Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Blink once if you’re okay and twice if you’re in pain.”
I bat my eyes twice at Rio, who’s looming over me like a guardian angel. The distant roar of the crowd swells and dips, disconnected from the thick tension in the training room. I’m not sure how I got here, and by the look on his face, I won’t be leaving anytime soon.
Isla’s hands are unsteady as she presses an icepack into my palm. “How are you feeling?”
My fingers go instinctively to the spot where the ball slammed into my helmet, right above my temple. A hot, angry bruise is already blooming beneath my skin. “Like shit.”
Nervous energy clings to Rio despite the calm expression he wears. “That’s to be expected, kid. You took a fastball to the head.”
With one final sweep of the penlight across my eyes, Isla slides it into her pocket. “Tracking is good. Are you dizzy? Nauseous? Having double vision?”
“None,” I say, thankful it’s the truth. “But my head is killing me.”
“As the adrenaline wears off, it may get worse.” She squints at me for a moment before the tension eases from between her brows.
“Well, the good news is there are no signs of a concussion. Your pupils are normal, and the baseline is good, so no glaring red flags at this moment. You got very lucky, Cade.”
Cold from the ice pack seeps into the side of my head. The stubborn ache reminds me how fast a pitch travels.
When I catch sight of my helmet, the piercing pop echoes in my ears once more. A shard of light runs across the earflap, highlighting the jagged line through the carbon fiber.
If the earflap wasn’t there, it could’ve been lights out for me.
As dramatic as it sounds, it’s true. Had I taken that ball to the temple without protection, I might’ve lost my life on the field tonight.
The thought is sobering, but instead of breaking down like my body begs to, I swallow the fear and force a smile onto my face.
“Got cleared a week ago, and now this? I think life is saying to chill.”
“And that’s exactly what you’re going to do.” Rio rests a hand on my shoulder. “It could’ve been so much worse, Owens. But you’re here, sitting up straight and talking normally. The win is that you’re okay. Nothing else matters.”
“Agreed.” Isla hands me two pills. “No NSAIDs, okay? Tylenol only. No screens. Not even your phone. Hydrate. And you can’t stay by yourself tonight. Sleeping is fine, but someone must be with you all night.”
Swallowing the pills dry, I shake my head. “I live alone.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Rio grunts. “Shay’s on her way. It took her a while to get in touch with your mom since she’s working, but your mother said you’ll be staying with her tonight.”
“Shay was busy. She didn’t need to—”
“I didn’t ask her to come,” he cuts in. “She was already driving when she called and demanded to know if you were okay.”
For the first time since the hit, my heartbeat seems to slow. I want her to be in control of what happens between us because her career is the one that’s at risk, but I know the moment I see her, I’m going to want to hug her and never let go.
Now that the adrenaline is lessening, fatigue is creeping in fast. I want nothing more than to let sleep swallow me whole, but I know better. They need me upright and awake for a little longer while we play the game of patience.
And that’s okay. Could’ve been a hell of a lot worse.
“If your re-evaluation tomorrow morning goes well, we’ll discuss next steps.
” A knock at the door distracts Rio. “By the way, before Shay called, we found out that someone picked up a will-call ticket for you tonight. Security went up and got them because we didn’t want you to be alone.
They’re outside if you’re ready for a visitor. ”
Will-call ticket? There’s only one person on that list.
When Rio clears his throat, I straighten. “Sure.”
Isla walks to the door. “Remember what I said, Cade. No being alone. No screens. No NSAIDs. And drink water like your life depends on it. I’ll come watch you if I need to. My husband would love to babysit a pro baseball player.”
She leaves the room with Rio on her heels, but my focus is on the man who looks like he hasn’t slept in days.
I haven’t seen Jimmy since the night Shay sneakily forced us to reunite at the batting cages.
Before that, no words had been exchanged since I decided to work with Jon.
I’ve sat outside of Slim Jim Batting for hours, running through the things I wanted to say to him.
But every time, I’d go back home without saying a word.
The moment I try to stand, Jimmy hurries over and guides me back into the chair. “Stay seated. Do you have a concussion?”
I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak.
“Good.” With a gentle touch, he cups my face in his hands. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Cade. I was so damn worried.”
The tight coils at his temples are silver under the garish lights. His face looks weathered too. I always believed Jimmy wouldn’t age, but a lot has changed since I left for California.
One of my promises to Jimmy when I decided to play professionally was that he would always be my will-call ticket guest. I’d pay for my friends and family to come, but as the coach who changed my life, he deserved the one ticket.
But the ticket had never been used. Not until tonight.
“I hate that the first game you come to is the one where I take a ball to the head.”
Jimmy blinks hard. “You think this is the first game I’ve attended?”
“You’ve never picked up the ticket for you. Not once.”
“Because I buy my own tickets, Cade. Haven’t missed a game all season.”
My vision goes hazy when my head snaps up. “Then why use the will-call ticket tonight?”
“A silly mistake. I accidentally bought a ticket for the wrong night, but when I showed them my ID, they said there was a ticket waiting for me. I almost went home, but I’m glad I didn’t. When they came to get me . . .” Voice trembling, he trails off. “I just needed to make sure you were okay.”
He moves to go, but I reach for his wrist and blurt, “I’m sorry, Jimmy.
I’m so sorry.” That stops him cold, giving me a chance to say the words I haven’t been able to say.
“I should’ve listened to you and trusted you when you said Jon was bad for me, but I thought I knew better.
I hoped you were wrong. Part of me worried you were trying to keep me from entering the league. ”
A muscle jumps in his cheek. “After everything we had been through, why would you think that?”
“Stupidity? Fear? Jon made it clear that working with someone less experienced and talented than him would ruin my baseball career, and I believed him.”
Jimmy’s face flames, giving me a flashback to the coach who ran us ragged after my teammate cursed at our calculus teacher. “That man’s a grade A narcissist.”
“I know that now, but that doesn’t change anything. Everything’s already ruined.”
Jimmy’s lips press into a flat line. He has every right to be upset.
My dad may have left us, but Jimmy always showed up. He’s the man who taught me how to tie a tie. Helped me choose my prom tux. Moved all my crap into my college dorm.
And I messed everything up.
Pulling up a chair, he settles beside me.
“You didn’t ruin anything, Cade. If anything, I did.
I shouldn’t have snapped at you that night.
All I could see was that predatory look in his eye and I freaked out.
You always knew what you wanted to be, and Jon didn’t care about the guy I adored. Just what you could give him.”
Knowing that Jimmy saw the real Jon makes me feel better, but only slightly.
“I don’t think I ever knew who I was.” My temple throbs as I remove the ice pack from it. “Looking back, everything seems warped.”
His question is earnest. “In what way?”
“My whole life, I’ve been a baseball player. I grew up playing baseball, traveled for baseball, went to college on a baseball scholarship, and didn’t finish my degree so I could play baseball. That’s all people saw me as, the golden boy, and it’s all I saw myself as too.”
As if ashamed of coming clean, I look away.
This is why I kept my distance. All I heard in my ear from Jon was that I wasn’t doing enough or living up to the title that was created for me, and I didn’t want to hear it from Jimmy too.
Disappointing him was my biggest fear. I wanted him to be proud of me for making it.
Instead, I lost one of the most important people in my life.
Jolting me from my shame spiral, Jimmy bellows a laugh. “Well, I’d like to officially welcome you to the pro-athlete club.”
I stare at him, thoroughly confused. “Club?”
His head falls forward. “There’s something about the way the sport shifts from fun and competitive to being the thing that not only pays your bills, but also the only thing everybody knows you for.
The guy who either messes up all the time or the guy who is constantly smiling, which means the moment he slips up, everybody jumps on it.
” His hand finds my knee and squeezes. “The reason I didn’t use your will-call tickets is because I didn’t want you to think I was using you.
Watching your games was the only way I could see you, so I watched from afar. I knew we’d talk someday.”
A chuckle slips out. “I’ve never been good at the whole talking thing.”
“Nope.” He snorts. “But you’ve gotten better. Any idea why?”
There’s no need to think about my answer.
“Three months ago, I got a wakeup call that I desperately needed. Hurt like hell, but I was reminded about who I am outside of baseball.”
Jimmy smiles. “Around the time you signed a new agent, huh?”
We both know it.
“It’s sad,” I say, shaking my head. “I ended things to make life easier on her, and look at us now.”
He hums. “Did you ask her if ending things would make things easier for her, or did you just assume it would?” My silence is answer enough, and he takes my hand.
“You were drowning and didn’t want to take her down with you.
It’s noble, but Shay has spent every day since you left trying to hide how she felt.
Trying to forget you. That’s why I was shocked when she became your agent.
But seeing you together reminded me why you two worked so well. ”
We never talked much about Shay, but Jimmy knew how I felt about her. Even before we decided to try for more, he knew I had fallen in love with my best friend’s best friend.
“Why?”
“Because that loyal woman was always going to have your back, even when you pushed her away. She’s stubborn in the best way.”
I’m about to ask him how to get her back when the door opens.
“C.C.!”
Her shriek shatters my heart, and I drop to my knees and open my arms for my little sister. Violet slams into me, and even though my head throbs from the impact, I focus on her tears soaking through my shirt.
“Don’t cry, little. Look!” I pull back so she can see my whole face. “I’m barely even hurt. Just a little bruise, but I’m totally fine.”
“Don’t lie to me!” she snaps. “I watched you get hit!”
I trace a finger over her tear-streaked cheeks. It’s clear she cried all the way here, and the worry makes her look far older than eight.
Grabbing her shoulders, I smile. “I promise, Vi. I’m really okay. No concussion. And I get to sleep at the house, so you can watch over me all night. We can have a sleepover in the living room.”
After a few minutes of reassurance and promises, Violet takes Jimmy’s extended hand so I can talk to the woman with red-rimmed eyes.
Shay studies me as if I’m a ghost as I meet her in the middle of the room. Slowly, she lifts her hand to the side of my face, and I sigh into her touch. Since being carried off the field, my temple has pulsed incessantly, but with her fingers on it, the spot dulls to a minor ache.
“Are you okay?” she whispers. “It’s okay if you’re not.”
Before I can lie, I pause. I’ve spent my whole life being strong. Hiding behind a smile. Forcing myself to be okay even when I wasn’t. But this woman reminds me that having emotions isn’t a weakness. I got hit in the head with a baseball. I could’ve lost my life and everyone I care about.
So I let myself not be okay in front of her.
“No.” My voice trembles, cracking under the weight of my honesty, but she doesn’t flinch or turn away.
Not even as the tears start to fall. “For a moment, I didn’t know what was going to happen.
I kept going in and out, watching Isla and Rio rush around me.
I was just lying there, hoping I would get to talk to my mom and Violet one more time.
Tell Mallory and Kenneth how much I love them.
Promise Adri and Jo that I’ll make their next graduation parties.
” I shake my head. “I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.
I didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to feel this, feel you, again, Shay.
I thought I had lost you all over again. ”
Shaky fingers swipe under my eyes. “You didn’t lose me. I’m right here, Cade. And I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know what I would’ve done if—” A sob cuts her off, but she doesn’t need to finish the sentence.
Professionalism be damned.
I pull her to me, and she doesn’t hesitate to throw her arms around my shoulders. It doesn’t matter that Violet and Jimmy are watching us hold each other. Or that Rio’s now standing by the door. Nothing matters right now except for this.
“You’re safe,” she breathes into my chest. “You’re okay, Cade.”
I close my eyes. “I’m much better now.”