It’s Got A Hole In The Middle
___________
After sitting in class all morning, I walk for about fifteen minutes under the scorching sun to the mini-village square behind the General Lecture Theatre. My goal is to arrive at the square on time, so I don’t miss out on Iya Selina’s bestselling hot jam doughnuts.
On my way, I meet Linda, and she jests at my impatience, agreeing to go with me to the square so we can head home together after I’m done getting my treats.
“You’re painting me as if I’m some sort of addict,” I tease.
Our laughter blends with the chatter of students passing.
“I thank God you’re not. And please stop using that word anyhow.” There’s a hint of sadness in her voice. “There are real people with real addiction problems.”
My impatience pays off when we reach Iya Selina’s shop and discover that she’s frying the last batch of doughnuts. There aren’t many people around.
Strange.
I don’t trust the calmness of this space.
I’m sure the sun has something to do with it because Linda is pestering me to move with her to a shaded area while we wait.
I love Iya Selina’s jam doughnuts and I’m willing to stand under the scorching sun for them.
Not Linda.
We find a tree-shade as we wait for what could be the second to last batch of doughnuts, chatting about our day and the recent assignments imposed on us. God save us from these lecturers; they think all we should do is study, study, study.
Some of us students are businesspeople, while others are married—with children! I don’t fall under any of these categories, but I advocate for them because what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Linda shares that most of ‘us’ are in relationships, including herself in a long-distance relationship—which is a lot of work—and lecturers should take that into consideration too.
I look in the direction of Iya Selina’s shop and frown. Huh? When did all these people gather here? I won’t be here and let all these newbies take what I came for.
Excusing myself from Linda’s presence, I push my way to the front of what’s supposed to be a line, pretending not to see the laboratory assistant from my computer lab in the queue. There’s no shame when it comes to getting Iya Selina’s doughnuts.
“Excuse me, please. Excuse me…” I mumble until I get to the front of the line. I’ll only explain myself if anyone dares my entitlement to be the first-served patron.
Swallowing, I fix my attention on the golden, hot doughnuts as Selina uses a skewer to flip them. While Selina does this, Iya Selina takes the other pan of oil off the gas before going to sit on a stool to pipe jam into a cooled batch of doughnuts.
When the doughnuts are done, Selina skillfully moves them from the oil to the cooling basket. Her eyes meet mine, and she spares me a welcoming smile. “Customer…”
“Well done.” I greet, smiling. My gaze darts from her face to her swift hands.
I place my order, then leave the store with an extra doughnut, something I always joked about because of my loyal customer status. In my excitement to tell Linda about the extra doughnuts, I don’t notice she has company until she says, “See who’s here…”
I turn to find him wearing an incredibly shy but self-confident smile.
Linda continues, “Remember Evans?”
Like my brain would ever forget. I let my arm holding the bag of doughnuts droop while I respond with the closest thing to a friendly smile I can form, shrugging. “Hi Evans.”
“Hello Fiyin.” He grins, eyeing my paper bag of doughnuts. “You’re also a fan of Iya Selina’s doughnuts? If I wasn’t trying to play it cool, I would have begged you for one.”
Huh? Big guy like you, using doughnuts as a pick-up line? What won’t guys try?
Linda snickers. “You don’t have to beg. Fifi would share. Right?”
Excuse you? Head over to Iya Selina’s shop to place your order! Don’t stress me, abeg. The real ones know it will be a futile attempt because once it’s past 1:00 PM, the chance of getting a doughnut is slim to none.
My options are to tell them to either forget it or bid them farewell and head home. Instead, I shrug, playing along. “I could… but you’re trying to play it cool.”
We all glance at each other, and next thing I know, we’re chuckling.
“I’m not playing cool anymore,” Evans confesses, still laughing. His laughter sends a rhythmic vibration through my body, and it feels oh, so good...
This is not good!
Ignoring the voice in my head, I keep assessing him. If he looked good the other night, daytime does him wonderful justice. He’s got a crooked tooth he proudly flaunts. His sense of style is impeccable, an effortless combination of a vintage shirt, black trousers, black Shamballa hand beads, and good-looking loafers does the trick for him.
“I have a bottle of cold Pepsi in my bag,” he says when we stop laughing. “We can share.”
“Awwn…” Linda smiles, her gaze darting between us. “We’re done with classes, we can—”
“We really need to start heading home.”
“Come on Fii, let’s chill.” Linda pleads. “It’s Friday. There’s nothing pressing right now.”
This babe!
Now I look like the meanie who doesn’t want to sit down with her egbon.
Evans’s puppy eyes does it. I agree to us finding a spot where we can all chat. We talk about the weather, politics, and so much more, effortlessly weaving in conversations about school. Although Evans appeared reserved at first glance, the passion with which he speaks makes him sound like a longtime friend.
Time flies by in a blur as we delve deeper into each other’s worlds. We agree to head home, and Evans volunteers to walk with us. The sun’s intensity is less severe compared to over an hour ago. My subconscious notices when Linda leaves us to do the talking, as she only nods and occasionally contributes with ‘yeahs’ and ‘hmms’.
Next thing I know I’m accepting a ‘you’ve not tried them? Let’s go tonight,’ invite for dinner at our hostel gate, exchanging phone numbers, and Evans is walking away with a bounce in his steps.
I turn to Linda. “What just happened?”
She’s pressing her lips, smiling. “You like him!” Her eyes twinkle with mischief. “Oh, I knew it.” She reaches out for my arms. “Fifi, I’m so happy for you.”
Huh? What’s happening?
*****
I am going on a date.
Haha!
I. Am. Going. On. A. Date.
It sounds and looks fancy. So fancy in movies and books. But in reality, it’s only the pictures that look fancy. There’s nothing fancy about stressing about what to wear. It’s worse when you don’t know how to act with your date.
I need to calm down. Evans is only one year ahead of me. Just one. Which means, he is also a student. And… I don’t need to buy a new dress.
This is such a mess.
I could cancel this whole thing, and everyone would be happy.
Um… not everyone.
Just me. I would be excited as fuck.
But then, I would let Linda down.
Evans would see me as a villain.
And—and… Evans is a great guy… I just don’t know how to do this dating thing.
Truth?
I’ve haven’t dated anyone before. Duh. Not because of a lack of offers, but because… What does every man want in a relationship? You know it—Sex!
And sex is off the table for me—haha, Mama Gee will be so proud of me. I’m also not planning on getting married anytime soon!
Using that data to drive my decision, I’ve abstained from getting into a relationship because I’m not ready to offer anything.
Oh life…
Take a deep breath… Linda has summed it up for me—go out and eat free food!
Since we’re not dating, who will pay?
That’s another thing. If I were going out with G-Ben and his friends, I wouldn’t be thinking twice about who would foot the bill, but now, look at me asking questions. This shouldn’t be daunting; I go out a lot with friends and family. Why is the thought of hanging out with one person making me jittery?
“I’m not joking Linda. Should I ask him the moment he arrives here?” I’m standing in our bedroom, all dressed up with my nerves bouncing around like a yoyo ball. “Or should I ask when we arrive at the restaurant… hmm, after the meal?”
“You want to ask him?” Linda stares at me like I’ve grown another head. “Um… I—I really don’t know.”
“You know him better than I do…” I say, going through my basket of underwear, tights, and… finally, my beret collection.
“I don’t. He’s just a senior that took a liking for you. We’ve not discussed anything beyond you. After that day you came to my department, he approached me, asking about you. I knew he liked you. He seems like a guy with good intentions and… the most I’ve seen him speak was today.”
Swiveling my head up, my eyes go round without me meaning for it to. That’s major news. All along, I thought Linda was trying to introduce me to one of her guy friends, whom she declined because her boyfriend, Deji, is in Ukraine studying medicine. She has previously done so, and while it was a jest between us, I felt offended.
“That’s… that’s good to know.” I keep my gaze on my mirrored reflection. Gently, I place the beret on my head, loving the way my look has come together.
“See, just be yourself.” Linda smiles, her face lighting up. “If you want to ask him, ask. And girl…” She gives me a thorough once-over, taking in my complete outfit comprising the beret, thigh-length gown, and ankle boots. “You’re going to have him begging to be your man.”
My man? A tiny spark of hope ignites in my heart. He holds meaningful conversations. Looks good and smells nice…
I shake my head in disapproval. “Ehn ehn Linda. Don’t even start.”
The backlight of my phone comes on and I rush to check it.
New Message from Evans:
I’m almost at your door.
And he doesn’t type in shorthand. Who is this guy?!
I turn to a curious Linda whispering, “He is here.”
She bobs her head in silence, like we’re on some covert operation.
Picking my purse, I take a deep breath to steady myself, before walking to the door. Opening it, I’m blinded by Evans’s charming smile, albeit nervous.
Makes two of us…
“Hi.” I force as much brightness as I can muster into my voice, wearing a grin that has my face stretching from ear to ear. “You’re looking good.”
He shrugs, dipping a hand into his pocket. “Hey, I was about to knock.” His smile widens.
Gosh, he looks so cute, with that crooked front tooth.
“Um… how’s your day going?”
“Going well.” I step forward, closing the door behind me. When I turn to face him, he’s still smiling, and I smile.
What are we supposed to do now? Should I wait for him or—
“Ready?” He asks.
No, I’m about to go take my bath.He didn’t accept my compliment. Must be as nervous as I am. “Yeah… Is it okay if I drive us?” Linda said it was left to me to offer to drive.
“Sure.” He smiles. “It’s your car. Except you want me to drive it for you.”
“No, no.” I rush, sighing inwardly that he’s not some macho guy wanting to drive us to the restaurant. “It’s not my car; it’s Linda’s.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” I laugh nervously. “Benefits of having a roomie who has a car but doesn’t enjoy driving.” Stop rambling! “It’s fine. I’ll drive.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. Cool.”
I direct him to where the car is parked, and he announces with a smug smile. “Time to initiate you at Abe Igi.”