying each other’s company and letting the relationship develop at its own pace. I wasn’t ready to call it a night.
“Feel like taking a walk?” I asked, nodding toward the window where snow was gently falling, blanketing the city again.
She smiled, that beautiful, warm smile that had been messing with my head all night. “I’d love to.”
We bundled up and stepped outside into the crisp night air. The city was alive with Christmas spirit—lights strung across buildings, storefronts decked out in holiday cheer, and the distant sound of carolers filling the streets. We walked side by side, our steps in sync as we took in the sights and sounds around us.
At some point, I slipped my hand into hers, and when she intertwined her fingers with mine, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. We talked about everything and nothing. For once, I wasn’t trying to steer the conversation or plan ten steps ahead. I was enjoying being in the moment with her. And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t thinking about what might happen tomorrow or the next day. I was just here, in this moment, with Essence, and it felt like the start of something real.
We stopped in front of a beautifully lit tree in the park, the colors reflecting in her eyes as she looked up in wonder.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered.
“Not as beautiful as you,” I replied, unable to keep the cheesy line from slipping out. But she laughed, and the sound was worth any embarrassment I might have felt.
She turned to face me, her cheeks flushed from the cold and maybe something more. “Thank you for tonight, Mark. I had a really great time.”
“So did I,” I said softly, pulling her closer. The space between us seemed to disappear as I looked into her eyes, searching for any sign I should pull back. But all I saw was warmth and something that looked much like what I felt.
Without overthinking it, I leaned in, kissing her forehead softly. It was simple, sweet, and somehow more intimate than anything else. She closed her eyes, leaning into the touch, and in that moment, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
As we continued our walk back, hand in hand, I realized that letting go of control didn’t mean losing anything. If anything, I was gaining so much more—trust, connection, and the possibility of something real and lasting.
* * *
It was late when we finally left the bistro, the night air crisp and laced with the unmistakable scent of winter. I settled into the plush leather seat of the luxury car with a sigh of satisfaction, letting my thoughts drift as Mark set the vehicle in motion. Outside, the city was a blur of twinkling Christmas lights and holiday decorations, each corner glowing with festive cheer. But inside the car, it was just the two of us, surrounded by warmth and the quiet intimacy of the moment.
As we drove, I relaxed against the seat, watching the city slip by while Mark turned onto the highway, heading toward Wilmington. The car was filled with the soothing strains of Stevie Wonder’s Someday at Christmas . The smooth R she was nervous but unable to resist when I touched her face or held her hand.She should be grateful I showed that much restraint because I was ready to do more than just kissing.
But I wasn’t going there until she was ready. I told her I needed her to make the next move.I wasn’t about to play games or settle for half-stepping. I wanted all of her, but it had to be her decision.
And tonight?Something in her eyes was like she was on the verge of making that call.The way she kissed me lit a fuse that had been burning all night. I’d been hard as a rock during dinner, and it didn’t let up when I drove her home. But when the moment came, something in her still held back, and I couldn’t keep doing this dance without knowing where we stood.
“So, when do I get to meet this woman who’s got you twisted?” Diamere’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“She’s coming to my parents’ for Christmas,” I said, shrugging like it wasn’t that big a deal.
“Good. I’ll be there too,” Diamere grinned. “Haven’t seen your fine little sister in a while.”
I shot him a look. “Don’t even think about it. Kelly’s not trying to be another notch on your belt.”
It wasn’t a secret that Diamere thought Kelly was beautiful, but I didn’t have to worry about him.Kelly wasn’t falling for that player nonsense.
Diamere took another swig of his beer, still grinning. “I still can’t believe you’re somebody’s daddy now. You? Mr. Independent?”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Yeah, man, it’s wild. But Tyler? He changed everything.”
Diamere leaned back, shaking his head in disbelief. “Well, looks like you’re not the only one. Ryan’s threatening to hit me with child support. Might have to put a ring on it.”
I nearly choked on my beer. “ You? Marrying somebody? Come on, man, you don’t even like staying in one place.”
He shrugged like it was no big deal.“Hey, you know what they say—it’s cheaper to keep ‘em.”
I gave him a look. “Yeah, that’s one way to look at it.”
A woman walked by, smelling like she dipped herself in an entire perfume bottle. Diamere’s eyes followed her, already planning his next move.Some things never changed.
I laughed, shaking my head. “You sure you’re ready to give all this up for a ring?”
“Nope,” he said with a smirk, “but I will. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about me. Let’s get back to you. What’s your move?”
I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “Man, I don’t even know. I’ve never had to put in this much work for a woman before. It’s frustrating, but she’s got me hooked.”
“So, is she worth all this?”
I thought about Essence—her smile, the way her eyes lit up when she kissed me, and how she made me feel like I was wrapped up in something bigger than I could control. “Yeah, she’s worth it,” I admitted, more to myself than to Diamere.
He took a slow sip from his beer, eyeing me over the bottle's rim. “Then why are you out here playing games? If she’s really worth it, tell her how you feel. Let her know it ain’t just about doing the right thing for Tyler anymore.”
I stayed quiet for a second, letting his words sink in. Any fool sitting in this joint could see I was stuck on something, and Diamere wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t even looked twice at any of the women around us, and there were some beauties in here tonight, but none of them came close to Essence.
“Man, quit lying to yourself,” Diamere said, setting his beer down with a thud. “If you want her, be about your business and stop acting like you don’t already know what you’ve gotta do.”
He was right, and I knew it. I had been too caught up in my head, letting my pride get in the way. I was so busy trying to keep things in check that I was at risk of losing her.