Mohammed and the Mountain
29
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Although Special and I have been speaking every day since our altercation, there’s a coldness in his attitude—our calls don’t last for long. My mind keeps drifting back to the argument we had last weekend as the cause, but I don’t want to bring it up because I don’t want to rehash it. I need someone to talk to, someone who might offer a different perspective on the situation. And there’s one person who comes to mind: Charles.
When I arrive home from work, I pull up his phone number on WhatsApp, type a quick greeting before asking if he’s available for a call.
“Hey Fifi, how are you doing?”
“I’m good. I hope you’re having a good day so far! Mind if I pick your brain about something? A personal something.”
He doesn’t hesitate, his response is swift. “Of course, I’m all ears. What’s on your mind?”
I take a deep breath, praying I am doing the right thing. “It’s nothing serious, I just want to see things from a masculine perspective.”
“Okay. ”
Clearing my throat, I begin. “So, me and my guy yeah, we had a pretty big argument, and I can’t shake the feeling that I messed up. I didn’t tell him the whole truth about something, and now he’s really upset with me. I’m not sure if I should have been more upfront or if I’m just overthinking things.”
“Care to give me some context here?”
“Is that necessary?”
“You messed up big time?”
I chuckle, shaking my head.
“Why are you laughing. Come on, give me something to work with, so I can understand what’s happening here. Is that why you didn’t respond to my messages at work this week?”
“I did…”
“With one-word sentences. And during team meetings, you were not your usual bubbly self.”
“Wow, you’re noticing things. This week has been normal to me.”
“Fifi give me context here. I need you back to normal.”
I sigh deeply, accepting my fate. “So, my ex reached out—”
“Anything involving ex and current is always a mess but continue.”
Blinking, I sigh, starting over again. “My ex reached out that I help his NGO and I saw it as an opportunity to make my mark—”
“NGO, that’s cute.”
“Charles….” I drag, frustrated.
He chuckles.
“This is a serious issue that’s bothering me.”
“Okay, I’m all ears. No more interruptions. So yeah, the NGO?”
“Yes, I said yes to speaking as a mentor. I told my guy about it the first day I got the offer, but I left out the bit of my ex being the organizer of the event. And then… he found out and… let’s just say he didn’t like it. We had an argument. I apologized and he was like, okay, it’s fine. But it’s not. I know when he’s giving me the cold shoulder. And he is right now.”
“Have you talked to h im about your feelings since you started feeling this… this cold shoulder?”
His words make me pause and reflect. Maybe it’s not the end of the world that I didn’t reveal everything immediately.
“No. I haven’t had a chance to fully discuss my feelings with him yet. I guess I’m just trying to figure out if I should apologize again for not being completely honest or if I should stand my ground on why I made the choices I did.”
“I won’t ask you why you made the choice you did, but what I can say is that apologizing doesn’t mean admitting defeat; it’s about acknowledging your part and working through it together. And standing your ground should come from a place of understanding and explaining your perspective.”
Standing my ground and working through it together is all that sticks to my head. “Thing is, like I said, he’s giving me the cold shoulder.”
“Did you understand what I said.”
I shake my head. “Hmm mmh.”
“This is why I broke off with my ex; sometimes this distance thing can make things more complicated than they need to be. If you feel strongly about your guy, maybe it’s worth considering taking some time off and visiting him. Sometimes, physical closeness can help clear the air and ease tensions. I wish I had done that in my relationship. Plus, you’ve mentioned how much you’ve missed him. Maybe that’s playing a role in his reaction. Men need assurance too.”
I smile, recalling Davido’s song titled Assurance. “You might be onto something. We’ve been apart for a while now, and maybe the physical distance is taking a toll on both of us. I’ll definitely think about taking some time off and visiting him. Hmm… thank you!”
“No problem, Fifi. Here to help. Sometimes a fresh perspective is good. I hope things work out for you. And hey, if you do decide to visit, remember to communicate and body no be firewood, you hear?”
I chuckle, nodding, even though he can’t see me. “Yes sir.”
It’s nice to have someone to talk to who understands the complexities of relationships and can offer thoughtful advice.
Maybe… maybe taking s ome time off to be with him is exactly what we need right now. It’s been a while since my last visit. Last we spoke about it, he was supposed to come visit, we just have finalized the timing.
Picking up my phone again, I send a quick message to Itohan whose new apartment is twenty plus minutes’ walk away.
Me:
Hey! I hope you’re doing well.
Would you mind some company later?
I could really use a friend to talk to.
It doesn’t take long for Itohan’s response to come in, and I smile as I read her message.
New Message from Itohan:
Of course, boo!
I’m home today, so just stop by whenever you’re ready.
Feeling grateful for having such a supportive friend, I make my way to my room to freshen up before heading over to Itohan’s. As I walk, my thoughts drift between the events of the past few days and the possibilities of what’s to come.
Soon enough, I’m knocking on Itohan’s door. The door opens, revealing her warm smile.
“Hey, boo! Come on in,” she says, waving me inside.
“Smells nice in here,” I say, greeted by the familiar scent of her cooking and the welcoming ambiance that has always made her place feel like a home away from home. “I came at the right time!”
We chuckle, settling on the couch as she brings me up to speed on how her day went. She doesn’t delay in asking what the issue is and I launch into telling her about the recent events with Special—the argument, the miscommunication on my part, my growing worry about the relationship being stagnant and my impending travel.
“This is complicated, ” she sighs, rubbing the back of her head. “Especially this one that there’s distance involved.”
I nod, agreeing with her. “It’s just hard sometimes, you know? Especially when I’m trying my best to balance my career, our relationship, and everything else.”
Itohan places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “I get it, boo. But you’ve always been strong and capable. Honestly, if you didn’t tell me this one, I would have sworn you guys never fight.”
“Haba!” I chuckle.
She slaps her hand on her thigh. “It’s true oh. But… if visiting Special is something you’re really considering, weigh the pros and cons, and make a decision that feels right for you.”
“You won’t tell me what to do?”
She looks at me with mock surprise. “I sabi wetin una dey do for koro? If you like go, if you like, don’t go. For me, going would ensure that someone press my body small. Chei I—”
“It’s not like that for us.”
“You say?”
I wave a hand. “You didn’t hear that.”
“So…” she smirks. “You two just hold hands and sing kumbaya? Hmm.”
“Which reminds me, are you still seeing that your Ghanaian boyfriend?”
She scrunches her nose. “If I hear say una dey sing. You want to change the topic?”
I grin. “Obviously.”