Chapter 9
I got to Asher’s apartment building much faster than the first time I’d driven there and back. Then again, I was driving in the middle of the night versus rush hour traffic. But that wasn’t the biggest difference in my drives to or from downtown Dallas in the past twenty-four hours. It was that I felt like I couldn’t get there fast enough when just hours before, I hadn’t been able to get away quick enough to hide how oddly devastated I’d been over losing that job.
Sure, it wasn’t what I wanted to do forever, and it’d only been a day, but I’d loved it.
I’d loved learning everything I could about Kaia’s age and what she should be doing at this point in her young life. I’d loved the time of trying to get her to crawl toward me and reading to her. I’d loved just holding her and trying to soothe her, even though her cries had worn on my heart and nerves. And, if I was being honest with myself, I’d loved knowing that I’d found him .
But with a few cruelly delivered words and cold looks, it had been taken away from me as quickly as it had been offered to me.
I’d made it to Jackson’s apartment before falling into his arms and crying over losing a potentially amazing opportunity—then again, I might’ve just been exhausted from the day with Kaia. And after holding me for long minutes, Jackson had uttered the most unexpected words.
“You’ll find something else.”
Not a word about the farm. No more jabs about how teaching and being a nanny wasn’t me . He’d offered comfort and understanding the way he always had, but in a time I’d least expected him to.
And now I was back.
Once the smirking doorman got me onto the elevator, and I was heading up to the top of the luxurious skyscraper, I wondered if all Jackson’s comfort and understanding would still be waiting for me the next time I talked to him.
But all thoughts of my boyfriend fled the second I stepped off the elevator and was met with a stone-faced Asher Briggs and a pitifully crying Kaia.
“Why?” was all he said as he stared at me— glared . He was glaring.
It was unnerving.
“Why did I think you fired me?” I asked as I reached for Kaia when he held her out to me. “I already?—”
“No,” he ground out.
I see we’re back to cutting me off.
“Why is she doing this?”
“Babies cry,” I said, repeating my words from our call not long before.
“I’m aware,” he said through clenched teeth. “You got her to stop.”
My eyes rolled when he turned and stalked through his apartment, leaving me to follow. But my steps faltered and a hollow of guilt settled in my stomach when I saw the large, open space.
It was immaculate.
There wasn’t a trace of the things I’d purchased and hadn’t had time to finish putting away. Then again, there wasn’t even a hint that a baby lived there at all. Nothing but hard, cold lines and the two-story view of the city that was even more incredible at night.
But before I could apologize again for not having things tidied before he got home, I watched as Asher continued through the apartment until he was stalking up the nearly hidden set of stairs Aunt Ada had briefly pointed out earlier.
On one side of the apartment, above Asher’s office, was a large at-home gym that she’d waved off with a roll of her eyes. But above the hallway that held the downstairs bedrooms and bathroom was Asher’s glass-enclosed bedroom that I’d been warned from entering.
I hadn’t planned on going near there in the first place, but after the office incident this morning? I had no intention of even setting foot on the stairs.
“Okay then,” I whispered as I dropped my bag onto one of the barstools before turning for the hallway, rubbing soothing circles into Kaia’s back as I went.
Once we were standing in the dark of her room, I swayed lightly with her in my arms and murmured gentle understandings and assurances as I studied her exhausted face. Letting her see me and giving her that comfort of peace in this otherwise confusing and heartbreaking time for her.
Soon after, she was struggling to keep her eyes open, her cries nothing more than hushed whimpers. Within just a handful of minutes, she was asleep. But I didn’t move toward her crib just yet. I just studied her precious, relaxed face and wondered what exactly she thought of all this change—what all she understood at even such a young age.
“Tell me how.”
A sharp gasp ripped from me as I whirled around to find Asher leaning against the doorway, arms folded across his chest, intently studying me as if I infuriated him.
“I thought you went to your room,” I said, the accusation snapping from me before I could control my tone.
“To change,” he said as if that should’ve been obvious, his voice barely a whisper and a clear warning for me to keep mine soft.
I drew in a deep, shaky breath as I waited for my heart to fall back into a steady rhythm, but when it continued beating all out of sorts, I nodded to where his niece was undisturbed in my arms and said, “You need to make noise when she’s asleep. Otherwise, she’ll never be able to sleep through anything.”
“She hasn’t been sleeping as it is,” he reminded me, his voice still soft.
“Because she’s overly exhausted and doesn’t know how to let herself just sleep with all these changes. She’s confused. Her parents aren’t here, and she’s been thrust into a new place with people she doesn’t know—people who were incredibly overwhelming in the way they were crowding her. And then there’s?—”
I pressed my lips together before the rest of what I’d been about to say could come pouring out, mentally kicking myself for the rant I’d started unleashing on him due to my own emotional and physical exhaustion.
Asher slanted his head, the action subtle but somehow so imposing, and had my pulse kicking into overdrive.
Odd how he was so similar and different to the man I’d met last summer.
Then again, the man I’d met last summer had been putting on an act for everyone to see up until the last few moments he was in my presence, and then I’d gotten this side of him. The uncaring, gruff man who spoke in harsh tones and still managed to steal my breath and invade my thoughts as if I should be thinking about anyone who wasn’t Jackson.
“There’s what?” he asked, a whisper of dull amusement weaving through the caution in those short words.
“Nothing. I’m sorry.”
“Say it, Miss Pearson.”
I took an unsteady step back as if I might be able to escape the rage clinging to him the deeper I was in the room, but still tipped up my chin and whispered, “You radiate anger and animosity. And if I can feel that, Kaia can too.”
Asher stared at me for so long that I started trembling. Or maybe I had been ever since I’d realized he was there—maybe my shaking was just getting worse the longer I stood there under his gaze.
“I’m sorry about your brother,” I said just as he began pushing away from the doorframe.
He stilled, his hand reaching out to grip the frame as if for support. “Me too,” he finally muttered before turning and disappearing as silently as he’d come.
I released a shaky breath once he was gone, my heart hammering against my ribs so painfully loud in the otherwise silent room. And yet, as I readjusted Kaia’s weight in my arms, I had a feeling it had nothing to do with how terrifying Asher Briggs could be.
Guilt swept through me and knotted in my throat as unbidden thoughts of Asher Briggs tore through my mind the way they always seemed to. Only now, he was no longer that guy from the wildest encounter of my life .
He was my boss—my surly, frightening boss. That was all...that had to be all.
But with every unsteady breath, I saw a dark, narrowed stare. With every silent reprimand, I heard the veiled amusement that had a way of slipping into his unforgiving words. With every reminder of my relationship with Jackson, my thoughts drifted back to a tall, imposing man with a tightly clenched jaw.
“This is bad,” I whispered to the dark room, the words barely scraping past my shame.
Every instinct was telling me to quit because this could only end badly. But how was I supposed to walk out of this room and quit a job with no explanation? Because there was absolutely no way I could tell that man I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. And how was I supposed to walk away from the baby I was holding when I’d already vowed to make sure she thrived in this new life—when I’d been crushed just hours before at the thought of this job being taken from me?
With a determined breath, I shook my head before nodding fiercely as I moved to the crib to lay Kaia down.
I could do this. I could bury my fascination with the man who seemed to be as cold and uninviting as the apartment he lived in until it was no longer an issue. I could do my job and not let my absurdly handsome boss become another reason for my relationship with Jackson to become even more unstable.
Right?
Once I was sure Kaia wasn’t going to wake up, I hurried from the room all while trying to figure out how to let Asher know I was leaving without having to face him again. But I slowed to a stop once I made it out of the hallway because he was there, directly in front of me, sitting on one of the living room couches.
“What is it, Miss Pearson?” he asked without ever straightening from his hunched-over position or turning to look at me.
I didn’t comment on the Miss Pearson or ask why he’d reverted to the formality after finally calling me by my first name, I just awkwardly cleared my throat and started walking again...toward the front of the apartment.
“I’m leaving,” I informed him.
If I hadn’t been watching him out of the corner of my eye, I wouldn’t have noticed the way his head snapped in my direction a split second before he stood, gripping the notebook I’d been furiously writing in all day. “And if she wakes up?”
A stunned breath burst from me as I turned on him. “Then she wakes up, Mr. Briggs.”
“Asher.”
“Right, I don’t care what your name is,” I said firmly. “This is awkward enough because of what happened last year. Which”—I hurried to add, hand already raised to stop him when his lips parted—“I know we aren’t talking about because apparently we aren’t adults, or whatever. But you’re my boss now, so get used to hearing Mr. Briggs .
“And you clearly have no experience with babies or caring for anyone other than yourself,” I went on, waving irritably at him, “but if you’re going to have custody of that little girl, you need to learn how to take care of her. Or get a full-time, live-in nanny, which I refuse to be because I think Kaia deserves better—she deserves a sense of family.”
I sucked in a quick breath and pressed my hands to my twisting stomach once the words were free. Worrying over the repercussion of them, desperately wanting to take them back even though they were true, and wondering what exactly had come over me for me to talk like that to anyone.
But when Asher finally spoke, that trace of amusement was there again, knitting through his deceptively calm and terrifying tenor. “Interesting...Ada said you were a people-pleaser and exceedingly kind, almost to a fault.”
“I’m sorry. It’s been an emotionally exhausting week,” I confessed when I realized he was waiting for an explanation. “Not like yours—sorry. I really have no room to complain about anything.”
“Don’t apologize for saying what you think,” he mumbled as he glanced at the notebook before carefully setting it on the large coffee table. “Not to me, anyway. I appreciate honesty over everything else.”
Then I could only assume my great-aunt hadn’t told him about my years in Tennessee. Probably for the best considering what he was entrusting me with.
Rocking back a step, I said, “Well, I’ll?—”
“I need you to stay late tomorrow,” he said over me, stilling my feet again. Just as I was about to remind him that I refused to be a full-time nanny, he added, “Told you there would be days we have security details. Tomorrow’s event isn’t scheduled to end until seven, and that’s only the portion where we’re at the venue.”
I nodded as I took in the information and tried figuring out how late I would potentially need to stay. “Okay, I’ll be here.” After taking a step back, I hesitantly said, “But maybe next time you could give me more notice than a handful of hours before that shift begins?”
The corner of Asher’s mouth tipped up in a smirk that both stunned and fascinated me because it took me right back to the coffee shop; wanting nothing more than to kiss a stranger again to see if the irrationally beautiful reaction he’d incited had been a fluke or something else entirely.
And my traitorous heart responded.
“I forgot,” he admitted. “I’ve never had to run my schedule past anyone other than my team.”
Why did wonder and excitement rush through my veins at his admission? Why did my thoughts run wild at all the possible implications of that statement? Why had this man always been so intriguing when he was someone I needed to avoid for so many reasons?
“Right,” I finally managed to say, the word coming out soft and unsure as I forced myself to continue backing away. “Well, good night.”
I didn’t wait for a response or to see what expression would cross his face next, I just turned and started for the elevator.
But when I pressed the button, his voice sounded from behind me. “Lainey...”
Chills swept across my body as I hesitantly glanced over my shoulder, only for a strained breath to escape my lungs when I saw my bag hanging from his fingertips.
“Oh.” An embarrassed laugh punched from my lungs as I reached for the strap. “Yeah, I guess I need—” My stare lifted to his when he held tight to my purse, that unruly pounding of my heart so fierce, I was sure he could hear it.
But he simply muttered, “Nice bag,” before releasing it and me, confusing me as I self-consciously clutched it to my chest.
“Um . . .”
“It zips,” he explained as another subtle smirk tugged at his mouth.
“Oh... oh .” Heat crept into my cheeks because I had bought this purse after my encounter with him.
Granted, by the time I’d left the shop that morning, I’d been positive Asher had blown the entire thing way out of proportion, but he’d still scared me enough into making sure no one could easily slip a tracker onto me again.
I’d bought the purse as soon as I’d reached Tennessee.
A hesitant laugh tumbled past my lips as I glanced down at the bag in question before meeting his dark eyes again. “Well, you know...some angry man told me it might be smart to have a purse that closes.”
Amusement poured from him just as a distinctive ding alerted us the car had arrived. After a quick glance behind me, he studied my face and gave a subtle nod. “Thank you.”
“For buying a new purse?” I asked as I stepped onto the elevator, the question a gentle tease. “Didn’t think I had an option.”
“For coming tonight.”
I turned at the unexpected response, shock rendering me speechless for a few seconds too long before I uttered a breathless, “Of course.”
Before the doors could close, I pressed the button to keep them open and stepped forward, meeting all that imposing intensity head on to search his expectant expression.
And for the smallest second, I wondered if our brief kiss haunted him the way it did me. But that wasn’t what this was about because, despite everything, the man in front of me wasn’t why I was here.
“You can do this,” I told him. “I know it’s hard when she cries and refuses to sleep, and I know you’re struggling with your own grief that I can’t begin to imagine. But just try to remember that Kaia’s hurting in her own way too—a way we literally can’t understand, and she can’t communicate.”
I gestured to the open space behind him. “And, who knows, she might be upset because she’s growing or getting a new tooth, but I really think it’s the confusion and changes. She’ll get into a routine soon...you both will.”
Stepping back, I kept my stare on my sandaled feet when all I wanted was to look at the man watching me leave. Once the doors shut and the elevator started descending, I released a shaky breath and staggered back to lean against the wall; my hand pressing against the chaotic pounding in my chest as I worried over my attraction to the man upstairs.
For every flash of Asher that danced through my thoughts, I replaced it with a memory of Jackson, which only made my guilt burn hotter.
I’m in so much trouble.
When the doors opened on the lobby level, I began lifting my tired head and pushing from the wall only for a startled scream to rip from me at the unexpected voice.
“Miss Pearson?”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat, my heart now racing for an entirely different reason as I looked at the uniformed doorman standing just outside the elevator. “Um, I’m?—”
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said with a kind smile when words failed me. Placing his hand on the opening so the doors wouldn’t close, he informed me, “Mr. Briggs called down and asked me to walk you to your car.”
“Oh.” I exhaled quickly, the end trailing off into something resembling an apologetic laugh as I followed the man into the expansive lobby. “Sorry, I just...wasn’t expecting anyone to be there. I’m also fine,” I assured him, gesturing in the direction of the parking garage. “You don’t need to walk me.”
He made a face as if to let me know that wasn’t an option. “I was told to make sure you left safely.”
My eyes narrowed as I contemplated his expression and how absolutely terrifying Asher Briggs could make the simplest words sound. “And you have to?” I assumed.
The doorman gave a subtle, meaningful nod that encompassed everything I’d learned about the man upstairs in the few times I’d been around him.
I was understanding more and more why my aunt Ada enjoyed pushing Asher. She was right: Someone needed to.
But I didn’t want to risk this man’s job, so I just said, “Okay then,” and started walking toward the parking garage. The exceptionally well-lit and well-guarded, private parking garage.
From the way the doorman walked a step behind and beside me to the way he hurried around me to get the door, checking outside it as he did, I got the distinct impression this was something he did often.
And even as a sliver of unfounded jealousy wove through my stomach, I was grateful for the notion. I needed something to cling to if I was ever going to get my heart to beat in a normal rhythm around my new boss.
“Does he make you do this a lot?” At the doorman’s questioning glance, I pointed to the ceiling and clarified, “Mr. Briggs. Do you have to do this for him often?”
“No.” The word left the man on a huff of amusement as he led me through the garage. “Other tenants? Yes. But in the years I’ve worked here, Mr. Briggs has never had a romantic guest.”
Oh.
He offered me a wink. “You must be special.”
“Oh, no...I—no,” I stammered, my head quickly shaking as I forced back every thought that was quick to rise. “No, I work for him.”
The man seemed to consider my words, but the same knowing smile from when he’d helped me onto the elevator earlier was edging at the corners of his mouth, as if he was sure there was more to it.
“I’m the new nanny for his niece,” I explained, even though I knew I needed to let it go. That, by continuing to explain, I was just making it worse. “She was struggling tonight, and he needed help. That’s all.”
“Of course,” he said with a conspiratorial wink as if silently agreeing to be in on our secret when there wasn’t one.
My lips parted to continue assuring him nothing was going on between Asher Briggs and me, but only a sigh left. I’d caused this by letting my curiosity get the better of me and asking questions that were so not my business.
Just another mess I’d have to deal with . . . later.
“This is me,” I said once we made it to my SUV. “Thank you for walking me.”
“Anytime, ma’am.” The meaningful smirk on his face told me all I needed to know: He was sure we would be doing this again...and soon.
I forced a smile that felt as exhausted as the rest of me as I climbed into the driver’s seat and started my car. Pulling my phone out before tossing my bag onto the passenger seat, I’d just unlocked the screen before noticing the doorman was still standing there. Waiting.
Realizing he wasn’t going to leave until I did, I pulled out of the parking space and started the process of weaving through the large garage. But just before I made it to the guarded exit, I brought my car to a stop and lifted my phone again.
A hint of a smile tugged at my lips as I went to my messages and started a new one to Asher. And as much as I wanted to deny it, those traitorous wings in my stomach took flight all over again when the three little dots appeared—indicating he was responding—within seconds after I’d hit send, as if he’d been waiting for something .
I made it through the deserted lobby and blindingly bright parking garage to my car, thanks to the doorman. Not sure what I would’ve done if he hadn’t been there to help guide me through such a dangerous place.
The Jerk
Not every evil thing hides in the dark. Some don’t hide at all. I thought you’d already learned that.
My eyes rolled at the response. I could just picture him delivering it with those unforgiving eyes and that harsh, hushed tone. Apparently the exaggerated scare tactics never ended with him.
Comforting. No wonder you have such a sunny disposition.
The Jerk
Good night Miss Pearson.
I locked my screen and dropped my phone in the cupholder, my eyes drifting to the clock on my dashboard as I took my foot off the brake and started rolling forward again.
It was almost two in the morning.
In five hours, I’d be on my way back here. Exhaustion settled into my body at the realizationas did a flutter of anticipation and excitement. If only Kaia was the sole reason behind my excitement...