Chapter 36
It’s still light when we climb into bed in our pyjamas.
‘Hello,’ Oliver says from behind the pillows. The sound of his voice makes my heart beat faster. I think he’s facing our makeshift wall. It gives me a rush of tingling sensations.
‘Hello.’ I am pressed close to the pillow wall.
‘Have I said anything wrong?’ he asks.
‘No.’
‘Nelly, you’re like a medieval castle with a moat and a huge drawbridge. Most of the time, I feel as though your drawbridge is up, and you’ve filled your moat with man-eating crocodiles.’
His analogy makes me smile.
‘I sense you’re keeping something from me.’
I flinch and turn my head away. My defences rise. I don’t want to ruin a good evening by talking about my curse. That would kill the mood. It would also mean the end of us, as he’d see me as a freak or a witch.
‘Can we not talk about this?’ I need to focus on something else.
‘Sure.’ His voice sounds upbeat. ‘Ask me anything?’
I think about the photo of the little boy. ‘Is that Alfie in the photo over there?’
‘Yes, that’s him with his favourite teddy.’ I notice the lightness in his voice when he speaks about Alfie.
‘I see there’s a photo of you and Jamie.’
He chuckles. ‘Younger and fresh-faced versions of me and Jamie.’
‘How did you meet?’
‘We went to school together – Jamie, Rory and me.’
‘Oh.’
‘We all go back a long way. That’s why it hurts so much with Rory. He was my best mate. We’ve been through so much together. He knew what I went through with Molly. When Molly and I broke up, he made a move on her.’
He goes quiet for a while. I don’t say anything.
‘When I see him with Alfie, it makes me so cross.’ His voice has a firm edge to it.
‘That must be hard.’
He rearranges his pillows. ‘I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by the two people who once meant a lot to me.’ I hear him let out a heavy sigh. ‘I worry about Alfie picking up on the atmosphere when I go over there.’
‘How’s Rory towards you?’
‘He keeps trying to take me aside and talk things through. I have nothing to say to him, and he can stop advising me on my son.’
I’m sensing that Rory is trying to make peace with Oliver.
‘Maybe you should talk to him?’
Oliver scoffs. ‘It would end up with me punching him.’
‘Alfie would want everyone to be happy.’ My words don’t land well as he goes silent for what feels like an eternity.
‘Let’s talk about our footman and maid,’ he says after such a long pause I assumed he’d fallen asleep. ‘John doesn’t see Mary the following day. His heart is aching.’
I place my hand gently on the pillow wall. ‘Why is his heart aching?’
‘He doesn’t understand why she didn’t show up.’ Oliver pauses before saying, ‘He senses she’s got secrets, but he doesn’t care about them.’
‘What are they?’ I pray Mary is cursed.
‘She’s carrying an emotional burden, and it’s getting heavier by the day.’
Definitely a curse. My heart skips a beat. ‘Some secrets need to stay hidden.’
Oliver continues. ‘Later that evening, he catches her in the servants’ stairwell. The house is silent. A candle flickers in the draught. “You shouldn’t be here,” she whispers.’
My breath catches in my throat.
‘The footman steps closer to her. He says, “If I listened to them, I would never see you. Why didn’t you meet me last night?” They both can hear footsteps and laughter from the kitchen downstairs.’ He leans closer.
Oliver’s voice is silky smooth, making me want to unravel.
‘She says, “The lady of the house caught me.” There are more voices, and the candle flickers. “Someone could catch us,” she whispers as he lifts a hand and touches a lock of her red hair. He bends down and presses his lips…’
‘But what about her secrets?’ I gasp.
‘He wants her to let him carry the weight of whatever she’s hiding.’
This is excruciating. He’s got such a sexy voice, and I am so involved in this romantic tale about a handsome footman and a shy maid.
My body is becoming engulfed in a warm sensation.
I want to knock down the pillow wall and kiss him.
That would lead to sex. I might be a virgin, but I’m not a complete novice.
I know how things work. Sam and I accomplished a few things, but we never had the chance to see it through.
I am still a virgin, though. Not only that, but I am a virgin with a curse.
My heart sinks. I’m like the unicorn of the modern dating world – a rare, mythical creature that no one believes exists.
Oh, God, he’s not going to find me attractive.
What am I doing?
He’s a romance author. Intimacy will be his speciality. Romance authors enjoy crafting spicy scenes. He’s probably used to experienced women in bed. Damn my stupid curse.
I can’t do this.
‘Are you tired, Nelly?’
‘Yes.’
‘Goodnight then.’
‘Goodnight.’