Finally!
___________
Shoulders held back, chest thrust out, a surge of pride flows through me as I don my graduation gown with my girls. It’s humbling to recall how much time has elapsed since G-Ben’s graduation and it feels like only yesterday.
My family and a few close friends are here to witness this momentous occasion. It hurts, just a little, knowing Evans won’t make it because his partnership with the Ministry of Power has him in Ghana for a biofuel conference.
“It’s important for your business,” I chastised him barely two weeks ago when I was running around the Computer Science department to get my clearance forms signed.
“Are you sure? I could leave in between the conference and get on a bus to Nigeria.”
“See this man o. You’ve not heard the horror stories of those road trips? Suppose you survive that, then you would start the second leg of your journey from Lagos to down here.” I click my tongue, shaking my head. “No, stay and enjoy the complimentary flight back.”
“You know I would do that for you.” His voice is sincere and sweet, bringing a smile to my face.
“I know.”
“I promise to celebrate your graduation in a special way when I return. Deal?”
“It’s not compulsory to—”
“Fifi, Deal?”
“Oh. Okay…” I chuckled at his insistence. “Deal!”
Standing among my peers in similar graduation gowns, I’m relaxed as the ceremony begins. I search the crowd for familiar faces and when I spot G-Ben, my heart skids to halt—relief, excitement, and a touch of disbelief surges through my heart.
He’s here. Special came! He heeded the call of my invitation and chose to be present on this momentous day. I had sent him an invitation, a proof that hope is a stubborn companion, refusing to be extinguished. A bittersweet knot tightens in my chest. It’s been a long time since I last saw Special. His skin, kissed by the sun, adds a sexy sheen to his already striking features. My lips curve and we exchange smiles from a distance, waves of conflicting emotions washing over me. Despite the passage of time and knowing that our relationship can never be more than what it is, there’s a part of me that still cares deeply for Special. His presence is more than just a gesture; it is a sign. A sign that we share a strong bond. One that defies time, logic, and distance.
Maybe my feelings for him reflect the compassion and empathy I hold for others. Maybe knowing he is trapped in a toxic relationship is what tugs at my heartstrings, making me yearn for his happiness. But I must also acknowledge that I cannot fix or change him.
As the post-ceremony begins on the convocation grounds, I eagerly scan the crowd searching for that familiar face that has occupied my thoughts for countless days and nights. Special approaches me with a warm smile, his sunglasses shield the emotions in his eyes. With a swift motion, he takes off the sunglasses, revealing something lingering in his gaze—sadness? Fondness? I don’t know, but something is there.
“Fifi, congratulations” He grins, stretching his arms for a hug.
Excited, I race into his arms.
The warmth of his touch envelops me, sending shivers down my spine. I take a deep breath of what I can only call the Special scent and the familiarity of his presence soothes my soul. Ripples of excitement flow through me when squeezes me, before releasing me from his warmth. It’s as if God, no fate, has brought us together once more so Special can kindle the embers that have smoldered in my heart for far too long.
As he tells me of the progress he’s made with his plans to travel abroad for his master’s program, torrents of words threaten to spill from my lips. I have questions I want to ask, emotions that have been pent up for so long.
“You still want to continue? After all the money you’ve spent?”
“It’s all part of the process. I’ll be leaving soon.” His fingers absentmindedly trace the edges of his sunshades as his eyes light up with a spark of excitement, a subtle smile playing on his lips. “My work here is good, but I’m hoping traveling abroad will bring a fresh perspective, a chance to explore new opportunities and expand my horizons.”
Imagining the rejections he must have endured, my heart aches for him. I want nothing more than to see him find happiness and if leaving the country will do that for him, then so be it.
“I’ll be visiting Lagos soon,” he says, his gaze fixed on mine.
“Ah, I’m not falling for this again.”
He chuckles, his gaze darting to G-Ben who is animatedly chatting with Linda a few feet away. “He didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“I had an emergency and life has been…” he trails off.
“I understand. So, you’re really coming around.”
“I am and I’m planning to spend at least a week at your family’s house. I’m serious about having Mama Gee’s pepper soup at her joint. Not the imported one.”
Story.“Till you come then. When are we expecting you?”
“Before I travel.” He leans in and whispers, “It’s the week of my visa interview.”
His words hang in the air, and my mind races to process the implications. A rush of excitement floods my veins, the longing to reconnect overpowering any rational thoughts about the potential consequences. “Oh, that makes sense.”
“I could only get dates in May. So…” he grins, “expect me during that period.”
With a wide smile, I respond, “I’m so happy for you.”
His face lights up, and I can see my joy mirrored in his eyes.
The prospect of spending time together fills me with a sense of purpose, a longing to discover what it’s like being around him for days. Amidst my excitement, a thread of caution weaves through my thoughts—I’m in a relationship. A steadfast one and I need to move with caution.
“So, Computer Scientist,” he starts, and I preen, my hands akimbo. “What’s the job market looking like for you?”
I scoff, shaking my head. “Still applying. I didn’t get to intern with big tech, but I’m aiming for entry-level positions with any of them that will have me.”
“Hmm,” he slowly nods, “the competition’s fierce. Considering MTN and those big telcos?”
“Those are not my focus, but… I’m not leaving them out of the equation.”
Every time my gaze meets Special during the graduation festivities, I thank God for this reunion.
At some point, I find myself mumbling, “Special is my past. A teenage crush.”
Who am I kidding? Deep down, I know my feelings for him are still present, and I can’t ignore the potential impact this reunion might have on my current relationship with Evans. I doubt Special knows of my relationship status and since Evans isn’t here, there’s no need to mention it to him. What would that make me look like? Like I’m trying to rub my relationship status in his face? That’ll be childish.
Evans and I talk about everything, so Special’s proposed visit is a topic we’ll address soon, even before he arrives. I’ll be honest and transparent with Evans; that’s not even up for discussion.